Chapter Text
The blade Itachi had always handled with ease felt heavy as he approached his parent’s sitting forms on the mat.
“This will undoubtedly be the hardest mission for you,” He could hear Danzo’s voice say in his head.The man who took Shisui’s eye. A sick feeling followed after that thought. He was following orders from the person who killed his best friend.
“Protect the village, and the Uchiha name.”
Shisui reminded him. A vision of Shisui handing him his final eye flashed behind his eyes, and he couldn’t stop the shudder that ran through him.
I’m sorry, Shisui. I have betrayed your trust.
It was a mission, an order.
This was still your choice, Itachi reminded himself, unable to stop his hands from shaking as he stood behind his parent’s still bodies. He could see how his sword would slice through them in the most painless way possible, yet it still made him sick to his stomach. The smell of blood filled the room, and it reminded him of what he came here to do.
“Mother, Father, I…” What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to apologize? Tell them the truth? No matter what he could utter out of his chapped lips, it could never justify what he was doing. His hands tightened around the sword handle, his knuckles turning white against the black backdrop of the room.
“We know, Itachi.” His mother said, and he could hear a faint quiver underneath her calm tone. Her long black hair was painted red from the bleeding sky.
“Itachi,” His father’s voice was stern, yet gentle. “Promise me to take care of Sasuke.”
Itachi could feel his broken promises eating away at his insides. Instead, he nodded, wanting to give his parents relief in their final moments. “I promise.”
I promise… how many times had he said those words and failed?
Too many. Sasuke flashed through his head, his beloved little brother. The little brother he promised to protect, not only to his parents, but to himself. Sasuke had to keep him in check, he has to do this for Sasuke’s sake.Something stung in his eyes before he realized tears were running down his face.
He hadn’t cried since he saw Tenma’s death. The only tears he had shed was crimson blood after that.
He steeled himself and raised his blade, the sword trembling under his hands. He could feel his uneven breaths against his hands.Sasuke will avenge you, he thought, I can promise that.
Could he though? Could Itachi bring himself to do all the steps he had planned? Could he bring himself to make Sasuke hate him?
Sasuke’s smiling face flashed through this head, and it both comforted and disturbed him. He could remember the few times he did fulfill his promises, when he brought Sasuke outside and trained. Those moments seemed too warm for what he was trying to do.His parents could hear their son’s loud sobs, he knew, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He let shudders and hiccups stop him from making the final move. Tears dripped from his face to the handle of the blade, the unfamiliar water biting into his skin.
Would his father scold him? Itachi almost wished he would, just to break the awful silence of his own cries.
“Do not fear it.” His father told him instead, “This is the the pass you have chosen. Our pain will end in an instant compared to yours.”
How dare Itachi feel pain, after taking so many lives? How could he pity himself when the only thing peering back at him in the mirror is a monster.
“Our philosophies may differ, but I am still proud of you.”
Lies, something in him hissed.
How could father be proud of him? After everything. Out of all the things his father could be proud of, this, must be it?
“You are truly a gentle child.”
Sobs wracked Itachi’s body, and he was unable to stop himself. He wanted to double over and scream. Scream at the Gods who made him do this, who made him the way he was. Why couldn’t he be one of the civilians who were killed? His thoughts stopped as his mind went to Sasuke.
If it were someone else killing everyone, then Sasuke would be killed too.It has to be me. I brought this upon myself, he thought
He brought himself up straighter, and brought the blade down on his parents. He could hear the ripping of skin and fabric as he pressed his eyes together tighter, until the darkness of his own eyelids started to blind him.
The door opened, and Sasuke stepped inside.
Itachi opened his eyes, his surroundings became more clear. His partner, Hoshigaki Kisame, was still asleep in the other side of the cave.
The sounds of Sasuke’s screams tore through him, reopening sealed scars. But he made sure his expression gave away nothing as he stood up and walked to the entrance.
The weather was clear, a perfect mix between hot and cold. He thought about how much little Sasuke would’ve loved to spend time outside in these temperatures, and the thought soothed the dull pain in his chest. He couldn’t help but wonder if Sasuke still loved spending time outside, or if he had any time at all.
He missed the little seven, now twelve, year old. He couldn’t image how much Sasuke had grown over the years. He wished he could hug him, fulfill all his broken promises. Yet he knew he never could, not if he wanted his plan to work. He couldn’t begin to imagine Sasuke with hatred and rage, and the thought of that made his skin crawl.
He could imagine his death, Sasuke killing him gruesomely, taking revenge on the man who took his life away.
Would Sasuke torture him? Would he smile with glee and finally be happy after he died? Whatever Sasuke was planning to do, Itachi swears he will accept it. He would let Sasuke kill him, he swears it.
He would be a hero if Itachi dies in his hands, and both of them would finally be happy.Death will bring him peace. Itachi couldn’t help but want the peace he could never deserve.
As long as his illness didn’t claim him first.
Sasuke, when will you come? He wondered.
“Itachi-San” a familiar voice called to him, polite as usual.
“Kisame.” Itachi turned, nodding towards him in acknowledgment. He wasn’t sure what he did to earn enough respect from the shark man for him to use an honorific on him. It made Itachi feel a little befuddled but he never said anything about it.
“We will be headed towards Konoha today,” Itachi said. “We have wasted too much time already.”
A grin spread across Kisame’s face. “Since when did you want to go back to Konoha? Wouldn’t it be quite dangerous for us?” He said half-teasingly.
“It’s for the mission.” Itachi said stiffly.
Itachi suspected that Kisame was assigned his partner because of the suspicion that Itachi’s loyalty still lay in the village, which they weren’t wrong about. What they were wrong about, however, was that Kisame would be discreet and clever with his ways of getting
information out of him. That explanation would perfectly explain why Kisame was beginning to ask him more personal questions as they advance to Konoha. Kisame’s abilities also countered his Sharingan well, making him the perfect person to kill Itachi if he betrayed the Akatsuki.
However, even if it was Kisame’s orders, it wouldn’t waver much of Itachi’s opinions of him. Who was he to judge when he himself was the biggest liar of all? Besides, Kisame should’ve never been loyal to him anyway.
If you lay a finger on Sasuke, I will pass down classified village intel to all enemy nations. He could remember himself threatening Danzo. But did he mean it?
He told himself he wouldn’t make idle threats, but he hadn’t been thinking clearly. All that ran through his head was his parent’s death and Sasuke’s screams.
He turned his gaze to Kisame once again, who was hoisting himself and Samehada up with a grunt. He dusted off the dirt on his Akatsuki cloak, and followed itachi out into the sunlight.
Kisame didn’t know much about Itachi. All he knew was that he killed his entire clan, just like how Kisame killed his comrades. However, Itachi was different. He didn’t seem haunted by his past, yet he didn’t seem to have hopes for the future, which Kisame found interesting.
He understood why the Akatsuki were suspicious of him. He had a quiet, mysterious, yet polite manner, which didn’t match the cover he had.
The man who slaughtered his clan in cold blood.The genius who turned on his own people.
It certainly made him wonder if there was more to his story. He didn’t try to pry at it, since Itachi had never been interested with Kisame’s history.
Even if Itachi was a traitor, Kisame would still respect him for his wisdom and skills. Even more than that, Itachi never looked at him like he was a monster, he saw him as a comrade, a person who wasn’t purely evil and without reason.
He the didn’t seem like he fit the criteria of a s-rank criminal.
It reminded him of when he was first assigned as Itachi’s partner. He had heard about the teenager who had so much blood on his hands.He had expected Itachi act more like a teenager, maybe just a small glimpse of youth behind those cold eyes.
But no, he had never met someone as young as Itachi yet able to talk about sex without even batting an eye. So young, yet so mature. It made Kisame a bit envious.
‘No matter who you are, you don’t truly know what kind of man you’ve become until you reached the very end’ young Itachi had told him.Was it true? Did Itachi believe that Kisame wasn’t the cold blooded?
Kisame had no other opinions about himself. In the reflection of the water, all Kisame could see is a murderer. Could Itachi see past that? He wanted to laugh at how a teenager could understand him better at first glance than he himself could his whole life.
Maybe if they were born under different conditions, they could’ve been friends.
However, they still had to complete their mission.And he had to complete his.
Kisame had never been particularly good at interrogation, so he decided to ask subtle questions to try and get information out of him.He doubted he was very subtle, because Itachi was giving less information each time he asked. Not that he was giving much in the first place.
They were traveling shoulder to shoulder, and none of them spoke. Itachi had a knack at not knowing how to start conversations.The silence was broken from a fit of coughs from his partner. He looked like he wanted to double over in pain, but since he’s Itachi Uchiha, he doesn’t.
Kisame waited for him to recover, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit concerned for the young soul.Itachi falling sick was uncommon, but Kisame wasn’t sure because Itachi always hid pain well.He had noticed that the coughing fits are becoming worse and occurring more often.He also knows that Itachi had been taking medicine for it, and it happens to be something with his lungs.
Instead of helping him, he simply minded his own business until Itachi quietly apologized and continued walking.
