Chapter Text
“alright now- where’s Lord Hashirma?”, Minato asks, sitting behind his desk at the Hokage tower.
“getting at where he left with granny Mito in the broom closet”, Izuku answers.
In the air, they could hear the sound of wet flesh banging against each other and soft grunts and moans coming from the broom closet in the corner of the office.
“Anija…”, Tobirama says, facepalming.
“well… good to see our beloved First Hokage still as lively as always”, Hiruzen says with an amused chuckle.
“moving on!”, Minato says while trying to fight he growing headache and the sprouting boner he was getting from the memories of the times he and Kushina also had their fair share of fun in that same closet, “Izuku, first, let me congratulate you on dealing with Konoha’s number one missing nin and also on yours and Kaguya’s promotion to chuunin”.
“sir, not that I’m not honored and all, but wouldn’t you postpone my promotion until at least the end of the second stage?”, Izuku asks.
“why so?”, Minato asks with a raised eyebrow.
“well, Karin still has to take the exam and I don’t know about Kaguya, but I personally think it wouldn’t be fair for her to be eliminated by the lack of a team”, Naruto says and Minato thinks.
“Kaguya, do you agree with Izuku?”, Minato asks, turning to Kaguya.
“I do agree with his point, but personally, I would rather avoid doing the tests, so I’ll take the promotion”, Kaguya admits.
“fair, also, the reward for Orochimaru’s extermination will be delivered to you by the end of the week”, Minato says, pointing at the piles of papaerwork, “as you can see, my hands are absolutely full dues to the chuunin exams paperwork”.
“that’s understandable”, Izuku says with a nod, “take your time”.
“thank you, I’ll also allow you and Karin to go through the first two stages of the exam as a two man cell”, Minato says, “however, as soon as it’s over, I want you back here to take your vest, as for the resurrected Hokages…”.
“no”, Tobirama says with a serious expression.
“I didn’t say anything!”, Minato says frustrated.
“but you were thinking about it!”, Tobirama counters, “both me and my brother have been dead for nearly seventy years, we are relics of a past era. I admit our knowledge… who am kidding here, my knowledge can benefit Konoha, but not from a leading position, but I’m not against assuming a teaching role”.
“well, that’s a bum, but that’s also fair… as for Lord Hashirama”, Minato says, as a deep grunt fills the air.
“my brother was always more a man of action than a bureaucrat”, Tobirama admits, letting an angry grunt, “this village was his kami’s damned idea yet, he would always get blacked out drunk on his desk, leave me to do the paper work and go gamble away the village’s budget”.
“if he was so bad, how the hell did he become Hokage in the first place?”, Kaguya asks with inquisitive look.
“because the other option was Madara Uchiha”, Tobirama says with a frown, “times where different back there, the village was young and needed a leader that could instil fear in the heart of the enemies, it just so happened that the ones who could fill in the position where either a drunk gambling addict or a bloody crazy Uchiha… so it was put to democratic vote and would you look at that?! The populace feel head over heels for my dumbass brother”.
Tobirama smirks an evil smirk.
“oh, how he cried when I threw the hat at him and told him how much his Hokage obligations would take from his ‘Mito Time’, seeing him squirm still brings joy to my heart”, Tobirama says.
“and here I was thinking that time you glued his balls to his butthole was the most evil thing you ever did to your brother”, Izuku says, looking at Tobirama with caution.
“in my defense, he deserved it”, Tobirama huffs.
“all he did was make you go decaf for a week after your nearly killed yourself with experimental caffeine pill”, Izuku points.
“again, he deserved it”, Tobirama pouts, crossing his arms under his chest, “just a few tweaks and the C-booster pills would be perfect!”.
“cocaine would be less lethal that that thing”, Izuku says, he had read the report on that particular experiment, “which you were also on, seriously, I’m starting to think everyone that becomes Hokage is hooked on something”.
“don’t be ridiculous, as Hokages we have to be upstanding citizens to give the people who chose to follow us a good example and…”, Minato starts a speech.
“Lord Fourth”, Izuku says with a deadpan, “Senju park, three in the morning”.
Minato goes pale as his eyes almost fall off his face from how wide they got.
“how in the sage’s butthole do you know that?!”, Minato asks as waterfall of cold sweat runs down his forehead.
“hey!!”, Hagoromo protests.
“I only need two hours of sleep and I go to bed at 22:00 when I’m not on a mission then I go for a run in the Senju Park till five in the morning”, Izuku answers, “well, at least I used to”.
“you tell me that, it was annoying!”, Kaguya says.
“is she your wife?”, Tobirama asks, looking at Kaguya, “out of all clans you had to marry a Hyuuga”.
“no, she’s not my wife”, Izuku says.
“not yet and the fact it annoys my dear son over there that his mom gets more action than him is just a bonus”, Kaguya says with smirk.
“screw you!”, Hagoromo says.
“that’s his job once Tsunade signs the clan paperwork”, Kaguya says receiving a look from Izuku, “oh please, save it, besides, knowing you the way I know you, I pretty sure that Haku won’t make the cut”.
“I agree with Hagoromo”, Izuku says blushing, “screw you!”.
“if you insist, we could do it in the broom closet as soon as your great-grandpa finishes putting a bun or two into Mito’s oven”, Kaguya says with a sly smile.
“by the way, how’s Mito even here?”, Tobirama asks, “and why does she look so young?”;
“well, one night I was working on your flying thunder god jutsu…”, Izuku starts explaining.
“YOU WHAT?!!”, the albino screams in surprise.
“that’s a conversation for later”, Minato interrupts, “now, does anyone have anything else to add?”.
Minato should have known better, he really should.
Why, just why, against his better judgment did he let Izuku go into the forest?
“so, you and Karin where in the forest”, Minato asks, the chuunin exams had gone without a hitch… almost.
“yes”, Izuku answers, sitting across Minato in the Hokage office.
Next to him was a fellow greenette with than skin and pupilless orange eyes wearing on her arm a headband with the sigil of Takigakure no sato.
For all intents and purposes, the girl looked nervous.
“then you came across… I’m sorry sweety, but what’s you name?”, Minato asks, turning to the girl.
“I’m Fu”, the girl answers still nervous.
“oh, thank you”, Minato says turning back to Izuku, “so you came across Fu who had been wounded by her own teammates to serve as decoy for them to scape a man eating giant bear”.
“which they failed miserable, since that bear was a cub and the mother wasn’t too far away”, Izuku adds, “they barely made a hundred steps away from where they left Fu when mama bear swallowed them whole”.
“sure, sure”, Minato says, mentally adding another mark to the ‘people swallowed whole by giant bears’ tally, “so you scared the bears, healed Fu… and convinced her to desert her village to join ours”.
“it wasn’t that hard actually”, Izuku says with a shrug.
“Izuku, if Fu was any other shinobi, I would gladly not give a single damn if she betrayed her home village to join Konoha”, Minato bluntly states, he wasn’t lying, “however, Fu is the jinchuuriki of the seven-tails…”.
“Chomei!!”, Fu exclaims pouting.
“what?”, Minato asks, confused by the poutburst.
“his Name is Chomei the Lucky Seven-tails!”, Fu adds, still cutely pouting.
“I’m sorry, she’s the Jinchuuriki of Chomei the Lucky Seven-tails”, Minato says and Fu smiles brightly, “this could cause Taki to declare war on Konoha on the basis of us trying to steal their jinchuurini”.
“actually not they won’t”, Izuku points, “you see, unlike the other villages who bought their tailed beast from us, Taki got theirs as a gift after gramps recognized their strength after an assassination attempt. Gruncle Tobi who has way more brains than gramps put in clause that if given a good enough reason Konoha could legally reclaim ownership of Chomei”.
“huh, that’s good, but do we have a good enough reason?”, Minato asks, narrowing his eyes at Izuku.
“her team purposely wounded her to distract a bear so they could escape, if she had died, Chomei would respawn and considering they are in good enough terms to let her know… is Chomei a boy or a girl?”, Izuku asks Fu, pausing his case.
“he says he’s a boy”, Fu answers.
“thank you”, Izuku says.
“you’re welcome!”, Fu cheerfully adds.
“anyway, where I was… oh, yes, Chomei would respawn and he would go on a rampage to avenge his lost friend, also, the mere fact her own genin team dealt a crimpling blow to her so they could escape, show that if pressed enough they would throw her under the cart to save their on asses and Kami knows on whose hands would her and Chomei end up”, Izuku finishes his case.
Minato has a contemplative look on his face, Izuku had very good points, sure, you often can’t generalize a whole village by it’s individuals, but those were shiboni, they may have been genin, but shinobi nonetheless and the shinobi embodies the values of the village they hailed from.
So, using their teammate, a jinchuuriki nonetheless, as the sacrificial lamb to save themselves did not spoke highly of Taki.
“we are gonna need a solid case to present to Taki’s leader”, Minato says, agreeing that Izuku made the right call.
“good thing I made mama bear throw her teammates up, they are in the hospital”, Izuku says, “let’s just say, Naruto wasn’t happy with them when she heard Fu’s story”
“and her jonin sensei?”, Minato raises an eyebrow.
“he wasn’t either and tried being vocal about her ‘failure’, keyword being tried”, Izuku adds frowning, “let’s just say, he’ll never have children again”.
Minato lets out a sigh.
“ok, Fu, I’ll have you escorted to the hospital for a checkup and to a safe house after that”, Minato says and Fu nods, “I hope you understand, but for now you are a ward of Kononha and will have to go trough the proper channels to become a full fledged villager”.
“yes, Lord forth”, Fu bows.
“as for you, I want you here first thing in the morning tomorrow I have a mission to you”, Minato sasy, looking at Izuku who nods, “good, now leave, I have paperwork to do”.
