Konoha's Fatal Joke - EnvoyofKairos (2024)

Chapter 1: Trickster's Mind, Hero's Heart

Chapter Text

Few things can strike fear into the heart of a true warrior. What frightens them is a mark of what truly separates the novices from the experts. You ask a novice, and you'll hear them list off the names of a dozen or more notorious jonin or nukenin from various villages, and occasionally someone from their own village with an infamous temper. The likes of Uchiha Itachi and Momochi Zabuza are among the top listed, for obvious reasons. Behind them you'll occasionally hear Sasori of the Red Sands, and outside Kanoha, you'll hear tales of Hatake Kakashi. Few of them ever list the acting Kage of course, as they're essentially benched. Otherwise, they'd still be raving about The Professor, Sarutobi Hiruzen. If you ask any of these novices why they're afraid of these ninja in particular, they'll either speak of their vast list of achievements or destructive capability.

The experts are those that know why these ones are frightening and why there are others that could be far worse.

Stealth, versatility, and misdirection. Every year, countless novice shinobi join the ranks expecting to get by on overpowered techniques and combat prowess. These are the ones that forget what shinobi are meant to be. Ninjutsu are powerful, but their versatility is far more important, and the greatest of ninja must be able to utilize it to the fullest of their capability, either by mastering and expanding a small range of all-purpose techniques or becoming adept at so many that your move pool is bottomless. What is most terrifying of these true masters is that some of them can go completely unnoticed, just waiting to untap that potential. An exploding tag under your feet just waiting for a spark. The most fearsome are the ones that have yet to ignite and are given a chance to.

Of course, this is a capacity that few ever develop, and fewer ever maintain. What's rarest of all is those who are born with this capacity and carry it as a core aspect of their being. Usually, those few miracle children are easy to recognize, but for all the wrong reasons.

"Naruto…. The hell did you do this time?" Hiruzen rubs at the bridge of his nose with his wrinkled, arthritic fingers. Upon opening his eyes once more, he's almost blinded by the child's ear-to-ear grin. His spiky blonde hair and random patches of his face and black T shirt are all stained by various colors of paint ranging from neon green and pink to his favorite "kill me" orange. The vast number of stains marring the visages of three of his favorite anbu now standing behind the boy almost makes him crack a smile, professional apathy be damned.

The boy in question just chuckles as he tries to ease away from the assassin currently gripping the back of his shirt collar. "Well, this paint cannon trap was supposed to be for that arrogant prick Tsurugi on his way into work this morning..."

Hiruzen raises a brow and leans back in his chair. "Tsurugi Kaneda? The grocer? Why exactly was he your target?"

Naruto grunts and drops his smile. "He's been doubling his prices on me. Figured I'd pay him back by ruining a good set of clothes and making him miss a day's sales."

Hiruzen makes a mental note to visit Mr. Tsurugi personally later. "Alright… and why exactly did you and these anbu get caught in your trap?"

"Ummm…" He scratches at the back of his head and averts his gaze. "They caught me fleeing the scene of another prank I pulled on Genbe-sensei at the academy that… may have been a bit more dangerous than I thought? How what I supposed to know flour was that flammable?" Well, that explains the small explosion at the academy earlier. Not much damage, just a little paperwork and a teacher he intended to fire got burned. Hiruzen waves for Naruto to continue. "O-Oh, right, um… well, they chased me a good distance, and I lead them all the way to my trap, which sadly, wasn't triggered properly when Tsurugi-teme got to work. But, I figured it'd slow these guys down, maybe blind em or something. But I had to trigger it myself to do that, so I got caught in the blast."

Hiruzen nods faintly, turning to his crystal ball and gazing at the alley behind the grocer's. The paint spatters on the opposite wall to the tampered dumpster turned into a hidden paint cannon provides a clear outline of the young ninja in training and the three anbu. "And how exactly did you get the supplies to build something like this? Or even learn to build it to begin with?"

Naruto snorts and chuckles at his own ingenuity. "You wouldn't believe what can be done with what most people throw away. Old paint cans or colors they don't want, old pipes, air tanks they think are empty left over from old folks dying… and that's just the kinda stuff I used for just this prank. Though…" He bites his lip faintly. "… SOME of it may be stolen from stores that've kicked me out or overcharged me…"

Silence falls as Hiruzen lets the details sink in. A self-taught, mechanically wizened prankster capable enough to catch anbu in one of his larger, more complex traps. If the paint had been poison, acid, or even just kunai, he had no doubt all of them would be dead right now.

That kind of efficiency and the rarity of this gift cannot be squandered. "Anbu… leave and clean yourselves up. I have to speak with Naruto for a bit, and your presence is unnecessary." The three masked figures behind Naruto nod and shunshin away. Hiruzen offers his adoptive grandson a smile and a wave to usher him over. Being but eleven, he's all too eager to rush to the Hokage's side. "Naruto… you have a very unique and rare talent among ninja. Not a bloodline like the Inuzuka or the Hyuga, but a personal skill that sets you among an even rarer and more valuable type of shinobi that I haven't seen a true prodigy of in years, and the last one wasn't even from this village."

Naruto's sapphire eyes light up at the thought of how special he just might be. "Really? But… what? I… I constantly fail in class." His smile fades away as he averts his gaze to the floor, lost in thoughts of his many failures. Sarutobi knows all too well that the scowl Naruto forces on hides tears. "Iruka-sensei is the only one that sees any potential in me, but he's never seen anything 'special' about me…"

"Well, this is a talent that most would have difficulty noticing… that, and Iruka may be a little distracted by having to help clean up the results of your pranks at school." Hiruzen chuckles at Naruto's undignified groan. "But no, this talent is something truly rare. You, Naruto, are natural trap master. Your ability to devise traps and pranks from whatever materials you can find and turn them on the most careful of ninja in my ranks is incredible. Just think what would have happened if you'd designed that trap to harm and used it on a troop of bandits, or an enemy shinobi!" The light returns to Naruto's eyes as his potential sets in. "You're brilliant, Naruto. Brilliant in a very uncommon way. What we need to do now is ensure you master this talent."

Naruto leaps and cheers, throwing a fist to the ceiling in pure joy. "YES! Ok, how do we do this? A private training session? My own sensei? OH! Teach me a jutsu for trap masters!"

The Hokage snorts and burst into a short bout of laughter. "No, no, Naruto. I can't manage to provide quite that much. For one, trap masters are rare and secretive. Next to no jutsu designed just for them have ever been recorded. Furthermore, I can't recall having one in this village right now. This is an undertaking you'll have to see through yourself." Naruto slumps in dismay. "What I can do is provide access to some supplies to teach yourself more easily with. The first thing would be learning to trap animals by building your own traps from scratch." He turns around in his chair and rolls it across the room, digging into one of his bookshelves. "Let's see… yes, here it is." He pulls two books free and tosses them to his favorite blonde knucklehead. "Basic physics and trap construction. If you can get through these and trap ten animals of various sizes, then I'll provide the tools for your next step."

Naruto fumbles as he catches the two books, nearly stumbling face-first into the front of the desk. Once he catches himself and gets a better look at them, he groans and almost drops them both. "I have to read? Come on! Can't you just teach me a jutsu?"

Hiruzen sighs as he rolls closer to the windows. "Naruto… you say you, one day, want my seat, and my hat. Do you realize how much reading that's going to require? How much smarter you'll have to be?" He peeks over to Naruto to find him at full attention, despite the mild bewilderment on his face. "The Hokage isn't just the strongest ninja in the village. We are also among the smartest, the most level-headed, the most trusted, and the most deserving. The only ninja in this village that can outthink me are the Nara, and they're too lazy to want the job. Few are quite as level as I am, save for the best of the Aburame. Whether one deserves it is determined by the purity and meaning of their achievements. As for trusted… well, after all of your pranks thus far, what exactly have you done to gain the people's trust?" He turns to stare out the window. "You have a very long and difficult road ahead of you if you want to be Hokage, Naruto. So the question now is… will you let a little reading get in the way of that goal, or is it too daunting for you to want anymore?"

Silence falls for several moments as Hiruzen stares out the windows of his office and into the vast expanse of his village. Oh, how it's grown since his youth. His sensei would be proud, bless the Nidaime's soul. He had succeeded in inspiring a once rambunctious young man into being the now second-oldest kage in history. Hiruzen could only hope he had not crushed this youth's dream with the reality of it.

To his surprise, he hears the turning of pages behind him. "… Well… it doesn't look too hard. Not as hard as the tests in class, anyway…" He turns his head up to meet Hiruzen's stern gaze with his own piercing eyes. "I'll get back to my place and get right to work on these. I'll see you in a week!" Naruto turns and bolts out the door, leaving a stunned and confused kage in his wake.

… Wait… what was that about the academy tests being harder?

"… Should I look into that?" Sarutobi turns to look back out the window, finding one of his most trusted former anbu speaking to him from the roof.

"Of course. Get Iruka to assist you. I'm certain he's not involved, and he'll be eager to help nail the culprits. I shouldn't have to tell you to be discreet about it, but then again…" He sighs and rubs his temples. "Most of our ranks seem to have forgotten what stealth is. Only the anbu and genjutsu users seem to have a grasp on it anymore."

"Hm.. I suppose you're right." The silver haired jonin out the window closes his book and stashes it away. "I'll be right on it. And I'll be sure to keep track of Naruto's progress for you, while I'm at it."

Hiruzen nods and turns away, knowing Kakashi's already gone by the time he opens his eyes again. They quickly fall upon the paintings of his predecessors, and the lost successor. "… He's so much like you both. Your drive. Your passion. Your potential. I hope you're watching…" He grins.

"Big things are in his future. I'm sure he'll make us all proud."

Back in his ramshackle apartment, Naruto digs through the first few pages of his physics book to start off, with his trap-making book open to a diagram page off to the side. "Huh… so that's where my diaper catapult prank went wrong. The pivot wasn't secured right and swung off to the side, and the force applied wasn't half as strong as I needed it to be…" He turns the page and scribbles a few notes in a scroll to his left. "And my paint cannon's trigger was the same… not enough tension on the tripwire. I was too focused on the ideas of one object just knocking into the next and interacting, not enough about how hard it hit…"

Outside his window, a clone sits on the wall with a smile on his face beneath a spandex mask. "Not bad, kid. Might have to put in a request with the Hokage." He returns to his book for just a moment before smirking as it reads one of the most perverse lines in the book and dispels itself to send that memory to the original. If not for his mask, Kakashi would have had a nosebleed on the paperwork he was investigating at the academy. Few would ever guess that hiding reactions to his reading is one of the greatest advantages to his mask.

A racoon chitters and growls as it scrambles about in a makeshift cage of pipes, branches, and zip ties. The trigger mechanism was constructed from a few clothespins, some scavenged ninja wire, and sheet of sandpaper hidden beneath the fallen leaves. The sandpaper then doubled as a way to ensure the racoon would stop scrambling and struggling after a few moments, when the leaves had been swept aside or ground down. Once it's clear the creature is caught, Naruto scrambles up to it with a wild grin. "Yes! That's three squirrels, two racoons, and an owl now…" He takes a fur sample as the racoon attempts to escape, then lets it scamper off. "Ok… now to go check my large target traps." He forces himself off his knee and to his feet, then bolts through the woods on the outskirts of the village. His hands are wrapped in a layer of bandages that covers all but his lightly cut and raw fingertips. Making some of these traps has been intensive, and paired with his physical training, he had to cover his hands to let them heal a bit. Fiddling with rope and ninja wire all day can be a literal pain.

In the distance, Naruto could hear the honks and groans of an ensnared deer. "Yes!" He skids atop the grass until he stops only a few yards from a deer now suspended in a net hanging from the branches. It doesn't seem to bother with struggling at all, just curled up in the bottom of the net, tangled around its antlers as it calls out. As he approaches, Naruto can't help but assess its lethargy. "Huh… Why the hell would it be this lazy caught in a net?"

"Because it knows we're coming." Naruto jumps and nearly screams, wheeling around to see Shikamaru and Shikaku Nara. The clan head sighs as he steps up to cut the poor animal down. "You should know better than to hunt deer on Nara clan property, Naruto."

"Um…" He chuckles nervously. "S-Sorry. I didn't know this was clan property. O-Oh, one thing before you release it!" He leaps up and past Shikaku, using a kunai to cut off a small patch of fur. "Need to record my catches for Hokage-jiji. This is my seventh one!" He laughs giddily as he pockets the fur. "Three more, and he'll start my next lesson!"

Shikamaru raises a brow and pulls his hands from his pockets to cross his arms. "What's the Hokage teaching you to catch animals for?"

"O-Oh, this is just to practice trap building and hiding. The goal is to get good enough at this to trap enemy ninja."

Shikaku pauses as the pieces of the living puzzle that is Naruto start to fit together. "… I see. Well, try to keep off our property when doing so. Regardless…" He looks over the net and the various small mechanisms used to trigger and pull it. "… This isn't half bad. I'd suggest securing your pulleys a bit more, but it's otherwise a solid trap." He cuts the deer down and lets it land with a thud, then assists it with removing the net from its antlers. "I'd also suggest killing, skinning, and cooking anything you catch that you'd care to. Get better at making reusable traps and sell the furs, and you could make a pretty penny before you're even out of the academy."

Naruto tilts his head as that sinks in. "Huh… Alright, I'll give that a shot." He spins his kunai and slips it back into his pouch. "Shouldn't be too hard. I mean…" He sighs. "… If I'm gonna be a ninja, I'll have to get used to killing. Hunting should be good practice." He stretches for a moment and peeks around to get his bearings. "Ok… I think the next trap I gotta check is that way…" He turns back to Shikamaru and grins. "I'll see ya in class tomorrow, Shika!" He leaps off into the trees without waiting for a reply, leaving the two laziest of Naras watching his back.

"… He's gonna be amazing with those traps one day, isn't he?" Shikamaru sighs. "Troublesome blonde numbskull…"

Shikaku nods and turns to leave. He's more like his father than I thought. I'll have to discuss this with Kakashi and the Hokage. Maybe Hiashi…

About a kilometer away, Naruto stumbles to a stop in a small grove where he set a small pitfall trap with a deep, smooth barrel buried and covered. With only smooth plastic surfaces, no animal can get a proper grip to climb back out. The sounds of scratching and scrambling within proves his point. "Ok, what do we have he-"

Naruto stops as his sapphire eyes are met by the faded bronze of fox eyes. Not a word is spoken, but they plead to him, and somehow, seem to recognize him. He can feel them burrowing into his soul, but to empathize rather than harm. He stammers for a moment, trying to reason that he should start taking Shikaku's advice, but…

"… Ok, fine. Come on, let's get you out of there…"

Chapter 2: Fledgeling Beasts

Chapter Text

"Oi, Jiji!" Naruto barges into the Hokage's office with a bundle of plastic bags in hand. The Hokage barely manages to hide his book in time to avoid getting grilled by his adoptive grandson for being a pervert.

"N-Naruto! How's your training been? I-I hope you haven't had too much trouble!"

The orange-clad brat grins as he sets out ten bags with ten different fur samples on his table. "I actually caught more than that, but I pushed myself to catch ten different species."

Sarutobi pauses for a moment, but sets his pipe down and leans in to inspect them all. "… That's not bad at all. You've completed this step far sooner than I expected. Alright, now that you've learned to enclose and contain your targets…" He reaches into his desk and pulls out a scoll, opening it to unseal a series of kunai, shuriken, and senbon. "You need to kill your targets."

Naruto crosses his arms. "Eeeh… well, I killed and skinned a few of the ones I caught, but I guess ya mean I should make the traps kill them, huh?"

The kage nods. "Of course. But, you should put some subtle cues for ninja in the area to avoid them, so only animals fall prey to your designs."

Naruto snorts as he recalls how one of his traps was tripped. "Guessing Bushy Brow Sensei told you about Lee getting caught in one of them?"

"Oh, I heard." He groans. "That man's ranting is almost as obnoxious as the council's bickering. There's a damn good reason I insist he submit formally written reports of his missions rather than oral reports."

Naruto nods and chuckles nervously… but then starts to cackle mischievously.

"Naruto, I swear to Kami, if you pull any pranks involving recordings of his rants and those damnable green leotards, I'll put you in a pink one and tie you upside-down from the main gate."

That shuts him up rather quickly. "S… S-Soooo, deadly traps? Shouldn't be too hard… but…" He pauses and stares down at the scroll. "… Can you teach me that?"

Sarutobi pauses and stares down at the scroll himself. "To use sealing scrolls?"

He shakes his head. "Using them is kinda obvious. Just pulse some chakra, and poof." He gives Hiruzen a smaller, more confident smile. "No, I wanna make them."

Hiruzen's eyes widen as that hits him. For a moment, he can almost see the Yondaime's spirit imposed behind the boy, with a hand on his shoulder. Soon, he too smiles and leans forwards. "Sealing is a very complex art that very few have ever mastered. Just as few as trap masters. Are you sure you want to walk both paths?"

Naruto shrugs. "Well, who's to say I'll master it? I just wanna give it a shot and at least learn to make storage seals." He scratches his chin. "There's just… so much I could do with them as parts of my traps!"

"Naruto…" Hiruzen chuckles as he pulls a basic sealing guide and a small ink kit from his desk. "That may be the best damn idea you've had since the Orioke no Jutsu."

Once Naruto leaves, Hiruzen leans back in his seat and stares at the ceiling. "… You're planning to take him as an apprentice now, aren't you?"

"… Yeah." An old white-haired sage in a red vest fades into view behind him, leaning against the wall. He doesn't use it often, but his transparency jutsu comes in handy occasionally. "He's gonna make a name for himself quickly. He'll need my protection soon enough. I had hoped we'd be able to protect him through anonymity a while longer, but he's growing too fast."

Hiruzen turns his seat to face his old student. "I suppose so. But the question now is whether to tell him about your relation."

Jiraiya opens his mouth to answer, but chokes on the first sound and sighs, closing his eyes in shame. "No… I don't deserve that title. Maybe I'll tell him someday, but not now." He pushes himself up from the wall and steps towards the windows. "For now, I'll leave him to you and Kakashi. I need to leave again to look into my old teammate. Seems the snake's been digging around near Kusa. A snake in the grass, go figure…"

"Hm…" Hiruzen hunches over at his desk and weaves his fingers together to lean into. "Troublesome… See if you can find Kuma out there. He'll be hospitable and informative for certain. Be especially careful, though. That worm may be planning to set Iwa after us somehow. I'd much rather avoid having to deal with Onoki throwing a fit."

"I'm sure the fence sitter feels just the same about dealing with a certain old monkey throwing his sh*t." Jiraiya grins as he ducks a mug thrown at the back of his head, then turns transparent once more and leaps out the window.

That Monday morning, Naruto wanders into class with his newest book open and repeatedly tripping and stumbling in the halls. With his nose nearly buried into it, he barely even notices all the weird looks we receives from fellow students on the way into his classroom and up to his seat. He even manages to trip on two of the steps on the way up.

"Um…" Ino whispers over to Sakura. "What's up with Naruto? I've never seen him read this much. Hell, I don't think I've ever seen him read…"

"I don't know…" Sakura raises an eyebrow. "Is that a book on sealing? Why would he even be interested in that?"

Shikamaru just smirks at the back of the room and keeps his silence. They'll learn eventually. Sasuke doesn't even bother trying to consider whatever Naruto is up to for more than a few seconds. It's perplexing, but not worth his time.

Hinata of course is taking in every detail of the young blonde's expression as he passes. She's never seen him so focused or bold, and it's rather intimidating… but it still manages to make her heart skip a beat.

Iruka is just as attentive as Hinata, but obviously for very different reasons. He's known Naruto for years now, and slowly come to see him as a little brother. He knew Naruto was training to use his traps more effectively, but he never could have predicted him taking it so seriously. It's an entirely new and chilling side of Naruto that reminds him all too much of his childhood idol, Minato Namikaze. But the oddest thing is that Naruto has never expressed his brilliance or calm demeanor. But… then there was all the evidence that popped up last week.

Iruka clears his throat to gain the class's attention. "I regret to inform you all that Mizuki-sensei has been relieved from duty and will not be returning to us. There's also a few other staff members that have left with him, so things may be a little hectic around here for a while. Potential new teachers are being considered and should be arriving over the next month, along with a new curriculum we'll be experimenting with for the remainder of the year. Expect some significant changes, but don't worry too much about them. This is like a watered-down part of what it means to be a shinobi. We have to be able to adapt to whatever situation is presented to us, and-" He pauses and stares up at Naruto, who's still got his nose buried ten miles deep into his book. "Naruto, could you please put the book away?" All eyes fall upon the blonde as he continues to read. "… Naruto." Iruka's eye starts to twitch, and finally, he resorts to his infamous Big Head Jutsu. "DAMNIT NARUTO, CLOSE THE BOOK!"

Naruto nearly leaps from his seat. "S-S-Sorry Iruka-s-sensei! I was in the middle of a pretty big c-chapter…" He sighs and shakes himself out of shock before setting a bookmark at his page and setting the book away. "I'll have it put away in just a second." He pulls a scroll from his pocket and uses the ink and brush provided at his desk to start writing up a simple storage seal. Everyone present watches in fascination as he completes the seal and stores his book away in a puff of smoke. Iruka's mouth falls open as he steps up to take a closer look at it. "This seal… how did you get this good at making a storage seal so fast?"

"Wellll… My handwriting was already kinda perfect, so that helped. Remember when I spent a month practicing my signature for when I become Hokage?"

Silence falls throughout the room as the bizarre fusion of sense and absurdity in that statement sets in. It takes several moments for Iruka to manage to ask Naruto another question. "A-and, um… w-why are you so focused on this, then? You never pay this much attention in class…"

"Oh, uh…" Naruto chuckles and scratches at the back of his head. "Well, Hokage-jiji gave me that book so I could learn to mix seals into my traps. At first, I had a little difficulty understanding it, but there were some notes in there by the previous owner that really simplified things. Apparently, they wanted to write a better book on it, but I guess they never got the chance to. Seems they thought whoever wrote this one was, in their words, 'an obtuse dunderf*ck'."

Little did Iruka know, Naruto did pay attention in that lesson today, and a few things stood out to him right away. First of all was that Minato was a seal master of the highest caliber. That got him kind of excited about his new career path, considering how much more like his idol it would make him. Second was that the Kyuubi was killed and Minato died on his birthday. Of course, there's also the use of fox's as nature's tricksters, a myth he always felt he could relate to, and lived up to as well. Ever since the Kyuubi's attack, foxes have been hated here, and often hunted by drunks and vengeful veteran shinobi. Having seen the results a few times when hiding from some of those drunks himself, he just couldn't bring himself to harm the fox he caught last week. Speaking of which…

Naruto slows to a stop and sighs soon after passing through the tree line and out of sigh. Peeking back, he finds that very same fox tailing him and now tilting her head as she stares him down. "… You're playing a dangerous game by getting so close to town around me, Yoko." He turns and kneels, reaching out as the fox kit scrambles up to him, shaking and wagging like an overexcited puppy as she nuzzles up to his hand. "Settle down, girl… come on, gotta go check my work." He stands and waves for her to follow, which she gladly does, nipping at his heels as they go. "A-Ah! Come on, don't do that!" He chuckles softly. It doesn't really hurt, it's just a bit startling at first. She's too cute to yell at, anyway.

Eventually, Naruto stops by one of his kunai traps and sighs as he sees his target got away. The tripwire was triggered, but his firing mechanism wasn't quite strong or accurate enough. The kunai are scattered about in far too wide a range. Two of them seem to be missing though, and a trail of blood leads further north. He sighs and pushes himself back to his feet after inspecting the scene, waving for Yoko to follow as he tracks whatever he hit. According to the fur left behind, his best guess was a racoon.

Thirty yards north, as predicted, he finds the little trash panda lying dead against a tree. Unpredictably though, he finds Lee kneeling over it with Gai consoling him. "Um…" he chuckles nervously as the spandex-clad duo raises their eyes to meet him. "Sorry, Lee. I kinda moved up to testing lethal traps." He crosses his arms and inspects the body from afar. "… Really gotta work on the accuracy and firing speed, though. I wanted a quick, clean kill."

Gai looks between Naruto and the racoon for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Tragic as its death is, Lee, it's a necessary stage in Naruto's training, and I'm sure he'll make good use of this one. His death will not be in vain." He sighs and rubs his student's back before returning his gaze to Naruto. "As for a quicker kill, that's a good assessment. This body is still warm, but the blood trail is mostly dried. If this were an enemy shinobi, they would have had plenty of time to escape and recuperate. If they had a decently trained medic on hand, it would have been little more than an inconvenience. And that's if it even hit them."

Naruto nods and kneels down to collect the corpse, sealing it into one of the compartments of a scroll in his left pocket. "So, how's your training going, Lee?"

Lee lets off a few final sobs and blows his nose for a moment as he calms down. "… It's… s-slow, but working. I'm now able to run faster than Tenten can throw her kunai. Neji on the other hand seems to have much better reflexes still…" He growls and clenches his fists. "I need to catch up to him. I need to learn faster…"

"Well…" Naruto takes a seat and crosses his arms. "What are you doing between all your exercises and drills?"

"… Huh?" Lee tilts his head. "That's just to eat and sleep… and bathroom breaks."

Naruto blanches at that. ".. ok, for one, that kind of training schedule is inhuman. Second…" He sighs and shakes himself out of his daze. "If that's the case, then Neji already knows everything you're training to do."

Lee pauses as that sets in, but groans and covers his face. "Of course! How could I be so stupid?!"

Naruto shrugs. "I have no clue. Ask the Anbu that can't find me half the time. Iruka-sensei's better at finding me. Seems ninja have been forgetting what stealth means." He ignores the twitch in Gai's eye as his gaze falls towards the orange jumpsuit. "Anyway, if ya wanna get a leg up on Neji, you gotta train in something else, something really personal that he'll have a lot of trouble dealing with."

"That may be difficult…" Gai stands and paces, scratching the back of his head. "Lee's physically incapable of actively using chakra in anything more tha miniscule amounts for such things as wall walking, and even that took an incredible amount of time for him to learn, so anything that isn't taijutsu is out of the question."

"Huh…" Naruto reaches into his pockets and withdraws a scroll, then pulls a book on seals from that. "What about passive chakra absorbing seals? They're used to detain criminals, but also used as components of gravity seals for training pretty often. I think I might be able to modify them onto just about any seal, really. So if you can't control your chakra, but have a good amount of it, then you should be able to pull off seal-based tricks as long as we use absorbing seals with them."

Gai nods and pinches at his chiseled chin as options roll through his head. "That… just might work. But, I'll really need to brush up on seals. I've only used a handful of really simple ones over the years, and I struggled to get them down."

"But…" Lee stands and arches his back, the flames of youth pouring from his eyes. "I WILL NOT FAIL! I'll learn to make these seals myself if I have to!"

"YES LEE! Your flames of youth will never be extinguished!"

Naruto chuckles nervously and nods. "G-Good drive, but try to keep it quiet. You don't wanna tip everyone off your new moves. Best to have a few aces up your sleeve. Might wanna pick up a weapon with a good reach, too." As he speaks, the impatient fox that had been hiding behind a tree nearby leaps out and into his lap. "A-Ah, Yoko, s-settle down!"

Gai leans down to get a look at the fox. "You know this one? She seems wild to me."

"Um… yeah, kinda." He sighs and gently pets the fox in his lap to calm her down. "She was one of my first captures. I just couldn't bring myself to kill her. Ever since I showed her mercy that day, she's been sneaking around the outskirts of the woods, waiting for me to return every day."

"Hmmm…" Gai's eyes narrow as he stares down the fox. "Very smart for a wild one, but far too friendly to be malicious. I would suggest keeping her as a pet, but in Konoha…" He sighs deeply. "More likely to make both of you the town's biggest targets if anyone catches you."

Naruto nods sadly as he scratches under her chin. "Yeah… that, and she gets a bit noisy, and my apartment doesn't allow pets."

"… I think I know a solution, if you're willing to take a risk." Naruto peeks up to Gai and raises a brow. "You're pretty good at henge no jutsu, right? Well, if you can keep her still and get her to comply, you might be able to wrap the both of you up into one henge that looks just like you, and carry her into town. But not just anywhere. "Gai flashes his signature pearly grin. "To the Inuzuka clan! Ask to speak with Tsume, your classmate Kiba's mother. She's the clan head over there, and she may be willing to help you train her. If she can fight for herself, or better yet, outsmart and outrun most of those angry blowhards that'd want to hunt her, you should have no problems at all! That, and once you've graduated, she'll be registered as a living ninja tool and be legally safe."

Naruto's eyes widen as the potential of it all sets in. Soon after, he grins wildly down to Yoko, who raises her head to look him in the eyes. "Whadda ya think, girl? Do ya trust me to get you into town safely?"

She cannot reply, but the look in her eyes says it all. They almost glow, if not for his vantage point, Gai would have witnessed Naruto's eyes turning red for a moment.

"Alright then…" He stands and hefts her up into his arms, but rather than just carrying her, he tucks her into the front of his jacket and zips her in. "You just rest up there, and we'll be to the Inuzuka compound soon." With a quick handsign and a puff of smoke, the fox head sticking out of his collar and added mass in the front of his jacket are nowhere to be seen. He peeks back up to the grinning man towering over him. "Thanks for the tips! I'll let ya know how it goes, and I'll tell Tsume ya said hi!" He turns and bolts through the woods, headed back into town and towards the unmistakable Inuzuka compound. The barking makes it far too easy to track down, and he's snuck in to pull some of his best pranks often enough to have it memorized from all angles. For now, Yoko seems content to ride in his jacket, and not a peep is heard.

Hiruzen smiles down upon his adoptive grandson through his crystal ball, then peeks over to the files on his desk. Ten staff members at the academy, detained. Mizuki's mugshot sits atop the pile. "These are the moments I really love being Hokage." He turns his chair away and takes a puff from his pipe. "Do me proud, boy. Me, your father, and the entire village…"

Chapter 3: Pack Leader

Chapter Text

The residential district surrounding the Inuzuka compound is usually one of the most loved by new arrivals to the village and the occasional tourist. It may not be close to a very prestigious and rich clan like the Uchiha once were or the Hyuga still are, but it has one thing they both lack:

An abundance of friendly animals to keep things lively and comfortable.

Every home in that area, apartments included, allows pets. A lot of them are free-roaming, as the Inuzuka hounds keep them all in line and almost seem to pass on their value in loyalty to any others around them. Leashes are very uncommon here, and the only thing less common is cats. Occasionally, Tora will invade the area on a bleak day and raise hell until a Jonin can manage to fight his way through the horde of canines and collect the royal cat that many swear is a descendant of the Nibi.

But, there are of course other animals that are often frowned upon in that area. Parrots aren't too popular, partly due to rarity, partly due to how obnoxious they can get once they start imitating the speech patterns of the louder Inuzuka clan members. Most of all though, is foxes. It's no surprise that after the fateful day of the Kyuubi's attack, the village has come to collectively hate the species.

So of course, Naruto was very careful to not drawn any attention as he made his way to the Inuzuka compound. He knew there'd be no way to hide Yoko from their keen sense of smell once he gets there, but he figured he could at least reason with Kiba and his mother to keep things from getting out of hand. For now, he's lucky enough for Yoko to nearly fall asleep in the front of his jacket on the way there. It takes all the discipline he has not to pet her and blow his cover.

The front gates of the compound are wide open, inviting anyone to enter. The Inuzuka are one of the most hospitable clans in the village as well, always willing to welcome guests and treat them like family as long as they show the same respect for nature and loyalty they live by. Having done a little gardening in his window to spruce up his apartment, he's guessing his respect for nature is up to snuff. As for loyalty, just about everyone in the village knows of his declarations of being the next Hokage, regardless of whether they believe him or not.

The moment he passes through the gates, Akamaru's already jumping at his shins and yapping away. Naruto stumbles for a moment, struggling to calm the overexcited pup without kneeling down and putting Yoko in danger. "H-hey, c-come on! It's just me! You saw me in class an hour ago!"

"Yeah, but he smells something new about you." Kiba walks around the corner with his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets. "You smell more like a fox than usual."

Naruto raises a brow at that. More than usual? What's that supposed to mean? Better look into that later. "Um… well, the reason for that is the same reason I'm here. A-Any chance I could talk to your mom? I have a few questions to ask her."

Kiba raises a brow and tilts his head, cueing Akamaru to mimic his partner. "What business do ya have with her?"

Naruto sighs softly, unsure how to word this. ".. Clan business, I suppose. Answers only she can provide. Please, Kiba… this is really important to me. Come on, I haven't asked you for anything since that exploding desk incident."

"… Fine. Come on, she's-"

"Right here." Both boys nearly jump out of their skin as Tsume speaks from overhead. What they look up to find is the Inuzuka clan head standing upside-down on the branch of a tree that's grown over the compound's wall. She smirks and falls, landing on her left hand and vaulting to her feet. "So, what do ya need, kid? My clan doesn't exactly do many favors, so this is kind of an odd move, even for you…"

Naruto gulps as he struggles to calm his nerves, and eventually, he sighs and lowers his head, canceling his henge as he pulls Yoko from his jacket. Both Inuzakas stare blankly for varying reasons, but seem mildly alarmed and confused. "I was hoping you could help me to train Yoko here and get her registered as something sorta like one of your hounds."

Tsume kneels down for a closer look at the fox kit as she yawns and looks the clan head right in the eyes. Her gaze is unwavering, not the slightest ounce of fear or malice of any kind to be found. They stare each other down until Tsume smiles and stands. "So, who suggested ya come to me for this?"

"U-Um…" Naruto cradles the orange canid. "Maito Gai sent me. Yoko and I ran into him and Lee while I was checking on my latest traps."

"Hmm…" She rubs the back of her neck. "Well, I'll have to thank Gai later." She crosses her arms and shifts into a more confident stance that many would find right at home if done by a certain snake mistress. "We've been looking for ways to expand our clan's skill sets, and expanding into other, more specialized canids would be the perfect way to do it." She reaches down and gently pets the young fox to reassure her. "We won't be taking her from you, she's all yours, but training her would make for great practice to be ready to train foxes ourselves."

Naruto's bewildered stare slowly grows into a face-consuming grin. "Well, when do we start?! The sooner we can get this rolling, the better!"

"Hmm…" Tsume scratches her head for a moment and peeks back to her towering hound, looking into his one good eye. "What do you think? Ready to start now?"

Kuromaru nods and steps closer. "I'm honestly almost excited for it. I wonder if she'll be as good of a student as Akamaru's been."

Naruto almost gapes at the sight of a talking dog, but manages to silence himself with a nervous gulp. "W-Well, um… I-I guess she's i-in your care, for now…" He gently sets Yoko onto her paws, and she turns to face him with a tilted head. "Sorry, girl… you'll have to stay here for a while." He crouches and pets her for a moment. "But I'll be back to see you every day until I can take you home, ok?"

"You're not going anywhere yet." Naruto peeks up to Tsume. "Your training starts now. First off is obedience training, and unless she's a prodigy, you're gonna be here for a while."
.

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Kiba lies awake late into the night, staring at his ceiling as the last few days' events plague his mind. He couldn't help it. To an Inuzuka, especially the males, the pack hierarchy is undeniable, and to change positions within it is a life-changing event.

His position as being just above dead last has been threatened.

He's never been the best student. A slacker, rebellious, constantly fidgeting and complaining through class until the few parts he's ever cared about, the physical training and testing, finally rolls around. In those, he excels, but even then, he's outdone. Sasuke, Shino, and Hinata all have better aim. Chouji and Naruto are physically stronger. Sasuke and Shikamaru on the rare occasion that he applies his talents are more critical and calculative. Now even Naruto's starting to improve in those, moving up from dead last and surely to at least the middle of the class.

And where does that leave Kiba? Dead last. The omega of the pack. Lowest of the low and nearly worthless in his own eyes.

It took a while for him to realize what lead Naruto to catch up so quickly. At first, it made no sense to him. He'd never shown such potential before, and now he's one of the most driven in the class, if not a bit off-kilter considering he's always too focused on his own studies to pay much attention to class content.

What sealed it for him was the last two days. First was just how much he applied himself to training Yoko. Even Kiba had to admit, she was one of the quickest students he'd ever seen in the compound. She was still shaky on communicating with the hounds, but improving fast. She could take orders like a seasoned ninken, but had the wit to judge when an order was too dangerous or misdirecting. What she lacks is the strength and size of a ninken, but that can be accounted for in however Naruto designs her personal techniques, and he seemed to already be considering it. Whenever he was on the Inuzuka compound, every moment was about Yoko. All of his training was dedicated entirely to her, for the sake of her future and safety. He found strength in having someone to fight with and for.

But in every moment of downtime, Naruto was seated nearby, absent-mindedly feeding and petting her while his eyes and right hand were focused on blueprints for new traps or practicing his sealing calligraphy. Even when he had to take a break from training Yoko, he was still entirely dedicated to one of his passions and talents. Not a moment was ever wasted.

Kiba may not be the smartest, but it didn't take him long to realize that difference between himself and Naruto. He must apply himself more and stop wasting so much time on meaningless pursuits. He must find things that truly matter to him and focus every waking moment on them. Only then would he be able to catch up and not only take his place in the hierarchy back, but move beyond it and become the next Alpha of the clan.

But this particular night, that question takes a back seat as he listens in on a conversation between Akamaru, Kuromaru, and Yoko. The kit has learned enough now to discuss things that instantly made him question his village, his friend, and even his beliefs.

Just who and what is Naruto? Kyuubi incarnate, or living prison?
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"Danzo-sama. We have news regarding the jinchuuriki." Danzo raises his head from his desk and stares down the Root agent kneeling before him. He waves to gesture the young man to continue. Even fully clothed in Anbu black spandex, gray vest, and painted mask, his high-pitched voice and stature betray his identity as one of Root's youngest agents. "His training has taken a turn. He's begun to train as a trap master, and is progressing at an alarming rate. Compounded with his newfound studies into fuinjutsu, he'll become an invaluable asset to the village. There were contingencies in place for this potential route, but we were unprepared for the second development. He has taken in a young fox as his equivalent of a ninken, and is training them as a joint effort with the Inuzaka clan. Furthermore, we've recorded no less than five occasions thus far, in which he has gone into a trance-like state when making eye contact with the fox he now calls 'Yoko'."

The bandaged old warmonger closes his eyes and loses himself in calculations and predictions. Naruto's penchant for pranking always seemed like a suitable career starter as a trap master, something he hadn't seen in this village since his youth, and that one happened to die during the second war, taking a surrounding troop from Kumo out with him. Having a new one at their disposal would be invaluable. As for the fox…

That may require twisting Jiraiya's arm. He may be tapping into the kyuubi's power unconsciously, or this new fox is drawing it out of him somehow. The biju have been known to congregate with their own kind when loose, and previous jinchuuriki have had affinities for species connected to their beasts. Han apparently has a bit of a thing for horses, and reports from Kumo suggest Ni Yugito is a bit catty. For now, the fox is a wild card, but not one to be avoided. There's few times that a joker is a good card to hold on to, but Naruto has proven to turn odds in his favor frequently.

But, those odds must not be allowed to sit. His new preoccupations with the fox and his seals need to be urged in the right direction. Sarutobi may disagree, but the time for the truth is close at hand, before he discovers his own seal or learns too much from this "Yoko".

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Late into that Friday evening, after yet another long day of classes, training Yoko, and checking his traps in the dark, Naruto finally returns to his apartment and collapses face-first into his bed. He groans into the tangled blanket and mumbles incoherently to himself.

"Not taking all this training so well, hm?" Naruto bolts upright and stares up to his window, finding a familiar anbu mask staring back at him. The simplified dog mask shifts aside to unveil yet another mask and a single eye beneath a tall mess of silver hair. "Konbanwa, Naruto. Been a while, hasn't it?"

Naruto stares for a moment, but sighs and sits up. "Hai, Inu-san. Haven't seen you or Tora for a while now."

The now ex anbu waves that accusation off and sets his Inu mask aside. "We've been around. You haven't needed us to babysit you, so we've kept our distance and just ensured your safety. You've been progressing quite well lately on your own, though. Your traps are quite impressive."

Naruto groans and flops back into his bed, then rolls over. "Yeah, but… with classes going on and needing to train Yoko, not to mention how much of a slave driver Tsume is about that, I can't manage to keep working on my traps lately, or my sealing. I've got too much to work on at once. I need more hours in a day."

Kakashi grins at that phrasing. "Well, you're in luck. It's probably not the smartest thing to do, but, well… you don't exactly have a clan to teach you any jutsu, and most of your classmates know some sort of B rank jutsu by now through them. So, how about I fill in that role for you?" Naruto peeks up from his sheets with bewilderment in his eyes. "How familiar are you with Bunshin no Jutsu?"

Naruto groans louder yet, holding his pillow to his face for a moment. "Damnit, I can't do that jutsu! It's the only one form the academy that I haven't mastered enough to ditch Anbu with!"

Kakashi sweatdrops as he recalls the times his coworkers were stumped by the boy's evasive skills after particularly nasty pranks. "Y-Yes, well… what about Kage Bunshin? It takes a lot more chakra, but considering how much you have, it should be easier for you to manage, and these clones are real."

Silence falls for a moment until Naruto bolts upright. "Real clones? Like, physical, flesh and blood clones that can act for me?"

Kakashi nods and makes a quick handsign, producing a single clone beside him. Said clone then chucks his extra mask at Naruto, who barely manages to dodge it and leap off his bed to the left. "They can only take one hit, though." Kakashi backhands his own clone in the face to dismiss it in a cloud of smoke. "And when they die, you collect their memories."

By the end of his explanation, Naruto was nearly drooling at the potential of this technique. He could practically see the gears turning in his head, almost literally. All his training as a trap master, learning to find multiple uses for everything, and his sealing experience teaching him to weave every stroke together, has made his mind a multifaceted mechanical marvel. When he sees potential, he abuses it. And few techniques have the potential and versatility of the Kage Bunshin. The Nidaime made sure of that. "… When do we start?"

"Now, if you don't mind working late. You don't have to meet with Tsume until two anyway."

Naruto rolls his eyes. "Of course you know that…"

"Well, I get along great with the Inuzuka." He reaches into his vest and pulls out a chain with a preserved hound teeth. "I'm an honorary member. Just wait till you meet my summons."

.

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Training ground three was a popular location. The proximity of the KIA Monument provided both a numbing realism to training there as well as passionate inspiration and motivation. Kakashi spent all too much time here, wallowing in suffering and depression that constantly bogs down his life. Naruto's presence here, on the other hand, helped him to finally feel a bit of that fire he had lost for so long.

The fuel for that fire was provided by the young man with him swearing up a storm between failed attempts at this jutsu. At this point, there was a constant thin veil of smoke around him after the number of failed clones he'd created and dispersed. "KAMI DAMNIT, Why the hell is this jutsu so f*cking hard?!" He punches the grass and forces himself back to his feet, stumbling as he gathers more chakra, struggling to tame it all into the proper form. "Is it… still too much chakra?... Yeah… I keep killing normal bunshin by overloading them…. And I'm doing it again!" He clenches his fists and grits his teeth, forcing the chakra to surround him. "My control's never been good enough, and it's only getting worse! Why?" He makes the handsign. "Why?!" His chakra flares up around him, forming a visible shroud of faded blue. "WHY?!"

With one last guttural cry, he focuses on not one point to mold his chakra, but dozens. As many as he can envision around him. A smoky explosion rocks the training ground, and Kakashi raises his head from his favorite literature in shock. He'd never seen that much smoke produced by one jutsu outside of one peculiar jutsu designed entirely to make smokescreens and the occasional boss sized summon, which he'd only witnessed once or twice in his whole career. What he found upon the smoke clearing was a troop of nearly a hundred Narutos, all looking to themselves and each other in awe. Some inspect themselves for their full range of sensations and physical details, Others leap about and cheer, but with the field so packed, some leap into one another and knock their heads together. As exhausted as Naruto was before making these clones, that little of an impact was enough to dispel them.

Amidst them all, Naruto stands with a proud smile on his face and sweat on his brow, huffing and slouching as he takes in the fruit of his labor.

But then, the final kick in the pants for the night. The clones are all struck with sparks of inexplicable pain at once, eyes turning red for split seconds before they pop. All of them popping at once floods Naruto's exhausted and addled mind with their memories and flashes of random and inexplicable imagery in the back of his head in time with the pain. Assaulted with all of these memories at once, he blacks out, and collapses into a twitching heap in the grass, just before Kakashi can reach him.

.

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Deep within Naruto's sullen, cavernous mind, A set of titanic fangs and blackened lips form an almost sickening grin. "Finally. It took far too long to find a way to drag you in here. Come to me, Naruto. We have much to discuss."

Chapter 4: All Ado About Chakra

Chapter Text

The main chamber of Naruto's mental sewer was far from difficult to find. All it took was following a nagging sensation in the back of his mind and recognizing that the pipes were merging and growing larger down certain paths. Wherever he was headed was the source of something. He didn't know what, bit it was something big. Something seeking an audience with him.

Along the way, he came to find the many mechanisms he'd designed for his traps built into the walls, triggers to open gates to deeper compartments of his mind. A tripwire opens a gate of bamboo bars. A pressure plate triggers the fall of a solid iron wall. The final gate into the main chamber is triggered by pulling a lever that lets the contents of the smaller pipes, which he quickly identifies as his chakra, to flow through a pattern in the gate that he knows only as the spiral on the back of most Konoha issued shinobi jackets. The moment his chakra reaches the center of the spiral from all angles, the door splits and retracts into the wall, unveiling the chamber beyond.

The darkness is the first thing to catch his eye. This entire maze of pipes has been very dimly lit, growing darker as he goes. The room beyond appears endless, all light fading away towards the seemingly non-existent ceiling and leaving an infinite abyss to hang over his head.

On what he can see of the walls, the pipes continue to grow and extend to the far end of the room until they sink into the walls on the opposite end of the room, just before a titanic, rusted prison gate. A single paper tag seal adheres to the middle of the gate, such a flimsy thing to hold it all together, but somehow, it apparently works.

It's only as he steps closer that he discovers a set of canid fangs scowling at him through the bars. A pair of crimson eyes opens above them, somehow lighting the inner chamber and unveiling the demon within.

Naruto reels back for a moment, but glares through the bars as facts set in. The gears within his mind begin to whir and connect, quite literally as he can hear the mechanisms of this internal space produce a constant clanging and knocking. The chamber is further illuminated from his side, as countless torches lining the walls are set ablaze, the flickering of freshly lit flames rising into the eternity hanging above. Images flicker across the walls between the flames as memories and facts are recalled and merged. His birthday, the day of the Kyuubi's attack. All the hatred he's known all his life. Mutterings of 'demon' in the background. Most importantly though, was the mention of Jinchuuriki in his book on sealing. It jumped out at him right away, as a prime example of the raw power and potential of sealing, as a method for the author to convince the reader to stick to their lessons.

"… So you've been in me this whole time, huh?"

A rough, guttural laugh echoes through to chamber. "Good, you aren't denying the grand truth in front of you! Humans are usually so arrogant to deny such facts."

Naruto glares through the bars and sighs, closing his eyes as he allows his mind to calm what little it can. "… Do you know why nobody ever told me?"

"Hm?" The Kyuubi raises a brow and lays his head down across his folded paws. "You know what a Jinchuuriki is. You know how valuable you and I are to this village. You were an infant when I was sealed in you, a helpless little brat. If knowledge of what you were had gotten out, especially out of this village, you would have been a target within a few days, and we'd both be dead. Well, by now I would have regenerated somewhere, so I wouldn't have minded that…"

Naruto scratches the back of his head and begins to pace. "Makes sense… I'll need to talk to Jiji for more details, I guess." He turns back towards the fox and looks them in the eyes. "So why is it that I'm only meeting you now?"

"Oh, that? Hah..." He chuckles and leans in closer. "I needed you to be pushed to chakra exhaustion so you would draw upon my chakra and allow us to meet. Although, I was messing with your chakra control just a bit to push the issue…" He taps at the bars with his claws. "now that you know I'm here, it shouldn't be too difficult to make your way back, if you learn to meditate, and detect my chakra. Ask the old monkey about that. He may be an obnoxious human, but he's one of the few who've earned my respect without getting to the top of my 'to eat' list."

Naruto snorts at that and nods. "I'll be sure to tell him that. For now, though…" He pauses and stares down at the floor, willing one of the stone tiles to raise and give him a seat above the water. Once seated, he crosses his arms and starts to inspect the fox from afar. "Why are you so willing to help me when my death would free you?"

"Well…" The fox grumbles and closes his eyes, debating on how to answer. "… You intrigue me. You aren't blaming me for the hate you've received. You aren't a clueless fool who jumps to conclusions. You actually have some promise as a warrior, and one day, may be strong enough to keep up with my brethren and I. So, for now, I have no desire to see you die. For now, I'd much rather watch from within you and see just how far you can go." He slowly turns away from the bars to nap. "Just be careful who you tell, of course. That cycloptic fool who's training you knows already. You're allowed to tell whoever you want, really. I'm your burden to bear. Just don't be stupid and tell someone who would kill you on the spot."

That said, Naruto could only nod as the world around him slipped away. It felt so similar to losing consciousness, like being within his mindscape was just another form of it, and he was slipping back into the waking world.

What he finds on the other side is that only a few seconds have passed, and Kakashi was in the middle of kneeling to pick Naruto up and carry him home. He bolts upright and stares into empty space for a few moments before lifting his shirt and glaring at the fading seal upon his stomach. "… Did you just kick me out of my own head? Oh, it's on furball. Next time I get in there, I'm interrogating you until your fur turns gray."

Kakashi's only visible eye widens almost comically. "Naruto… how do you know about the fox?"

"I talked to him…" Naruto stumbles to his feet, swaying for a few moments as chakra exhaustion continues to throw him for a loop. "Ugh… Why the hell did he have to be so rough with knocking me out? I would have preferred worse chakra exhaustion from another two hours of this over the headache of so many clones popping at once…"

Kakashi's eye narrows as he begins to analyze what he saw only seconds ago to him. "I see… So your clones were in pain because of his chakra. It would make sense. Biju chakra is, according to some reports, paradoxically both toxic and healing. For a clone that cannot heal in a body unfamiliar with actively using that chakra, the toxicity would be the only effect, and they'd burst right away."

"That's how it works? Huh…" Naruto takes out a notebook from his jacket pocket and writes a few things down. "Would explain how fast I heal… I'll have to ask Jiji about how to build up an immunity, then." He sets his notes away and leans against a tree until his head stops spinning. "Ok… I should get back to my apartment and sleep finally. I shouldn't have trouble with making clones when the furry jackass isn't messing with my control, so I'm done training anyway…"

Kakashi nods and ruffles Naruto's hair as he passes. "Should I report to the Hokage and tell him what you know, or would you like to approach him yourself?"

"I'll do it myself…" Naruto starts to stumble away, but Kakashi just barely manages to catch the soft smile on his face as he passes. Though his head hangs in exhaustion, Kakashi knows all too well that that is the face of a man all too proud of a hard day's work. Without a word, Kakashi disappears in a gust of swirling leaves. Though out of sight, he watches Naruto all the way to his apartment and only leaves once the blonde's snoring can be heard through his windows.
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"Good morning, everyone." Iruka jots down a few notes on the condition of his students this morning as he takes attendance. Some students are acting much the same as usual. Shikamaru is asleep at his desk and dead to the world, Chouji is in the middle of his second bag of chips for the day, and Shino is as impassive and statuesque as usual. There are some that catch his eye, though.

For one, Kiba seems to have his nose in a book on hunting tactics. More interestingly, he recognizes is to be one written by a former Anbu captain who taught Kakashi how to manage his ninken summons.

Then there's Ino and Sakura. Their usual arguments and gossip have halted in favor of watching the two biggest class clowns and lowest ranked members of the class as they both apply themselves so fervently that they seem to be entranced by their studies.

Likewise, Sasuke's attentions have fallen upon them as well, rather than blocking everything out as he usually does in order to ignore the girls bickering over him. Kiba, he still doesn't care much about, but Naruto's developments interest him. Iruka can only hope that helps the young Uchiha to stop thinking so much of his troubling past. He could use a rival.

Hinata was usually enrapt by the young blonde, but his recent actions gave her an excuse to gawk openly, and she appeared to be reveling in it. Her admiration for the boy was never in short supply, but now, the pride in her eyes was almost intoxicating.

Naruto had his nose buried into the final pages of his first book on sealing, frequently peeking back to the paper on his right to compare his newest seal to the text. As he places the last stroke, in his endless confidence, he slams his hand onto it and pumps the seal full of chakra. The wood beneath the tag creaks and sinks for just a moment-

The tag proceeds to explode in his face, giving him a burnt right hand and a lungful of smoke. He coughs and hacks for a few moments until he slides the charred remains of the paper aside and slouches. "Damnit… At least it made the desk creak a bit."

Iruka steps up for a closer look. "Gravity seals? Pretty universally useful… a good choice for a second seal to master."

Naruto nods and sighs, pushing his book and practice scroll aside. With a quick handisgn, he produces a single clone to sit beside him and work on that while he focuses on the class.

Sakura just gapes a him. "Wait, I thought you couldn't make clo-" She freezes as the clone picks up the brush and begins another attempt at the gravity seal. "…. Is… is that clone real?"

"Hm?" Naruto peels his eyes from his notebook and stares at Sakura for a moment before he manages to recognize her question. "O-Oh, right! Yeah, I was taught the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu recently. Turns out I could never learn to make normal clones, because I have too much chakra to control it that well and use any genjutsu."

"Hn…" Sasuke narrows a glare his way. "And who the hell did you learn it from?"

"Alright, quiet everyone." Iruka waves a stack of papers at the class. "Naruto has no obligations to tell anyone where he learned that jutsu, anyway. For now, we'll be focusing on the newest part of our curriculum. I need each of you to come up as I call your names and take one of these sheets, then channel your chakra through it. How the paper reacts will tell us what elemental natures each of you have. Better yet, this batch was treated in a way that now allows it to clearly display secondary elements as well, so we won't just be getting your main elements out of this. Most people have proficiencies in one with a slight alignment for another, and we'll be able to see the secondary elements and how strong those proficiencies are based on how the paper reacts." As studious as he is, he doesn't need a list to call names from. "Aburame Shino."

The white-cloaked young man steps to the front of the class in silence. A quick tap of the sheet offered to him resulted in it crumpling and folding into jagged edges, then going rigid and shattering, the falling pieces crumbling further. "Interesting. My clan rarely resorts to using elements, so we never developed any genetic proficiency in any. I couldn't be certain of what to suspect, but this is a fairly unique response. The combination of lightning and earth will provide many challenging possibilities."

"Certainly so." Iruka nods and pinches at his chin for a moment while losing himself in thought. "It shouldn't be difficult to find anyone to teach you these two. Earth is the most common element, and although lightning is less common, we have the third most of them compared to Kumogakure and Kirigakure." Shino nods and turns to return to his seat, while Iruka calls up the next student. "Akamichi Chouji."

The young man grumbles as he sets his bag of chips down and stumbles to the front of the class. "You know us clan kids are just gonna have pretty obvious elements. It's hereditary. Most people in my clan are earth users." He takes the paper and watches it crumble to dust, but the ash-like pale dust lights up and burns away. He raises an eyebrow and grins. "But that's interesting."

"Well, that's not too surprising." Iruka chuckles softly. "That's the second most common element in this village to begin with. Earth is only more common because it's the most common element in the world in general. Just try not to learn any fire jutsu in closed spaces or without supervision." He waves the Akamichi back to his seat and checks his list again. "Haruno Sakura."

The pinkette perks up and pushes herself from her seat to race down the stairs, but Ino calls out to her. "Hey, maybe you'll get wind and fire! That'd explain all the hot air filling up that balloon of a forehead!"

She stumbles and trips for a moment on the stairs, barely managing to catch herself and glare back at her former best friend. "Can it, pig! You're probably gonna end up with earth and water for all the mud you're wallowing in!" She grunts and stomps the rest of the way down, grabbing a sheet from Iruka and nearly crushing it in her grasp. It then proceeds to powderize and soak into a mushy pulp that splatters onto the floor. She stares down at the mush at her feet as silence falls throughout the room.

Until Kiba has to cut in. "So… does that make Sakura the mud Ino's been rolling in?" His perverse grin is accompanied by a cacophony of laughter throughout the room, even Hinata and Shikamaru becoming intoxicated by it and failing to stifle their own quiet giggling and chuckling.

Sakura's face burns beet red, turning to face them all with a glare. "Oh, hell no! I don't swing that way!" She freezes and stares as Ino remains eerily quiet and reserved, a faint blush across her face as she avoids eye contact. Sakura stammers for a moment, but sighs and groans, returning to her seat in silence and slamming her forehead into the desk.

Iruka sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Well, that combination's probably one of the best for you. You already have great control, and these two are best for mastering fine chakra control for genjutsu and medical jutsu." He huffs and waits a moment for the class to calm down for a moment before returning to the testing order. "Hyuga Hinata." Hinata scrambles out of her seat, still having a slight anxiety spike over having lost her composure and laughed at Sakura's expense. Her timid tip-toeing down the stairs only manages to prolong her anxiety as all eyes fall upon her. By the time she reaches Iruka, she can feel their combined gaze drilling into her back. She barely manages to reach out and take the paper, only to yelp as it's cut clean in two, then dampens and lands beside Sakura's mush pile with a gentle splat. "Oh?" She turns her gaze up to Iruka, who grins and crosses his arms. "Congratulations, Hinata. You have the rarest element in the world! Even Suna can't manage to produce many natural wind users, and it may be potentially one of the best elements for your clan. Paired with water, you'll be able to refine your flow and accuracy of your techniques even further."

Hinata stumbles back as she struggles to process the good fortune that's fallen into her lap. "I-I have… that much potential?"

"That's great, Hinata!" Her attention is drawn to the loudmouth blonde in the stands, whose clone has even stopped training his fuuinjutsu to write up a banner saying 'Congratulations!' across a good length of one of his practice scrolls. "You're gonna be awesome!" He pauses and side-eyes his clone. "Did you just- Ah whatever, this is worth that much paper and more. Couldn't you have written that better, though? It's sloppy!"

"Oy, I had about three seconds to write this up, let's see you do better!" Silence falls as everyone's attentions are drawn to the young man bickering with himself.

"You could have done that with half the paper and still made bolder strokes! There's too much of a gap between each hiragana!"

"I said I was rushing! Besides, my faults are yours too!"

"Bullsh*t, I made a faulty clone!"

"Faulty clone of a tyrannical dumbass."

The original Naruto stares blankly at him before pulling a practice kunai from his pouch and swinging it down. The clone only has half a second to beg for mercy before he's popped into a cloud of smoke and promptly replaced. He stares down the new one. "Be sure to do better than the last one." He finally looks away from his clone and around the room, finding all eyes on him, some annoyed, some amused, others just confused. He chuckles nervously and scratches the back of his head. "S-Sorry… my clones get mouthy. I-I think it's because they're temporary and have no survival instinct."

Shikamaru raises a brow at that. "That's even dark for me."

Ino gives Shika her death glare. "Did you just-"

"Alright, settle down, everyone." Iruka sighs, rubs his temples. Of course Naruto would find a way to turn something so impressive into something annoying. It did provide Hinata with a good distraction so she could return to her seat in peace, though. "Alright. Inuzuka Kiba."

"About time." He chuckles and saunters to the front of the class with his hands in his hoodie pockets and Akamaru half asleep atop his head. "Mind if we test Akamaru while we're at it? He can channel chakra, so he should be able to."

"Oh?" Iruka pauses and pinches his chin again. "Interesting… alright, I've got a few extra sheets." He hands one to Kiba first, who grins as it crumbles and burns.

"Interesting." Iruku kneels to inspect the remains. "Although your elements are the same as Chouji's, your proficiencies are more balanced between the two. The paper didn't crumble as finely as Chouji's did, and the flames were hotter. I'd say the ratios come down to around 3:1 for Chouji, and 3:2 for you."

"That so? Huh. Well, I'm sure I can work with it." He peeks up to Akamaru and holds a second sheet to the silent pup. He lets off a cheerful yap before biting the paper and watching it fold and crinkle. "And looks like you're lightning, bud! Hell yeah! Uh-" He stares for a moment as Akamaru takes a bite out of the paper and mumbles something in his clan's canine language. "And apparently this paper is surprisingly sweet. Huh." Snorts and laughter break out throughout the room as Kiba sighs and walks back to his seat.

"Shikamaru Nara."

The laziest ninja in the village, save for maybe Izumo and Kotetsu, AKA The Gatekeepers, makes his way to the front of the class somehow even slower than the anxiety stricken Hyuga. He picks up the paper and watches as random patches of it either burn or become damp, resulting in the two snuffing each other out after a few seconds, leaving a piece of water-warped dry paper with charred patches surrounding small holes burnt through. "Hm. So I inherited my mom's water, huh? Weird… I never took after her much. Guess this is something she'll be proud of. Troublesome…" He sighs and walks off with the paper as evidence. "She's probably gonna slave-drive me into learning a water jutsu by graduation now."

"Um…" Iruka chuckles nervously. "Ok then…" 'Great, now Yoshino's gonna be on my ass too if I don't start pushing him more in class.' He clears his throat and calls the next student down. "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn…" Sasuke squeezes his way out from between the fangirls flanking him and makes his way to the front of the class with annoyance etched into every crease in his face. "Isn't this a waste of time? My whole clan specialized in fire. That paper's just gonna burst into flames." He grabs it and freezes as the paper first folds and crumples into the most jagged patterns yet, then bursts into flames and scatters ash across the front of the class. "… What?"

"Hmm.." Iruka inspects the resulting ash. "Well, you clearly still have a strong affinity for fire, but it appears your primary element is actually lightning. You'll probably still learn fire jutsu as easily as the rest of your clan did, but lightning should still be your specialty."

".. Um… right." Sasuke sighs and shoves his hands buried in his pockets on the way back to his seat, glaring into empty space all the way.

"Ok then…" Iruka grins up into the stands. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hell yeah!" Naruto of course lacks the patience to walk, instead leaping over his desk and clean over everyone's heads, landing before his favorite teacher and grabbing the paper with enthusiasm only someone as hyperactive as himself could muster. In his endless excitement, he pumps the paper full of far too much chakra, causing it to be cut to ribbons and even cut his hands a bit in the process, then the remaining pieces crack and crumble. Silence falls as everyone takes a moment to let whatever just happened sink in. "Well…" Iruka chuckles and leans down to congratulate his adoptive little brother. "Congratulations, Naruto. You're a natural wind user, and it seems you have a decent secondary affinity for earth too!"

After a few moments of registering what just happened, Naruto cheers and leaps nearly to the ceiling. "HELL YEAH! Ya hear that Hinata-chan? I've got wind too! We're both gonna be AWESOME!" For now, all anyone can manage to do is gawk at the young blonde. In the span of a month, he'd gone from dead last and nobody to being a trap master, learning fuuinjutsu, and now having wind chakra up his sleeve. Even Kiba, who'd dropped into dead last among their group with Naruto's advancements, was starting to catch up, and had three elements at his disposal. This was the last spark most of them needed under their asses to realize they all had to kick it into high gear to not be humiliated by falling behind these two.

Hinata on the other hand is just watching her crush with the widest smile she could remember ever having plastered on her face. She's never seen him so happy, and now, she knows for certain that he not only knows she exists, but really cares.

"Hey, what about me?!" Ino bolts up from her seat. "I need my test yet!"

Iruka sighs and waves her down. "I didn't forget. Naruto's just… ignore him and walk around, he'll be at this for a while." Ino runs down to the front of the class and nearly bowls Naruto over, grabbing her test sheet and raising it to the ceiling. It crumples and folds spastically, then grows damp, breaks away from her grasp, and splats onto her face.

"So, Naruto…" The Sandaime takes a puff from his pipe, breathing out various smoke patterns into the air, altered by his chakra. "How's your training going? Kakashi told me you were successful with the Kage Bunshin over the weekend. Quite the addition to your arsenal, I must say." He chuckles softly. "And an old favorite of mine, passed onto me by my sensei, the Nidaime."

Naruto perks up and raises an brow. "The Nidaime made that? Huh… good to know. But anyway, I'm here for something bigger. Like… big enough that you may wanna seal the door."

Hiruzen narrows his eyes for a moment, but nods and uses a quick half handsign to seal and soundproof the room. "That's quite the statement, Naruto. What do you have to speak of that's so confidential?"

He smirks and crosses his arms, left foot propped up on his right knee. "Well, you might wanna know that the Kyuubi says you're one of the few people to earn his respect without making him want to eat you."

Chapter 5: Guardians

Chapter Text

Sarutobi Hiruzen rubs at the bridge of his nose, then reaches into the top left drawer of his desk, retrieving a small sample of a dried medicinal herb for his pipe. Well, many people wouldn't call it medicinal, but at his age, stress is potentially fatal. In his case, it is medicinal. "Should have done something to that furry orange bastard's tongue before Minato sealed him. So how long have you known, then?"

Naruto leans back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Hmm… three days now? It was the night Kakashi sensei taught me the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." He rolls his eyes. "Apparently, he saw chakra exhaustion as a good way to put me under and get my attention."

The old monkey lights his pipe with a quick application of fire chakra and takes a puff. "Sounds about right. That seal is a fine piece of work, the likes of which even my best student couldn't reproduce, but there's still notable flaws."

The blonde scratches his head. "Yeah, I tried studying it with a clone, but what little sealing knowledge I have so far isn't half as much as I'd need to understand even the smallest pieces of this seal. So what weaknesses do you know, then?"

"Well, let's see…" He blows out a ring a smoke, reshaping it into an Uzumaki clan spiral with pure chakra control. "Running out of your own chakra and still attempting to use more will draw from the fox's chakra as a backup source. Doing so might impair your judgement as his will seeps into your mind. Secondly, heightened states of emotion can draw upon it, namely rage, hate, potentially sorrow, or even fear. That's all a side effect of the seal's function to leak bits of its chakra into your system at a constant rate to help you acclimate to it."

"Hmmm…" Naruto pulls a notebook from his pocket and jots down a few things. "Ok… so what about not telling me for so long?" He gives the elderly leader a half-lidded, half-hearted glare.

Hiruzen falls silent for a few moments, then sighs and hangs his head. "I may be Hokage, but my power is not absolute. The fact of what you are makes you a prime target for our enemies, should news escape the village. If Iwa especially found out, you would have been dead within a few weeks. Besides that, I decided it would be best for you to grow up knowing you had a choice to become a ninja, rather than feeling it's your duty as a jinchuuriki. So, to maintain as much normalcy as possible, I forbade anyone to speak of your condition." He grumbles. "Sadly, news spread too quickly before I could make that decree, and many parents in the village were already privy to your status."

"Well, that explains a lot…" Naruto puts his book away and crosses his arms. "... goddamnit, Jiji. You really screwed the pooch on that one."

He groans and nods, burying his wrinkled face into rough, worn hands. "That I did, Naruto. It's quite possible one of the worst-kept secrets in the village. Outside it, news has yet to spread, but inside…

Naruto snorts. "I may as well wear a nametag saying 'Hello, I am the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, please stab me.'" He closes his eyes and lets it all sink in. "… Well… now that I'm in on that secret, I just have one last thing to ask you." The Hokage peeks up and props his chin on folded hands. "… Can I have express permission to test non-lethal versions of my traps on anyone who's treated me like sh*t or overcharged me for it?"

A sly grin stretches across the kage's sagging face. "I'll let the anbu know not to step in. Oh, and now that we're on to lighter topics…" He pulls a cross from his desk and tosses it. "That contains three things for you. The next volume on sealing, Yoko's ninken license, and the directions for applying the seal that identifies her as one."

Naruto looks through the scroll for a moment, then smiles and nods. "I'll get right on it, then. Thanks, Jiji!" He rushes out of the room and nearly jump down the entire flight of stairs, leaving Hiruzen behind seemingly alone.

"… You may have to speak to him sooner than you'd planned."

A sigh comes from behind him with no discernable source, until an old white-haired sage in a red vest fades into view. "Maybe. But, the real me's still two countries north in Gohangakure, weeding out that snake. He's got a couple leads to look into out east and likely to be there for a few months soon, probably until August." He chuckles a bit. "So hey, when the runt passes and gets a C rank, try and send him out that way."

Hiruzen nods. "I certainly will, if the chance arises. For now, I believe you're almost out of chakra. Best release yourself so you have enough left to get everything you just heard and said to the original."

"Yeah, I'm goin. Catch ya later, sensei." A quick pop and a puff of smoke alerts him to the disappearance of Jiraiya clone. For now, the old kage has much to think about.

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The following weekend was pure mayhem.

Ten different grocers discovered that their produce had been rigged with small explosives, splattering their halls and walls with various impromptu smoothies. Any attempts to disarm them was met with a new uniform that would match their latest fruity décor.

A few ninja tool and weapon stores would find their doors, walls, and displays all plastered with posters advertising a sale over at Higurashi Outfitters. Of course, the owners who discovered the posters immediately tried to remove them, but they were glued down rather securely. Upon attempting to use a kunai or other sharp tools to remove them, a foul-smelling gas and powder mixture would release from beneath each poster. All of those stores became too rancid for any customers to consider, and the offer of Higurashi's sale was too good to pass up. A certain bun-haired kunoichi was left wondering if she should track down this prankster and pay them for their patronage.

After Tenten had done just that and even thrown in a free set of basic tools and weapons, Naruto knew just where to take this cash. No, not Ichiraku's, as he had a much more entertaining meal in mind. A few bills in some guards' pockets, and the next day, some of Konoha's prisoners in the local station built into the cliffside north of the monument would find their meals to have an odd aftertaste, followed soon after by a constant itching in their throats and eventual diarrhea. It was such an odd coincidence that all of them happened to be former academy teachers.

And for his last trick, he decided to get a leg up on the worst group at the academy, as well as on a certain raven-haired prick's good side. The entire O.S.F.C. (Official Sasuke Fan Club) received letters informing them that a generous benefactor had discovered a 'secret training ground' that the Uchiha would be using the next day. It contained a small waterfall and stream through some relatively rocky terrain, perfect for training to handle odd-angled attacks and uneven terrain. In this case, he said the Uchiha would be testing his ability to maintain a fire jutsu against water and overpower it. Just the kind of hype that the fangirls would buy into.

When they arrived, they were treated to the sight of a shirtless Sasuke meditating beneath the waterfall. They all watched from afar for a few moments, and as soon as Naruto was certain they were all gathered, his clone changed its henge from a shirtless Sasuke to a speedo-wearing, oily, fat version of Elder Homura. This clone proceeded to dance for the girls with his tongue rolling out as they all took off screaming and gagging.

What none of the fangirls had realized was he had clones in the trees taking photos of every moment of their horrified expressions and desperate attempts to escape, which were handed off to Sasuke as payment. He cherished them for years.

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There were two particular girls out of the victims of that prank that began to wonder just how she had fallen for it. One of them was seated on a bench just outside her favorite dango shop. She always had quite the sweet tooth, but it's been ages since she's indulged, in her pursuit of a 'perfect body'. Right now, she just needed comfort food to help her think over her latest plight. Sakura knew that she had clearly been fooled by not one, but two henges, and a lie that if she'd stopped thinking about Sasuke for two seconds, she would have noticed immediately. What she received for her failure was humiliation and nightmares of that whole event for the week since. She knew well enough that it was Naruto's fault, as he was the only prankster with that sort of talent and devotion to the art in the entire village. But how had Naruto of all people been able to pull the wool over her eyes?

She already knew the answer. She was weak. She'd become weaker than him, less focused than him, and her prospects as kunoichi were dimming fast from her own perspective. She bit the last piece of dango off her stick, throwing it across the street and embedding the wooden skewer into the opposing fence.

"Not bad, kid." Sakura nearly jumps out of her introspective stupor as she raises her gaze to a woman seated just a few feet to her left. Her attire was… appalling, in her opinion. The trench coat was respectable enough, but the fact she had apparently nothing but a mesh shirt beneath it and not so much as a sports bra, let alone any bra, made it almost embarrassing to be seated by her. But, her headband stood out well enough to be certain of the woman's superiority. She bites a piece of dango off her own serving and proceeds to throw it into the fence as well, almost completing a leaf insignia made of dango sticks. For a moment, Sakura had to wonder just how she was able to eat enough dango to make that, but still keep her… admittedly impressive figure. "Somethin's got you pissed off. Good. Let that fire in your belly push you to improve."

Sakura pauses for a moment, but sighs and rubs at her left temple. "I don't even know where to start. I come from a civilian family. I can't get any clan training, and I barely even recognize my own strengths. I'm smart, but… my instincts are terrible, and I don't know a single jutsu outside the academy three."

The purple haired kunoichi leans back against the wood paneling on the store's front and crosses her arms behind her head. "Well, that's not giving me much to go off of, brat. Can't excel if you can't recognize your own skills, and just pointing out weaknesses makes you sound like a whiny bitch."

"Hey!"

"If you've got the drive to complain about that, try to change my mind."

Once again, Sakura is dumbstruck. She falls silent and takes a few moments to think over everything she remembers Iruka-sensei saying about her. "… Well, my chakra control is apparently the best in the class, and I'm a balanced water and earth chakra user, though I haven't trained in either…"

"Well, that's plenty to start with!" Anko grins and finishes her last bit of dango, finishing the center of the spiral on her makeshift Kanoha symbol with its stick. "You're lucky ya found me in a good mood, kid. I'm best friends with someone who's great with genjutsu, and she even happens to have a water affinity." She stands and stretches, nearly exposing her ample assets in the process, but somehow her coat manages to keep her legally decent. Turns out, that's actually part of a chakra control exercise she uses to keep her coat attached to her chest at all times. "She'll find you. Kind of impossible to miss that hair. Just keep an eye out for red eyes, and you won't miss her either." Anko walks off wither usual sad*stic smile. "I'm sure we'll meet again, Pinky. Kick some ass out there, prove kunoichi can kick just as much ass as the best of the boys."

Sakura could only watch in shock as she left, but soon, her eyes narrowed and her will became steel. A fire was lit in her heart the boiled her water chakra. Her inner self was already on a verbal self-aggrandizing tirade of epic proportions.

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Ino on the other hand was already hard at work. Her nose was buried deep in a neuropsychology textbook she'd taken from her father's study, agonizingly memorizing every detail she could. Beside her was another scroll on lightning chakra application theories. She didn't hear her father enter, looking for the book and scroll she had taken without permission. She didn't hear him leave either, with a smile on his face as he considered the potential his daughter has just stumbled upon. For once, her impulsiveness paid off, and he couldn't bring himself to berate her for seeking to better herself, especially in such a surprising manner as this. For some time, he had been worried about her career as a kunoichi. Now, he felt he had little to fear at all, besides whatever monstrous jutsu she would develop.

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Shikamaru sat in a meditative state on his back porch, a leaf in his hand. Any civilians to see him would just consider it his usual laziness, but Shikaku and Yoshino Nara know better. Beside him were scrolls on both fire and water chakra theory, so neither of them could be certain which element he was attempting to influence the leaf with. Would it burn to ashes in his hand, or saturate with dew and drip? There was nothing thus far, but neither of them expected any progress very soon. Elemental composition training is always a taxing process.

What neither of them knew was that he was currently sitting on the evidence of his success, one burnt leaf and one wet leaf now stuck to his ass, while he used this opportunity to nap. Shikaku suspected it, but he loved the brilliance too much to spoil it.

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The other recognized genius of the class was finding himself a bit hard of breathing. He takes a moment to test his hands, flexing them and finding them to feel the muscles beneath in motion. With it, he felt his newest hive respond with a gentle buzzing. "Settle down. I know, you are not yet acclimated to your new diets. Rest assured, you will thrive with it." He clenches his fist and feels a current run through his arm. "As will I."

Off to Shino's left, Shibi Aburame takes notes of the chakra reactions his own kikaichu are reporting. "Fascinating. With a few hundred short-lived generations, maybe as little as a year, you may even produce an entire new subspecies…"

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The Hyuuga heiress was similarly exhausted. Small cuts and chakra burns littered her hands, and the rest of her body was lightly bruised and sore in many places, but she stood over her downed foe with a confidence she could only recall ever feeling in the moment Naruto praised her for their shared wind affinity. It was this reason that she chose to experiment with this element first, but it did not come easily. And yet, the fruits of her labor now kneel before her. A Hyuuga assigned by her father as her sparring partner for the day, holding a cut on his calf. He'd never seen this attack coming. It wasn't the Jyuken. Their clan's style was far more direct, but she had ducked under a strike towards her right shoulder, around his left, spun on her toes mid-fall, and swung a strike at his calf partially composed of wind chakra.

And her father had witnessed it all with his Byakugan. The veins in his face twitched as he took in the fine details, and although he did not smile, the faintest of twitches in his lips was enough for Hinata to see not only his surprise, but pride.

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Sasuke's eyes burned with an all too familiar pride and passion. If lightning was the element he'd been handed, then he would strike like lightning itself, while the iron is still hot. If he could excel so much with fire when it was his secondary element, then he would find his grasp on lightning by the time he graduated.

It was slow-going so far. His eyes and hands burned. When he had finally gotten an electrical charge through his leaf, lighting its veins, he had overcharged it and nearly blinded himself. When the spots had cleared, he burned through the entire pile of leaves he'd collected for his training in just over an hour. Once again, his skills as a ninjutsu prodigy were proven unabashedly true.

All that was left was to scour his clan's library for his first lightning jutsu.

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Chouza Akimichi was beaming at his son across the dinner table. His appetite had been worked to an all-time high, tearing through the meal with a ravenous fervor the likes of which he hadn't seen in years, but he couldn't blame the boy at all, especially with the results they achieved. Earth was a very natural element for their family, but he was taking to it quite early. Of course, the reason for that was partly due to an odd old convention of Kanoha. The high concentration of fire aligned shinobi in this village lead to efforts to delay elemental training until students were more mature, as it tended to result in frequent fires across town, until they removed it from the academy curriculum. Now, only those that passed the academy and were awarded their headbands were usually taught to wield their elements at such an age, unless their clans or a tutor or sorts aided them.

Of course, Chouji only received the best from Chouza. If his son had the drive to learn something, he would damn well teach him. The trench dug through their back yard was testament enough to the results, and his son's motivation.

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Naruto lays back in his bed, staring up at his tiled ceiling with an almost blank stare, but the faintest of smiles on his face. Just four months ago, he was still a nobody. Now, he was almost done with the basics of sealing, he knew his elements, had learned a wonderful new jutsu, trap construction, and learned of his status as a jinchuuriki. He hadn't spoken with the fox in two months, not since his incident with the clone training, but that didn't mean he hadn't tried. For now, he'd have to settle for doting over the fox currently in his lap, petting her in silence as his gaze turned out the window to the full moon just now breaching the elevated horizon of the monument's cliffside. The sun had always been a spiritual champion of the people, but Naruto saw the moon as a symbol of what it truly meant to be a shinobi. A beacon of hope in the darkness, silent, ominous, and orbiting the world as a constant guardian. It was a clear, beautiful night, and he could see the stars shining as though the heavens themselves had come to tell him of a brighter future. "Tomorrow, Yoko." His smile grows wider, and his determination smolders, waiting to ignite in full at the first sign of a challenge. "We get our headband, and we take the world by storm."

Chapter 6: Long Awaited

Chapter Text

Kanohagakure's Shinobi Academy is a surprisingly simple place. It looks about the same as any other schoolhouse, save for the nature of the installations in the yard. Occasionally, civilians can be found loitering by the schoolyard to watch their up-and-coming guardians in action, and to get just a glimpse into the life of a shinobi that's otherwise unattainable for the untrained masses. On graduation day, this is especially true. The potential of this class had drawn out an entire crowd, to the point that some of them had started climbing trees to watch from the branches, until two green-clad walking eyesores offered to carry out a set of collapsible bleachers for them.

Before their festivities could begin though, the students inside were being briefed on the changes to the upcoming exams. Iruka, Ebisu, and the Hokage himself had painstakingly designed the new exam and selected the judges. The time had finally come to test the test.

Iruka stands before his class with pride etched into a grin that could put Naruto's to shame. In the past few months, his students had become more lively and attentive than ever, and even on a day as serious as this, it showed. Naruto kept Yoko deep in his jacket, with her head poking out beneath his chin and half asleep. When he raised an eyebrow at the lazy fox putting Akamaru and Shikamaru to shame, she stuck her tongue out at him and left it there. He couldn't help but wonder how she could sleep so peacefully with Naruto in the middle of frantically scrawling another seal while attempting to explain it to two surrounding students watching with varying degrees of fascination. Shino was his usual stoic self, but as a seasoned teacher, he could tell by Shino's repeated adjustment of his glasses that he was enrapt by the impromptu lecture. Sakura on the other hand appeared to occasionally stop Naruto and ask a few questions regarding the applications of certain radicals in the seal structure. At the moment, he seemed to be in the middle of an anecdote regarding some accidents he had with sealing various liquids without containers when using a simple water seal. Considering what he had heard through the grapevine of Sakura's training, he had no doubt she was asking for the sake of mediums and shortcuts to her new jutsu.

Nearby, Sasuke seemed to be repeatedly charging a leaf he's pinned to the table with one finger full of lightning chakra, causing it to twitch and crinkle. In his right hand, he holds a textbook on neurology. Ino appears to be stealing glances at it occasionally, seeming wary of Sasuke's two choices of study, but not disapproving. Surprisingly, Ino happened to have several leaves stuck to various parts of her body, attached purely by chakra. Hinata provides a few pointers in regards to channeling chakra to places besides the hands, mouth, and feet, something many shinobi are very unfamiliar with. Although, Iruka isn't so sure Hinata should be familiar with this so soon either. As best he recalls, he's never seen a Hyuga use Kaiten before reaching Chuunin.

Kiba in the meantime was leaning back in his seat with his feet up on the desk, bragging away to Chouji about some hunting tactics he's developed, which the portly young man appraised, while Shikamaru just behind Kiba would criticize and evaluate, much to Kiba's chagrin. As he listened, Chouji was digging into a hot, steaming bowl of miso soup, but… how did it get so hot in the middle of a classroom without a microwave or oven anywhere nearby? Shikamaru of course was just as disinterested as usual, but his hands were bandaged, and a few burns were still visible on his fingertips every time he raised his arms.

Iruka already knew they would all pass with flying colors. He was certain of it. This generation of shinobi would be the most promising and capable since the Shodaime's era.

But today is the first step. It's his job to make sure they can take the leap into active duty.

"Alright!" Iruka calls out, silencing the room. "There's a change of plans for today's exam. Recently, the entire exam was rebuilt from the ground up. Rather than requiring a certain proficiency in each area, we will be grading your skills in all areas based on level of proficiency compared to active duty shinobi. Those collective skill grades will then be combined to see your official skill rating compared to active genin and records of prior students. So…." He stomps on a particular floorboard and triggers the opening of a door to the schoolyard. "We'll be starting with a new obstacle course meant to test your agility, reflexes, speed, and observational skills all in one go. Step out and line up in alphabetical order at the start of the course."

Naruto chuckles and rolls his scroll back up, then jostles Yoko awake as he stands. Nobody's surprised to see him leading the way out, but Shino is close behind to take his spot at the front of the line. Outside the door, they all see a wall erected between them and the course, with a single curtained doorway on the far side. "Hmm.." Shino muses aloud with a smirk hidden beneath his collar. "Keeping us blind to the course. We must improvise rather than strategize. Not quite my forte, but certainly a boon to any shinobi worth their meddle. Color me impressed, Iruka-sensei." He rushes through the curtain, and all students back in the line can hear the cheers of the audience among the whirring, swinging, and snapping of various traps and machines.

Naruto peeks down to Yoko and whispers something to her, but the Inuzaka ahead of him hears the exchange well enough to decide to one-up him. The moment Kiba's called to the door, Akamaru jumps down from atop his head and stands beside him. "Ready, partner? Let's show them what a real shinobi can do…" The pup beside him yips and shifts into a sprinting stance. The moment Iruka says 'hajime', he's off.

The first thing he sees on the other side of the door is a tarpit trap. He and Akamaru leap clean over it with ease, not even needing the rafters placed above to clear it. He could tell at a glance that one of them was false and would fall right into the tar once he put his weight on it anyway. Once across the tarpit, the floor was apparently dusted with something quite slippery, possibly a lot of chalk dust, forcing him to slide towards a series of spinning posts and swinging bars of various lengths at him. He ducks low and under the first, then jumps into a low aerial roll parallel to the ground to slip between the next two. He thrusts his right foot into the ground to push himself over the last set of them, flipping over it and landing on his hands on the other side. He then kicks Akamaru up and over the wall ahead of them, before pushing off the ground and vaulting over it himself. On the other side of the wall, he finds himself falling towards another much smaller tarpit trap. He and Akamaru kick off the wall they just leapt over to propel themselves over it, then roll under a door closing on the other side. As it closes, he can see that there was another route over the now closed door that would have taken him another five seconds to get through a series of hanging platforms and branches. He scoff and walks across the finish line with a grin. "Best time yet, right?"

The three judges off to the side of the track nod, one very eager Nara Yoshino raising a card with a 10 on it. The violette kunoichi beside her levels an unenthused stare at her before giving Kiba a thumbs-up, while choosing to ignore the young man's attention being drawn to her less than decent attire. Ebisu adjusts his shades and makes a few notes on his grading sheet, remaining silent and professional.

The various other attempts are mostly impressive, but none quite compared to Kiba's. His combination of reflex, instinct, speed, and strength, is the perfect setup for a gauntlet of that nature. Shino took it almost leisurely, but with fine control of his actions, struggling most with the second tar pit past the wall and having to hang from the top of it for a moment. Chouji was the second slowest, but he managed to prove his strength by getting clean over both the pits without having to use the climbing mechanisms and lacking Kiba's aerial expertise. Ino ended up being third slowest, but her acrobatics through the rafters were clearly showing off a bit. Hinata on the other hand didn't need to show off, those motions were natural and faster to her. Sakura was a bit faster than Ino, but was nearly hit during the second stage. Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata were the only ones besides Kiba fast to get through the gate before it closed and not have to take the overhead route, although ironically, Naruto took the overhead route instead of the gate, with Yoko taking the low path through the gate as it closed. Shikamaru of course took it easy and completed it at as casually as possible, and managed to show off his chakra control by already getting over the wall with the wall walking technique, although the judges had noticed a few others using it more subtly in the midst of faster and more practical traversal.

As soon as Ino steps across the finish line, panting softly and glaring at the sad*st in the judge's box, Iruka directs them all to the series of targets set up ahead of them. There's twenty targets in total, some at odd angles, and a few on tracks to keep the in motion. "Alright, students. I'm sure you're all astute enough to get the gist of this one. So, everyone line up to throw!"

Hinata smirks as she takes up her tools. Ever since taking up her wind and water chakra training, she's found it far easier to use these tools, and only getting easier. She peeks ahead to the front of the line and finds Shino getting sneaky with applying a few kikaichu to each kunai and using them to course correct mid-flight, earning himself far better scores than earlier in the year. His bugs weren't perfect, but they narrowed his margin of error considerably enough. Chouji had some of the worst aim there, but his kunai were buried a bit deeper. No performances really stood out until Hinata began to fling her kunai and shuriken in rapid succession, her aim near flawless, only managing to miss the bullseye on two of the moving targets. Kiba and Shikamaru haven't improved much in this field, although Shika's aim was never bad to begin with. Naruto's improved a bit, Sasuke excels as always, but oddly enough, Ino gets marks that almost catch up to the doujutsu heirs.

With the last few results jotted down, Iruka nods and waves everyone back inside. "Ok, time for the written test, then a surprise final round of the exam. So far, I'm expecting most of you will have no problems passing."

Naruto smirks as he leads the way back in, knowing everyone's watching his back. He had always excelled more in the physical aspects of being a shinobi, so they knew he'd do well enough in this part, but none of them knew what to expect of his intellectual grade. Of course, none of them knew of a little binge-reading trick he learned. Clones make learning so much fun.

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"So… what do you think of them now?" At the back of the civilian crowd that had been watching the students through this phase of the exam, now beginning to split up, two henged shinobi discuss the results in the shade of a tree. One's voice is aged and stern, and the other, smooth and casual.

"Well…" The casual one chuckles to himself. "The trend of setting the rookie and the dead last on the same team will have to be broken. There are no dead-lasts here. I still intend to have the previous suspected team under my wing, though. Considering how quickly Naruto is growing… I say we should be a bit more honest with him. He knows about the fox already, and he's stayed silent on the matter and taken it in stride. He already has his father's book. It's only a matter of time before he starts piecing it together himself at this rate."

The elder nods and lights a cigarette with fire chakra from his thumb. "Maybe… I have plans to have him meet Jiraiya as soon as he can receive a C rank mission outside the village. If you are indeed his sensei, you will be present for it. The sensei, the student, and the son all together. I wish I could be there to witness it."

"You could always send a clone."

"… Why the hell didn't I think of that?"

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Shikamaru had been asleep at his desk less than a third of the way into their allotted time for the written test. Of course, nobody was surprised by this in the slightest. Soon after followed Sakura, Shino, and Ino. Hinata and Sasuke completed it just past the halfway mark, and Naruto happened to finish about ten minutes before Kiba, and almost at the same time as Chouji. The moment it was completed, and ahead of schedule to Iruka's surprise, he gathered them and stood beside the door to the hallway. "Excellent work, everyone! Now, while these are graded, we'll move on to the final portion of the exam. This time, rather than testing the basic three academy jutsu, we'll be performing mock battles. You all will be challenged by assigned chuunin to test your combat capabilities and rate you accordingly. These battles will be in enclosed, uniform spaces prepared in a training ground nearby. You'll report to your assigned room, and the battle will begin. You may all bring whatever tools you wish, and you have one hour to gather your supplies and report back to training ground 24 for the final exam. Dismissed!"

"Hai!" A few students break off from their seats and split up to prepare. Naruto lounges back in his seat and peeks over to Shikamaru, who has… gone back to sleep already. Hinata on the other hand appears to be fidgeting slightly in her seat. Even for someone as oblivious as Naruto, her anxiety is as clear as day. He has no hesitation in getting up and climbing the stairs to her seat. "What's got you so worried, Hinata?"

"Eep!" The shyest of Hyugas buries herself deeper into her jacket, attempting to disappear into fur-lined hood. "… I… I-I just… don't know if I can c-c-cut it in a real f-fight…"

".. Bullsh*t."

Hinata blanches and stammers for a moment. "W-W-what?.."

Naruto crosses his arms and glares at nobody in particular. "You're just… yeah, you're really kind, and kinda quiet, but you have some of the best grades in the class, you're the best fighter among any of the girls, you have great aim, and you have awesome elements! I'm sure you'll be great in a real fight! You just gotta find something to drive you to give it your all, ya know? Something that gets you fired up!"

Hinata stares in slack-jawed awe through his entire rant, then blushes down to her shoulders as she looks away. "W-Well, um.. m-maybe! I-I guess I just need to t-think about w-what that is…"

Naruto flashes his signature ear to ear grin. "I'm sure you'll figure it out! You probably already know, ya just gotta let it hit you at the right time."

Off to the side, Shika groans quietly and twitches. Really, Naruto? How are you so damn oblivious?

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The time had finally come. Naruto wandered along the walls of a wooden structure erected in the middle of training ground 24. The wood was unpainted and plain, but somehow seemed to still be alive, despite its unnatural shape. Eventually, he stops at door 9, finding that a bit ironic. Maybe it's on purpose. Either way, he knew his final roadblack between the academy and his headband stood just beyond it. As directed, he pushed the door open and wandered into a very dimly lit room. Inside, he finds the silhouette of a single man standing across from him. He cracks his knuckles and scoffs. "So, you ready to get your ass beat?"

A shockingly familiar voice muses back to him. "Beat my ass, huh? Yeah… if hadn't trained so much for this, maybe you could have." The lights flicker on overhead, and the smiling face of his favorite sensei greets him. "But I've been working on polishing my skills for this day, Naruto. You deserve no less than my best."

Naruto gapes and stumbles. "I-Iruka-sensei? You're really my opponent?" At first, Iruka raises a brow and tilts his head at his student's reaction, worried about his willingness to risk harm to someone to precious to him. That is, until Naruto's face is consumed in an almost sad*stic, confident grin. "… I didn't know I wanted to fight you so bad until it hit me just now. I wanna see just what you've got, sensei! And how I measure up!"

Iruka matches his favorite student's smile and draws one of the blunted kunai. "Good! But before we start this… I have a request."

"Hm?" Naruto slowly shifts into a combat stance. "What would that be?"

"… Don't hold anything back… and whoever loses must accept an undeniable command, as long as it's not illegal or immoral."

"… Iruka-sensei… you're even cooler than I thought. You're on!" He rushes in to strike, taking his classic head-strong frontal approach from his earliest academy days. Iruka sighs and lowers his crossed arms, then swings a kick for Naruto's jaw as he closes in. Suddenly, Naruto's speed doubles and he rushes past the kick for a clean punch to Iruka's ribs. He cringes and ducks back, hand-standing and swinging both legs up into Naruto to force him off. In doing so, Yoko is thrown from his jacket, and lands on Iruka's left leg, clawing and gnawing at it.

"GAH!" Iruka quickly flips back and drives his captured shin into the floor, forcing a yelp out of the fox and loosening her grip, allowing him to roll aside and kick her off just as Naruto comes down to stomp at the same spot in his ribs where he'd taken that first punch. Once up, he backflips away and inspects his leg wounds. "That… was pretty good. I didn't expect you to be that fast. I-It was like you started with training weights on…. Gravity seals, right?"

Naruto chuckles and hops around a bit to test himself. "Yep! Took me a while to get em down. Figured you'd get it quickly, considering you saw me writing them in class… and failing. Upside is, I figured out how I screwed it up to dent the desk when I made it, then found a new use for them!"

Iruka blanches at that. "…. You've got to be sh*tting me." He groans and uprights himself. "Fine then. I'll have to use more than the basics." He ducks Yoko's attempt at leaping onto his head from behind, then grabs her as she passes and flings her towards Naruto as he approaches, forcing him to catch her. As she flies, he cycles through the ryuu, tora, and u handsigns. "Suiton: Mizureppa!" He unleashes a powerful water stream from his mouth, blasting them both and forcing them to skid back, with Yoko taking the brunt of the blast. As it ends, Naruto huffs, drops the fox- and it bursts into smoke. His eyes widen as the smoke fills the room. "A-A fox shaped smoke bomb?! What the hell? How did you even teach her the Kawarimi?"

"Oh, I didn't." He chuckles as the room is filled with the sound of various smoky explosions. Iruka's eyes narrow as he detects exactly what's waiting for him in the smoke. "Remember, I trained with the Inuzaka. I learned to walk like a fox, act like a fox, and think like a fox. That was never Yoko." As the smoke clears, Iruka finds himself surrounded by fifty clones, one of them towards the front wearing a sh*t-eating grin, as Yoko pokes her head out from the back of his jacket, over his shoulder. "You were always good at picking up on my henges, but ya never expected me to henge into myself with a passenger, did ya? All I had to do was make a clone behind me while Yoko had you distracted with your leg. When ya kicked her aside, I replaced her with a clone henged into her, and henged the two of us to hide the hunchback in my jacket!"

Iruka stares, bewildered, but sighs and closes his eyes. "Not bad, Naruto. I guess it's a good thing I learned this one, then." Just as the clones rush him, he begins to duck and weave between them, apparently not needing to see them to detect where they are. It's taxing, but he knows this won't be a drawn-out battle either way. Naruto's already proven himself, but this is personal now. He ducks the first few clones as their uncoordinated attacks run into each other and they disperse themselves. As his hands work on new handsigns, his left leg lunges out to catch two clones who attempt to attack low. A tenth of them are already down, and two more soon follow as he jumps into a scissor kick. Upon landing, he finishes a set of tora, u, inu, ushi, and uma. "Suiton…" He slams his hands into the floor. "Rajairu Mizureppa!" A blast of pressurized water shoots out in all directions, catching most of the clones, missing only four who were just far enough to leap out of range, and popping them all. Yoko had been stalking about among them to approach and took a hit as well, leaving her limping about at the edge of the jutsu's radius.

But Naruto is nowhere to be seen. Iruka hums and muses to himself as he wonders where the boy could be. "Hmmm… let me see…" He turns and lings shuriken into all the remaining clones, then throws a kunai into a nearby wall, forcing Naruto to leap out from behind the genjutsu-camouflaged tarp. He knew Naruto couldn't have learned the genjutsu for the professional version of that, or had prep time to mimic that specific wall, so… "You have seals on the other side of that one that make it blend in automatically, don't you?"

"Yep." Naruto chuckles, seeming a bit winded. "That'd be right. That took me over a month to figure out once I got the idea."

Iruka pants and smirks. "You never cease to amaze, Naruto. Alright… one last round. This is where it ends!" He takes the offensive this time, charging Naruto far faster than he had expected, exceeding his own speed once the seals were turned off. He feigns running to Naruto's left for a moment, but follows it up with a leap and a spin kick to the back of Naruto's head. When he manages to barely block in time, he kicks off Naruto's forearm and backflips, forcing the student to the ground with the force of his kick. Once in the air, he fires another Mizureppa at Yoko as she attempts to approach. Back on his feet, he charges Naruto as he scrambles to his feet, but Iruka releases a second water jutsu at Naruto's feet. "Suiton: TsuruTsuru Hedoro!" He'd have to thank Izumo for the pointers on this one. The slime slipped Naruto up and kept him off his feet, allowing Iruka to close the gap and hold his kunai to his student's throat. "Heh… good work, Naruto. But as usual, you bit off a bit more than you can chew."

Naruto's slack-jawed stare maintains silence between them for a few moments, until he can manage to gather his thoughts and smile. "I always knew you were awesome, sensei. I may have lost, but I'm glad I finally got to see just how awesome you really are away from that desk."

Iruka smiles and stashes his kunai, then offers Naruto a hand and helps him to his feet. He slips for a few moments until he's pulled out of the slime patch. "You did incredibly yourself, Naruto. You didn't have to win this fight to pass, ya know. You just had to prove your skills, and you did that in spades. You may have lost the battle… but you earned your headband."

Naruto's eyes widen, his gaped mouth soon arching into the widest smile of his life. "I-I passed?! I'm a ninja?!"

Iruka crouches to his level and nods. "You did it, Naruto." He reaches to the back of his head and unties his headband, offering it to him. "And honestly, I want you to have this one."

Naruto's emotional roller coaster drops to another awe-induced low. "W-What?... But…" He laughs softly. "… I was gonna ask for that as my reward for the bet if I won."

"I know." Iruka grins. "And for my reward for the bet… I want you to move in with me."

Naruto stumbles back in shock for a moment, nearly dropping the headband. "W-Wait... you… y-you really want me to do that?"

He nods somberly, his smile fading into one far gentler, but genuine. "… I should have asked a long time ago… but you were my student. I couldn't. Too much favoritism. But now… as a graduate… we've waited too long as it is, Naruto. If you want… I can even have Hokage-sama prepare some adoption papers." Silence falls as Naruto struggles with that concept. He'd never had a family before. He'd never known anyone to truly love him. Now, he doesn't know how to react…. But he knows he needs it more than he could ever say. Without a word, he rushes into Iruka's arms holds onto him for dear life, fighting back tears of joy. Iruka gently rubs his back and gives him time to calm down. "… When you're ready, we'll collect your things and head home… son."

Naruto nods eagerly, pulling back just enough to rub the tears off his face and look up to him. "L-Let's go h-home…"

Iruka sighs in relief as he stands, mentally praising himself for thinking ahead and talking to the Hokage about this ahead of time. As a result, the old man handled some of the first payment on the new two-bedroom apartment, and started forwarding Naruto's living expenses he'd managed for his prior apartment to Iruka's account. They both knew Naruto would leap at this opportunity. It wasn't even a slight gamble.

As they leave, Anko watches through the one-way glass on the far end of the arena with a smile plastered on her face as well. "Huh… a better fighter than I thought, a looker, and a family man…"

Ebisu looks to her and stares blankly. "… You better not make him too twisted. We need him."

Chapter 7: Family, Friends, and f*ckery

Chapter Text

Naruto wakes to find himself staring at an unfamiliar faded teal ceiling. Yoko's rhythmic breathing against his side keeps him calm and grounded long enough to recall the events of the previous evening. Tears almost instantly came to his eyes. It hadn't been a dream. He actually has a real home now.

After the exam, he and Iruka had gone back to Naruto's apartment to pick up all his things. It only took about five minutes to pack, as Naruto really didn't own much, and they didn't need to bring any of the furniture. That, and Naruto's sealing scrolls made quick work of it. After seeing just how sparse Naruto's wardrobe was, they took a quick trip to get him a new one and a new set of professional kunai, shuriken, and other odds and ends. After that was of course an obligatory stop at Ichiraku's to celebrate before returning home.

Unbeknownst to Naruto, Iruka didn't live here long. When he proposed adopting Naruto to the Hokage, the aging philanthropist offered to give them both Minato and Kushina's old apartment. For now, Iruka only knew this was once Naruto's parents' place, but was not informed of their identities. He knew already, of course. The sly grin he gave Hiruzen made that clear enough without need for words. Iruka knew Kushina and Minato well enough. Not as well as Kakashi, but enough to put the pieces together.

The remainder of their night was spent helping Naruto to set his new bedroom up, and a few hours in the livingroom, chatting late into the night and eagerly discussing training and some of Iruka's more interesting experiences on the field before he became a teacher. A few of those stories even inspired a few more seal and trap designs, some of which left Iruka shivering at the thought of the nightmares he just helped to create.

When it was finally time for Naruto to sleep, he'd passed out within a few minutes with a genuine smile still plastered on his face. Now waking to find it hadn't just been one of the many sweet dreams that have taunted him with the idea of a family and a home only to rip it away, Naruto couldn't possibly be more grateful.

At least, he thought so until he smelt bacon.

He kicked at the air and sprung straight to his feet, only to get tangled in his blanket and trip. He remains faceplanted on the carpet for a few moments until Yoko licks his face. "… Yes, good morning, Yoko. Go to-" He pauses for a moment. "… Go to dad. I'll catch up in a minute." That word… It's still so foreign, but so right. After hearing Yoko trot out of the room, he takes his time untangling himself, then stumbles out to the dining room in his pinstripe pajamas. If only he could have known the world changing moment that took place here, the simple decision made right where he stands that determined so much of his life. For now though, all that mattered to him was the man he now called his father, and his scarred face grinning down to him from beside the table as he dished out a homecooked breakfast.

"Good morning, Naruto. Hope you slept we-" The wind is nearly knocked out of him by another of Naruto's rare, but overpowering hugs. He stares for a moment, but sighs and smiles, kneeling own to hug him in return. He knows better than to speak and ruin this moment. Yoko steps up and circles around them, rubbing against their legs, and providing the last bit of comfort Naruto needs to feel like he's truly home. For the first time in his life… he's home.

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Naruto's attachment to orange was, oddly enough, a fluke caused by his condition as a jinchuuriki and the town's reaction. It was difficult for him to get affordable clothes, so for something durable enough to withstand his training, he had to pick the cheapest option. Of course, it ended up being his "kill me" orange jumpsuit. He got attached to it pretty fast, learning to love the color and adapt it as a part of his personality. It's bold, it's confident, and it's rare to see anyone wearing it for anything but work-risk-related reasons.

Thankfully, Iruka managed to convince Naruto to take up an outfit that uses it far less predominantly.

Naruto stands in front of the mirror to inspect himself. His jacket's been replaced with a deep gray hoodie with burnt orange on the hem, wrists, down the middle along the zipper, and on the entire inner lining. The inside is full of dozens of pockets to easily stash scrolls over scrolls and various extra tools if the pouch on his lower back is compromised. He tops it off with khaki cargo pants, providing him with yet more pockets. His sandals are swapped for similar boots for the sake of the closed toes and stronger soles. As he's inspecting himself, Yoko leaps up into his hood and curls up there. Naruto rolls his eyes and checks that the Uzumaki symbol on his shoulder is still in place, embroidered in his new burnt orange. He knows a larger version of the same is on his back, but Yoko making his hood sag has certainly obscured it. He takes a moment to adjust his headband, then steps out of his room and off to the livingroom. It's empty now, as Iruka's already left ahead of time to speak with the Hokage and get some paperwork done before the team assignments.

Yet another huge change in his life. He knew it was coming, and has for a long time, but it's still so surreal, standing in a livingroom of what's just now become his home, missing the presence of a man he now calls dad, about to go to his last day at the academy. It feels like his entire life has flipped in an instant, and only now is it really sinking in.

But, he doesn't have time to waste thinking about it now. He double checks his pockets and locks up on his way out, stepping out through the eastern shopping district towards the academy. He shoves his hands in his pockets and struggles not to laugh as Yoko pokes her head out and sniffs at his ear, tickling him.

"Hey, Naruto!" He turns to face a familiar bun-haired kunoichi racing up to him. "Wow, that's…" Tenten stumbles to a stop and stares at him for a moment. "... That's a huge improvement. That old orange getup was the second biggest eyesore in town."

"Second only to Gai's green spandex, I know" He sighs and tilts his head aside as Yoko pops out to greet her.

"Oh, hello Yoko!" She coos over the fox and scratches under her chin. She gladly accepts and closes her eyes to fully appreciate it. "So, you two headed to team assignments?"

Naruto grins wildly and punches into his left hand. "Can't wait to show my sensei just what kind of monster he got on his team. I'm gonna blow his mind. And probably blow him up a few times."

Tenten rolls her eyes. "Speaking of which, the shop's running low on exploding tags, and there aren't many in town that know how to make good ones. Can you maybe contribute a few?"

He pauses and thinks that over. "Maybe… One condition, though. You guys provide the ink and paper for the job, and I'll make as many as ya like, in return for a permanent discount."

"Deal!" She grins and pumps her fist into the air. "When can you start?" She's then surrounded by blasts of smoke, fading to reveal ten clones surrounding her. "… O-Oh. Right. Ok, immediately, then." She laughs nervously. "Just follow me back to the store, then. Thanks, Naruto!" She's assailed by a round of simultaneous 'You're welcome's in stereo. He knows how eerie that is to someone not accustomed to this jutsu, right? sh*t, he probably doesn't.

"R-Right... well, g-good luck with your team!" She hurries back to the store and waves for the clones to follow, leaving Naruto to make the rest of the walk to the academy in silence. Upon arriving to his classroom, all eyes fall upon him in a matter of seconds.

"… What?"

"Holy sh*t, he actually did it." Ino stares across the room at him as she slowly rises from her seat. "You actually got rid of the jumpsuit from hell. You actually look like a sane, functional human being for once!"

Naruto scowls, and oddly enough, Yoko pokes her head out beside his to join him. "Yeah, I've gotten enough of that already."

"Eeeeh…" Iruka rubs the back of his neck. "Well… they have a point, Naruto."

"Damnit, you just adopted me, and you already betray me?"

"Adopted?" Kiba peeks up for a moment, blinking in silence as that sets in. "… Damn, man. Congrats! Heh, and my mom was considering doing it herself after all that training ya did with us." He raises a thumb to Iruka. "Good on ya, teach'."

While everyone else takes their turns congratulating the two and turning them red, Sasuke just… stares. He doesn't really hate Naruto anymore. He wouldn't say he likes the blonde nutjob, but he respects him. Now though, all he can feel is a sense of loss and loneliness he thought he'd left behind him years ago. All these years, and he still living alone in the Uchiha compound. He thought he'd always have that in common with Naruto. With that gone, he just doesn't know what to think of him now. He wants to be happy for him, but… he can't.

"Alright, settle down everyone." Iruka waves his students back to their seats, and Naruto follows suit. "To begin, I would like to congratulate all of you for graduating and moving into your careers as shinobi of Konoha!" A round of cheers erupts throughout the room. He lets it peter out before continuing. "Normally, I would tell you all to not take this as permission to slack and become complacent with your current talents. With this class, I don't believe I have to." He grins. "I've watched you all grow from greenhorned runts to living evidence of a bright future for our village. Your talents and demeanors command my attention more than the last few rounds of Chuunin exams, and your potential is beyond what I ever could have expected. I'm sure all of you fully intend to take paths least traveled and forge your own ways to greatness. I hope to see all of you surpass me in the years to come, as now, I have nothing left to teach you." He bows to them, and in return, his students bow to him. Once he's raised himself upright again, he picks a clipboard off his desk and waves it at the graduates. "As such, it's time to meet your new sensei. So, pay close attention for your name, and try to gather with your team once you've heard it." He clears his throat and gets to the list, and for now, many of them mentally check out and think about the road ahead until their names bring them to attention.

"Team 7 is… Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto perks up and nearly leans over his desk. "Haruno Sakura." Sakura's brow furls, but nobody can be certain exactly why. "and Uchiha Sasuke." Three of them look to one another with a combination of apprehension and curiosity. Months ago, Sakura would have squealed, Sasuke would have barely reacted, and Naruto would have cheered over being with Sakura before lamenting the Uchiha. Since then, Sakura was thoroughly pranked but driven to take her career more seriously, Naruto stopped fawning over her or hating Sasuke on principal, and Sasuke warmed up to the blonde thanks to those blackmail photos, not to mention no longer hating Sakura's recently abandoned fangirl tendencies. They stand on neutral ground. Not a strong foundation, but one with a lot of potential. "Your sensei is Hatake Kakashi." And this piqued Naruto's interest. So the scarecrow's picked him again, huh? This should be fun.

"Team 8 is Hyuuga Hinata…" The heiress raises her head and almost activates her Byakugan with her sheer focus on this moment. "Inuzuka Kiba." The pup and his partner nearly howl as they hop out of their seats, raring to go. After all the pack hunting tactics they've been developing, they can already see exactly what the logic of this team is with only two units. And that would mean the last one is… "and Aburame Shino." Shino pushes his glasses up and his internal hives buzz to life as they feed off the adrenaline rush in his system. "Your sensei is Yuhi Kurenai." Hinata perks up and sighs in relief. "Nai-neesan. Thank the sage…"

"Team 9 is still in circulation under Maito Gai. Moving on to Team 10, we have Nara Shikamaru-"

The Brainiac raises his head from his desk and cuts him off. "Akamichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino, we get it. This team was kind of predictable."

Ino chuckles nervously, her left eyebrow twitching. "Yeeeaah, but Shika? Ya didn't have to spoil it like that."

Chouji shrugs as he finishes off his bag of chips. "I saw it coming. He's been kinda touchy lately."

Iruka nods and barely squeaks out some quiet, nervous laughter. Anyone would be if they had Yoshino training them, let alone as a parent. He coughs and composes himself. "W-Well, your sensei is Sarutobi Asuma. I'm sure you won't have any issues with him, Shikamaru. So, now that teams are decided, you should all wait here for your sensei to arrive."

That said, the students break away from their seats and gather with their new teammates. Naruto fistbumps Shikamaru as he passes and gives Hinata a kind and simple smile, which nearly causes her turn red in an instant. Dropping into a seat between Sasuke and Sakura, he props his feet up on the desk and smirks. "So, what do you two think?"

Sakura bites her lip and crosses her arms. "Well, our team's versatile. My genjutsu and potential as a medic once I meet a good teacher for it, your sealing and general unpredictability, not to mention Yoko…" The kit pops her head out of Naruto's hood and yips at her, immediately receiving a light petting on her head. "And Sasuke's a ninjutsu prodigy. We're practically designed to be an all-purpose team with little to no overlap on talents. We have one raw strategy team and one tracking team, so it makes sense to have a more balanced one like us."

"Well said." Sasuke leans over his head, chin propped up on laced fingers. "We just have to hope our sensei is competent enough to handle our range of talents. Otherwise, I don't see us having any strict weaknesses. With Yoko, we even have some tracking potential." She yips again, and Sasuke smirks over to her. "Yes, you're a critical team member too. Maybe more so than Naruto."

"Hey!" The blonde scowls, but by the twitching at the corner of his mouth, it's obviously forced. He's just glad to see Sasuke throwing jokes, if a bit condescending still. Yoko on the other hand turns her nose up and hops out of Naruto's hood, bounding across desks to the back. They soon hear Hinata mumbling in the usual cutesy voice to the kit and doting over her. Naruto just rolls his eyes and smiles softly, leaving them be for now. "So, now the only problem is that our sensei is Kakashi. I've worked with the guy before, and lemme tell ya, real piece of work."

Sakura raises an eyebrow at that, planting her elbow on her desk and propping her cheek on her fist. "What do ya mean by that?"

"He's always late for everything and reads those perverted Icha Icha books constantly, even in public."

Sakura cringes, and her right eye begins to twitch. "Sasuke, you know fire jutsu, right?"

"Burn the books, got it."

"Team Eight!" A woman with deep red eyes and flowing, luscious black hair calls from the door. If not for the lack of tomoe in her eyes, Sasuke could have sworn he was looking at someone of his own clan. Maybe there's some kind of distant relation? Not implausible. Her sense of fashion is a little flashier than his clan ever had, though. That dress almost looks like it's made of bandages. Hinata nearly runs down the stairs to meet with her sensei, with Kiba right behind her and Shino taking his time. As Hinata passes, Yoko leaps from her arms and back onto the desk in front of Team 7.

"Team Ten?" A darker-skinned, bearded man in the usual navy shinobi attire and green flack jacket steps in with his hands deep in his pockets, giving Kurenai a bit more than a passing glance as she leaves with her team. Ino's the first to nearly leap down the stairs, and Shikamaru of course trails behind, dragging his feet. For the next ten minutes, everyone leaves team by team, until only Team Seven remains. Iruka left in the midst of it all to finish up the last of the paperwork for this class, grinning at the thought of that hell Kakashi's tardiness will bring him now.

"… Almost two hours now. f*ck it." Naruto stands and digs into the scrolls in his pockets. "This scarecrow's earned the role of test dummy now."

"Are you sure that's smart, Naruto?" Sakura places her hands on her hips and watches Naruto's preparations closely. She doesn't approve, but she's certainly curious…

"He knows I'm on this team. He knows I'm impatient. He brought this on himself." He unfurls a scroll and starts low, quiet maniacal laughter as he writes out the seal for this morning's mischief.

Ten minutes later, Kakashi opens the classroom door to find a small waterfall of cooking oil falling on his head, only to be soaked up by another seal on the floor beneath him. By the end, the only remaining oil was soaked into Kakashi's hair and clothes. "… I'll admit, this is a new one. Impressive work, Naruto."

The blonde grins from his back-tilted chair, feet propped up on the desk again. "I do my best. Be glad it wasn't the version stocked by Yoko's litterbox."

Kakashi shudders at the thought of that. "Well then. I need to try and wash this out and get some replacement clothes. I'll meet you all on the roof in ten minutes." That said, he makes a half tora handsign and disappears in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke stares for a moment, then shakes his head. And pushes himself up. "Let's go then. By the way, Naruto, can you make a version of that with a more flammable oil?"

His first response is one of Naruto's widest grins. "Who says I don't already have that designed? Getting good oil for that's a little tougher on my budget, though."

By the time they reach the roof, ahead of time actually, Kakashi's already cleaned and proper, seated and awaiting them as he reads his usual Icha Icha. He waves them to the seats, and only puts the book away once they've all gathered. "Well, I suppose we should start with introductions. Naruto already knows me at least a bit, so I guess I won't hold back. My name is Hatake Kakashi, former anbu, one of Konoha's foremost elite jonin, former student of the Yondaime, and veteran of the third war. I enjoy clear breezy nights, light reading to break up a mission, and miso soup. I don't care for sweet foods, can't stand the arrogant and the stupid, and despite loving to read, I've never been too fond of fantasy novels. As for dreams, well, I suppose I haven't had any specific ones in some time. I hope you brats can change that." He waves to Naruto. "You're up, blondie."

Naruto smirks and leans back as he pets the napping fox in his lap. "You already know the name, and I intend to make sure the rest of the world knows Uzumaki Naruto. I enjoy tending to my garden, training with friends to learn new tricks, and Ichiraku ramen, AKA food of the gods. I dislike people who hate what they don't understand, my former landlord, and when my pranks and traps fail. Especially when the failure is in testing and blows up in my face. My dream, as you all know already, is to be Hokage, and protect everyone precious to me in this village." He turns to look at Sakura, and she shrugs accepts the metaphorical podium.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. I enjoy watching storms, the occasional movie marathon on days off, and subtle sweets like umeboshi. I dislike spicy foods, I'm no good at cooking, and I hate the cluelessly obsessed…" She groans and rubs her temples. ".. and helping Kurenai-sensei reign Anko in." Kakashi nearly chuckles at that. "My dream…" She hunches and stares at nothing, but there's an iron will in that stare. "My dream is to prove myself a grand, world-class kunoichi. To prove I'm better than the mess I was before."

Sasuke watches her with what appears to be mild interest, more as though she's all there is to watch, but that's almost akin to rapt attention from him. He huffs and closes his eyes. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I enjoy long training sessions and meandering walks through town in the dark to wind down from them, and ripe tomatoes, especially from my clan compound's garden. I can't stand loud, frenetic music, never cared much for sweets either, and all my fangirls in town are the bane of my existence. As consequence though, one of my most cherished possessions is the collection of photos Naruto took of them all running in fear and disgust from one of Naruto's pranks." He manages to smile a bit as he recalls the photos still sitting on his desk back home. "As for dreams… not really a luxury I've had much of. Closest I have to a dream is being rid of all my fangirls for good, somehow, but that's an impossible one apparently. Besides that, I have an ambition to enact justice for my clan and end a certain sick bastard's life…"

While Naruto and Sakura are taken aback by Sasuke's grim tone at the end, Kakashi is hopeful. Justice rather than just killing him or vengeance. Seems those therapy sessions with Inouichi's student are going well. He has to strain not to smile at them. It's been so long since he's seen such a promising team, one he's certain he'll be proud of… given they can pass his final test. "Well, now that we're done with that… I'm afraid I'm going to have to put you all through one more test." At first, he receives a collection of confused stares, but Naruto's slowly overtaken by a predatory grin. "I'm certain you're all going to be incredible shinobi, but I need to see whether you're worthy of being my genin. As such, I want you all to meet me at training ground 3 tomorrow morning, at 9 AM. I'd suggest you all avoid breakfast. You won't want to just lose it all once the test starts…" He almost breaks into a maniacal laugh, but quickly realizes that would be too much, and completely ruin the surprise. For now, he leaves them with a simple shunshin, disappearing without a trace and a faint ring of smoke and dancing leaves in his wake.

Naruto pushes himself to his feet and stretches. "So… You guys wanna celebrate with some Ichiraku's?"

"Hn…" Sasuke pushes himself up with just his knees and keeps his hands in his pockets. "I dunno. Kinda feelin barbecue, actually."

Sakura nearly leaps from her seat. "Oh, that actually sounds really good right now. That place near the Yamanakas' shop, right?"

"Yeah, I could go for that." Naruto chuckles and reaches back to pet Yoko. "How 'bout it, kit?" She yips in agreement and licks his hand. "Alright, let's move!"

.

.

That night finds Naruto seated in Iruka's- now his- livingroom, slowly sinking into the couch as he pets the fox curled up in his lap. Iruka sits across from him, reading an old, faded book with such a broken spine that he's clearly read it a hundred times. As he finishes another chapter and sets it aside, he steps over and plops down next to his adoptive son. "Ya know, I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet for so long. Worried about your test tomorrow?"

Naruto tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling. "Not really… worried. More of just trying to figure out the gimmick. He said he was sure we'd all be incredible, but he wants to be sure we're right to be his genin. What could he mean by that?"

Iruka hums and closes his eyes, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head. "Well… Kakashi's a… complicated man. He has high standards and strong enough convictions to make him a potential Hokage when Hiruzen retires."

"… What can you tell me about his genin team?"

"Hm?" Iruka peeks over to his son and takes in his steely eyes, focused on some imperceptible data floating about in his mind. "Well… I never got to meet anyone from his genin team." He sighs and crosses his arms, sinking deeper into the couch. "Both of them died during the last war. If you'd wanna know anything about them, you'd have to ask Kakashi, Gai, the Hokage, or… well, I know Rin was indirectly related to the Inuzuka clan, and close to Tsume."

Naruto nods and lets that sink in. He still doesn't know just how to deal with this, but he's one step closer to figuring it out. However the test begins will fill in the last few pieces of the puzzle, and then, it's all down to building the right trap…

.

.

"This is absolute bullsh*t." Naruto growls as he awaits their sensei, staring off into the open field as he sits atop one of the three wooden posts of training ground 3. The worn-down grass and packed dirt is surrounded by the village's usual dense forestry, and the black granite of the KIA monument stands out as a stark reminder, and Naruto's current point of interest. If Kakashi's teammates both died in action, then they're both inscribed on that stone. A reminder as he tests his own team. A way to steel his resolve in their names. Another piece of the puzzle that is the test they now await.

"We should have seen this coming after yesterday." Sakura growls as she channels chakra into a leaf, dew forming on it and gathering into a small puddle at its center. "So did either of you actually listen and not eat before he arrived?"

Sasuke grunts. "Nope. That's just stupid. Even if we lose some of it in whatever this test is gonna be, we still need the energy."

Naruto nods and pulls his legs up onto the post, crossing them and propping himself up on his knees. "Besides, that was a suggestion, not a command. How dumb does he think we are? He should know I wouldn't fall for that! And hell, after all the nasty things I've worked with for my traps and pranks, I doubt he'll be able to make me hurl with anything short of an earth-shattering gut punch."

Sakura shudders and closes her eyes. "I-I still can't believe you could turn into that disgusting of an old man!"

He snickers and grins wildly. "I will cherish that prank for the rest of my life."

"Ditto."

"Seriously, Sasuke?!"

"Well…" All eyes fall upon Kakashi as he appears standing behind the posts a few feet to Naruto's left. "I certainly don't have to worry about you all getting familiar with each other."

Naruto chuckles darkly. "Kakashi-sensei, you of all people should know that one of the most critical parts of pranking a target is studying them and knowing how to make it personal. I take pride in stalking my targets until I can get their schedules down to a T and then turning their whole day on its head in a second."

Kakashi shivers at the thought of that. Usually, shinobi aren't this twisted until they reach jonin. If he weren't so loyal to the village, I'd have to worry about another Orochimaru. He coughs and forces himself back to his senses. "W-Well, let's get to the point, then." He raises a pair of bells. "Your goal for this test will be to retrieve these bells from me before this timer goes off." He sets the timer on the middle post and cranks it to an hour. Those who do will graduate. Seeing as there's only two bells, one of you will be sent back to the academy." He almost smirks at Sakura's slightly unhinged expression, but Sasuke and Naruto change that fast. Sasuke appears to hone in on those bells like a hawk. Even without his family's fabled eyes activated, he can still bore a hole into your soul with that gaze. As for Naruto, he barely manages to suppress the grin forming in the wake of slotting this last piece of the puzzle into place. Well, sh*t. He's already figured it out. Let's see if he can convince the other two, then. "Come at me with the intent to kill, or you won't lay a finger on me. The test starts… now."

His new students are gone in an instant, off to the trees and seeking potential hiding places and approaches. Kakashi can of course track them all rather easily, save for Naruto, who he needs to actually put some effort into. Little bastard's better at this than he knows. Silence soon falls for a few minutes until a change in the pattern of splashes from the stream behind him catches his attention. He turns to find nothing, but grins at the sight of a light rippling. Misdirection via a skipped pebble. He turns back to find one of Naruto's clones already approaching. He continues to read as his left hand is occupied by Naruto's eclectic combos, first blocking an upwards left hook into his ribs, then an attempted sweep kick at his ankles which he easily steps away from. He ends up stepping back directly into a very wet Yoko, who he catches with a foot beneath her ribs and flings her into Naruto. The clone catches her and replaces himself with a log rigged with a smoke bomb, leaving Kakashi alone in the field. "Huh… not bad so far. So what about the other two?" He dodges a series of shuriken that fly from the woods and pauses as he spots the glint of a few far smaller projectiles among them. He slips between the senbon and chuckles. "Nice trick, and decent aim at that range, but not fast nor numerous enough to catch me."

He ducks to the left in time to avoid a few shuriken thrown by Sasuke as he approaches from the bushes. This directs Kakashi to duck low and towards Sasuke's incoming right knee. He knows all too well that Sasuke's left hand is also reaching for the bells in the process, his right hand for the top of his head. Decent, but- sh*t! He pivots to the right on his right foot to escape the range of all three strikes, grabbing Sasuke by the back of his shirt and throwing him across the clearing. "Clever little bastard." His eye narrows and focuses on the faintest aura of static around Sasuke. "You upgraded an academy D rank jutsu for parasite killing into a C rank taijutsu enhancement. So what do you call this?"

Sasuke chuckles and shifts back into a basic taijutsu stance, low and fingers spread. "It's called Raiton: Mahiken. (Stunning Fist) Best you learn to respect it!" He rushes in and swings in a flurry of swift jabs, forcing Kakashi to step back and avoid contact at all costs, lest he be stunned by it.

They're all pretty good… but I get the feeling they're all just testing the waters yet. I haven't seen even half their tricks. He leaps back into the bushes and completely disappears from view as Sasuke chases him in. He struggles to track Kakashi down for several moments until a hand grips his ankle and drags him under up to his head. Kakashi then emerges from the ground in front of him with no noticeably displaced soil. He brushes a bit of dirt off himself and smiles down at his student. "A bit overconfident yet. Never believe you have the upper hand just because an opponent is avoiding you." He turns and walks off. "Well, I'm off to find the pinkette. I'll come dig you up later, if Naruto doesn't get you first."

Halfway across the training ground, Sakura kneels on a branch around a third of the way up a particularly large tree, among the leaves, to the point she can barely see out from between them. She focuses on sounds, awaiting footsteps and hidden with a genjutsu that makes her appear as nothing more than the leaves she's among. Of course, she doesn't hear Kakashi approach… but he also is having a bit of difficulty finding her. She's good. Kurenai taught her well. I can feel her general presence here, but there's no visible sign, and she's near silent. I can hear her breathing, and smell her shampoo, but visibly she's practically gone. Well, let's see if she's as good at countering genjutsu as making them. He takes a moment to shift through handsigns and cast a radial genjutsu. Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu. (Hell Viewing Jutsu)

Sakura freezes as she witnesses the wind blowing and leaves twirling. Moments later, she watches as Sasuke stumbles from the trees below and barely into view, several kunai sticking out of him. At this distance the details of his injuries are difficult to make out, but the lack of an arm and the amount of blood cascading from him paints enough of a picture even then. "D-Damnit… why didn't I have… backup?.. My team should have prevented this!"

She stares for a few moments, shivering and closing her eyes to steel herself, but with a quick half tiger sign and a pulse of chakra, she dispels it. "Laying it on a little thick, sensei… Good thing Kurenai-shishou introduced me to that one. One of her favorites..." By then, Kakashi is gone, and satisfied with the results. Now if only they could come together and complete their task. He almost expected otherwise, until he heard two sets of footsteps through the trees headed Sakura's way.

.

.

Kakashi once again stands in the middle of the clearing by the three posts, reading his Icha Icha as he waits for whatever strategy there may be to begin. He felt something underground a short time ago, and that certainly intrigued him, then again, there's two earth users on the team. He tried not to pay too much attention, wanting to be surprised. The start of their combo didn't do much to impress, but that may be for the best. Sasuke approaches from the tree line with his Mahiken active, going for a more rapid and spastic series of strikes that leave many openings, but little opportunity for someone unarmed as Kakashi is, unless he wanted to be shocked. It's easy enough for Kakashi to dodge, until he catches sight of two sets of projectiles from opposite peripherals. Naruto and Sakura have aimed from the trees to assault him from both sides while Sasuke takes the front, giving him only the option to retreat. If he weren't holding back for his students' sake, he would have used his own lightning affinity to counter Sasuke, catch most of the projectiles and throw them back, and they'd all be dead in seconds. Of course, that's elite jonin level combat. For genin, they've already impressed him. For now, he'll see this strategy through.

As they lead him, the trajectory of the projectiles changes consistently, showing that they're both throwing from the trees. He starts to question how there could be so many weapons- until he notices that some of them are popping on impact, with a few real ones dispersed between. Naruto's clones must have produced them. He'll have to remember to teach the boy the Shuriken Kage Bunshin later. Eventually, they guide him to the area he'd felt them tunneling towards earlier. He tracks Sasuke's moves and the projectiles well enough to take a look back and see what he's being led into. Several patches of dirt have been shifted, but sadly, a few corners of surprisingly large paper tags are sticking out and visible. They wouldn't have access to exploding tags yet, and Naruto would know not to resort to something so deadly. Considering the wide spread of them, they probably looked to make a wide enough area to ensure he'd hit one, meaning they must be contact activated or requiring rather than triggered or radial. Deciding not to make things too easy for them, seeing as they slipped up by making the trap so visible, he makes sure to leap back and land in one of the spaces between them.

And that proves to be a potentially fatal mistake. The ground around him shimmers as Sasuke leaps back. The tags seem to shift to new locations, but Kakashi knows quite well now that the original placement was an illusion. Sakura mutters from the trees. "Magen: Koko ni Aruzu no Jutsu: Successful." With the false surroundings of the genjutsu dropped, Kakashi realizes he's directly landed on a large seal, and three smaller ones surround it.

Ooooh. Make the false surroundings appear as believable as possible. Not bad at all. So what are these seals? He attempts to jump from them, but the three outer seals trigger, and he feels gravity grow just a bit stronger there, keeping him from jumping as quickly or as easily, and giving the main seal time to catch him. A cyclone emerges from it beneath him, slowly pushing him into the air, but the gravity seals keep him from shifting laterally, only vertically in the wind. As he takes in his students stepping out to admire their work, he notices Sasuke competing a tiger handsign. Holy sh*t, they actually produced a lethal combo already. Kakashi is consumed in a flaming tornado, only to pop in a cloud of smoke and drop a pair of now slightly singed bells.

Naruto deactivates the seals and steps up to grab them, while Sakura stares bewildered at the scorched ground. "Wow, we actually beat his clone."

Sasuke grunts and crosses his arms. "He was holding back."

Naruto chuckles as he cleans up the remains of his seals. "Yeah, I'm sure he just wanted to see what we cooked up for him. Right, sensei?" He stands and turns to stare at the real Kakashi now standing near the three posts.

"Not bad, kids. You made a trap. You beat my clone. You got the bells. Although, what was Yoko's role in that combo?"

Naruto chuckles nervously and pets the kit's head, poking out from his partly zipped hoodie, beneath his chin. "She's not much of a direct combatant. Her contribution was to bury the glitter bombs."

"Glitter bo-?" Glitter bursts from shallow earth beneath the posts, showering Kakashi in it and leaving the scarecrow looking quite fabulous.

Two minutes later, he, Sakura, and Sasuke are walking off and waving back to Naruto as he remains tied to the pole with Yoko ignorantly napping in his jacket with her tongue sticking out. "I expect you at training at 8 tomorrow morning, Naruto! Good luck getting out of those ropes! I'll send Iruka in case you don't in two hours or so!" Naruto would reply with a rant that would make a sailor blush, but Kakashi saw fit to gag the blonde as well, treating himself and his other two students to the wonderful sight of Naruto flailing his head and legs about in a desperate attempt to tell them off in whatever nonverbal manner he can.

Chapter 8: Demons of Past, Present, and Future

Chapter Text

Naruto wakes in an eerily familiar and dimly lit sewer. Unlike what you'd expect of a sewer, there's no notable smell, besides maybe the smell of fox and hints of ramen broth. It takes a few moments of peeking around and realizing he's already standing to recall where this is. "Oh… ok, guess Kyuubi wants to talk again." He steps along through his mindscape with his hands behind his head, peeking at the walls and trying to assess the structure. "Someday, I'm gonna have to come in here and explore more. Ugh. I'm gonna have to get a lot better at meditating." Reaching the seal chamber, he steps across the titanic room and towards the bars. The distance closes at a surprising rate, his mindscape adjusting to ease the process, yet when he peeks back, the room is once again so long he can't see the entrance again. Returning his gaze to the bars, he almost jumps at the sight of the fox's apartment sized-eyes staring him down.

"Took you long enough, brat." The fox lowers himself to rest his head on crossed paws. "So, you wanted to interrogate me. How about you provide something I want first?"

".. That would depend..." Naruto crosses his arms lock eyes on the fox, nearly starting a staring contest. "on what it is you want."

"Something better than this damned sewer." He growls and sits upright. "There's nothing here, and all I can do is lay in this cramped, wet cage forever!"

Naruto cringes and nods. "Yeah... good point. Ok, um…" He starts to turn and look over the room. After a few moments of focus, the sides of the chamber and several spots in the floor become grated, and the water starts to drain away. With a bit more focus, he manages to completely dry it. Water continues to flow, but through the space beneath the grates on the sides. With another few waves of his arms, a titanic slab covered in one of Naruto's recent theorized seals floats down. This seal happens to be a modified gravity seal that causes the effected object to hover instead. The side of the slab facing the cage then lights up and displays what Naruto's seeing. Currently, the fox can only see himself and the room still. As a final touch, for now, a soft red mass begins to grow from between the tiles of the cage's floor, rapidly inflating and merging together like dough, until the titanic demon is slightly elevated atop a very plush pillow that takes up almost the entire floor of his cage.

The fox peeks about for a moment as his tails sway gently. "… Not bad. It would take much more mental discipline than you have to make any more of a difference than this. For a first try, this is satisfactory." Closing his eyes and shifting a bit to get more comfortable, he sighs in relief and smiles. "Very well. Ask away."

Naruto sighs in relief and collapses onto his back for a moment, trying to think of wat to ask. He's wanted to grill this demon for information for so long, but now that he can, nothing's coming to mind. Eventually, a thought resurfaces. "… Why did you attack Konoha?"

"… You aren't ready to hear that, and don't deserve it yet. Ask something simpler."

The blonde huffs and falls silent for a few more moments. "…. Ok. Do you know of any other jinchuuriki out there? Ones that'd still be around, probably?"

"Hmm… actually, I can think of four. First would be the Sanbi's jailor. Yagura, the Mizukage. I wouldn't consider him a jinchuukri to look up to. He's certainly good at using my sibling's power, but that twisted fool started the Bloodline Purges. Honestly, I'm all for finding a good reason to exterminate a portion of the human populace, but targeting bloodline wielders out of fear and ignorance is quite possibly the worst reason I've ever heard. I'd take 'because I felt like it' over that."

Naruto can only manage to stare blankly at that. It confirmed a lot of things. Firstly, a jinchuuriki has become a kage before. Second, they set a terrible precedent that'll give him some trouble. Third, the biju consider each other siblings. Lastly, the fox apparently has a moral compass, but a strong disposition towards causing general chaos. "Um… o-ok. Go on."

"Alright. Next jinchuuriki would be the Yonbi. His container I believe is an old man in Iwa named Roshi. He was a big player in the last two wars. His Yoton jutsu are truly something to fear. Even I wouldn't take them lightly. Next is his comrade Han, the Gobi's container. I know for certain that your damnable Yondaime went against him and the next on my list during the last war. Han's steam jutsu are almost as bad as the old monkey's Yoton, but more versatile."

Naruto scratches his head as he takes in these jutsu elements. "Heh… two Iwa jinchuuriki with fire in their elements. That must annoy them a bit."

"Probably." The fox chuckles and closes his eyes. "And the last… Killer Bee of Kumo. I have no idea what the Hachibi sees in him, but the union of their power is perfect. He can use my sibling's power flawlessly, and is most certainly one of the most powerful and dangerous men on this planet at this moment. He could take on any of the standing kage and fight them to a standstill at the very least, and probably kill most of them."

Silence falls as Naruto lets that sink in. If there's already jinchuuriki that powerful out there in foreign nations, he needs to step his game up. "… How do I learn to use your power?"

"Hm?" The Kyuubi sits up and stares down his jailor. "That's quite a bold question. But I can see why you would ask. You may be ready soon enough, but you'll need to get better at meditating first, and a bit stronger on your own. Only then will you be ready to channel a small portion of my chakra without it becoming a threat to your health. For now, though, it's almost time for you to wake. You best ask a mush quicker, simpler question before you go."

"Ok, well… why are you helping me? You've made it pretty clear you don't like humanity much. And I'm keeping you trapped here just by living."

The Kyuubi snorts. "Right on all accounts. But, I both love and hate humanity. Your ingenuity and capability are things I respect. Your arrogance and reliance on fear as a base instinct, I hate. You personally? You fear only that which is logical to fear, you don't deny the facts, and you didn't personally put me here. You don't even have the key to this seal. I have no reason to hate you. As for helping you, well…" He grins. "I enjoy chaos. What better formula for that is there than a hyperactive young man with the power of the king of demons, the talent and creativity to trap anyone and anything, and happens to love explosions? A child after my own blackened heart."

Naruto shivers for a moment and nods. "When you put it that way, I'm almost afraid of myself. Well, it was a nice chat. I'll work more on meditation and see if I can get in here sooner next time. And I'll try and talk to some Yamanakas about mindscape management!" He turns and walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets and fading from the fox's view as he wakes.

In those first few moments of stillness and silence before he sees Naruto's bedroom through the screen the young man had set up, he sighs and lays back down. "… I still hate both your parents with a passion… and yet you've managed to keep me from hating you." He huffs and closes his eyes. "… Father… I think you would like this one."

.

.

Hours later, all eyes on the main stretch of Konoha turn towards Team 7. Normally, this would just be due to the odd combination of the village pariah and his fox, the rookie of the year, and pink hair that stands out as much as Naruto's old jumpsuit. Today, they happen to be staring more at what the blonde is carrying. In his right hand is a wooden cage marked with seals and containing an all too familiar feline in a red bow, baked out of her mind on catnip. Tora's escapades through Konoha have become quite the legend over the years. The number of teams who've fought and struggled to capture her are too numerous to count. She's raised hell in the Inuzuka compound a few times and come out without a scratch. It makes one wonder if she were related to demon. Oddly enough, Naruto would later hear from the Kyuubi that she was indeed his grandniece, a grandchild of the Nibi.

What few of them would suspect just yet is that Naruto was the one to design the cage she's now in. Not twenty minutes ago, it was unfolded into a flat hinged structure hidden beneath the dirt. The moment Tora fell for the catnip after being chased by Yoko for about an hour, it snapped shut and locked in place, the sides drawn together by seals rapidly retracting steel wire. Now Tora could be carried to the tower amicably and at a safe distance to avoid being scratched into oblivion.

Reactions were in a wide array. Some maintained their disgust towards Naruto and lumped his entire team into it. Many thought the Uchiha prodigy must have made that trap and caught the demon cat themselves. The few shinobi who witnessed it were often a mixture of jealous and desiring to kill the furry bastard before it could escape again. The best reaction by far though, was the Hokage's jaw nearly dropping as Naruto presented the caged animal to her current owner, the Fire Daimyo's wife, Madame Shijimi. "Here you go, mam. Try not to let her out of the cage until you're back home. The catnip should keep her calm for a while, that batch is some of the strongest I could get my hands on." He peeks down to find her purring in the cage, flopped onto her side and staring at nothing. "This kitty's flyin' higher than the moon right now."

Madame Shijimi tenderly takes the cage from Naruto's care and stares into it. "Oh… dear me. I suppose I'll have to find a good source of catnip for her for back at home. I never thought she could be so docile." She kneels down to Naruto's level, her wavy brunette locks framing her plump face and gentle smile. "Thank you, dear shinobi. If she gets away again, I may have to ask for you personally."

Naruto has to force himself to keep up a clearly very fake smile. "Oh, you're too kind. Now, it's best you return to the capital quickly so you can release her from that cage. Keep her in there until you're inside the palace."

"Very well…" She sighs and uprights herself to leave, but looks to the Hokage on her way out. "It was good seeing you again, Hiruzen. Do take care of yourself, and try to find a new successor before you keel over behind that desk!"

Naruto snorts once she's out of the room. "Alright found them, I'm right here. So!" He steps up towards the desk and cracks his knuckles. "That one was a bit too easy this time. Don't ya think you should give us something more worth our time?"

"Um…" Sakura bites her lip and averts her gaze. "… Yeah, he's kinda right, Hokage-sama. We've all been getting bored with all these D ranks."

"Hn."

"Ya see?" Naruto gestures back to Sasuke with both open hands. "We barely managed to get the emo out of his shell, and now he's so bored he's reverting!"

"You just earned yourself a surprise sparring match. With my Mahiken active."

"sh*t."

Hiruzen coughs and taps the ash out of his pipe. Dear Kami, these three are already reminding me of my students as genin brats. He sighs and sets the pipe down. "Very well. Kakashi, are you in agreement?"

Kakashi slumps and nods. "To be quite frank, Hokage-sama… these three have been complaining about D ranks since day one and working well above expectations. At first, I thought watching them suffer through D ranks like I had would be fun. For a little while, it was." He tries his best to ignore the death glares he gets from his students. He almost flinches when Sasuke's hand sparks. "It stopped being fun about two months ago. They're more than ready for a C rank."

Hiruzen closes his eyes and smirks. "I was waiting to hear that. Well, I have just the client in mind." He reaches over to a seal on his desk to signal his secretary. She steps in a moment later. "Please fetch Tazuna for us and bring him here." She nods and steps back out in silence. As she leaves, his eyes dart to Kakashi and meet his for just a moment, alerting him to pay close attention.

Kakashi's eyes barely narrow. Really, Hokage-sama? Throwing them into the fire with a mission you suspect is falsely labeled? But why?

As they wait, Naruto is rambling endlessly about who this Tazuna could be, what kind of profile he'll have, and the potential extravagance of this mission. "Oh, what prepared seals should I bring? Which tools should I have on hand? How many exploding tags?!" Kakashi pales at the thought of how many a boy like Naruto would consider 'enough'.

He's cut off as the smell of alcohol hits him and he stalls, staring at the door as a drunken man in a brown tunic and straw hat wanders in, skin tanned and weathered to leather, decorated with a very unkempt and grayed beard and wide nose. He finishes another swig of sake and stares down to the trio of genin. "Are you serious? These brats are guarding me? They probably couldn't even fight a raccoon, let alone a bandit."

Naruto stares blankly, then peeks to his teammates, whose distaste for their charge's disrespect is clear as day. "I think we should give him our credentials." They both nod and grin almost sad*stically. Naruto replaces himself with the lamp behind Tazuna and places a finger to Tazuna's spine. Sasuke leaps up and lands on the ceiling, reaching a hand out and holding two sparking fingers towards him. Sakura then draws a few senbon and thrown them at his feet, landing harmlessly between his toes and into the leather of his sandals.

".. Point taken." Tazuna gulps and slowly lowers his bottle, looking up to Sasuke as his hair starts to rise in response to the static charge by his head. "Can you stop that please? My hair is bad enough as it is."

Sasuke nods and leaps back to exactly where he'd been, while Naruto replaces himself with the lamp again to return, and Sakura… actually fades from view and reappears where she'd been. The senbon are gone too. Kakashi can't help but muse at the brilliance of that. Actually throwing those at the client, even their feet, would have been too dangerous, especially for a genin. She's not that good yet, but a genjutsu can be used to very convincingly fake it.

Hiruzen sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Team 7, this is Tazuna, an architect from Nami no Kuni. He needs an escort back to his home there so he may continue construction on a bridge leading to the mainland."

Naruto nods and pinches his chin as he thinks, a gesture Kakashi quickly realizes he's picked up from his adoptive father. Little does he know, Minato often did the same. "Simple enough." Naruto nods and peeks up to Tazuna. "When would you like to leave?"

"Oh, um…" Tazuna stares at the young man for a moment. Something in his blue eyes speaks of mischief and pain on levels he could barely fathom. "T-Tomorrow morning, around nine, preferably."

Naruto nods and looks to his teammates. "I'll have some seals to pawn off on you guys tomorrow when we leave. Dad's not gonna like how much coffee my clones go through tonight, but the results will be worth it."

Hiruzen grins and waves them off. "Go and prepare then, children. Tazuna, I assure you, you're in good hands. Go prepare and rest for the night." All three genin take that as their cue to leave, as does Tazuna. Kakashi and the old Kage remain. Hiruzen looks to Kakashi as his grin fades and softens into something subtler, but genuine. "Jiraiya will be there. I may send a clone as well. Naruto's learning fast, Kakashi, and the biggest thing he's learned is the importance and value of a secret. He'll understand, and he'll know to keep silent. More so… I think finding out now, and finding out he's already naturally on something so similar to his father's path, will inspire and motivate him further. This is a perfect opportunity to test his resolve. Just as well, it'll test Sasuke's willingness to work with Naruto instead of focusing on any gap there may be between them, and expose Sakura to some of the most difficult aspects of shinobi life. That girl may be good with illusions, but she seems to have one of her own regarding shinobi life still. We need to break that spell and be certain she has the strength to progress."

Kakashi nods and averts his gaze, staring out the window as he watches his students wandering down the street and splitting up. "… It's not like you to take a gamble like this. You usually play things much safer. Why gamble now?"

Silence falls as Hiruzen internally debates on how to answer. "… those three… I know you see everything I do in them. But I also see more. You see your own team. I see my students. There's so much potential. But potential like that came at odd costs. You know how they all ended up. Jiraiya lost hope. Orochimaru let his craving for power turn him into a monster. Tsunade's bright future was cut short by losses she wasn't prepared for. And your team…"

"… Right… we need to make sure they don't turn out like we did. That I don't become another you. That they don't become another of my team, or yours. We can't let history repeat itself. That requires a few gambles to pull off…" He turns and walks to the door, hands deep in his pockets. "… I'll follow your lead on this, then."

.

.

"Nami, huh?" Iruka passes Naruto a plate of the pork cutlets he'd prepared for dinner, along with some risotto and, much to Naruto's chagrin, some asparagus. "I was there once, when I was younger. Decent place from what I recall. Be sure to pick up a few souvenirs if ya can, with some of your hunting money."

Naruto nods and digs in, trying to get the asparagus out of the way quickly. "I'll try, depends on how long Kakashi wants us to stick around there, really." He takes a moment when he thinks Iruka isn't looking to drop a piece of asparagus down to Yoko. She digs into it eagerly, as it's buttered and salted perfectly. "Oh, and um… I'll be buying some extra coffee for ya to replace what my clones are going through tonight."

Iruka pauses and peeks up to Naruto from his plate. "Your clones are pulling another all-nighter preparing seals for tomorrow, aren't they?"

"Yeah, already working on it in my room. I'll get more of em on it soon."

Iruka sighs and hangs his head. "Of course. Well, at least you're planning ahead. Any seals in particular?"

"Well, there is one." He grins. "I figured, what rules say an object sealed in the scroll has to be unsealed from the same place? So I'm using an entire scroll, putting objects in on one end, having it contained in the middle, and the moment it's detected arriving from one end, it's unsealed on the opposite end."

Iruka pauses as he considers the possibilities of that. "Huh… that's quite the trick. An because it only has to conform to the shape of the scroll, which…" He pauses and slowly turns to stare at his adopted son. "… which can be folded around corners and walls. Dear god, that's brilliant."

Naruto's evil laughter echoes through the house in various stages and volumes throughout the night. At one point, his clones began a maniacal chorus at around 3am, up until Iruka dispelled them all. Naruto's dreams were then graced with evil laughter from the Kyuubi as he got to witness the incoming memories.

.

.

Deep in the woods of Nami no Kuni, a man in a bandage mask up to just beneath his eyes pulls the bandages down just enough to expose his lips and tilt back a swig of sake. "This arrogant midget's pissing me off more and more every day." He nearly tosses the bottle, but pauses as the room's temperature drops a bit. He peeks to his subordinate seated across the room, meditative, but slowly freezing the space around them.

"Zabuza-sama. What has he done this time?"

Zabuza grunts and sets the bottle down. "Bastard thought I wouldn't find out he was undercutting me and hiring someone else who'd do the job cheaper if he can manage to do it faster. Apparently, he got word from one of his company's executives in Hi no Kuni that Tazuna was spotted on his way to Konoha. He'll have an escort. I doubt I'd have trouble killing whoever's sent, but Gato apparently thought it necessary to double dip on mercenaries and hire some no-name brat who abandoned the tree-huggers years ago. A little sh*t who thinks he's great just because he's got a special sword. Jackass doesn't even know how the hell to use it!"

Haku sighs. There's three things in particular that always piss her master off. First, is anything involving Yagura. The failed coup and trying to raise funds to try again has left everything he does connected to that horrid past somehow and keeps him in an almost perpetually foul mood. Second would be customers who don't get what they're buying and try to play financial games with shinobi out of arrogance. Lastly would be people who don't take the skill he built his entire profession on seriously. All three of those together has him in a foul enough mood for Haku to detect his killing intent simmering beneath the surface at all times now.

It's interesting, though. Haku had met Aoi once before. His arrogance was truly something to behold, nearly as much so as that blade he stole…

Chapter 9: A Scarecrow, a Drunk, and Three Kids Walk into a Puddle...

Chapter Text

"-so then I took the ten skunks I'd caught in my traps that week and knocked them out, then set them loose in half the grocers in town!"

Raucous laughter bellows from the slightly drunken and aged architect, peeking back to the troublesome blonde with the widest grin he'd managed in weeks. "Brat, that has to be one of the best damn revenge pranks I've ever heard! And believe me, I work construction, I've seen some sh*t go down on the job!" He barks out another laugh and takes a heavy swig. "You ever see what happens when bored construction lackeys have a passed-out coworker and a surplus of cement?"

Naruto's eyes nearly light up. "I have yet to witness this majesty, but damn do I want to."

Kakashi groans and covers his face for a moment. "You're going to learn to use cement as a jutsu trap now, aren't you?"

"Hmmm…" Naruto scratches his chin as he thinks over the application. "Well… depends on the elements required. I have earth, and I can probably learn the minimum of water needed to pull that off if I really push it, but… I'm not sure about what else would be involved."

Kakashi pauses as he watches Naruto think. It's such a marvel to hm, watching him set himself to solving a problem like this. So much like his father. It's far from a conventional puzzle, either, yet he still views the pieces and seeks an abstract solution to an abstract issue. He can nearly see from the twitches in his face that he's already conceptualized the elements as the largest pieces of the puzzle but isn't certain if it's set with those two or needs another. Eventually, he decides to pitch in on the issue. "As best I know, cement based jutsu tend to require a combination of earth, water, and fire. It's a pretty abstract combination, and the only time I've ever seen anyone use it…" He pauses and looks to the sky. "Well, last time was someone of considerable rapport from Iwa. I believe he was the Tsuchikage's son, Kitsuchi."

Naruto whistles. "Damn. Well, I'll have to settle for making a seal with that function then. Maybe seal some wet cement, and it'll be preserved and come back out still wet? Or maybe focus on earth and wind to produce aerated soil that acts like quicksand?"

Sakura blanches at the thought of that. "Naruto, has everyone ever told you your mind is scary?"

"Dad, Kakashi-sensei, Hokage-jiji, several anbu, Yoko, and Shika."

"Of course you had an answer for that."

Sasuke blurts out from the back. "How fast can your current explosive stock launch Tora from a 10-inch-wide canon?"

"THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR!"

Kakashi side-eyes his demented student. "How many exploding tags did you make?"

"Are we talkin normal ones, or specialty?"

Kakashi groans and slouches. "You're gonna make me the first acting shinobi to die of a heart attack." He nearly uprights himself at the sight of a puddle up ahead, but acts natural as he can manage whilst paying close attention to his students. Sakura calms down surprisingly fast from the horrors of Naruto's mind and positions herself closer to Tazuna rather slowly. Sasuke remains at the back, eyes steeled and attentive. Naruto shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket to hide his handsign, and there's a light, almost imperceptible puff of smoke in the front of his jacket, where Yoko had been hiding.

Soon after they pass the puddle, two cloaked shinobi in facemasks and wearing a pair of bladed gauntlets connected by a bladed chain emerge from the puddle and rush them from behind.

The moment after they step out, a subterranean exploding tag goes off behind them and blasts them into the air. They manage to upright themselves and throw kunai from the air, but the set of people they throw them at fade from view. By the time they've landed, Sasuke is roundhousing them both in the head from behind, then grabbing their backs and releasing a light shock through the water still soaking them thanks to their choice of camouflage jutsu. They both fight through the shocks and glare back to Sasuke before bursting into water. As the water clones drop, Sasuke leaps back towards the troop, still standing back behind where the puddle had been before Naruto's trap went off. Pulling a kunai from his pouch, he peeks about to assess where they may attack from next. Yoko pops from the ground beside Naruto and yaps towards the southeast. On cue, Sakura unloads a handful of senbon that way, and Naruto backs it up with a kunai. At first, the twin assassins dodge them with ease, but the kunai unleashes another explosion and almost splits them up, without having an attached tag. The seal was carved onto the metal. The tension of their chain keeps them together and wrenches both their arms as it brings them to an abrupt halt mid-air. Naruto's laughter can be clearly heard from their failed hiding spot in the woods. "You heard me talkin' sh*t about my specialty tags!"

"Damnit, these kids are making fools of us!" One of the twins struggles to his feet, but his brother throws down a smoke bomb and pulls him back.

"Didn't you f*cking see who their sensei is? That was Hatake Kakashi! We need to get the hell out of here and give Zabuza our intel, and he'll have a better shot at this." His brother knows better to argue, considering who they're up against. They retreat in silence, leaving Team 7 and Tazuna to gather their thoughts and address the elephant in the room.

Kakashi slowly turns to stare down their client, followed by his students. "Just bandits, huh? So then, Tazuna… why were the Demon Twins after you specifically when they attacked Sakura's illusion?"

"O-oh, um… heheh…" Tazuna slowly raises his hands and backs himself into a tree. "I-I've got no idea what that was about, I s-swear!" The four shinobi and their loyal fox stare him down with increasingly potent glares and even a small burst of killing intent from Kakashi by the time he cracks. "O-Ok, ok! It's Gato, the shipping mogul! He's been bleeding my country dry for years, and my bridge is the only thing that's gonna break his hold on us! If I don't finish this bridge, my people are gonna starve to death under Gato's watch, and he'll drag the survivors into his human trafficking ring!"

Silence falls as the stakes sink in. Kakashi slowly uprights himself and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Ugh… You've been in deep for a while now, and you've gotten us to wade in after you. Well…" He sighs and closes his eyes. "technically, we're no longer obligated to complete this mission, as you've misinformed us and had it labeled as two ranks below what it now clearly is. We have the right to turn around and head back home-"

Kakashi pauses as he feels Naruto slap a tag onto his back. He can't be sure what this one's meant to do. "No. Hell no. Sensei, you heard what the man said. If you turn this team around now, I'll set off this modified glitter bomb tag on your back. I call it the glitter geyser. It won't stop for about an hour, and I have dozens of others to plaster all over your apartment."

Sasuke stammers for a moment as his eye twitches at the sheer absurdity of what Naruto's just done. "O-Ok, I'm with the dobe here on continuing the mission, but... what the hell?"

"Yeah… Naruto?" Sakura turns to her teammate and cracks her knuckles. "Why did you think it's a good idea to threaten our sensei?"

He gives her a nearly blank stare, brows slightly raised as though to say he expected this to be obvious. "It's a threat of a prank, not harm. No rules against that."

"… Oh. Why the hell do so many of your traps use glitter, though?"

"Are you kidding?!" He throws his arms into the air, signaling the start of yet another rant that fuses brilliance and absurdity in equal measure. "Glitter is the best prank material ever! It's physically harmless, the stuff made from seaweed is healthy and biodegradable, but it gets everywhere and becomes a sparkly long-term annoyance you just can't ignore! And any trap I can rig with glitter, I could just as easily rig with dozens of smaller scale explosives or poison! And don't even get me started on the applications of the geyser sty-"

Kakashi clears his throat. "As I was about to say…" Annoyance bleeds through his nearly clenched teeth. "I know my students would protest, and morally, I can't bring myself to turn around either. So please, remove the tag from my back, and I'll call in for backup."

Tazuna drops to sit beneath the tree with an exasperated sigh, nearly collapsing. "Thank Susanoo. My people still have a chance…" He buries his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself, emotional exhaustion leaving him looking further aged than his wrinkles ever could.

Naruto peels the tag off and slips it back into his hoodie pockets. "Don't thank us yet, Tazuna. We've still got a lot to do. So, sensei, how're we calling in backup? You got one of those messenger hawk scrolls?"

Kakashi shakes his head and shifts through a few handsigns. "I've got something better. Kuchiyose no jutsu!" He kneels and slams his hand on the ground, producing a plume of smoke. Sitting before him now is a ninken with light brown fur and white markings, with very spiked fur sweeping to the front of his head. The back of his open blue vest displays a series of hiragana forming a scarecrow face, topped with a headband worn around his neck. "Urushi, good to see you. I've got a task for you that'll take a bit of sprinting and a bit of stealth. Up for the job?"

The sharp-featured ninken grins and wags his tail. "Aw, ya shouldn't have. Yeah, I'm game. So, what's the deal- hm?" He turns to face Yoko as she approaches and yips away in the Inuzaka clan's tongue. He soon returns with a series of growls and yaps. This exchange continues as Kakashi writes the mission details and request into a scroll. Before he's done, Naruto's even joined their conversation.

"Uru, do you really need to set my girl up on a date in front of me? Disrespectful, man." He just receives a couple of yaps and barks in return from both of them. "Ok, point taken."

Kakashi rolls his eyes and secures the scroll into a pocket inside Urushi's vest. "Ok, take this back to the Hokage. Don't dispel yourself until he's instructed you to. Keep an eye out for anyone trying to intercept your message, as always. Think you can manage that?"

The mutt scoffs. "You know what I can do. This'll be easy. Next time, try and summon me for a fight, alright? A lot of us are getting tired of being messengers."

"Bull doesn't mind."

"Bull's the biggest wimp among us! Why are all the biggest, toughest dogs such pansies?" He growls and turns to face back to the west and towards Konoha. "See ya again soon, I hope!" He takes off at twice Yoko's top speed, and Naruto can already tell he's still holding back.

"Well… I guess we're set to go, then." He turns to keep walking with a grin on his face and his arms behind his head.

"Naruto…" Kakashi drones as he watches his student pass by. "What did you do?"

"Nothing you have to concern yourself with, sensei."

.

.

"Sensei…" Shikamaru sighs deeply and scratches the back of his head "Why do we have to take this C rank anyway?" He glares into the distance through the thick forests outside Konoha. About fifty meters ahead is a bandit camp that they'd been assigned to deal with. They were waiting beside a major shipping road and assaulting shipments of valuables to resell at a profit. Either they had some nukenin to bolster their strength and bravery, or they were remarkably stupid.

Asuma pulls the cigarette from his mouth but doesn't blow any smoke. "Because Kakashi's brats already got one, and I'm not letting us fall behind the lazy bastard. Besides, your strategies are more than capable of a job like this now." He looks to his left as Ino slowly rises from her slumped position against a tree nearby. "What ya got for us?"

Ino sighs and rubs her temples as she mentally sifts through it all. "Ok… There's twelve of them, lot of young punks, toying with some of their more valuable finds as prizes. Really full of themselves. One of them seems to have some training, but clearly dropped out of the academy and got pissed enough to bail. Kinda guy who thinks he's the hottest sh*t just because he can throw a kunai straight. I'd say one display of Chouji's jutsu, and half of them will already be cowering."

Chouji chuckles as he peeks back to her. "Which one?"

"Hmm…" She grins. "How about we test your newest addition? It's a bit flashier, sure to get their attention."

Shikamaru smirks and rises from his seat. "And set things up for me. Yeah, this won't take long. You set up a good distraction, right?"

"Yep." She stands and stretches, restoring her formerly abandoned body. "I went and screwed with them a bit before I left that bird's body. Ruined the dinner they were making."

Chouji slowly turns to her with a glare. "… You didn't."

"Don't complain, Chouji. Their stew was sh*t anyway, the kinda stuff you wouldn't touch if you were paid to."

"Stop bickering." Asuma growls and raises his trench knives. "Ok, kids. You know the play."

Chouji nods and prepares a few handsigns. "Scare the masses."

Ino grins almost sad*stically as she prepares one of her family's signature handsigns. "Undermine the leader."

Shikamaru pulls a scroll from his pouch. "Restrain, contain, and conquer."

Asuma smirks as his students move ahead. "Pops, I can't thank you enough for giving me these kids."

.

.

"Ya know… I really hate fog." Naruto's eyes narrow. "The humidity in the air messes with my ink and makes it runny. I can't make any good seals in these conditions."

"There's many more reasons for us to dislike this fog, Naruto." Kakashi puts his book away and focuses all his attention on their surroundings. "You and Sakura especially should understand that."

Sakura nods and pulls a few senbon. "Could Gato have really gotten Kiri nin on a job like this?"

"Under the current regime there?" Kakashi tilts his head and peeks back over his left shoulder. "Possibly. But, I doubt he would risk such a large organization knowing what's going on beneath his company. He'd probably go for missing nin, which Kiri currently has an abundance of."

Sasuke groans and hunches over. "Great. Well, my fire's near useless then. Lightning it is, I guess." He sighs and uprights himself. "Whatever, I need more practice with it anyway."

Naruto chuckles grimly and slowly pulls a kunai from his pouch. "No better practice than being thrown head-first into a sh*tstorm, right? Do or die… Kami, what am I saying? This is exactly why I use clones test all my seals."

Tazuna's starting to visibly shiver as he takes another swig of his sake, face sunken and eyes wide. A bit spills from the bottle as he lowers it, entirely due to the constant shaking of his hand. "Please don't be serious."

Kakashi grabs Tazuna and pulls him down. "DUCK!"

His students barely manage to get down in time to avoid taking a direct hit from a spinning slab of sharpened steel nearly the size of their own bodies. It swerves up into a nearby tree and embeds itself halfway up the trunk to the lower branches, soon supporting its wielder as he stands upon the hilt. The genin slowly raise their heads from nearly cowering stances to find the man towering over them to be wearing baggy striped gray pants closed at the ankles by almost cow-patterned leg warmers with a matching pair on his arms. Despite these, his chest was bared save for the leather strap meant to carry his blade upon his back via a small spring-loaded locking mechanism for the hole in the blade and a hook for the notch in it. His face is almost entirely hidden by a combination of bandages wrapped tightly from his neck to the bridge of his nose and a Kirigakure headband tilted to the right on his brow. His spiky crew-cut black hair barely sticks out above the headband.

Kakashi identifies the man instantly as he uprights himself, speaking almost casually to the attempted assassin. "The Demon of Kirigakure, Momochi Zabuza. Of course Gato would hire someone with such a record as you."

"Hatake Kakashi…" He chuckles and crosses his arms, the only evidence of his grin being a few wrinkles in his face wrap. "When the twins told me you were involved in this mission, I actually got a little excited to deal with someone of my own caliber. It's not often I get to actually fight someone instead of just slaughter them."

"Does tend to be a problem when you get to our level, doesn't it? If you revel in a fight that much, anyway, but I do know a few people like that back home." He sighs and reaches for his headband. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to turn around and ignore this job, would you?"

"No can do." Zabuza tilts his head and elicits a series of pops and snaps form his neck. "That'd be terrible for business." He starts bolting through handsigns. "So let's get this over with quickly!" Kakashi pushes up his headband and his sharingan eye spins to life, pupil contracting as the three tomoe expand. The fog thickens and Tazuna is surrounded by his four guards.

Naruto grits his teeth and frantically peeks around. "Visibility's cut to about ten feet. At shinobi speeds, that's far from enough for me to react. Sasuke?"

"I've got nothing. Fire's weakened in these conditions, I have no distance lighting jutsu yet, and trying taijutsu with a guy who can wield a sword that size so easily is suicide."

"Cool it, boys. There's something off about this mist." Sakura closes her eyes. "This chakra feels… malicious. He's mixed killing intent into the mist to cause paranoia, anxiety, and panic. The less clearly we think, the harder it'll be to counter."

Kakashi grins beneath his mask. "Good work, Sakura. Focus less on what you can't do, stick to what you can. Naruto?"

The blonde falls silent for a moment, but a sickeningly wide grin slowly spreads on his face. If Zabuza could see it through the mist, he would have reason to be afraid. A moment after, puffs of smoke reveal four more Narutos surrounding the crew and spitting streams of mud onto the ground around them. Walls of stone rise from them and surround the party, followed by another stream being spit onto the top of the walls to close them off beneath a ceiling.

Zabuza sighs and shakes his head. "No target speech this time, huh? Pity... I always enjoy watching them shake after it." He reels back his blade and swings in at half the height of the wall. A Doton: Doryūheki is too soft for his blade, especially coming from a rookie genin.

Of course, Naruto was banking on that. The blade stops halfway through, and as he attempts to tug it free and retreat, something within the stone chamber explodes, breaking his blade in half and battering him with chunks of stone. He immediately falls apart and splashes into a few scattered puddles, exposed as a water clone.

"Clever brat." Another Zabuza amidst the trees tightens his grip on his blade. The blast blew away enough of the mist to see the softened earth they'd tunneled through and a series of charred tags and steel wire. He caught my blade with the wire, and trying to tug it free set off the explosives. Either lose my blade or potentially lose my life. Who knew Konoha still had anyone this devious?

He slips back into the shadows and thickens the mist, conjuring a few more water clones spread across the clearing and a few in the trees. A clone tracks one of them, the little Uchiha, cowering and panting among the bushes. A swing of his cloned blade makes quick work of them, but the clone is dispersed as an electrified hand runs through it. Three more fall to simple kunai. One of them wanders onto an exploding tag. At this point, Zabuza is starting to get a little pissed off. The sensation in the mist grows more oppressive by the moment. I'll show you little shi- His thoughts are cut off by a fox leaping from the earth behind him and biting into his collarbone. "GAH! What the f*ck?!" He grabs Yoko by the neck and throws her into a nearby tree, only for Naruto to leap in and catch her, rolling to a stop with Zabuza bringing his blade down on them both. He registers the grin on the kid's face just in time to leap back and avoid the exploding log he swapped himself with. "How the f*ck does one kid have this may exploding tags?!"

"He made them all himself." Zabuza slowly turns to glare at Kakashi about twenty feet off to his right, his hand starting to spark and chirp. "Honestly, Zabuza. You got too full of yourself. You've let your skills rust and made one of the oldest rookie mistakes: underestimating someone with no record. My kids are quite a lot more than you bargained for, aren't they?"

Zabuza growls and steps backwards. "Maybe… but mine's even better." Kakashi's eyes widen as he's forced back by the sudden spawning of a thick wall of ice, frosting the surrounding ground and turning the mist to snow. Kakashi's tempted to give chase, a lasting effect of his Anbu training, but halts as he recalls his current mission detail. When the ice cracks and shatters moments later, Zabuza's gone. Kakashi sighs and lowers his headband back over his eye before stumbling out of the woods to address his students. What he finds is Sasuke leaping up and kicking the last clone in the back of the head as Sakura's genjutsu dissipates. The moment the illusion falls, Sakura is revealed kneeling and panting beside Tazuna right at the edge of the forest with the hole they'd resurfaced with beside them. Naruto walks back out of the woods with a grin on his face and Yoko cradled in his arms.

"Oy, Sasuke." Naruto steps up to his teammate for a fistbump. "Thanks for providing the wire for that one. Your clan's wire stock is the best I've ever seen, man. I doubt anything of lower quality would have stood up against that blade, even in that quantity."

Sasuke nods and rolls his wrist. One of the clones had blocked a punch with the flat of his blade. Most people would complain about their knuckles in that case, but too much pressure on a joint will have some nasty lasting effects. "Because of my clan's fire proficiency and eye for detail, a lot of retired shinobi or trained civilians were blacksmiths. Most of the tools and weapons in my compound were made by and for the clan."

"No sh*t?" Naruto kneels to observe the remains of his trap. "No wonder. Any chance I can look through your stocks sometime? In return, I'll rig some seals on whatever weapon you decide to take up, and probably keep upgrading them as we go."

He perks up and turns to stare at Naruto's back. "… Ya think we could make something legendary?"

Naruto peeks back with the very same grin he'd given Zabuza through the mist. "Sasuke, given a few years and the right supplies, we could make something Kiri would be sending anbu to steal."

Kakashi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Well, can't say they're not ambitious or driven, but I should be more worried about them blowing themselves up than an enemy killing them."

.

.

"Kotetsu, Izumo, how ya been?"

"Oy, hey Uru!" The eternal gate guard duo of Konoha leans over their booth to look down over the ninken that just arrived through the west gate. "Guess you've got something from Kakashi for the Hokage, right?"

Urushi nods and hops up on the desk. "Yep, but you can be sure next time he summons me that I get some time to stick around, I'm lookin for you boys first." He steps up to the logbook and presses his paw onto the ink pad to sign with it. "Alright, I'm off to the tower." He takes off at full tilt through the bustling streets of Konoha. Innocent and clueless civilian children try to chase after him to play. Inuzuka ninken bark greetings and insults alike. He gladly returns fire at the later. The few shinobi who've worked with Kakashi and his ninken team wave as he passes. It isn't long before he's running up the wall of the tower and barking through the window.

Hiruzen raises his eyes from the mess of paperwork on his desk and turns to stare out the window at the messenger ninken. He sighs and rolls his chair over to open the window. "Urushi, good to see you. I suppose Kakashi figured out what was off about his mission?"

He hops in and lays down on the windowsill. "Scroll's in my right pocket. Said I should stick around for further instruction after you read it."

Hiruzen grumbles and pulls the scroll free, taking his time reading it to memorize every detail. I had some intel suggesting how corrupt Gato was, but this is far worse than I suspected. I should have ordered him assassinated years ago. Well, Jiraiya's meeting them there, so they won't need much backup. Good excuse to send someone who just got back to active duty until the next semester.

He chuckles and prepares a note of his own. "Urushi, you're to remain here until their backup arrives and is briefed. He'll be coming with you as you dispel yourself, then be summoned with you wherever Kakashi is at the time."

"Ah, that old trick? Alright then. Well, while we wait, Naruto had another letter for you. It's in my left pocket."

"Oh?" Hiruzen digs into it and pulls out-

He takes a blast of glitter to the face and drops the tag as it continues to spew a continuous stream of glitter into his office.

Chapter 10: Vision

Chapter Text

The rest of the road to Tazuna's family home had been relatively uneventful, but one would guess anything would seem as such after nearly losing your head to a man wielding a five foot blade that somehow passed as a sword. Even as successful as they were, it had been a close call. Now they all had to go on with the knowledge that he could return for round two at any moment, and all three genin were on edge the moment the adrenaline of the fight wore off. Sakura's fingers were twitching as she prepared to cast a genjutsu at the first sign of any trouble at all. A few bouts of panic and accidental casts left her severely drained of chakra and lethargic for the rest of the walk. Sasuke was as quiet as usual, but his eyes were wider and focused on the ground, requiring Kakashi to snap him back to attention occasionally. Naruto's silence was potentially the most unnerving. His usual jovial nature was drowned in a sea of doubt. Yoko had bounced back more easily and kept attempting to cheer her partner up with a few loving licks to his face as she poked her head out of the front of his jacket. Occasionally, she would chatter away in the Inuzaka hound language and force a smile onto his face before he returned to contemplative silence.

Kakashi couldn't blame them. Their first C rank had already gone wrong in one of the worst ways short of death or failure. It wasn't as bad for them as it had been for himself and his teammates in the war, and he was thankful for that. Some of their innocence still remained and maybe a little hope. Given time, he knew they would snap back. He just couldn't have expected how soon.

The moment they reached civilization in Nami no Kuni, his students' eyes were on the town. Citizens wander with heads hanging, shuffling through filth-ridden dirt roads. Countless shops stand abandoned, windows boarded or smashed, and not a single one left untouched. Half a block looks to have been burned down. Sasuke was familiar enough with fire damage to recognize that the building it had started at burned faster and hotter than the others. It could only have been arson. Only a single child could be seen about, all others kept locked inside for their own safety from the many armed thugs wandering the streets. The one they did see was a young boy curled up in a crate filled with blankets and newspapers near the burned homes. The Gato-employed thugs all brandished swords, spears, clubs, and few even openly carrying conventional fuse-lit black powder bombs. This was slow, open, terrorizing warfare against a helpless population.

Naruto was the first to start noticeably boiling over. He grit his teeth and began to reach for his weapon pouch until Kakashi nudged him. The silent command was followed and he shoved his hands back in his hoodie pockets, for now. Sakura on the other hand became a ball of twitching emotions. The tears in her eyes were evident enough, but depending on whatever her attention was drawn to at any moment, she would either be fighting off those tears or envisioning the horrors she would bring to peoples' minds with her genjutsu. Sasuke of course was the last to be noticeably phased, but the results were near instant. The moment he saw the homeless boy, almost half his age and hiding in a crate as three henchmen approached, his normally cold and calm demeanor burned away into the seething fury befitting his clan's element. Kakashi barely caught sight of Sasuke breaking away to help them. He almost stopped him.

Almost.

"Hey." Sasuke calls out as he approaches, hands still deep in his pockets. The four thugs turn to Sasuke with incredulous and sagging expressions, completely wasted in broad daylight.

"The ffff*ck do you want, ya lillllsshhhit?" The tallest of the group, yet lower than the rest now as he drunkenly hunches, spits out as he leans in to get a better look at Sasuke as his teammates step up behind him. He cups his chin and scratches his overgrown stubble, the stench of alcohol rolling off his breath in such intensity to almost make Sakura reel back if not for the rage driving her.

"Are any of you responsible for the fire here?" Sasuke's eyes narrow. He couldn't tell if the burning in them was due to the soot in the air or the alcohol. He wouldn't know until later that evening that it was neither.

The man hunched down to him starts a sputtering laugh. "Yeah, tha' wud me! Dumb bitsh wouldn' pay up, sho I-" That man would never speak again for the rest of his life without excruciating pain. In his drunken state, he had entirely missed the headbands, the fact that hunching so close made his face an easy target, and the color of blood tinting Sasuke's formerly coal black eyes as an incomplete set of tomoe formed around his pupils.

Sasuke got him by the back of the head and leapt up to knee him in the chin, shattering several of his teeth and breaking his jaw. He then threw his unconscious first target to the ground face-first and leapt over his body just as Sakura and Naruto passed him. Sakura slammed a palm to one's forehead and channeled a more direct version of Magen: Narakumi into him. Her target began to scream and sprint away from them, desperately begging for help and stumbling over himself. Naruto's target was slapped with a seal that left him motionless and limp on the ground as Yoko began to claw and bite at him, targeting his legs and arms as to not be fatal, but surely disabling. He couldn't even scream. It's a weak seal, but someone without any training in chakra use could never escape it alone. The last of them had long enough to draw his odachi- only for Kakashi to place a kunai to their neck from behind. "You and I are going to talk. Naruto, put a seal on this one too, have some clones take him to the woods and wait for me to come and interrogate him."

Naruto nodded and created three clones with a quick handsign, one slapping a seal onto the captive's forehead and taking the sword while the two remaining clones hefted him onto their shoulders and carried him out of the street and into the woods. The real Naruto took the time to loot the remaining two and hand the entire contents of their wallets to the young man in the crate. "Here… Get yourself a nice meal, a hotel, whatever. I'll come find you whenever we're done here and see if there's anything else we can do for you, ok?"

He slowly peeks out from beneath the blanket he'd been hiding under. His eyes are still reddened by smoke and tears, his black hair hanging over them. ".. t.. t-thank you…" His voice is hoarse and weak, but there's a tiny glimmer of hope there.

This brings a gentle smile to Naruto's face as he hands over the wad of cash and stands to rejoin his team. His smile fades the moment his back is to the kid, eyes steeled and glaring blue flames across the world to someone he can't even perceive. "Let's go. We need to talk about what to do with Gato."

Kakashi narrows his visible eye on his student. "What exactly are you considering doing?"

"Same thing I do to anyone I don't like. I'll prank him."

The entire team fails to notice a toad watching from the overgrown grass beneath the town's abandoned bulletin board.

.

.

Footsteps in the grass and the occasional slap can be heard deep within the woods of Konoha, broken by the occasional thunk of metal piercing wood. A white-eyed boy skids backwards to a stop, the occasional bruise visible across his deathly pale skin. The veins around his eyes pulse and twitch not just with the pressure of his Byakugan, but the seething rage building against his sparring partner. "How the hell did you get this strong?!" He barely parries a blow to his left ribs with a right tilt and an underhanded slap to the offending arm. He breaks away from his opponent and analyzes them once more.

Lee had always been little more to him than a gangly green blob flailing at him in what he has considered one of the most uncultured and worthless taijutsu forms. The boy was fast and powerful but couldn't touch him. Now, if not for his Byakugan's ability to see through henshin, he would have suspected their sensei to have taken his student's place in this spar.

The tides had turned suddenly. Lee had bitten his thumb and swiped the blood across a seal-carved steel pad sticking out from beneath his legwarmers. His speed multiplied in that moment, and the difference was great enough to throw Neji off balance and land a few rather painful blows. The worst part is knowing just how hard Lee can hit, and that he's holding back on these punches. Lee's refraining from landing any truly harmful strikes in favor of testing his new speed and finding openings in Neji's style and patterns.

It infuriates him.

Tenten on the other hand only smirks in barely veiled amusem*nt at the sight of her most closed-minded teammate receiving a long-awaited and much deserved beating. She knew why Lee was this tough. She forged those new shinguards for him herself. She had supplied the materials he needed to get his new tricks prepared. Neji never could have known how much Lee was improving. He considered talent to be natural, unlearnable, and unconquerable. He never took any time to admire someone else's progress, or whatever methods they used to do so. His own training was always done in solitude and with his usual high and mighty attitude. He never witnessed Lee grueling for months over books on sealing and preparing his nerves for the next step of the process. He may handle muscular and bone damage without a whimper, but his skin had to catch up in that regard to prepare himself for the ink and needle that would apply his first great work.

Although reluctant, Lee has thankfully agreed that for this to work, he can't keep their sensei's fashion sense.

.

.

The first night at Tazuna's place was enough to triple Team 7's resolve. His daughter, Tsunami, was a kind and lovely woman whose sleek and elegant black hair almost gave the impression of still ocean waters in the dead of night, complete with a history of loss and tragedy hidden beneath. That history came to the forefront thanks to her son, Inari. The young man had gone out of his way to ignore them for the majority of the night. It wasn't until Naruto had returned with Kakashi from interrogating the captured thug with nothing to show for it that things went sour.

Naruto barges through the door and groans, nearly pulling out his hair. "All that work, and the guy had literally nothing!" He flops down into his seat at the dinner table. Yoko snorts and sticks her tongue out, her head and forepaws emerging from the collar of his hoodie.

Kakashi sighs as he follows his student in. "Yes, yes, I'm as surprised as you. You always hear about the sort of people who join outfits like this just for the power and chaos, but you never expect to meet hired muscle that's actually that shallowly destructive."

Sasuke raises a brow at that, barely peeking up from his spot at the dinner table. "… Well, that's… Honestly really concerning for this town, because if there's one, he may have a few other like-minded henchmen. We'll have to be careful about that."

Sakura nods and props her head up with a closed fist under her nose. "That's an understatement. Even if we stop Gato, people like that need to be dealt with separately, cuz they're likely to do even worse things in rage once they stop getting paid and protected. It's like he has a life insurance policy that pays out in the form of violent revenge."

"So just give up." All eyes turn to the overall-clad boy in a bucket hat standing by the stairs. His eyes can barely be seen through his shaggy black hair and under the brim of his hat, but there's contempt and suffering the likes of which Sasuke recognizes instantly in them. "Gato can't be stopped. He doesn't care about anyone. He won't let you fight him for long. He'll kill you too, just like every other 'hero'-" He nearly spits that word out like it were poison. "-that's tried to stop him."

"Inari-" Tsunami quietly scolds her son. "Don't be so rude to our guests."

"It's fine." All eyes fall on Sasuke. "That's a very… realistic stance to have. One I really can't blame him for." He turns his gaze onto the now bewildered boy. "Bad people get away with terrible things all the time. But you also need to remember, Inari… that there are always equally capable people willing to fight them and put an end to the tragedies they cause. Terrible things happen..." He closes his eyes and lowers his head, propping his head up on his interlocked fingers. "But we don't have to let them keep happening. Not when there's any possibility of stopping it." He raises his head once more and stares Inari in the eyes with his incomplete Sharingan, two tomoe in the right and a single in the left. "Even if we fail and it costs our lives, the idea alone is worth fighting for. I've spent half my life training for that very purpose, so don't belittle all my effort, and the efforts of anyone else for the same purpose."

Most of the room is stunned into silence by his words. Inari can't possibly reply. Sakura's jaw slacks and nearly falls open, lips quivering as she's wracked with guilt over having never noticed just how hurt Sasuke is, what really drives him to be as great as he is. Kakashi can't help but feel his heart swell with pride. Finally, his most troubled student had found the hope necessary to focus on a purpose greater than just avenging his clan. Little did he know, Sasuke had only come to this development this very night. Witnessing the destruction Gato's very presence had caused in this town, knowing that there are many people out in the world as horrid as him, and many whom are far worse, finally pushed him to look past the single felled tree to see the forest that remains.

Naruto on the other hand lets off a half-hearted and breathy chuckle, breaking the silence as he looks his brother in all but blood dead in his eyes. Blood red meets sapphire, and the determination within them both nearly lights a spark in the air between them. "I couldn't have said it better myself, Pinkeye. So, if that's your stance on this…" His grin becomes almost sickeningly wide. "I've got a role in mind for ya in the greatest prank of my life." He shifts in his seat to raise his right side and pull scroll him his back pocket, while Sasuke is left confused as to his new nickname. "It's a work in progress yet, and I need to gather and make a lot of parts of it, but how many fireballs do you think you can give me to seal up in a week?"

Kakashi perks up as he feels the faintest flare of chakra. "Oh, about time they were ready. Tsunami-san, the backup I mentioned will be arriving in a moment. Please, don't be surprised by the method I'm bringing them here…"

As Kakashi pushes himself to his feet and channels chakra, Sakura snaps herself out of her admirating daze and focuses on her sensei. "You're bringing them here? Some sort of transport justu?"

Kakashi chuckles and pricks his thumb with a kunai. "Yeah, a little trick my sensei, the Yondaime, taught me. He'd been taught it by his own sensei, Jiraiya of the Sannin." He shifts through five handsigns and slams his hand onto the floor. "Kuchiyose!"

In a blast of smoke, two figures appear. The first is Pakkun, Kakashi's deadpan, sarcastic pug, his sagging face giving the constant impression of being tired of everyone's sh*t.

The other is quite the shocker, but a very welcome one. Iruka stumbles for a moment as he appears, peeking around to get his bearings. "I don't think I'll ever get used to being summo-" The wind is knocked from him as Naruto leaps into his gut and knocks him to the floor. "Uuugh… Good to see you too, son." He reaches down and ruffles Naruto's hair as he catches his breath, flat on his back. "Thanks for requesting me, Kakashi."

He shrugs and pulls a dog treat from his pocket, handing it to Pakkun. "You were the obvious choice. Your suiton is well suited for the area, and your detection skills are perfect for countering assassins. Although I'm not sure how well your jutsu will work in the middle of Kirigakure no jutsu…"

"Um…" He slowly sits up, with Naruto rolling off to sit beside him. "Last I tried it, the mist dampened my Chakra Onkyouteii a bit, but couldn't completely block it. I should be fine."

Kakashi nods and returns to reading. "Well, eat well and rest tonight. Tomorrow, we need to start training and preparing for Zabuza's counterattack. He'll need time to prepare a good strategy against us, but I'm sure he'll attack before the end of the week. Sleep in shifts, ensure the house is secure and guarded every night, set traps if you have to as long as they don't harm or inhibit our hosts." He snaps his book shut and stands over his students, looking each of them dead in the eyes. "This next week, I'm going to push you until we go home wondering how you'd ever been so weak as you were when we left Konoha. We'll make sure your first real mission, crazy as it's been so far, is a defining moment of success to kick off your true careers as shinobi."

Chapter 11: Secrets Run the World

Chapter Text

Despite the advice to get a good night's rest, Team 7 found themselves up at the ass crack of dawn and standing by the shore. Naruto, despite his boundless energy, can only manage to stare into empty space and grumble incoherently. He remains hunched with hanging arms, barely raising one to rub his right eye. Sasuke remains upright with his arms crossed, but the bags under his eyes are notable. Sakura stands between the two with her left eye twitching and her hair a frizzy mess.

Yoko is just curled into a tight orange ball and napping on the dock.

Why did Kakashi have to be on time for once when it came to training this early in the morning?

"Alright, kiddies." Kakashi grins almost sad*stically, forming a notable crease in his mask where the corners of his mouth rise. "Today, seeing as you've gotten so good at tree climbing already, I'm going to be teaching you all to walk on water. I know you've seen this demonstrated already, so you must have some vague idea what to do." He waves to his most composed student. "So, Sasuke, what can you tell us about this exercise?"

Sasuke huffs and closes his eyes, gathering his thoughts. "Well… much like tree climbing, you have to find a balance to adhere yourself to it enough to stay and not so much to break the bark. With water, if you use too much, you drag yourself under. But it's repelling instead of attaching in this case. Too much, and you blast the water away and lose your footing. Too little, and you fall through. But how much you put out, and in what pattern, must shift with the water. You need to train it until reacting to the flow of the water is instinctive."

"Very good." Kakashi snaps his book shut and looks his students over. "We'll spend the first chunk of the day on training up this skill. I expect you to all be able to walk on water with ease by the end of our first three days of training. We'll have another three at least before Zabuza and his cohort return for Tazuna's head. Afterwards, Iruka and I will be splitting up and using clones to teach each of you privately and personally." He tucks his book into his back pocket and waves to the water off the docks. "Best get to it, kids."

Sakura whines as she approaches the edge of the dock, staring into the murky water. "I'm gonna get soaked doing this, aren't I?"

"So?" She peeks up to find Naruto approaching while in the process of removing his hoodie and shirt. "We're ninja, and water's a lot better than blood."

"N-N-Naruto, w-what are you doing?!"

He stares at her as blankly as he can manage. "I have seals and paper and sh*t in my pockets, and I don't want my clothes to be completely soaked." He pulls off his weapon and scroll pouches, adds the contents of his cargo pockets, and balls it all together in his hoodie before pelting Yoko awake with it. "You need to learn this too, lazy-ass!"

Yoko whines, grunts, and chatters at him as she crawls out from under his jacket.

"Hey, it's not my fault you stayed up half the night talking to Pakkun and asking about this fox Uru's trying to set you up with…"

Sasuke pauses at the edge of the dock. "That's what all the yapping last night was about?" He sighs and cracks his neck. "Whatever, let's get this training over with." He's the first to leap off, landing on the water with a smack akin to a belly-flop, standing for about half a second, then sinking as the water ripples and throws off his balance. He sinks in and manages to pulse chakra through his arms quickly enough to balance himself and not go under. "… You chose the beach instead of a still pond for this just because it's harder, didn't you?"

"Hm?" Kakashi peeks up from his book and speaks in a deadpan drone. "What makes you say that?"

Sasuke narrows his sharingan at Kakashi before swimming back to the dock to try again.

Naruto snorts as he finishes his stretching and steps off the pier. "This'll be easy." He lands on his left foot first, sinks halfway up his shin, then pulses chakra in a manner that blasts the water away and himself from it. He falls back and onto his ass, staring wide-eyed at the wave he just made. "O-Ok, that was way too much chakra. Got it."

"Um… N-Naruto?"

"Hm?" He peeks up to Sakura as he lays back on the dock. "What's up?"

"W..." She points to his stomach. "W-What with that seal on you? I-it's a l-lot more complex than a-anything I've ever seen you m-make..."

Naruto's blood runs cold as he peeks down to himself. He should be familiar with this seal by now, but having it pointed out by someone uninformed is simply chilling. It's a struggle to keep all the muscles in his stomach from visibly tensing in fear at that moment.

Thankfully, bluffs come easily to a trap master.

"O-oh, um... it's e-experimental. Not really complete yet, but um, i-it's meant to be a sort of long-term chakra seal to give me a full restock and then some in e-emergencies."

Kakashi can't help but be a bit proud of that. Most of that was true, and sprinkling truth into a lie is the best way to make it feel real, even to a trained shinobi. Lies of omission are indeed an important skill in the shinobi field Naruto's chosen to specialize in. it's at this moment that he decides what the next step in his student's training is going to be today.

Sasuke kneels to get a better look at it. "Really? That's a cool concept… but wouldn't that also be really dangerous to use? I've OD'd on chakra pills before, and this seal must be that times a dozen."

Sakura scoffs. "If it were that times a dozen, he'd be out cold minutes after using it."

".. W-Well…" Naruto chuckles nervously. "Probably, yeah… like I said, l-last resort."

Kakashi waves the ordeal off and turns his back. "Try to avoid using it, then. For now, get back to training, and try not to worry about the seal. Besides, I see a few flaws in it that need to be worked on before it'll even work anyway."

Naruto side-eyes his sensei incredulously, but translates him quite quickly. He doesn't see any flaws, he's not good enough with seals to know if there are any, but there's no reason for the other two not to believe him. "R-Right… though getting it off may require a removal seal by the old man." He pushes himself back to his feet and approaches the water again. "O-Ok, let's try this again."

The next five hours was an obnoxious wet sh*tshow, leaving team seven sunken into the water dozens of times each. Naruto was certain he'd reached a hundred dips at one point.

After his fiftieth, he kept a clone underwater and had them write a seal on the underside of the pier to blast Kakashi off and into the water. It failed, and Naruto was told if he's going to use clones, he'll be using them to speed up his training.

Eventually, they all manage to maintain themselves on the water for ten minutes at a time without any issues, and smoothly drifting over small waves. That done, Kakashi creates two clones and breaks the party up to train each of his students separately in their own specialties, as best he can.

In a small clearing half a kilometer west-southwest of the docks, Kakashi stands before Naruto in silence as he weighs his options and lets his student stew in anticipation. Naruto is… actually not having any of that, and currently chattering away with Yoko about what the two of them think they might be learning.

"… At attention, Naruto." He bolts upright and shoves his hands in his pockets. Shinobi have no salute, but it's clear Naruto's at least trying to be more formal and attentive. "You impressed me back there. You clearly have a grasp on how to twist the truth into a convincing lie. For your specialty, that's a crucial talent… but you could be better." Kakashi pulls out a small notebook and sifts through it. "Anyone with real experience in deception could have read through you easily enough. The only way to improve is through acting practice. So, we'll hit three birds with one stone." He tosses the notebook to Naruto. He fumbles for a moment, but catches it and starts to read through a list of physical, psychological, and historical traits. "Your transformation also needs some work. You're meticulous and quick with it, but only with either your Orioke no Jutsu or people you know personally. If you're going to get any good at infiltrating, you need to be able to mimic people you've only just met, and likely killed, and replace them. But even then, you still run the risk of encountering someone who knows who you've become better than you do." He crosses his arms and tilts his head back, grinning down to his befuddled student. "So you're going to take features in this book to make ten different clones of non-existent people, then send them into town to investigate Gato's hold on Nami no Kuni, and anything else you can dig up on him."

Naruto studies the contents of the notebook for a few minutes, biting his lips as he divvies up qualities, backgrounds, skills, making varied and convincing people to the best of his ability. Soon enough, he's producing clones of men and women of various ages and professions. An old, tired, fisherman, a wandering widow, a homeless blind man, a thieving orphan boy, an obnoxious drunk- and Kakashi paused as he realized Naruto was starting to make multiple, and send out more than he'd demanded. After twenty clones all in personalized disguises, the original stands and stretches. "Well, that should do. While they're working, I should probably do some physical training, right?"

Kakashi stares for a moment, but eventually grins through his mask and nods. "A wonderful idea. Well then, how about we work on your speed? Try to apply the same chakra expulsion used for water walking to your feet, but in much higher quantities, and see how fast it makes you."

"Oh hell yeah!" Naruto lowers himself into a sprinting stance and pulses chakra odd his forward foot just as it slips behind him in his first stride-

And lands face-first into a tree ahead of him. "…. Uuuuuugggghhh-"

Several clearings to the north, one of Kakashi's clones stands with Sasuke, watching him going through a few katas while maintaining his Mahiken. His style, as quick, reactive, and direct as it is, meshes with this jutsu all too well. He could compare it to the Hyuga's Jyuuken easily enough, but not quite as low, rotating, or focused. There's extra focus on hitting limbs compared to the body, for the sake of disabling, but it doesn't require the same amount of precision. The extra room for error and flexibility makes it a great style for a reactionary close-combatant. This jutsu alone has already exposed Sasuke's greatest traits, and made training him easier than Kakashi could have hoped. "Well, Sasuke… With Naruto focused on traps, and Sakura focused on support with genjutsu and iryojutsu, I believe it's best that you learn to focus on pure assault. Your style works wonderfully in close combat, but it's flexible enough to retreat to mid range and focus your efforts there as well. As such, we'll need to focus on improving your strength, speed, and chakra capacity." He cracks his knuckles and starts shifting through handsigns. "But to augment that, why not learn a fire version of your Mahiken as well? You may need a different combat style to go with it to make proper use, but there's no reason not to get the jutsu working ahead of time. Especially if it can improve your resistance to your secondary element for greater fire jutsu later."

Sasuke kneels and raises his barely closed hand to his face, index knuckle tucked between his pursed lips. After a few moments, he starts shifting through handsigns. Normally, the original D rank jutsu he modified was Mi-Ushi. His Mahiken was Mi-I-Saru. This time, he attempts Tora-I-Saru and channels fire chakra, all too familiar thanks to his Gokyakyu no jutsu. Soon enough, flames begin to spark around his hands, but snuff out quickly. He scowls, but attempts this again, and again. Kakashi's clone leans against a nearby tree and watches Sasuke's progress with a smile. Just a little push, and his own drive builds his momentum. To top it off, trying to learn this jutsu will also improve both his control and chakra capacity by repeatedly attempting it until perfection, then maintaining it long-term. Sasuke's training was in his own hands now, and they'd probably hurt like hell by the end of the day, but it'd be more than worth it.

Lastly was Kakashi's second clone, seated on a stump as he goes over a medical textbook with Sakura. Her memory still shocks him, and her work ethic has become something to rival her teammates. The reading alone is high level, but she picks it up as easily as second nature. The most impressive part is that she's also managing to flow water chakra through a senbon on each of her fingertips to keep them balanced upright. Her control is ludicrous, but learning to do this with water chakra so quickly shows control and potential that hasn't been seen in this element in Konoha since the Nidaime. Her chakra capacity is far from enough to take advantage of it to the extent he did, but it's enough to make pure chakra control tricks a tide turner.

But the real shocker was when she then reached down with the senbon, dragged them across her own thigh, didn't flinch, and proceeded to heal her own wound. Her memory isn't her only mental trick. She has hyperfocus. With all her social and mental quirks, this ability makes it possible for her to dedicate herself to a target and completely ignore outside influence. It's a double-edged sword, but that's something most shinobi have in some form. In this case, the benefit of being able to ignore pain completely is a huge advantage. Her focus, instead, is on then applying her latest lessons to healing the fresh cut she'd just given herself. Her iryojutsu is still a fresh and weak talent, but by the end of the week, she should be able to heal any non-critical bleeding wound easily.

Back with the original Kakashi, the real Naruto is now turning off his gravity seals and stretching in preparation of stealth training for further surveillance of the town. Knowing Kakashi will follow to ensure his safety, he prepares to sprint without a word- but freezes as Kakashi grabs his shoulder "Naruto... before we go, there's something I should clarify."

"Hm?.." Naruto stands and drops his grin, knowing it must be serious if Kakashi insists on saying it here rather than on the move. "W-Well, I'm all-ears." To emphasize this, Yoko's ears perk up behind Naruto, as she's tucked herself back into his hood.

Kakashi peers around as if to double check their privacy. He's already certain of it, but he knows this will get the point of how important this is across to his student. "I know I commended you earlier for the efficacy of that lie, but it doesn't mean that was the right thing to do."

His student's sapphire eyes widen as the implications sink in. "B-But… that's supposed to be an S-rank secret!" He stumbles back and bumps into a tree. "N-Nobody's supposed to f-find out!"

"False." Naruto freezes in his tracks. "A few select people have permission to speak of it freely. This list includes myself, the Hokage, his surviving former teammate, Elders Homura and Koharu, elite strategist Nara Shikaku, the two loyal members of the Sanin, and you. And your father recently of course. You and the Hokage also have exclusive rights to doll out permission to speak of it to others." He steps up and leans down to look his student in the eyes. "This of course means you have permission to tell anyone you trust enough with this knowledge, including your teammates."

Naruto finds himself frozen under his sensei's gaze. The intensity of his stare, the weight of the decision thrust upon him, and the impact he feels ahead of him combine into a stunning force that Sasuke's Mahiken can't match.

How could he possibly tell his teammates about the Kyuubi? He'd barely gotten Sakura to trust him, and stop hitting him so much. If she found out, she'd probably avoid him completely, for a while at least. Maybe try to be transferred to another team. Sasuke, he couldn't be too sure still. They'd grown closer, he felt like a true friend now, if a bit distant still. This reveal could completely break that.

But he could be underestimating them. They could understand. Sasuke's not the type to make a big deal of just about anything, and Sakura's the smartest girl he knows, so she'd be able to look at the whole seal situation objectively, right?

"… I'll… I'll think about it. It won't be easy, but… m-maybe." He closes his eyes and shakes his head clear. "I-I should get to work on my stealth training. I'll think about this later…" he turns and bolts off towards the town, disappearing into the woods in silence, with Kakashi's clone in tow.

The real Kakashi, who Naruto hadn't been speaking to or known of, steps out of hiding and watches as he goes. "… He took that well."

"Hmph." A short distance away, the great toad sage fades into view leaning against a tree, arms crossed and head down. "Not bad, gaki. He's learning well, and his specialties are something rare and versatile. He'll be a trip to train, and his potential is stunning. It's amazing, how much he took after both his parents. So much of his mother's personality, but his father's looks and intellect? Now I know it's not conventional intelligence, but nothing about the Uzumaki is ever conventional." He looks over to Kakashi with a grin. "You set up his training for today to show him off to me, didn't you?"

"Am I that transparent?" Kakashi rolls his eyes. "It's his specialties, you said it yourself. It was the right choice today for a lot of reasons, and you're probably the smallest one, to be honest."

Jiraiya grins and marches up to his student's student. "Just what I wanted to hear. I'll be keeping an eye on him too then." His smile fades a bit, but doesn't disappear. "As for that last bomb you dropped on him… I'll let how he handles that determine if he's ready to meet me, and how much he's ready to hear."

Kakashi freezes and peers over at the sage from the corner of his eye. "… You're thinking of telling him everything?"

"Potentially." The sage passes Kakashi and heads off towards the town. "If he handles this well enough, he'll deserve it. if he can prove he can be trusted with that knowledge, and won't let it get to his head, then I'll tell him." He lowers his head and shakes it. "I wish I could have told him years ago..." He pauses for a moment to gather himself. Kakashi can't blame him. As stoic as a shinobi of his caliber is meant to be, pain this deep cannot be completely ignored.

Chapter 12: Secrets Worth Telling

Chapter Text

Half an hour on the streets of Nami is all it takes to find a lucky break. One of Naruto's clones is disguised as one your average street thugs, slightly darker skin suggesting he's used to equatorial living and a lot of travel. His messy brown afro and barely grown mustache blow about in the ocean breeze, as does his open crimson overshirt, white button-up beneath it, and dark gray shorts. He decided to enhance his disguise by stealing a pair of Geta sandals, clacking away with every step to support the authenticity of the illusion, and a quick 'spar' with another thug earned him a cheap-ass katana to carry about.

His visage didn't go unnoticed for long. He could tell a good number of thugs were eying him, wondering where this wannabe samurai came from and what to do about him… until he approached a gaggle of them gathered out front of a restaurant. He keeps his back arched into a profound slouch and his hands deep in his pockets. "So, I heard there's good work in these parts. Who's payin, and what's the gig?"

The two eldest mercs share a quick glance. In an instant, Naruto knows they must share a history either under Gato's employ or on other job. He decides to keep an eye on these two. Disguising himself as either one at any time would be too risky, for now at least. They deliberate in silence in a matter of two seconds before looking back to the walking bomb they're about to invite into their midst. "Gato needs this place underfoot for his… secondary businesses. He's got a lot of property here, and lot to take yet. Might need to get your hands dirty, if ya know what I mean."

Naruto scoffs and shakes his head. "Good money, and a town to have the run of? Yeah, I'm in. What perks come with it? We get any of his stock?"

The youngest of the crew grins wide enough to almost split his face. "Boy, we got the best sh*t in the world! Part of the job is to keep em from farming here. The boss needs all that land for his products. I've been flyin half the time I've been here, man!" He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a bag full of pre-rolled joints, clearly handmade. "Want a sample to celebrate the new job?"

Naruto raises an eyebrow as he debates how to handle this. Denying it would seem a bit too obstinate for this crowd. If he uses it, his regenerative properties from the fox won't allow him to get anything out of it. He has no experience with this kinda stuff to work off of to act like he's high, so that's out of the question too. Thankfully, his prankster's mind has already devised a dozen ways to take advantage of this by the time half a second has passed. "Eh, I'll take a sample," He reaches out to take a blunt and stuffs it in his pocket. "but I'll wait to have this later with a good drink and a girl on my arm, ya know? Why waste a good thing like this in these dreary parts?"

The eldest of the group chuckles and gives Naruto a quick fistbump. "Now that's a real man's way. You'll fit in here just fine, boy. What's your name?"

"Oh yeah, always been poor at introductions." He chuckles and shoves both hands back in his pockets. "Call me Genma."

"Well, Genma..." He waves for the clone to follow as they turn and leave. "Lemme show ya to some of the best cargo. You need a girl? We've got plenty."

Two blocks away, with right eye glowing and right ear tingling, Jiraiya chuckles to himself and turns to walk away, his transparency jutsu in full swing and nobody the wiser. "Not bad, kid. You've got a real future in infiltration. My spy network could use more men like you…" He sighs and marches off towards the bridge builder's abode. "Now, I believe the real you is…"

Back in the same clearing Naruto had made all of his clones in, he sits in a near meditative state, occasionally placing a few brush strokes on the schematics at work in front of him. He had gone into the field to double check for any specific scenarios he'd need to make new clones on the fly for, but returned soon after to record his findings and work on more designs. Each calculation is careful and deliberate, collected by clones elsewhere, preparing his greatest trap yet. He'd need a lot of help with this one. Yoko remains seated in his lap through it all, half asleep and just enjoying her best friend's company. Naruto jolts as another clone pops and he jots down a few notes on a separate scroll, beneath a series of them detailing intel from his disguised clones. "That's a pretty huge pot farm… Now what to do with it? Could probably get away with stealing some to use in traps… Maybe give some to Sakura for medical research? I know Jiji would want some…" He chuckles and shakes his head. "Illegal in a lot of Sui no Kuni territory, where Gato does most of his trading, but perfectly legal back home, thanks to Tsunade's research and Jiji's insistence. Kakashi sensei, didn't the Nara have a hand in that too?"

"Yep." Kakashi looks up from his book and glances over the scrolls. "Impeccable work so far. I discovered some of that well before you, but your clones and the range of your search improves your results by quite a lot. Figuring out what warehouses he's using isn't difficult, the pot farm's pretty huge and hard to miss, but getting both of those and the whereabouts of his human trafficking cells in such a short time is incredible for someone your age."

Naruto chuckles as he writes down a few more bits of intel. "How's adding the ship Gato's living on and the total roster of his missing nin hires sound?"

Kakashi perks up and stashes his book back in his back pocket before stepping up to read. "No names, but decent descriptions. We already knew about Zabuza and the demon brothers, though. His Hyoton using friends seems to be quite a lot of trouble, but-" Kakashi pauses and glares at the one name Naruto was able to get. "… That idiot is actually throwing his name around?" Kakashi rubs at the bridge of his nose. "Ugh…"

"Guessing you recognize the name somehow." Naruto pinches his chin- Kakashi once again marvels at how unknowingly similar he is to his father. "So who's this Aoi Rokushō, anyway?"

"A dumbass who thinks he's tough sh*t just because he got his hands on a powerful tool. That sword your intel says he's bragging about was one of the Nidaime's creations." Kakashi pulls his right hand from his pocket and channels a bit of lightning into it. "It was one of my inspirations for my original jutsu, actually. My sensei, the Yondaime, was a big fan of his as well. You've taken up one of his jutsu, too." He smirks at the realization that Naruto's completely enrapt by this knowledge. "The Kage Bunshin was one of the Nidaime's creations. Seems that's a habit that's gone through three generations of students now."

Naruto returns his gaze to his notes, but smiles gently at the thought of already being so mentally and emotionally close to his idols. Without even realizing it, he'd made a piece of their legacy his own. His spirit refreshed and more empowered than ever, he returns to work, inspired to develop a plethora of new traps and techniques.

Off to the side of the clearing, a toad watches in silence, but struggles not to break into a smile and ruin the illusion.

That is, until Yoko starts eyeing him up and he bails as hurriedly as possible.

.

.

Dinner was relatively uneventful. Inari was still absent, which Sasuke seemed a bit distracted by, but said nothing of it. He knows how the boy's feeling after the speech he'd given. Sakura was completely drained of chakra, digging into her meal like her life depends on it. Thankfully, this was a bit of advice from Anko that she took to heart: stop dieting. Shinobi don't diet, they binge and train to the point that not a single calorie is excessive. Naruto on the other hand is oddly quiet at this meal. Kakashi explained it away as the results of the headache induced by expelling too many clones at once, but he knew all too well that Naruto was really thinking off the conundrum he'd proposed to him earlier.

Naruto's deliberation becomes so deep as to nearly enter his mindscape. For a moment, he ceases to see his meal and instead sees the Kyuubi's face, lazily smirking at him in his own half-slumbering state. Seeing the fox laying there on the titanic pillow he had conjured months ago, shockingly peaceful for such a reportedly destructive beast, once again turned his thoughts to how their conversation a few months ago had gone. Since then, he's had a lot of time to think about the 'interrogation' he promised the co*cky kitsune, but one thing stayed at the forefront of his mind; Why isn't the Kyuubi the mindless and destructive beast that the village assumes him to be?

For him to act as he did in that first meeting proves a wealth of intelligence beyond those reports, and having seen it with his own eyes, he knows it must be the truth. Therefore, logic states the 'mass-destructive wild animal' reports are false. So why? He'd have to ask later, if he can ever find his way back into his mindscape to do so. It's proven difficult so far.

Regardless, that leaves him with one more inquiry: How should he tell the others of his tenant and said tenant's intelligence? By now, it wasn't a question of whether he should or shouldn't, but how to break it to them smoothly enough to prevent any panic.

Eventually, Naruto's finishes his meal and washes up for the night, making his way upstairs to the guest room offered to himself and his teammates. He'd been the last to bathe that night, and it gave him just the time he needed to figure out the final details of his plan.

He opens the sliding door into his team's room, and the moment it's shut behind him, he clears his throat. "So, guys… there's a few things I really need to talk to you both about."

Sasuke raises his head from the scroll he'd been reading on chakra applications to taijutsu, tucked into the corner opposite the door, beside his cot. "What's this about, then?"

Sakura barely realizes anything's going on until Naruto walks past her field of vision, just above the medical textbook she'd been reading. "O-Oh, hey Naruto! Is something wrong?"

Yoko remains napping in the middle of the floor, paying no attention whatsoever. She already knows what's coming.

Once he reaches the window and stares out of it, he sighs deeply, takes a moment to run his towel over his head to dry his hair off more, and speaks with his back turned. "We make a great team, but I don't feel like we really know each other that well. That needs to change. Honestly, I… I have some really big things to tell you two, but I'd like if all of us could get something off our chests tonight."

Sakura tilts her head as she weighs her options on this. "… Alright. I'll bite." She marks her place in her book and sets it aside before laying back in her bed. "Guess I'll start. I probably have the least to say. So… You should know Naruto… I have you to thanks for becoming half as competent as I am now." She returns her gaze to him from the ceiling. "That prank you pulled on the fanclub got me to resign from it and start taking things seriously. I… I know I was really hard on you for years. I know I wasn't the best person…" She looks back to the ceiling and runs her fingers through her hair, getting a bit stressed just bringing this up. "Sasuke, I was way too obsessed with you. That set me back a lot. And I'm not letting that hold me back anymore. Naruto's the one who showed me just how much that obsession crippled my progress as a kunoichi, and even then it took a lot of struggling with everything my grandmother always told me about 'marrying a rich clan boy like Sasuke' to finally snap out of it. She was always on about 'that Naruto boy's a demon' and 'Sasuke's the best thing you can have in life'." She half-heartedly mimics a gag. "So sick of her sh*t. It's not to say you're not… still on my mind, Sasuke. I'm just focusing more on me now. And Naruto…." She finally looks back to him with a gentle smile. "I'm sorry for everything over the years. Just know you can count on me to not cause you any more trouble moving forward. I've got your back, just as much as Sasuke's."

That one confession, no matter how comparatively small it is compared to the one he had coming, leaves Naruto's choice to tell them sealed. All that remained was Sasuke's own confession. After lingering on Sakura with a teary smile, he turns to face Sasuke, and finds him stunned still for a few seconds yet.

Once Sasuke finally moves, he crosses his arms and tucks himself deeper into the corner. "…Thank you, Sakura. It's… nice to hear that without your fangirling in the way." He sighs and closes his eyes to calm himself for what's to come. "… You heard what I said in introductions. I have a goal to track and kill someone for the sake of my clan and village. That would be my brother, Itachi."

Naruto nods and pinches his chin. "The bastard who slaughtered your clan. Anyone with an ear to the ground and without their head up their ass knows about that."

Sasuke nods and returns to his tale. "When he did it, I couldn't understand why he left me alive. I honestly still can't, but I've obsessed over that all my life. It wasn't until you two started changing that I started… rethinking it."

Naruto perks up and raises a brow. "Why's that?"

"… I saw how you two changed by dropping your obsessions. Naruto, your mindless obsession with being Hokage without having a real plan for how was something I found both ridiculous and admirable. It was a big goal, like mine, and neither of us had a clue how to get there. I just wanted to get stronger, and didn't care how, or know how." He looks to Sakura, whose been staring intently through every word, enrapt and clearly inspired. "And… Sakura. When you abandoned your obsession of me and started taking things more seriously, I realized my obsession with killing Itachi was clouding my judgement and making me miss a bigger picture too." He sighs deeply as sparks fly between his fingers. "Yes, he most certainly needs to die still. I still plan to do so. But I'm not going to rush in blind for the sake of vengeance anymore…" He looks up from his sparking hand with a smirk. "I still wasn't sure what new motivation I needed until that homeless kid in town yesterday. I knew at that moment it was for kids like him. Like… me. To protect people from monsters like Itachi who would leave more kids like me in the world."

Sakura's left blushing a bit by the end of his speech, once again floored by him, but for reasons far from those her previous, fangirl self would have been. She gently shakes herself from her lovestruck stupor and steps over to take his hand, which conveniently stops sparking as she reaches out. "You know you don't have to handle all of that alone." She peeks up to Naruto for a moment. "Just like you don't have to suffer your climb to Hokage alone."

Sasuke nods and sighs in relief. "That's why I'm telling you. Because I know you'll have my back. When the time comes for me to deal with him, I do want to fight him alone… but we'll help each other grow stronger, to be sure we can all handle monsters like Itachi."

Naruto nods solemnly and takes a deep breath to prep for his reveal. "Speaking of monsters… do either of you know what a jinchuuriki is?"

Sakura stares blankly for a moment, but Sasuke wracks his brain and finds an answer from within his clan's texts. "Wait, are you f*cking serious?"

Sakura peeks down to her crush. "W-What's wrong? What's a jinchuuriki?"

Sasuke sighs. "Naruto, explain it, cuz I have an idea what's going on, but I need holes filled in."

Naruto nods and starts to pace around the room. "Basically… a Biju, like the Kyuubi, can't be killed. But it can be sealed, and all of them have been before, as best I know. But it takes a strong seal to do it, a really strong one. The Kyuubi's the strongest of them, so it takes a seal great enough to kill the user…" He sighs deeply and scratches the back of his head. "and a newborn baby with undeveloped but flexible chakra coils to seal him in."

Sakura quickly puts 2 and 2 together to get the 5 million on this reveal's WTF scale. "Wait, you're telling me to Yondaime died sealing that thing in you?"

Naruto chuckles grimly and nods. "Yeah. My hero died leaving me trapped with the thing everyone in the village treats me like sh*t for."

Sasuke grumbles and glares out the window, to the south. "That explains a lot. The hate, the glares, the insults, your ridiculous chakra capacity…"

"U-Um…" Sakura giggles nervously. "Do you, um… hear him, at all?"

Naruto snorts. "That's the best part. I've had a few conversations with him in the last eight months, and lemme tell ya, the guy's a lot more intelligent than the reports from that night let on. So much so that I'd have to guess there was something going on that night that only he knows, and he's refusing to tell me. Says I'm 'not ready'."

Sakura pauses and furrows her brow, focusing on all the imperceptible details she's already collected. "But if he's intelligent, then why has nobody reported him speaking at all that night? Why the drastic difference?"

Sasuke groans and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Genjutsu… Naruto, can you pass my apologies to him for whatever jackass in my family was responsible for that?"

Naruto's mouth falls agape for just a moment, but then snaps back shut as he considers Sasuke's implication. "That explain a lot… and he's too prideful to admit it happened. But why are you so sure it was someone in your clan?"

He grumbles and leans back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "… The night my brother slaughtered our clan, he used the strongest genjutsu in the world on me. Something I discovered more details about my looking into ancient family records. It's called Tsukuyomi, and only someone with an especially advanced and powerful Sharingan, a stage known as the Mangekyou, can use it. It was the worst experience of my life… and if the Sharingan is capable of horrors like that, then I have no doubt that the clan records suggesting it's been used to command Biju before are correct too." He drops his gaze to Naruto and narrows his eyes. "… I believe you, Naruto. And if you ever find a way for anyone else to hold a conversation with him, I have a few questions of my own."

Sakura nods in agreement and shifts off her knees to sit beside Sasuke against the wall. "It's… a bit much to take in, but he's right, Naruto. We believe you, and we've got your back. And even the Kyuubi's, if he's as smart and potentially innocent as you're suggesting." She sighs and leans back to relax a bit, almost slumping against Sasuke, who seems uncomfortable, but doesn't object. "I trust your judgement. Besides the pranks you pull on us, you haven't steered us wrong before…"

A few moments of heavy silence pass before Naruto manages to step over and sit on Sakura's other side. Yoko leaps into his lap a moment later. "Thanks, guys…" He keeps his head turned away to hide the few tears of joy he can't hold back. "… for believing me… and in me, when so few have before."

Sasuke snorts slightly. "You may be a good liar, but you're a sh*tty storyteller. The story you just told us makes too much sense for you to have written it."

.

.

Just outside the window, with the salty ocean breeze blowing his minimized scent away so Yoko can't detect him through his transparency jutsu, Jiraiya sits on the wall of the second floor with a smile plastered on his face. This kid's ready. As soon as he's asleep for the night…

.

.

Naruto jolts awake as water splashes across his face, leaping into a defensive stance and frantically peeking around to the sight of empty woods. He already recognizes the divot his ass left in the dirt when he was recording all his intel here earlier that day, so he knows he hasn't gone far… but how did he get here?

"Naruto, up here." He quickly follows that familiar voice to find Kakashi lounging in a tree, reading his usual Icha Icha. "We all brought you out here because we need to have a very important and confidential chat with you."

Naruto stares for a moment as he registers the 'we' in his statement, before whirling around to see the three other men perches in nearby trees. The first to stand out is his adoptive father Iruka, kneeling on a lower branch and still holding the last handsign for the water jutsu that woke him up. Second is Hiruzen Sarutobi himself, the Sandaime, in his combat gear including a black jumpsuit and helmet. The last figure confuses him for a moment, another old man standing cross-armed in a red vest with shaggy white hair past his hips and a giant scroll strapped on his back. The custom headband with the kanji for oil gives him away though, and Naruto's left wide-eyed and stunned. "… J.. J-Jiji? A-And Jiraiya?" He wheels back to Kakashi and his dad. "What's going on here?"

"What's happening, Naruto…" He's cut off as Jiraiya leaps down from his perch and crouches slightly to be at eye level with the orange-clad genin. "Is there's more secrets to you than just the Kyuubi, and we've decided you're ready to hear it."

Naruto stumbles back from Jiraiya and glances at Hiruzen. "… What secrets?"

He sighs and slowly walks down the tree to meet with everyone on the ground. "I told you that you weren't ready to know your heritage. Well, that's changed. But you must know that this too is an S rank secret, just as the Kyuubi is, but unlike that one, you will not have permission to speak of this openly for some time yet. Not until you're a Chuunin, at the very least."

Naruto audibly gulps as that fact sinks in. How could the secret to his parentage be so important? Unless-

At that moment, the pieces come together. The Sandaime as the ruling force and officiator. Kakashi as the student, Jiraiya as the teacher, his adoptive father there for support. It all comes together in an instant, and he draws his textbook on sealing, scrawled with notes on every page, from a seal on the inside of his hoodie. He turns to the inside of the front cover and finds the signature of the man who marked it up to hell and back for the sake of improving the art of sealing.

That signature was none other than the Yondaime Hokage himself, Minato Namikaze.

"… You've gotta be sh*tting me." He nearly drops the book. "You've been setting me up for this reveal for months. My sensei, this book, getting me on a mission close to Jiraiya…" He slumps against a tree. "… Of course he chose me. How could the Yondaime have chosen anyone but his own son to be a jinchuuriki?"

Kakashi nods and looks up to the stars through the sparse leaves above. "He couldn't make someone else make a sacrifice he wasn't willing to himself. But, there was more to it…"

Iruka sighs deeply as he takes a seat beside his adoptive son. "I knew them both well enough. Minato was an idol to me. Uzumaki Kushina was beautiful and terrifying, but had so much life to her." He peeks down to Naruto with a smile. "You take after her a lot more than you do your dad, honestly."

Jiraiya snorts. "Minato's mind and Kushina's hyperactivity and penchant for pranks? I swear, it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen." Naruto chuckles half-heartedly at that, but the sage's next comment shuts him up fast. "But, you also inherited her status as a jinchuuriki from her."

Silence falls as Naruto registers that fact. "… So something caused the seal to break on the night I was born, releasing the fox with me, and… she must have been dying as a result."

Hiruzen grunts and nods in confirmation. "As you suspect. She was in a heavily guarded base far off from the village to deliver you, in case the seal broke, with your father maintaining it. Something happened that night to break the seal, and when a jinchuuriki loses their tenant, they are certain to die in short order. Your mother lasted long enough so aid your father in resealing the fox into you. Not only were you the only candidate as their son, but the best candidate, as an Uzumaki. The third Uzumaki to contain the Kyuubi."

Naruto raises his head with a jump and stares the Hokage in the eyes. "Third? Who was the first?"

"Ah…" Hiruzen strokes his fingers through his beard. "That would be your great great aunt, Uzimaki Mito, the Shodaime's wife. Mito was a wonderful woman, I know you would have loved her. She aided her husband in sealing the Kyuubi the first time after Uchiha Madara chose to summon and hypnotize the Kyuubi to his will in their final battle at what is now the Valley of End. It was discovered afterwards that the Uzumaki bloodline is especially potent as jinchuuriki, and most capable of containing the fox. Any other child may have died in the process."

Naruto falls silent once more and lets all these facts mingle and interlock, and the moment the Madara fact links back to his conversation earlier that night, he jolts to his feet. "The night I was born, another Uchiha attacked and put the Kyuubi under another genjutsu."

All shinobi present look to one another as they consider this information. Although things like this are normally high above Iruka's pay grade, he's always been good at gathering intel, and he's had similar suspicions for a long time. Jiraiya is the first to speak up. "I heard you and your team talking about all this earlier, and already filled the other three here in." He gestures to his sensei with a tilt of his head. "He'd already suspected that a long time ago but didn't want to believe it. Knowing what we do now, it seems undeniable."

Hiruzen sighs and hangs his head. "Yet another failure in my duties as Kage. Still… I doubt there were any Uchiha alive at the time with that sort of talent. I'm still not certain what to think."

"Either way…" Kakashi buts in and places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'm sure you see exactly why we had to wait so long to tell you…"

Jiraiya grumbles. "And keep our distance…" He shakes his head and tightly grips his crossed arms. "I wanted to be there for you from the start, but my job and the beacon it would put on you couldn't allow it. I couldn't stay in the village with you because my spy network would have collapsed and leaked intel everywhere, and me being seen with you would have told every foreign spy exactly who you are. I couldn't bring you with because my work requires a specific skill set that no child can meet even with my guidance." He finally looks Naruto in the eyes again, his own aged and sagging as though this one confession was aging him another decade. "I've failed you as a godfather."

Naruto stares into his freshly-met family's eyes for several tense moments. That tension grows deeper for just a moment as Naruto rushes him with a jab to the sage's gut. He doesn't bother to dodge or block, taking it directly and hunching over, only to then find the boy's face buried into him and his other arm around his back. "… B-But I know you had to do it… and I know you can make it up to me…"

Jiraiya sputters silently for a moment but lets just a few tears free as he kneels down and pulls the overwhelmed blonde boy into his arms. "I promise I will. You can count on it, kid. You'll see a lot more of me soon, and eventually, I'll personally train you. Ya got that, gaki?"

Naruto chuckles and grins through tears as he pulls back. "I-I got it! I'll be waiting for you, Ero-Sennin."

"Hey, where the hell did that name come from?!"

"Dad called you a perv all over his notes in this textbook, I'm making that a family tradition."

"Iruka, please, tell your son to cut it out."

"I dunno, I think it's pretty accurate."

Chapter 13: Secrets Uncovered

Chapter Text

Naruto wakes to find the familiar chill of concrete on his back and dim torchlight surrounding him, staring up into an infinite abyss littered with floating gears, axels, and pistons. With a hefty sigh, he sits up and props himself with both arms. "How goes it, fox?"

The Kyuubi grunts and barely opens one eye from his perch on the titanic pillow Naruto had spawned in his cage. "Decently, all things considered. Your conversation with the old monkey and the toad earlier was intriguing."

Naruto snorts and backflips to his feet. "Of course you were watching that. So what out of that got your attention, then?"

He huffs. "The part where they already figured out I wasn't in control that night. I'll need to have a nice long chat with the monkey one of these days…"

Naruto pinches his chin and considers the potential of that. "… Think we could get Inoichi to help with that if Jiji ordered it?"

The fox falls silent, but slowly grins down to his captor. "It's wonderful, watching you abuse your connections like that without making an ass of yourself. There's a big difference between using your resources and swinging someone else's dick around like it's your own."

Naruto snorts and stumbles at that comment. "O-Oh my god, I have to use that one, p-please let me teach Konohamaru with that one!" He coughs between fits of laughter. "Kami, I never thought I'd hear anything half that funny out of your mouth."

The fox rolls his eyes and grumbles. "Well, I had examples from your mother to draw from. I normally could only see through her seal when she was stressed or angry, but she had quite the mouth in those instances. Mito was such a kind old woman, and then I ended up with that loudmouth? Just my luck, really." He slowly sits up and stretches his back. "Still, she spawned a decent brat, so whatever."

"You know I can take that pillow from you for talking sh*t about her, right?"

"… Fine, I'll stop there. Just know I didn't have the best opinion of her. She was a terrible warden. Maybe, probably, a good person, but terrible to me."

"… Fair enough." Naruto sighs and steps closer to the bars. "So, you've confirmed the whole Uchiha genjutsu angle now. Not much we can do about that now, especially as weak as I am still." He stops by the bars, close enough to be clawed, and stares up into the fox's titanic eyes. "So what now? Any other big revelations for me?"

"… Hmmm…" The fox lays back down and rests his head on crossed paws. "None at the moment, but I can say you're about ready to start using some of my power. You're short of a tail yet, but I don't see you getting too many drawbacks from half of one. Might burn like hell at first, though."

Naruto raises an eyebrow. "How bad a burn we talkin?"

"Teuchi's experimental Molten Chipotle Ramen running through your veins while Sasuke uses you as a katon practice dummy again."

Naruto shudders and stumbles back. "W-Well then, that'll be a last resort only for now. No wonder that sh*t popped all my clones instantly…"

The fox snorts. "You humans have such weak constitution. I once had two A rank shinobi crawling around in my innards and attacking from the inside, and I'd still equate it to little more than indigestion for you."

"How the f*ck?"

"They were attacking me, and I was hungry."

"Welp!" Naruto throws his arms up and turns to leave. "I've had enough of your twisted ass for now! Nice chat, I'll try and come back sooner next time. Feels like this is getting easier…" As his unconscious thought trails off, he wakes into consciousness in Tazuna's home and finds himself staring at the ceiling. "Huh, just woke up and yet already wide awake." He sits up with one quick forward swing and peeks around to find Sasuke and Sakura muttering to each other in the corner, with Yoko laid across Sakura's lap. "Morning, guys. What I miss?"

Sasuke smirks and pushes himself to his feet. "We were just trading some genjutsu pointers, now that my eyes are up and running."

"Good move." Naruto pulls his covers aside and rolls to his feet. "So, that's one more trick for when MC Butcher and The Cold Shoulder show up. I doubt it's quite enough yet, though…" He hums to himself and scoops Yoko up as she trots over.

Sakura pouts a bit as the kit leaves her lap, but focuses on their strategist's ramblings instead. "What, you have some suggestions to prepare for him?"

"A few. For now though, we have guard duty on the bridge, right?"

Sasuke nods and shoves his hands in his pockets on the way to the door. "Yep. Lemme guess: You wanna recon the most likely battlefield for where to put your traps, right?"

"You read my mind…" Naruto chuckles grimly and pulls a scroll from his hoodie as he pulls it on. "Let's see here, what prototypes should I experiment with against a Jonin?"

Sakura shakes her head at his absurdity, but pauses at the sight of one of them from over his shoulder. "Wait, that one there!"

"Hm?" He pauses and stares at her recommendation for the trap. "Hmm… Warm, wet environment, low visibility, merges well with the jutsu Kakashi's teaching me today…" His grin slowly grows wider by the moment. "Oh hell yes. Ok, I'll catch up with you guys at the bridge soon." He closes the scroll and stocks it away. "I've gotta go collect some materials for this trap, can't be too hard to find them here. I'll be back with it all soon!" He leaps out the window before Sakura can protest enough for him to notice.

"Damnit, Naruto! Ugh…" She slouches in exasperation, but peeks back to Sasuke for a moment. "I'm not telling Kakashi he did something stupid again."

"Hey, you're the one who inspired him to so it."

.

.

Deep in the densely flowered forests of western Nami no Kuni, a young woman wanders between the trees in her faded pink kimono, her hair out of its usual bun and lowered down her back. Her beauty is stunning, the colorful surroundings complimenting her porcelain skin and earthy eyes. Her basket, swinging at her left side, is half filled with various flowers and herbs, carefully selected for their medicinal properties. Her hunt has gone well, but one more material seems urgent to collect. A bite her adoptive father received at hand of the fox kit of Kanoha Team 7 was infected. Something told her it wasn't poor dental hygiene to blame, but some kind of low-ranking poisonous technique, probably still in training.

Regardless, she had to gather all the supplies necessary to finish Zabuza's recovery as quickly as possible, but always took care to collect more than needed to make excess medicine to stock for later.

But upon leaning down to collect a flower that can be ground and pasted into a numbing agent, she almost headbutts a familiar shinobi in black and orange. She instinctively wants to leap back and throw the senbon she has on hand, but keeps her cool and instead stumbles back in a clumsy, civilian manner. "O-Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know anyone else was out here!"

Naruto chuckles and shrugs and he stands, taking a few samples of that flower with him and sealing it away. "Nah, it's cool. I'm kinda sneaky." He tugs his headband with his thumb to point it out. He pauses at the sight of her basket, though. "Quite the collection you've got there. Not the best botanist myself, but it looks like you've got a lot of meds to make."

"O-Oh, yes." She giggles nervously, maintaining a forcibly peppy demeanor for her disguise. "I have someone I care dearly for that's in dire need of these. I don't see any reason we can't both get everything we need from this garden, though…" She peeks around for a moment, keeping the appearance of having a low guard. "Plenty to work with, for whatever the case. Food may be in short supply here, but in many other ways, this land is quite plentiful."

"Don't need to tell me that." Naruto chuckles as he leans back and laces his fingers behind his head. "Got some stinkweed, a few species really rich in capsaicin, a few poisons, some heavily irritating pollens that stick to the inside of your lungs and make breathing itchy…" He laughs maniacally. "So much potential!"

Her smile drops as her mouth falls agape. "That's… just diabolical."

"Oh, I know." He reaches out for a shake. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha genin, prankster extraordinaire, and future Hokage."

She raises an eyebrow, but slowly reaches out for a shake, keeping her grip weak as part of her façade. "Call me Haku. Do you really think a publicly recognized prankster can become a Kage?"

"I dunno. Do ya think enemies can become allies?"

Stillness and silence falls. The trees have long since smothered any winds or ambience from the nearby town. Haku's false smile remains up, but she prepares to make use of her senbon at any given moment. "And what brings you to ask that?"

Naruto shrugs and keeps both hands visible. No signs of conflict can show, for now. "No threat. Yoko already sniffed you out before ya saw me and remembered your scent from the last fight…" Said kit pops from the earth at his side and yips up to him. "and I have intel from some of the women Gato's been using that suggests he doesn't plan to pay either of you."

Her eyes narrow as Naruto lays his cards on the table. "Is that so?... So you propose a truce on the grounds of the lack of benefit to us fighting any longer?"

"Yep. Simple as that. If you're willing to take a step further yet, we can topple the imp together and both take a cut from his pockets on the way out, free his slaves, round up his thugs, the works." Naruto knew he had her the moment he mentioned freeing the slaves. Her façade broke for just a moment.

"… I'll hear you out, but I'm not sure if Zabuza will agree."

"Good enough for me."

.

.

Partway around the island, on the towering unnamed bridge between Nami and Hi, the real Naruto perks up and saunters over from his post to Kakashi. A quick exchange of whispers, and Kakashi creates a clone behind a set of crates beside him, which immediately dashes off into the woods. "Good work, Naruto. Just make sure you get your supplies to Sakura so she can make those concoctions for you, and we should be set."

Naruto shakes his head and looks out to the sea of blonde, black, and orange scrambling about the end of the bridge, carrying supplies, inspecting the underside by walking upside-down, and taking measurements of various parts of the structure. "I have a few other steps in mind, and Tazuna already approved them as long as I use my clones to help with construction and speed things up. Layer this Plan A and Plan B together, and we've got a lot covered, and Plan C can involve all the aspects of A and B rearranged. Be careful how you layer your traps, sensei. You never know what order they'll be tripped in, so make it flexible."

Kakashi hums and tilts his head. "I suppose that's right. Most shinobi are trained to be sure what traps are set in what order by guessing the opponent's logic, while layering obvious traps with less obvious ones. But, you're the expert in this field. Considering the number of pranks you've caught me in, I'd defer to your logic here." He sighs and rubs the back of this neck. "Traps have never been quite my forte. Always much more of an infiltration, assassination, and direct combat type."

"Those are the most important fields in the entire shinobi force, though." Naruto shrugs. "Nothing wrong with it, and nobody can know everything. I'm a supposed 'trap expert', yet I'm still constantly running into new questions and spending weeks looking for answers."

Kakashi chuckles and leans forwards and off the crate stack, slowly walking off with his hands deep in his pockets. "Truer words, Naruto. Keep it up, and just be sure to warn us about whatever traps you have set up here."

Naruto soon starts to chuckle as Kakashi walks away, his clones joining in one by one until it becomes a chorus of maniacal laughter. His entire team trembles at the thought of what perversions of logic and twisted weaponry the young blonde is preparing. Tazuna can only grin and laugh along with them as he swings too and fro in a drunken stupor. "Keep working, brats! We're making incredible time!"

.

.

Iruka wanders through the village, now in the civilian garb of a sand-colored vest and pants with a white shirt that has Naruto's Uzumaki Clan symbol in blue on it, in a sort of multi-shaded tie-dye pattern. He'd taken to that symbol all too willingly, recalling how much he looked up to Kushina as sort of his nee-san. To now have adopted Naruto, he truly felt he may as well be a member of the clan. Now, ludicrous amounts of chakra he may not have, but he does share one common aspect of the clan, so it's not too far-fetched.

He stumbles to a halt at the sight of a young lad curled up in a crate at the curb of nearly empty lot. All that remains there is ash and blackened beams. The stucco walls had crumbled in the flames and left no wall standing. Little does he know, the scrawny raven-haired child in the crate is the very same Sasuke had defended a few days prior. He's accumulated a few things in his crate since. He's gotten a small rug along the bottom, and a blanket to wrap himself in to keep warm in the night. A tarp overtop it blocks out the occasional rain, keeping his temporary home dry. He's clearly a resilient young lad, valuable in his position and in this shinobi-run world.

The moment Iruka catches sight of the boy, he knows just what to do. He can't take him in himself, not enough room at home, and not financially stable enough for another mouth to feed. But, he knows someone who can and would. Two old friends of his happen to be looking to have a kid of their own, but… neither one is able to handle an infant, and one's injuries from her career have prevented her from ever bearing children. Adopting this young lad would be the perfect solution. "Yugao, Hayate… You two are gonna owe me for this one." He chuckles and walks up to the crate with a smile, kneeling down to check on the now cowering young boy. "Everything's alright. I'm not here to hurt you. If you're willing to let me, I'd actually like to help you."

The boy slowly peeks up to him through his overgrown hair, his green eyes faded and unfocused. "W... W-Why?"

Iruka chuckles as he drops down to sit in front of the crate. "Because I've been where you are. No friends to rely on, no family left, no home to return to. It happened when I was a bit older than you, though." He looks to the day's cloudy sky, reminiscing on those almost soul-crushing days. "Nobody deserves to be left like that. I know people here in this village are struggling to support themselves, you won't find a stable family here. But you will in Konoha, and you'll be safe there. So what do ya say?" He reaches out to take the boy's hand. Will you come with me?"

Silence falls as the gentle ocean breeze blows between them. The young one is conflicted, unsure if he can trust a complete stranger after another had burned his home down, and others had harmed him, but… that will to survive, and the faintest glimmer of hope, pushes him to reach out-

"Oy, away from the brat." The boy withdraws into his crate as a small crew of thugs arrives at Iruka's back. Two of them are hefting iron clubs over their shoulders, with the third carrying an unwieldy- too much so to be intimidating- odachi. Iruka doesn't even need to look to know none of them are professionals. He could hear them coming from the other end of the block, and instantly knew they'd be a problem.

Despite the danger the boy perceives, he's stunned into silence by the patient smile on Iruka's face. The teacher, far from his office as he is, maintains a professional air about him when dealing with unruly brats. These thugs certainly aren't matured enough to be considered adults.

He slowly turns to look over his shoulder at them, arms crossed and eternally casual. "Can't you three see I'm in the middle of a conversation here? I know you're hired thugs, but you should have a bit more respect than that." Just as the first thug swings his club down, Iruka rolls out of the way and upside-down before pushing off the ground and thrusting a skyward kick into the offending fool's nose. He stumbles back in pain and drops his weapon, which Iruka picks up with chakra adhesion on his foot and slings into the second man's gut. The third stares Iruka dead in the eye for a moment before swinging his odachi down with a wild, curving, vertical swing. The scarred shinobi redirects the blade with a single backhanded kunai, then stabs them in the bicep to ruin their muscle control and make them drop the blade. He screams out as the blade clatters to the dirt road, only to be silenced with a swift leaping knee to the jaw, clacking his teeth together and rattling his skull out of consciousness. "There. Now go home and think about what you've done."

.

.

Traditional clan compounds of Konoha are old and formal architecture. Barely polished wood panels, clay shingles, white stucco, and a generous length of porches acting as outdoor hallways. The Hyuuga compound is also full of and surrounded by cobbled walls, zen gardens with Edo styled bridges over private koi ponds, and sakura trees scattered throughout. Traditional, clean, pristine, and prestigious.

But one room even the greatest of guests- short of the Hokage- never get to see.

The council chamber is hidden within what appears to be one of the larger residential compounds, just a tad smaller than the ruling family's compound. The entrance cannot be found by regular means, as a seal-enforced genjutsu is placed over it, which only a byakugan or sharingan user would be able to naturally see through.

Inside the chamber, three rising tiers of seats are filled with the elderly and valuable of the clan, their aged and judgmental eyes staring down the clan head currently kneeling before them all. Hiashi could count on being called to this chamber at least once a week, bare minimum. This particular meeting was far from scheduled, but he knew all too well what it must be concerning.

"Hiashi…" One of the oldest and most confident elders speaks with a raspy tone, but his voice has remained as deep as in his prime. "Your daughter has shown flagrant disrespect for the clan's arts. Not only has she completely ignored our sacred Jyuuken style, but she's been training in elemental manipulation. Our clan is founded upon the use of raw chakra. Anything less is disgraceful."

"Not only this…" A woman ten seat to his left and one down speaks up with a nasal whine. "She's injured her sparring partners with these elemental techniques and disrupted the peace and tranquility of our gardens with her training."

"What have you to say for your offspring, Hiashi?" Worthless words coming from Hiashi's own father, who watched one of his children die without a care in the world and speaking of his own granddaughter as nothing but a nuisance. Hiashi had lost all love for the man many years ago, long before being wed to his late wife, but now, there was even contempt rising from the emotionless pit between them.

His reply would have to be absolute. A combination of offense to drive their threats back and defense to prevent any further.

"… My words for her are for her ears and mine alone, council. As for what I have to say for you, it is not quite as kind." He narrows his eyes, almost activating his Byakugan, but stopping just short of it. To turn it on and prove the loss of his temper would be disastrous, but to stop short and prove anger and control in equal measure is a powerful deterrent. "We are indeed a powerful and noble clan, but that does not deny us what we are founded upon, and what the greatest of us were and are: shinobi. And a shinobi is what my daughter is now proving herself. To be one is to be injured and keep fighting, to adapt against adversity and around or through whatever stands against you. At first, I must admit, I agreed with you all, that my daughter was weak and not fit to lead this clan or act as a shinobi."

He sighs deeply and closes his eyes for just a moment, proving shame for the briefest of moments, only to insist that they too should feel the same. Only when he knows it's sunk in does he open his eyes and stare into theirs, one after another in quick precession. "At first. Now, I see I, and all of you, were far from correct. My daughter has now found her strengths and adapted to shinobi life in her own way. If you were to directly observe her instead of following the word of spiteful members of the main house who despise her growth, you would see that her style adapts the Jyuuken into something analogous but casting aside the rigid and constricting stances for something more fluid. Looking into our archives, into the branches of styles once used by this clan until we became so puritan, there was a form known as the Ame no Jyuuken. She has adapted this very form and recreated it through sheer determination to succeed." His eyes narrow into silver daggers upon his father's eyes. "I do believe mother was one of the last to use this style, if you may recall."

Knowing he's nearly sealed his argument, he stands, refusing to kneel before the elder council with his final statement. "You may have already counted Hinata out as my successor and heir to the clan, and I may have been close to following suit once before, but as the issue stands now, she is more fit to become our clan head than any of you will ever agree upon. Do not forget that I alone am head of this clan, and my word is final, no matter the sway you may have. She will remain the heiress as of now, and if any acts are taken to impede her progress, there will be consequences, no matter your rank, for the sake of our clan's future." He doesn't need to activate his Byakugan against them to know by their expressions that many wish to speak out. It's for this reason that he finally tips over the edge into open rebellion, activating his Byakugan and inflicting as powerful of a killing intent as he can muster. "And for those of you who choose to vote against this ruling, know that should you be the minority, there will be dire consequences for your transgressions."

The silence of the chamber is consumed by seething rage and shock as Hiashi marches out of the chamber. His eyes shut off just as he leaves the room, recomposing himself in time to witness the subject of this latest argument in the midst of her training.

Hinata sits in the center of the nearest koi pond, not on a stone, bridge, or island, but on the water, meditating as the water ripples outwards in time with her heartbeat. It's not entirely still otherwise, as her own movements- from involuntary twitches to breathing- interrupt it, but the scene is tranquil, nonetheless. Surrounding her are dozens of leaves scattered about and cut in half, floating upon the water and slowly pushed by each ripple, closer and closer to the edge.

Chapter 14: Secret Weapons

Chapter Text

Pulleys, hinges, levers, tripwires, and pressure plates. As a habitual and rampant prankster, Naruto had come to see the entire world as his playground of tiny mechanisms to take advantage of. If a store that overcharged him had a hanging sign out front, he saw the sign as the perfect opportunity to rig up a discrete itching powder dispenser that used the shaking caused by people passing underneath to disperse tiny amounts of its contents every time someone enters the store. If the teachers at the academy intentionally screwed up one of his lessons, he would use their desk drawers as a pressure switch to unleash a blast of whatever noxious concoction he could get his hands on. Lesser infractions incurred paint bombs or glitter.

And then he learned he could make a living off this talent.

It opened his eyes to a whole new reality and made him see the world as not just harmless pranks- but a mechanic to harm someone with some unfortunate circ*mstance at any given moment. Any location, any physical mechanic built into the surroundings, could be used to rig up one of his beautiful machinations of pain and humiliation. It was a challenge to find the right trap for any circ*mstance, to handle any opponent.

This bridge is his greatest challenge yet.

Architecturally, it's sound, it's solid, and free of the many vices that could leave it open to his trickery. Naruto's many machinations require moving parts, closed spaces, or loose soil. None of that is here, no place to hide his toys, no naturally existing mechanisms to take advantage of as a part of his strategy, and no natural landmarks to reshape and process into a usable form. A blank slate upon which he can only build, but building anything upon it would be all too obvious.

How does one turn an immovable blank slate into a successful trap?

Even Kakashi was dubious on the possibility of it in such a space, at least for the first few hours. They all knew the battle would have to take place here, it was the perfect arena in which their opponents would have an overwhelming elemental advantage. It's also somewhere they would all be required to be as a part of their mission and efforts to complete the bridge and free this country from Gato's grasp. It had to be here, and so, they had to find some way to even the odds against Zabuza and his partner. But could they?

Kakashi's answer came in the form of more and more of Naruto's teeth showing as his grin widens and his clones scattered across the bridge begin to laugh maniacally for the third time that day.

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Yamanaka Ino tends to be underestimated. In more practical shinobi arts, she's certainly subpar, but more advanced and specified arts are more her specialty. When it came to information, none in her generation were nearly as capable as Ino. Her ability to psychologically profile someone within minutes is almost unnatural. Her talent for gossip allows her to gather information from all corners of the village and then compare and contrast varying conflicting rumors, then confirm it through rigorous research. Of course, very few would expect that her close contact with the Anbu and T&I division through her father was one of her most valuable resources, despite her lack of clearance.

She's always been smarter than most gave her credit for between her bouts of fangirlism-induced madness, and her recent research has become some of the most critical proof of that fact.

But what really shocked the clan was one trick in particular she began researching with a dose of help from one of their brother clans, the Akamichi. Those pills are far from a secret for the active shinobi of the Yamanaka clan, but to think someone would dare to produce a less dangerous alternative through their botanical knowledge and the addition of chakra conducting and containing roots of the Senju clan's trees is incredible. Not only has it improved the quality of the Akamichi's pills, with the Hokage's permission to access the roots oft cast aside when Senju trees are cut, but given Ino the component needed to test the next great step in her revolution of her family's jutsu.

She stands at her father's office door, going over her questions and demands thrice more, and with a final burst of confidence, she knocks and call out. "Daddy! I have a few questions regarding my jutsu experiments."

Slowly, the office door opens, and Inoichi stares down at his daughter with scrutinizing eyes. He knew she had approached, and how long she had been standing there. Obviously, she was about to ask for some potentially critical and dangerous information. It wouldn't be the first time.

"… Very well, then. Come right in, princess." He sets the door aside and waves her in, then upon closing it, triggers his silencing seals and returns to his seat. "So, what exactly is it you're working on? I was impressed enough with your new chakra pills, but I suppose that was just step one of your plan, wasn't it?"

She grins almost co*ckily. "As usual, you don't need our jutsu to read my mind, daddy. Yep, I'm workin on something big." She pulls a scroll from her pocket and slowly unfurls it. "Our clan doesn't really use clones, for the obvious reason of our lack of enough chakra to really take advantage of them. But I noticed something contradicting that in our clan's history." She peeks up from her scroll. "Great grandpa Isao helped the Nidaime make the Kage Bunshin. He provided the necessary components to add their cognitive and recollective ability. He made the Kage Bunshin the ultimate tool for safely collecting intel and providing clones capable of using every skill the original knows."

Inoichi's brow furls. He knew all too well that his grandfather has done this, but he'd never thought much of it. He had aided a Kage, one known to be a grand genius, just as the two that followed him, but… how much had Isao actually provided, and how much of it could be used for their own jutsu? Isao's death was under unknown circ*mstances. He died young, in combat in the first war, using a technique that none could identify. Could that be...?

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Having breakfast at Tazuna's on the seventh day, one would expect things to be slow and tense. They know Zabuza is most likely to arrive today, and Gato is getting impatient. There's a drastic fight ahead of them, and very little they can do to avoid it.

Instead, their newest arrival, a young boy named Hideki whom Sasuke and Iruka had both rescued, is eagerly chatting away between everyone as he digs into his first real meal in weeks. He rants and rambles about how cool he thinks Sasuke's team and Iruka are, though never commenting on Kakashi, as the man had done nothing in his presence yet. He still has rice stuck to his face as he speaks more with his body than with words, flailing about and trying to mimic everyone's techniques. Of course, both Iruka and Kakashi pick up on signs of the boy already having some impressive physical conditioning, possibly caused by the local poverty and necessity for survival.

His future in Konoha would be bright.

"-and then you-!"

"Ok, that's enough." Sasuke grabs the boy's ankle as he nearly gets kicked in the jaw. Despite his annoyance, he can't help but appreciate how much the boy admires their work. "You're gonna break something at this rate." He releases the boy's foot, and he pouts and drops back into his seat. "Besides, we can be so much cooler than that. We'll have to show you sometime, but there'll be better days for that ahead. Today, we need to finish our mission, and you need to stay here and safe in the meantime."

"H-Hey!" he jumps back from his seat and tries to tower over the seated genin. "Why can't I come? You guys protected me before, why can't you protect me today?"

Naruto ruffles his hair as he stands. "Because the guys we're up against are as tough as us, and we already have to protect Tazuna. We can't protect you both at the battlefield, so you stay here and wait for us to get back, ok?" On his way to the door, he peeks out the window to his left and sees Jiraiya seated in a tree, watching over the house. His skills would be wasted on this bridge today, but he's more than welcome here watching over Tazuna's family and Hideki. Chances of Gato throwing a few thugs their way are pretty likely, of course. But, just in case… "And whatever you do, stay inside. I'll be rigging all the entrances and exits with some of my traps, but staying inside won't trip any of them. I'll disarm them all when we get back."

"Wait.." Nami stumbles towards the door. "What?" Just as she gets there, the door shuts, and a series of seals trigger that lock it up as tight as the Hokage's vault. She rattles the handle a few times, but the glowing seals upon the door gravitate towards the seals tagged onto the doorframe and prevent any more than a millimeter's shift under her meager strength. This seal impacts both the inside and outside of the door, but the seals Naruto then tags the outside with are prepared for anyone who attempts to break in before his return.

Naruto shrugs and turns to walk off without a word, hands deep in his pockets. Tazuna looks between the genin and the door frantically. "A-Are you sure that's a good idea? Like, those aren't gonna blow up like your seals yesterday, right?!"

"Those were designed to blow up. Unless I took that last batch out of the wrong pocket, those ones are designed to stab." He pauses and tilts his head skyward. ".. Was that the left or right jacket pocket?"

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Sarutobi Hiruzen sits at the back of his office, chair swiveled away to take in the ever-enchanting view of the village from his many windows. He'd been the second-longest standing Kage of all time, and it still hadn't gotten old. He'd watched this village grow from it's early days, helped it rise to its current greatness. How many of these buildings had he commissioned? How much larger had this place grown under his watchful eyes and guiding hand? If anything, this would be the one thing his dear departed sensei would be most proud of him for. How much this village has grown and prospered under his rule.

But the greater a tree grows, the more at risk it is of parasites and infections.

Hiruzen grumbles to himself and fiddles with his pipe. Danzo… He's been eerily silent. The man used to hound him constantly for militaristic legislature, or insisting on training shinobi in the morally vacant arts at younger ages. Now he only ever saw the fool either during council meetings or on his rare excursion to his favorite public park to sit beneath the village's oldest sakura tree.

Too silent. The man may be old, but they were same damn age, and Hiruzen would be damned if his workaholic rival had let himself decay into retirement while he had the hat. ROOT still had to be operating, but he was keeping it more covert than ever. ROOT operations in Konoha had gone entirely unspotted for quite some time. No identifiable recruitments, no unauthorized bases uncovered, and no operatives caught in four years. So how was he doing it?

Largely foreign operations? Likely; Eliminating foreign "threats" pre-emptively was always his MO, no matter their innocence.

Bases set outside of Konoha? Maybe some, but not central. He values the village too highly for that. Only other possibility then is he's found a concealment method that his own Anbu lack a workaround for just yet.

Recruit through foreign bases. Collect selected shinobi from high-risk missions, report all units dead. Settle deals with orphanages outside his jurisdiction. Always keep about a third of his forces on hand at home at all times, the rest scattered in foreign bases to receive missions and warn of potential offending parties. Easy for them to run interference while retreating in the event of an unforeseen large attack force. Efficient, inconspicuous if done right, and very difficult to pin down, especially since his bases always have self-destruct protocols that go off with a hair trigger. He always has contingencies for contingencies, traps over-

His head bolts upright as the Will of Fire sparks brilliance.

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Right on cue. Kakashi saunters to the lead of the pack as they approach the bridge, finding cut and bloodstained bodies scattered about the supply stations on their end of the bridge. All brilliantly executed and in the middle of menial labor. Left open to assault with their hands occupied. Textbook, but in such mass at once and at such speed is certainly the work of an expert.

No sense in holding back. He raises his headband and his sharingan spins freely.

"Alright, kids. You know the drill. Defend our man at all costs and pull no punches. Our opponents are true professionals, and they will not hesitate to kill us at any moment." He grumbles as a thin mist develops, approaching the bridge, but leaving most visibility intact for now. "He's taunting us…"

Naruto chuckles and throws his arms behind his head. "Well, if someone taunts you, taunt in kind." He walks right onto the bridge and calls out without a care. "Oy, Captain Steaknife, did ya use that thing to skin the cow ya used for those obnoxious legwarmers? They make my buddy Lee's bright orange ones look good!"

A bark of laughter far across the bridge in thicker fog is followed by the fog slowly thinning to reveal five figures standing across the bridge. At the center of the troop is the great Momochi Zabuza, blade across his shoulders as stares a hole into the back of the second man's head.

Said dead man is none other than the subject of much of Naruto's intel, Rokusho Aoi. His attire, since leaving Konoha, has been modified into a relatively standard Ame skin-tight wetsuit, but sleeveless and faded blue. Upon his back is an upturned umbrella, but much more interesting is the bladeless pommel in his hand. Kakashi's eyes narrow on the blade as lightning sparks between his fingers for just a fraction of a second. Aoi is grinning cluelessly. "Good one, kid! I like your style."

"I'd say the same about you, but your head looks like someone put seaweed through a trash compactor to make a kindergarten theater wig."

Aoi's face contorts with disgust and rage, only to lose that disgust in place of more rage as the two remaining henchmen break into helpless laughter. These two are of course the returning Demon Twins, their chained gauntlet at the ready once more and prepared to rend their foes asunder… as soon as they can pick themselves off the floor. Behind them all, even Zabuza is chuckling and grinning like a madman, despite remaining alert. His masked companion Haku to the rear left is thus far silent.

Zabuza sighs in relief and places his free hand on his hip, shaking his head. "Oh, I needed that one. Thanks, brat. Now, which one of you wants to die first?"

"I'll take them myself." Aoi grunts and steps forwards with a growl, as raw lightning chakra begins to pour from the Raijin no Ken in his right hand.

Kakashi nods and waves forward from his left. "Sasuke, you've got this one." The last loyal Uchiha nods and steps forth without a word.

Aoi snorts and puts on his usual co*cky grin. "What? I already said I'd kill all of you myself. You really wanna send this boy to the slaughter on his own?"

Sasuke rolls his neck and smirks. "I'm all we need to take you out. Just try me."

Aoi's smile fades as he narrows a glare Sasuke's way. "Fine… it's your funeral."

Haku leans towards Zabuza and whispers to him. "Uh… aren't we going to divvy up the rest of them and start fighting?"

Zabuza waves her off. "No, no, I wanna see this. I've been waiting so goddamn long to watch this obnoxious son of a bitch die."

Aoi grits his teeth and growls, reaching for the umbrella on his back. "That's it! Everyone dies!" He throws the umbrella skywards and it hovers in the air. While suspended, he shifts through a series of handsigns and grins maliciously. "Jouro Senbon!" The umbrella begins to spin rapidly, unleashing a salvo of senbon in all directions and littering the bridge with them. Nowhere is safe, save for the wall of ice Haku raises to defend herself and Zabuza.

The Demon Brothers both scramble to escape this sudden bout of friendly fire, but end up running in opposite directions and pulling at their already wounded arms, leaving them in prime locations to receive a few dozen senbon each and slump over against the ice wall as the poison coated on the needles sinks in. One calls out from the wall, immobilized and slurring. "You fff*ckin' asshole! You better have a f*ckin' antidote!"

Aoi chuckles and shakes his head. "Sorry, you're not worth wasting it on. You two outlived your usefulness anyway." Turning back to the Konoha troop he fully expects to be dead, he instead finds a wall of dried mud that caught every senbon flung in their direction. "You've gotta be sh*tting me."

"We're not."

Aoi just barely ducks to his right in time to avoid a horizontal swipe of Sasuke's own blade, a chokuto with a black and crimson laced tsuka. Looking over his shoulder, he finds the veins in Sasuke's eyes starting to part and seep blood into his onyx irises.

He vaults backwards and draws Raijin no Ken from his belt, swinging into Sasuke's blade and fully expecting the boy to attempt to block with it. Sasuke instead attempts to dodge beneath the blade, seeing the fault in blocking a blade made of pure lightning chakra, but he fails to sweep his blade low enough in time. A powerful shock courses through him, ripping a scream from the genin's throat as he nearly drops off his feet. Seeing an opening to strike, Aoi thrusts his foot into Sasuke's gut and sends him tumbling back across the bridge. "Are you really stupid enough to cross blades with me?!"

Sasuke grunts as he stumbles to his feet, then sheathes his blade at his back. "… You're right. I wanted to test myself in front of one of the Seven Swordsmen, but my blade's just a liability here…" He shifts into his standard combat stance and narrows his eyes. His sharingan is now developed to it's incomplete state, but more than enough to provide the boost he needs. "But I don't need it to kill you."

"Fine then!" He spreads his arms and leaves himself wide open. "Come at me, then!"

Sasuke takes one slow step forward- then streaks forwards with a burst of chakra from his foot, passing by the man's left. Aoi sees this coming and moves to block with his stolen blade, but Sasuke remains just out of its range. He skids to a stop behind Aoi, and despite the mild whiplash he's certain he'll receive, he bolts towards the man's back- aiming for the left still where he'll least expect it. He was right on the money, and gets one good jab in with his Mahiken, stunning the foolish wannabe swordsman and obliterating his guard. "W-What?!"

Sasuke smirks as he lands three more blows with Mahiken in quick succession, and just as Ao manages to power through and swing the Raijin no Ken regardless, he supercharges his Mahiken for just a moment to smack the blade aside with minimal stunning to himself and gets a solid jab to Aoi's right elbow.

Down goes the Raijin no Ken.

Kakashi grins beneath his mask. "And here it comes."

Mahiken is a versatile and powerful skill, but far from the lethal tool of a shinobi. It can debilitate an opponent with ease, but dealing actual damage is something else entirely. Exactly why Sasuke chose to create this next addition to his arsenal.

As the shining blue sparks of electricity in his hands die out, an entirely different spark lights as his hands are shrouded in flame. "Meoruken!" (Burning Fist)

Each following blow in Sasuke's constant flurry lands with searing heat, cooking his flesh and setting the man's clothes ablaze. As Aoi stumbles back from each blow as second degree burns pile up across him, some on the verge of third, he leaves his guard open enough for Sasuke to grab his headband and channel fire chakra into it. This burns the Ame headband onto his forehead and leaves him screaming in agony- just before Sasuke kicks up the Raijin no Ken and catches it. His natural lightning affinity produces a longer blade, which cleaves clean through Aoi's neck and cuts his screams short.

Sasuke scoffs and wipes a few sparse specks of blood from his face as the body drops. "I guess I should seal that head for the bounty, shouldn't I?"

Kakashi nods and tosses the boy a scroll. "Go right ahead."

Off to the side, Zabuza starts a slow clap. "Excellent work, kid. Nice to see that self-important prick get what was comin' to 'em. I'd say you earned that blade…" He slowly starts to grin beneath his mask. "But let's see if you've got what it takes to survive m-"

The entire population of the bridge is silenced as the entire end section of the bridge Zabuza stands on splits in half and folds like a book onto him, slamming shut with incredible speed. Naruto watches his handiwork from atop the mud wall with a grin. Axis placed in the bridge itself during construction two days ago, with two very large weights provided by Tazuna's stocks of raw steel beams marked with gravity seals as the counterweights to force the whole thing to close on itself and crush anyone between the two halves in one swift move-

But it halts short of crushing them as Zabuza wedges them apart with Kubikiriboucho, hanging from his blade's tsuka with a blank, unamused glare. Haku is nowhere to be seen. "… Alright, I'm impressed, brat. But now you've gotta die."

Chapter 15: Double-Tapped

Chapter Text

Uzumaki Naruto is stunned into silence. Half a week of work on a single, brilliant trap. It's both the simplest and most complex design he's ever made, and the largest scale lethal effect he's ever produced. A true masterpiece that he pulled out of his ass.

And now, right before him, it stands sprung, yet ineffective. A single man no-sold his trap and now hangs from his sword with one arm in the kill zone without so much as a scratch, let alone the fatally crushed body he was banking on.

In most cases of his traps being duds, Naruto would be enraged. He'd pull the whole thing apart and berate the trap itself before berating himself for its faults and making something twice as effective.

In this case, all that can be found on Naruto's face is abject horror.

He stammers aimlessly and silently as his greatest trump card to date is proven a complete waste. It's a shame, really, to learn such a drastic lesson about shinobi life during such a critical mission.

You never open with your trump card.

"So…" Zabuza grumbles as he hangs there loosely. "Let's try this again."

Suddenly, the weight seals underneath the bridge break their chains and fall to the sea, and the two folded slabs fall back into place. Zabuza stands to the left of the split and rolls his shoulder. "Lesson one, kiddies. Learn to focus on multiple opponents at once."

Haku appears behind Sasuke and swings a backhanded kunai into his jugular- only to hit nothing as the genjutsu fades. She suspects as much, and the moment her toe touches the ground, she pulses chakra into it and leaps from the bridge and twenty feet into the air, clean over the fireball that nearly torches her from behind. She wheels around in the air and throws a scattering of senbon towards the fireball's origins, before falling off the bridge and into the water, where she simply disappears.

The incoming senbon are handled with a quick Mud Wall thanks to Naruto and replied to via Sakura casting another genjutsu that causes her and Tazuna to split into multiple faded images sent in separate directions. Somehow, every one of them was audible, despite being a genjutsu. They scatter to the far end of the bridge, but two are quickly intercepted by Haku leaping back onto the bridge and stabbing them both with a pair of kunai. As she suspected, they both disappear- but not by fading. They burst into smoke. "Damn…" She backs away and off the bridge again before running along the underside-

Only to find Sasuke intercepting her there. He runs upside-down and full-sprint, wielding his sword backhanded and aimed forth to stab with his arm crossing over his chest defensively. She barely ducks back from his first swing, arching back to plant her hands on the bridge and freeze one in place to hang there. She uses her free hand to produce an ice shield against the next swing, then dislodges herself and drops straight into the water and out of sight in a pencil dive.

Up on top of the bridge, Zabuza's water clones scatter and chase down the other clones while Haku is occupied. One by one, the water clones track down pairs of Sakura and Tazuna.

The first tracks his pair into the woods just past the bridge. That clone manages to just barely catch sight of them before a series of exploding tags buried just beneath the dirt goes off. The damage is enough to kill the clone instantly, but it's conscious long enough to see the pair it chased laugh at his demise and pop into plumes of smoke.

The second clone finds its prey huddled between two massive stacks of I-beams prepared for the bridge's construction. His attempts are quickly halted by a pair of seals tucked into two of the beams attracting them to each other and crushing him between them.

Three and four split up at a fork where two pairs of clones had separated. The water clone to the left steps on a cluster of exploding tags and splashes the surrounding forestry. The explosion manages to distract the clone that turned left just long enough to take a blow to the back of the head. He's reduced to a puddle with that one unseen strike.

Sakura sighs in relief and flicks the water off her kunai. "Damn good thing Naruto's clones can act so much like us. That spy training is scary flexible."

Tazuna grumbles and huffs, hunched over and wondering if he'll manage to catch his breath before he hurls. He can't recall having ever run that fast in his life, but mortal fear can motivate you to do some crazy things. "Are you sure there aren't more?"

She nods and casts a few layers of genjutsu to mask their location. "Yeah, I'm sure. He wouldn't make an unnecessary number of them, and he's really full of himself. That, and solid clones are expensive, no matter what kind they are."

"Wait, but…" He peeks up to her with haunted eyes. "How the hell does Naruto make so many?"

".. He's… a special case. He has more chakra than anyone I know, and he knows how to throw it around. He's wasteful, but he's getting better, and smarter." She grins. "He'll never be as smart as me, but his mind is a terrifying place, and nobody can top his unique brand of madness."

Back on the bridge, Naruto's blowing through handsigns as Zabuza approaches and billows mist like a steam engine on a warpath. The mist overtakes him halfway to Naruto, completely shrouding him, but Naruto finishes his signs on Hitsuji just as he's done inhaling. He screams out alongside a pressurized air wave. "ATSUGAI!" The solid blast of wind batters and scatters the mist, but there's no sign of Zabuza. Naruto takes a moment to peek out his surroundings, but his eyes widen as he turns around-

Thankfully, Kakashi's standing there to intercept Zabuza's blade with two kunai. The cyclops snorts and pushes the assassin back. "You're still weak from our last fight. All the blast damage must have almost ruined your right arm, didn't it?" Naruto scurried away and out of sight while Kakashi keeps Zabuza occupied.

Haku returns to the top of the bridge and rushes to Zabuza's aid, but Sasuke rushes into her path with his hands sparking. She ducks under his first swing and only feels the mild tingle of static before channeling ice into her arms and blocking the following elbow with her encased hand. Sasuke scoffs and pushes her off, tracking her movements with his two-tomoe eyes. At this point, he's developed chakra vision, and can easily tell that elemental chakra is being channeled into the ice. For it to resist his lightning, it must be composed of wind as well as water. Under that logic, they're at a stalement in taijutsu. His Mahiken and Meoruken are both cut off by one of her two elements, ensuring a stalemate in their jutsu in all cases. Hot against cold in equal power. Their combat styles couldn't be farther from each other, but they're almost equal- if not for the sudden stabbing pain Sasuke feels in his right shoulder when she jabs out. He blocked the jab, but she'd thrown a senbon at the same time. His right arm's mobility is cut down considerably. That gives her more than enough openings to slip in another on his right bicep. He attempts to block the third with his left arm, but he overextends and receives a senbon in his left elbow. Each strike and stab reduces his defenses and speed enough for her to soon stick his leg and back up to cast her favorite jutsu. The water scattered across the bridge by the mist's condensation and popped water clones converges and rises to form a dome of mirrors. She Produces one directly behind herself first and sinks into it in time to avoid a kunai Sasuke had thrown in desperation to interrupt her technique. It bounces harmlessly off the ice as several other mirrors form to surround Sasuke, locking him within the glacial cage. Though the bars are wide, he'll soon find it impossible to escape.

Zabuza growls and pushes Kakashi with all the strength he can muster, forcing him to shift one leg and adjust his stance to lean into Zabuza. This gives him an opening for a leg sweep, but Kakashi leaps over it. This allows him to slam Kakashi down with his blade, but he lands in a crouch and holds the blade up long enough to slip under it and off to his left, getting out from under the blade while Zabuza's balance is off. He attempts a sweep on the one leg Zabuza now stands on, but Zabuza stabs the ground and pulls himself away from Kakashi's range before cleaving a chunk of the bridge's surface off as he rips the blade up and swings it overhead onto Kakashi's outstretched leg. Kakashi spins his leg out of the way and crouches onto that foot before launching himself sideways along the flat of the blade and slashing at Zabuza's side. He attempts to sidestep the kunai, but takes a long and shallow cut along his right shoulder and some of his back. He ignores the pain and swings a 240 degree cleave as Kakashi lands behind him. Kakashi manages to leap past the blade's range, turning and skidding to face Zabuza before shifting through handsigns and raising a Mud Wall of his own. Zabuza growls and charges to get over the wall, but manages to instead land on a line of wire suspended an inch above the top of the wall, nearly imperceptible in these dimly lit conditions.

But Kakashi's sharingan could see it clear as day and knew Zabuza's best retreat route would be covered.

Two separate seals on opposite pillars noting the entrance of the bridge trigger at once. Both rapidly unseal a flurry of kunai that flank Zabuza from both sides and approach at the same speed Naruto would have thrown them. Of course, the spread is too small and they're far too slow to catch him, so he leaps off the wall unhindered-

Only to hear the distinct popping of a dropped henge behind him. His eyes go bloodshot as he peeks back to find the kunai becoming more of Naruto's clones and unleashing their own salvos of kunai. All the while, Kakashi is charging his own favorite jutsu twenty feet in front of Zabuza. Blue lightning sparks in his right hand and trails along the ground beneath him, arcing in random directions and spreading out to burn spastic patterns into the stone.

Sasuke ducks and weaves away from senbon salvo thrown so quickly even his sharingan has trouble perceiving them. He's at least managed to start working out a pattern in Haku's movements between mirrors, as her potential paths are limited and set. This allows him to predict her movements somewhat and avoid most attacks, but his body can't keep up with his eyes. The senbon piercing him continue to stack. The wounds aren't too bad, but the culmination is becoming debilitating. She's landing hits faster and more successively the longer this drags on. So far, attempting to attack the mirrors have proven useless, as once again, the combined water and wind chakra in this ice counteracts him flawlessly. "Damnit, dobe…" He ducks away from another set aimed at his face, but a senbon hidden in the shadow of another targets his left foot and pierces through to his sandals. He cringes and pulls that senbon free before leaping away from the next salvo. He's careful to only remove those that would debilitate him too much to salvage the fight, but at this rate, he knows he can't handle her on his own. "Get your ass in gear and find me a way out of this…"

No sooner than he says this does an explosion go off on the far end of the mirror cage. Although the mirror survives the blast, it does crack significantly and disconnect from the pattern of the structure, leaving a wider gap and a hole in the bridge beneath it. Sasuke rushes in to duck into the hole, but he knows she'll be on his tail. He leaps and spins as he breathes out a fireball, creating a burning barrier between himself and Haku. She'll be forced to either attempt passing through the flames to attack or lose him entirely.

She chooses option C and throws a volley of senbon through the fire. When it clears, she sees Sasuke kneeling with his back turned, senbon littering his legs. She approaches for a finishing blow, but he fades from sight and leaves an exploding tag underfoot. She barely backs away into the furthest mirror fast enough to escape being dismembered.

Zabuza swings his blade backwards and produces a concussive blast of air strong enough to deter Naruto's kunai before landing blade-first and doing a handstand on the pommel. As Kakashi leaps up to run Raikiri through him, Zabuza swings down and hides behind his blade, then runs through one-handed signs, ending on Mi, before ripping his blade from the bridge. Water condenses around the blade and fires off in a razor-thin arc. Kakashi rolls forwards in the air until he's upside-down and facing the water blade. His Raikiri cuts it in half and disrupts the jutsu, but the remainder of it blasts past him and cuts through Naruto's clones, save for six who'd been tucked behind Kakashi.

Once Kakashi lands, he bolts back in and swings at Zabuza's blade just as he swings in to cleave off the scarecrow's head. Zabuza realizes his mistake instantly and uses a burst of chakra at his feet to leap back, but Raikiri sends a shock down his blade and through his arm at the last moment.

Zabuza rapidly backs away with his right hand barely holding onto his sword. He knows well enough that one jutsu can be the turning point of any battle, but he's rarely been on the receiving end of that. He's killed a fair share of jounin, but challenged very few elites.

First time since leaving Kiri that he's had a real challenge.

But then there's the brat.

While Zabuza backs away towards more of the construction supplies on the unfinished end of the bridge, his ears pick up a collection of footsteps between the beams and crates of powdered concrete. The problem is, he can't tell how many. Even the best assassin's ears can't pick out a number from the staccato of a crowd they can't see.

The numbers hardly matter, though. As he runs chakra through his arm to soothe the numbing and spasms, he converts it to water chakra and runs hand signs again before switching his blade back-handed and firing another water blade without having to turn around. The arc is wide enough to catch any on the ground and kill them in one stroke, but that motion still slips him up enough for Kakashi to catch up. Once again, he's forced to expose part of his arsenal. He swings his blade out defensively, blocking Raikiri with the flat of the blade, but holds his own without being shocked this time. Kakashi's eyes narrow as his sharingan picks up the undeniable tint of wind chakra running through his sword. "Of course you picked up wind. Did Kushimaru teach you that?"

"The hell do you know about Kushi, huh?" Zabuza growls and forces Kakashi back, then starts a series of spinning swings with the dull edge of the blade on his shoulder, a defensive stance designed to force grappling range combatants back as the blade's range is slowly increased and becomes less defensive.

Kakashi backs off and drops his Raikiri, starting to feel the drain from using it for so long. "Well, he and the other six nearly killed me as a kid during the tail end of the war." He slices his thumb and runs five hand signs before palming the ground and conjuring his whole collection of hounds. "Starting to feel like outnumbering you as badly."

Zabuza's brow twitches. "You've gotta be sh*tting m-"

He freezes at the sound of the orange-clad brat snorting behind him. He peeks over his shoulder just enough to keep both sides in his peripherals and tenses up at the sight of a few dozen more clones staring him down from atop the supply crates and beam stacks. "Oh, he's outnumbered by a lot more than that." Another clone pipes up from the left. "Yeeaah, how many of us are there again?" One speaks up to his rear right. "I dunno, I lost track after that damn water blade. Think we can learn something like that?" "No, we are NOT copying teme's tryhard style. He can keep the swords, we weaponize FUN."

Zabuza growls and conjures another five water clones. "And how exactly do you 'fight with fun' when getting slaughtered?"

The clones snort and start to rush him, splitting up and taking all angles. He attempts to cut them down, but most of them back off before getting in his range. A few start doing somersaults in a circle around him. Others start flipping over each other in meaningless gymnastic routines, throwing in random variations at odd angles to draw his attention to odd directions. Veins emerge on his forehead as he's overcome with rage and relies on his Suigiri no Jutsu once more. He produces a full circular blade this time, cleaving them down around him at chest level, catching many leaping ones in the legs and severing their limbs in one fell stroke.

This leaves him surrounded by smoke and deafened by the clangs and snaps of his water crashing into the beams and crates, leaving him blind and deaf to the dogs approaching from all sides beneath the height of his attack. His sword arm is bitten by the mastiff and held in place, three get onto his legs and thighs, another two on his free arm, and Yoko leaps in and takes a bite of his shoulder, nearly into his neck. He barely grunts at the pain, but he knows he's debilitated entirely by this combination. Their combined bites could finish him off in an instant by tearing out several critical arteries, and he'd bleed out in a minute tops. "Ugh… Bested by a tree-hugging cyclops's kennel. Great." He peeks over his shoulder to the far end of the unfinished bridge. "… They're almost in place."

Kakashi nods as he slowly steps up with a kunai in hand. "The kids should be finishing up in a moment, then."

"Oh, we're done." Sasuke steps up with an unconscious Haku in tow, dragging her by the back of her robe and dropping her nearby. "That last blast knocked her out. Question now is what to do with these two."

Naruto taps on Sasuke's shoulder and points down the bridge with a sh*t-eating grin on his face, just as a very short and arrogant man in a pinstripe suit steps through the mist and into view. "That was quite the show! Never gotten to see ninja fight like this before. I'll have to hire some to entertain me more often, seeing as none of you will live long enough to give me a second performance." He pulls a cigar and a lighter from his pockets, taking a long drag. He billows smoke in their directions, giving the impression that if he had the guts to get close enough, he would have blown it in their faces.

Sakura and Tazuna manage to catch up at this point, and Tazuna clenches his fists at the sight of the redheaded dwarf. "Gato, you rat bastard. The hell are you doing here?"

"Cutting off loose ends." He flicks off the ashes and grinds them under his heel. As the fog starts to fade off, no longer supported by Zabuza's chakra, a horde of at least a hundred hired thugs can be seen standing twenty feet behind him. Malicious grins are barely hidden behind swords, knives, spears, and axes. "Honestly, I never got how you ninja could charge such absurd rates for your work when I could make so much more progress with less money, more men, and the promise of all the whor*s and co*ke they could ever want."

Kakashi and Zabuza look between one another for a few moments before nodding and turning vicious glares on the rich runt. The dogs drop and reveal their bites had been intentionally shallow and barely damaged the man at all, and he stands tall and unhindered. "All we needed to hear, ya pint-sized prick." Behind them, Naruto and Sasuke draw their kunai and chokuto, and their injuries suddenly fade away to reveal pristine, unharmed bodies.

Gato's eyes narrow and his jaw slack. "The f*ck's goin on here?..."

Sakura sighs in relief and hunches over as chakra exhaustion starts to kick in. "Genjutsu. Maintaining one for the length of the average shinobi battle isn't too difficult but it's exhausting. Fooling other shinobi is the hard part. Fooling civilians, though, is easy." She forces on a grin. "I hope you enjoyed our act."

Naruto snorts. "Oh, I'm sure it was to die for. Which is great, because that's our admission price!"

"Wait…" Gato's eyes dart around and slowly backs up. "You knew I was gonna do this? You set me up?!"

"Oh.." Kakashi hums to himself and smiles through his mask. "It's so much more than that! As we speak…
.

.

A water chakra boosted kunai cleaves through another set of chains mounting a helpless woman to a wall. She slowly raises her weary eyes to see a caramel-skinned and scarred shinobi making his way down the line and freeing the girls one by one. She tries to speak, but he raises a hand to stop her. "Save your voice. Rest for now, put your energy into leaving once I can escort you all out. You'll all be going home soon, I promise." She's too dazed and tired to argue, but at least gathers enough of her wits to look around to the ten bodies littering the floor, all belonging to Gato's thugs posted in this room and outside the door. Only three had drawn their weapons by the time they were killed, and six had their pants down.

.

.

Gato clenches his fists hard enough to crack knuckles. "Goddamnit… Fine, after my army kills you, I'll just have them recollect the whor*s and double our profits by taking more from the town! Besides, that was just one small source of income for me, I've got plenty more! My drug shipments make five times as much as the slaves do!"

Naruto snorts. "About that…" Suddenly, a few blasts can be heard down the shore, slowly growing louder, until ripples can be seen coming across the water through the fog. They cut off entirely for about two seconds before a much louder blast leaves no question as to what's just happened in the distance.

Sasuke chuckles and sighs at that wonderful sound. "Fireballs are great. Mixed with exploding seals, it's almost beautiful."

"Sasuke…" Naruto pats him on the back. "We've made something wonderful together."

"Enough." Kakashi cuts them off. "We'll discuss your brotherhood of pyromania later. For now, let's clean up here so we can go back to town and split the cash Jiraiya stole from his safe."

"You WHAT?!"

"Damn, shorty…" Zabuza hefts his blade over his shoulder and pulses a heavy dose of killing intent. Raw, cold hate rolls over Gato and crushes his spirit in an instant. Kakashi's dogs immediately cringe at the smell of him sh*tting himself. "You're complaining a lot about money for guy who's about to lose his head."

He visibly trembles even from fifty feet away, but manages to gather his wits just enough to turn, stumble and sprint away and towards his horde of hired hands. "GET OVER THERE AND KILL THE BASTARDS ALREADY!"

Just as Gato gets within thirty feet of his army of mooks, the bridge folds in half and crushes them all in one swift motion. Blood and bile splashes across Gato as he freezes up entirely and stares with mouth agape at the loss of his one hope of escape.

Zabuza is also rather stricken, and turns to face a chuckling Naruto. "What the f*ck was that?"

"What?" He grins ear to ear and crosses his arms behind his head. "A trap that can only go off once is kind of inefficient, right?"

Kakashi stammers aimlessly for a moment, but hangs his head. "Just when I think I've caught up to your insanity. Alright, let's finish this up and get to cleaning the mess. Haku?"

A chill goes down Gato's spine before the radiating cold of her presence even registers. He slowly looks to his left to find Haku standing beside him with a heartless, mile-long stare accompanied by a chilling smile. "I told you I'd do much more than break your arm if you slighted us again." She slowly leans in with senbon in hand, leaving Gato to cry out into the mist in his final moments, dying as he lived: Alone, yet surrounded by people who hate him with a passion.

.

.

Naruto grumbles and shudders as he wanders back through the woods towards Tazuna's home. "Uuuugh… If I knew it'd be that messy, I would have use the poison gas trap instead…"

Kakashi shrugs. "Well, that's part of shinobi life, Naruto. I know it's the most blood I've seen at once, though, even during the war. It was quite the compact slaughter."

Zabuza hums and tilts his head a bit. "It was impressive especially for your age, but I've seen better. Hell, I've done better, though not quite in one stroke. For execution, I give it a nine."

Naruto sighs and hangs his head. "Well, glad my killing spree could be so highly rated by a world-class assassin."

Haku steps up and places her hand on his left shoulder. "Those were your first kills, weren't they?"

He nods shakily, leaning into Yoko as she sticks her head out of her perch in his hood and nuzzles him, but he jumps a bit when Sasuke joins him on his right. "Dobe, I get it. First kills are tough. First time seeing a man die is hard. I haven't gotten my first kill yet, but… I've seen seen plenty of death." He huffs. "… Just keep in mind those people would have gladly harmed completely innocent people if you hadn't killed them first. You infiltrated them, you know how bad they were."

Naruto nods once more and smiles somberly. "Yeah… Yeah, I guess it's not so bad, thinkin of it that way. It… still sucks, though."

Sakura chimes in with a surprisingly quiet tone, for her usual pitch anyway. "Naruto… yeah, it sucks. It really sucks. But I can already tell you're handling it well. Remember, we were all trained on how to handle the aftermath of a first kill, and… I can tell all your trap training and the animals helped prepare you for it. Yeah, there's a huge difference, but…"

Haku nods in agreement. "You're handling it wonderfully, Naruto. Just try not to be too hard on yourself, and focus on the positives."

"I couldn't put it better myself." Everyone looks up from their depressed comrade to see Jiraiya standing out front of Tazuna's house with Tsunami, Inari, and Hideki, surrounding a campfire he'd set up there. He presents a gentle smile for his godson and pulls him into a hug. "You'll be just fine, kiddo."

Sasuke and Sakura look to one another as a million questions run through their heads. Who is this guy? That headband is heavy evidence to one particular shinobi, a legendary hero of the village, but… how would he and Naruto know each other?

That estranged family moment is thrust aside though as Iruka returns and pushes the Sannin aside to pull his son into the tightest hug of his life. No words are shared, nor wasted. He simply sinks into his father's arms and buries his face, shivering and letting the silence speak for him. Nobody dares to interrupt them. Sasuke steps past them to check on Hideki, and Sakura joins Tsunami and Inari as she escorts Tazuna back to his family. The boy is shy and reserved at first, but eventually starts to ask how it all went, how they were able to come home safe, and who these two strangers following them are.

Speaking of the two strangers, Kakashi speaks to Zabuza in a tone so hushed that surely only the two of them, Jiraiya, and maybe Haku would hear him. "So, you still plan to take up my offer? I have a lot of sway back home, as does Naruto, surprisingly enough."

He grumbles and crosses his arms. "Oh, I already see why. Being that close to a Sannin isn't exactly an everyday thing, and I know exactly who your sensei was. It doesn't take much to put it together. The kid's gonna make waves one day." He sighs and hangs his head. ".. I'll consider it. You have about a week yet before he finishes the bridge and sends you all home anyway. When the time comes, I'll have answer." He slowly walks away to join Haku. "Becoming a treehugger never really crossed my mind, but it's better than running from Anbu forever."

Kakashi nods and pulls the latest Icha Icha from his pocket, focusing on the book to wind down from the day's ordeals, and to give the kids some time to sort out their issues their own way.

That short moment of peace is completely undone moments later when Naruto starts raging at Jiraiya about tearing down his security and seals so easily and demanding to know how he did it. The answers only manage to enrage the blonde bastard even more.

Chapter 16: Spy vs Spy, Mei Oh My

Chapter Text

Naruto was always used to being stared at in the village. It was a common enough occurrence, receiving glares from the random citizens as he passes by, laced with a blind hatred that's plagued him his whole life.

So it didn't take him long at all to realize that this time, everyone was focused on the missing nin that he was accompanying to the Hokage's tower upon returning home. The appearance of an infamous criminal with an obviously slashed headband draws the majority of people's attentions the moment they notice the towering assassin and his man-sized sword.

Now knowing what Naruto is, and just how much the village has come to hate him, his teammates were a bit defensive at first when coming home, but seeing as they escort was drawing everyone's ire instead, they eventually calmed down. Kakashi couldn't help but be proud of them for caring so much for Naruto in light of his jinchuuriki status.

But of course, there was one big obstacle on the way that wasn't so much big as it was glaring and pissing Zabuza off by its mere conception. He stands in the middle of the road with his left eye twitching. "Why. The f*ck. Are these little sh*ts following us. In a box painted as a rock?"

Naruto snorts. "I dunno if they're following you or me. Could be either one." He pulls on a string hidden in the bottom of his left pocket, and a small paper ball drops out of his pants leg as he walks. Moments later, as the box passes over it, it goes off as a flashbang and scares the Kono Trio clean out of their mobile hideout.

Konohamaru coughs spastically at the smoke pouring from his overturned box. "Ugh, damnit boss! How'd you know we were there?!"

Udon mumbles through the part of his shirt he's held to his face to block out the smoke. "I told you it was too obvious for him."

Moegi whines and drops to her knees. "I spent two hours painting the rock texture on that box!"

"Hey!" Kono kneels down to get in Moegi's face. "If two hours left us that obvious, then you've gotta put ten into it next time!" The entire time he's yelling at her, she's looking past him and growing visibly scared.

When Kono finally notices this, he slowly turns his head and finds Zabuza has now knelt down and started staring the boy down with just a tiny smidge of killing intent. "So you think you're sneaky, huh?"

Konohamaru Backs away slightly, but in his naiveté and overconfidence, pushes forward and stares Zabuza down directly. "What's a bandaged bastard like you know about stealth?! I bet you can't hide from a toddler with a sword that big!"

Sakura's jaw drops at the display, as do Kono's teammates', but Zabuza on the other hand laughs as he uprights himself. "You've got guts, kid. Good." He turns to walk off towards the tower again, but pauses halfway. "If you really wanna learn to be sneaky, try asking an anbu, and try to get the jump on me. Hell, the orange runt here has a good chance of catching up to me, wardrobe notwithstanding."

"Oi!"

He snorts in laughter. "Keep working on it, maybe one of you three will get it one day." His eyes fall on Udon. "You there, snot-nose. You seem quiet enough. I suggest you try speaking up more to knock some sense into these two and put those brains to use figuring out what your leader's got wrong."

Udon can only manage to stare at Zabuza's back as he walks away, while Konohamaru yells various obscenities at him and Moegi struggles to calm the young Sarutobi down.

Kakashi side-eyes Zabuza as they move. "You know I had to signal for several anbu to stand down when you got that close to the Hokage's grandson, right?"

"That runt was the old monkey's grandkid?" He huffs. "Should learn to act like it and take his career path seriously."

Naruto shakes his head. "I hope he doesn't take it seriously too soon. I always have because I've been on rock bottom all my life. He's been given everything, and hates it, but he doesn't know how else to act. It'll take a huge loss for make him take it seriously, and I don't wanna see him go through that too soon."

"Hmm…" Haku smiles gently and nods in agreement, slowly raising her hand and producing a rose of ice. "Makes me wonder what would have happened to me if I'd been raised in peace instead of losing my parents at such a young age." She pinches the stem, and it scatters into snow. "Innocence is so fragile. A single moment can shatter it, and then, the world is never the same."

Sakura wraps her arms around herself. "I.. I guess I'm the only one of us who hasn't lost something like that, but… my dad fought against the Kyuubi, and it cost him a lot. I've always watched him having trouble getting around, dealing with constant pain in his left leg. It's crippling, and really helped me to realize just how much a shinobi needs to be willing to sacrifice, and how much they should expect to face." Her eyes narrow. "I guess I just… always had a good example in my life, even if I didn't listen to half of what he said for so long."

"Meh." Kakashi shrugs. "I did much of the same. Don't beat yourself up for being a kid, even now. Everyone has their learning curves, you three just happen to be ahead of the general curve, and by a wide margin might I add." He sets his book away as they reach the base of the Hokage's tower, just in time to see Team 8 emerging with a mission scroll in hand. Kiba and Akamaru are immediately besieged by Yoko leaping up and draping herself over his shoulders to sniff at Akamaru's head sticking out from under Kiba's hood. Hinata comes stumbling to a stop at the sight of Naruto and almost trying to hide behind her sensei, whom goes slack-jawed at the sight of Zabuza. Shino of course has no reaction at all.

Kurenai stammers aimlessly for a few moments. "Z.. Z-Zabuza? What the hell are you doing in Konoha?"

Naruto chuckles earnestly. "Oh my god, this is better than I thought. Yes, you have me to thank!" Naruto steps up with open arms. "Your future Hokage has managed to turn a nukenin and his student into aspiring Konoha shinobi!" He takes a sweeping bow, but Yoko jumps off Kiba's shoulder, onto the back of Naruto's head, and forces him to faceplant. Kiba breaks into laughter, and Haku manages to giggle a bit. Naruto grumbles into the dirt. "lousy f*ckin…" He uprights himself and wipes the dirt off as Zabuza step up.

"Yuuhi Kurenai, right? I think we last met about… oh, was it two years ago at a bar in Ochakuni when you were drugging and grilling that sop in the corner for the whereabouts of a drug ring?"

She huffs. "Yes, I believe so. I was just glad to be seeing you during an irrelevant mission, yet here you are, led straight into the heart of our village." She looks to Kakashi. "Did you all seriously convert him?"

"Oh, we might have." He gives her his patented eye-smile and waves it off. "Not too difficult, his boss when we found him was literally the worst kind of human imaginable, so convincing anyone to turn against him was as easy as could be."

"I had to infiltrate their ship three nights in a row and map out the whole thing for dad."

"I had to use Naruto's map to save an entire cargo hold of human trafficking victims."

Kurenai turns to Iruka in shock. "You did what?"

Iruka crosses his arms behind his head and turns away sheepishly. "I might have understated the training I've been putting in lately. I just wanted to keep up with my son!"

Kiba snorts. "How hard can that be?"

"I dunno, keeping up with the future Hokage would be pretty tough, don't ya think?" He smirks down to Naruto, who just beams up at his dad with an ear-to-ear grin. Hinata can't help but smile at that family bond Naruto's finally managed to find.

Kurenai sighs in frustration with Iruka's recklessness, but she can't help but smile at his determination and dedication to his son. "I suppose. But back on topic…" She returns her gaze to Zabuza. "Really looking to join us, with your bloody history?"

He grumbles and shoves his hands deep in his pockets. "There's a lot the public doesn't know, and a lot that I'm not at liberty to say. What I will tell you is a lot more of it than you think was justified by better reasons than being my job." He starts pushing his way past to get inside. "That said, I am still a bloody beast, so you'd best watch who you're insulting."

Kiba gives Zabuza's back a fanged grin. "I like his style. His sword smells like an insane amount of blood, though."

Naruto shrugs. "You get used to it when ya hang around him enough." He leans sideways to peek past Kiba and around Kurenai to Hinata. "Hey, Hinata! How's the wind training coming?"

She squeaks and backs away a bit, but slowly peeks out form her hiding place. "U-Um… I suppose it's going well." She averts her eyes. "I-I'm very limited on jutsu though, since I still don't have much chakra, b-but I'm working on it."

Naruto gives her an eager thumbs-up as he passes. "You got this! We'll have to compare jutsu later, once I've got some time off. I think I'll have a week after this mission's turned in, if you're ever free!" Rather than waiting for a reply, knowing he has to catch up to the nukenin he's escorting, he gives Shino a quick fist-bump and a small scroll before running ahead to rejoin Zabuza and Kakashi.

Sakura steps past with a shrug, whispering to her fellow kunoichi. "He'll get it one day, he's just slow when it comes to this stuff."

Sasuke snorts. "And you aren't? You hounded me for years."

"It was a phase, Ok?!"

Once they pass out of earshot, Hinata turns to Shino. "U-Um... what was that s-scroll about?"

Shino slowly opens it and stares at the contents for a few moments. "… Apparently, he's provided me with a few natural toxins to have my bugs find cures for to strengthen my immunities, and prepaid for another parasite check for Yoko."

Inside, Naruto manages to get ahead of Kakashi again in time to reach the office door first. He almost barges in, but having developed a bit more tact since meeting Jiraiya, he actually knocks for once… although he makes a long, rhythmic, obnoxious sequence of knocks until he hears an exasperated groan. "Come in, Naruto."

He swings the door open with his trademark ear-to-ear grin and waves everyone else through. "Team Seven, reporting back with Momochi Zabuza, his adoptive daughter Haku, and the best damn teacher in the elemental nations!"

Iruka stumbles a bit at that comment. "W- What did I do to deserve that much praise?"

"Being enough of a badass to pull off that rescue mission and take out half the thugs on the ship alone."

"Don't knock the compliment." Zabuza shrugs. "That was easily upper Chuunin work, far better than academy teacher level, possibly lower Tokubetsu rank."

Sarutobi can't help but smirk at the assassin's praise of his shinobi. "Coming from such an accomplished and seasoned assassin as yourself, I'd have to be the most arrogant Kage of all to not take that evaluation seriously." He writes down a few notes. "Iruka, you may be looking at a promotion. I'll keep you on the school's staff as well if you'd like, but you'll be training new hires there to ensure they're up to snuff. Rather than just being on the staff, you may end up heading the whole school by the end of this month."

Iruka gulps nervously. "Y… Y-Yes sir. I hope I can perform to your expectations!"

Haku leans in towards Naruto. "I thought Iruka was only this nervous with Tsunami because he was poor with women. Is he really this anxious all the time?"

"He's not used to praise."

Sakura elbows him. "Neither are you, ya fragile blond windbag. One genuine compliment, and all that bravado deflates like popping a balloon." Naruto slumps, but does not reply.

"Alright, alright." Hiruzen waves for them to settle down. "Enough pleasantries. As good as it is to see you all home safe, even our two guests, we have a debriefing to get through. So..." He fills his pipe and lights it with fire chakra on his thumb. "How exactly did you so drastically change the state of affairs for an entire nation?"

.

.

Hiruzen rubs his temples, slightly hunched over his desk. "Dear god, I can't leave you alone for two minutes without either some experiment exploding, someone being pranked half to death, or now apparently an international incident." He leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling. "Children, you are dismissed. You all have a week off before I'll be assigning your next mission."

"Ah…" Sasuke reaches into his pockets. "Before we go, I've got two things you might want." He pulls out a scroll first. "This contains the head of that traitorous bastard Aoi." He tosses the scroll over the desk, and Hiruzen effortlessly catches it. "And I retrieved this from him." He pulls the Raijin no Ken from his right pocket, channeling just a bit of chakra and sparking the blade to life.

Hiruzen slowly rises from his seat and steps around his desk to approach Sasuke, a smile overtaking his wrinkled face as he accepts the sword from Sasuke with the gentle care of a father holding their child. "My sensei's weapon. Such a wonderful masterwork of sealing and craftsmanship." He sighs and traces his old fingers across the seals carved into its outer casing. "I never should have let this fall into Aoi's hands… but it's finally come home." He pauses, slowly lowering his gaze back to Sasuke… and handing him the blade. "But I believe it's found a new home now."

Sasuke's sharingan activated purely out of shock, giving Hiruzen a bit of a start as well, seeing those eyes after so long. Already balanced with two tomoe each. This sextuple threat of pupils bares down on the legendary weapon in his hand as he judges whether he truly deserves it. "Hokage-sama… I really don't think you should give this to me. It belongs with someone far greater. Shouldn't Kakashi have this?"

He shakes his head and slowly returns to his seat. "Kakashi was never any good with swords, even his anbu tanto, and he already has Raikiri. No, this sword is best off with a young man whom I feel embodies much of the spirit of my sensei, in skill, practicality, temperament, and most importantly…" He takes his seat and grins. "My sensei was a great man, but he was very biased against your clan, and I can't help but smile at the thought of him rolling in his grave at an Uchiha receiving his blade and proving him wrong."

Sasuke can't help but snort and smirk at that thought, shutting the blade off and pocketing it, then bowing. "Thank you, Hokage-sama. I swear on both my clan and this village's honor that I'll do great things with it."

Hiruzen leans back in his seat and takes a puff from his pipe. "I'm sure you will. Now, you're all dismissed. You're also to report to training ground seven at your standard time tomorrow, but expect Kakashi to be there on time this time." Kakashi gulps at that, knowing there must be trouble brewing for him. His students snicker at him on their way out, and start discussing dinner plans for the evening.

Finally, Kakashi sighs and reaches into his vest, pulling a small toad from his pocket, and takes a moment to just look at it before chucking it full-throttle at the floor. It instantly turns back into Jiraiya and faceplants, slides forwards and flips into a scorpion pose, then stops seated with his back to the floor and his legs on the front of Hiruzen's desk. "Uuugh… Goddamnit Kakashi, you almost popped me!"

Hiruzen snorts out smoke. "If one of your clones would be beaten that easily, I'd have to seriously reconsider your rank in this village."

Jiraiya slowly rolls to his feet and stretches. "I've been riding back with them in disguise for a few days, what do you expect? I'm running on fumes here." He grumbles and arches his back. "Now, I already briefed Zabuza on this bit. While I was gathering intel on Orochimaru from around the islands, I managed to get in contact with a contingency of shinobi from the Kiri rebellion. Turns out, they managed to take over recently, and Yagura's good and dead."

Zabuza sighs and slumps against the wall. "Damnit, Yagura. I still don't know what the hell could have gotten him to act like that, even with Isobu in his head. Hell, that turtle probably would have hated what Yagura was doing."

"Concerning that…" Jiraiya turns to Zabuza with crossed arms. "Some recent intel suggests it may involve the same person responsible for the Kyuubi's attack here. Someone with a sharingan is running around messing with jinchuuriki, and Yagura was likely one of his targets."

Zabuza's brow furls. If not for how intensely muscled his face is, the lack of eyebrows would make it imperceptible. "Well that's pleasant. An overpowered Uchiha with an axe to grind against every village is someone I'd have to hope is just a myth, but Yagura's last ten years line up with that theory too well to be a coincidence."

Kakashi nods sternly. "But now that he's dead and disposed of, whatever plot this Uchiha was up to is stunted for now."

"But…" Jiraiya cuts in. "A certain snake in the grass has been benefitting from it. Orochimaru's been assisting in the bloodline purges in return for samples of any bloodlines to experiment with, and occasionally just cleaning up after massacres and taking kids and parts. I managed to stop some of his minions trying to take a Hozuki boy, and shortly after, I met some rebel nin there who were trying to clean up after the remainder of Yagura's regime. They informed me that they were looking into Orochimaru themselves, and would be willing to work with us on bringing the bastard down. Their new leader and soon-to-be Mizukage, Terumi Mei, is apparently eager to begin peace talks with us, knowing we have a similar passion for bloodline preservation, freedom of expression, and bringing down that slithering bastard."

"Wait…" Zabuza pushes himself off the wall. "Mei? sh*t, I thought she died in the raid on Yagura that got me labeled a nukenin!" He grins through his mummy mask. "Well damn. I'll have to get her a few drinks if I ever get back there."

Hiruzen hums and smirks. "That sounds wonderful to me. So, here's how it'll go. You'll become our ambassador between Konoha and Kiri. You'll have dual membership and citizenship, and be sent to rendezvous with the Kiri anbu on reconnaissance in Gohan no Kuni to be escorted there, while Kakashi retrieves any relevant information from them to return here." He starts sorting through scrolls on his desk. "Let's see… I have a few other missions in mind to send you on that could be used as a front for this operation, and make it a stronger political play in the process. Uniting with Kiri when we already have Suna on our side is sure to put Iwa against the wall and push them to either act as brashly as possible and get snuffed out quickly, or knowing Onoki, he'll play things as carefully as possible and feel out the alliance for a few months before playing his own underhanded tactics to either shoehorn his way into the alliance or undermine it as much as possible. Killer A on the other hand is a bit of a wild card. I haven't been able to really feel out his motivations and methods as Raikage yet, so we'll have to wait and see how he reacts. Surely not as brash or cruel as his father could be at times, given the lack of assassination attempts from his corner of the world."

Haku reaches up to prop her chin up as she thinks, mumbling for a moment through her index finger. "That's got to be one of the most critical political plays the world's ever seen. If you pull it off, it's a grand era of peace. If you fail, it's the start of a new war. A huge gamble to be sure, but skewed so far in your favor either way that it would be frankly stupid not to take advantage of it."

Hiruzen raises an eyebrow at her, then snorts as he catches Zabuza's eyes. "Careful, demon. You've taught her so well I'm considering making her the ambassador instead." He sighs in relief and sits up. "Well, I believe that's all for you two. Best you get going. For now, you'll be closely monitored by anbu, but you're free to enjoy the village as you see fit. I suggest you stay at the hotel on Goemon Boulevard, Ryu no Su."

Zabuza shrugs and saunters towards the door. "Thanks for this tip. Keep in touch, and if ya get a hawk to Kiri, give Mei my regards." He waves on his way out. "Later, cyclops."

"Says the man who got his ass beat when I used my other eye." Zabuza flips him off on the way out. Kakashi just shrugs and turns back to Hiruzen. "So, what's this about tomorrow morning?"

Hiruzen leans over his desk and passes Kakashi a very thick file. "A new training program proposed by Shikaku. I think you'll be satisfied by what you find here."

Kakashi raises his visible brow, then pulls his headband up to memorize the contents with his sharingan as he reads through. Every few moments, his eyes grow wider. "This… this is brilliant." He lowers the file and peeks over it to his kage. "Remind me to take Shikaku out for a few drinks for proposing this."

"Hmph." Hiruzen blows a fresh plume of smoke. "Funny, my son said the same thing, after 'what the hell got his lazy ass to write out something this big?'"

Chapter 17: Interpersonal Warfare

Chapter Text

Not much ever succeeds at getting Naruto truly down. He's a fighter, always managing to find something to keep him positive. Coming home to find his door broken and home vandalized is certainly not one of them. He stumbles through the graffiti-painted front door and looks over his shredded couch, toppled fridge, and busted table. The walls are marked with various threats and insults, ranging from the standard "DEMON" and "DIE" to one surprisingly creative instance of "YIFF IN HELL, FOX f*ckER". That one's new to him.

The furniture, he didn't mind much. He and Iruka could replace those. Painting would be easy enough. Replacing the now piss-stained carpets would be a little more difficult and obnoxious, since he could never get anyone to do it for him at his old apartment, and here at his dad's place is certainly going to be just as tough purely because of his own involvement. The truly tough part was finding his family photos smashed out of their frames and ripped apart. Those were one of the only things he had that was truly valuable to him that he kept in the open. Even Iruka had gotten into the habit of keeping his most valuable belongings locked up and hidden purely due to shinobi paranoia, long before Naruto came along. But the loss of these photos, the memories of their time as a family, truly hurts.

The difficult part for him to grasp was that his traps built beside the door had clearly been triggered, and people suffered at his hands under them. A few blood stains sit on the floor by the door, with the kunai that had been launched. The seals containing itching powder, stink bombs, and paintballs had all been dispensed. The evidence was literally on the wall. Enough people just happened to hate him enough to force their way through it all until no traps remained, and then ruin the place when no threats were left.

He had tried to put the same kind of security seals he used at Tazuna's place all over his door, but apparently this apartment complex didn't allow for him to mark their door like that. Now there was graffiti all over it and an eviction notice stuck to the wall just inside it. The landlord had decided the damage to his property was too extensive, and would surely happen any time Naruto left the village for a mission. There was no way he'd be allowed to stay here, even with the Hokage's influence. Civilian and shinobi laws clash all the time, and property law is one of the points that the civilian side always wins on.

Sakura and Sasuke step up beside their teammate. Sakura's arms find their way around him, and Sasuke places a hand on his shoulder. Naruto can't help but shiver. Even having had them as teammates and best friends for some time now, this sort of contact is one thing he's still unused to. Eventually, he closes his eyes and leans back into them. No words need be exchanged, as he can already tell they truly care in this moment, and it's more than pity.

The silence is surprisingly broken by Sasuke. "Let's gather up everything you want to and can recover from here. You need a new place; I'm moving you and Iruka-sensei into one of the empty homes in my compound."

Naruto's head bolts up fast enough for the Kyuubi to wonder how he avoided whiplash. "Wait, WHAT?!"

"You heard me." He shoves his hand back in his pocket and turns away from his teammates' stares. Sakura especially is bothering him with how enamored she is with this act of charity. "I have room for you, you won't have to pay rent, and you can save up to get a nice place of your own a hell of a lot faster. I already heard Iruka talking about it back at Tazuna's, when he was commenting on wanting a place like theirs. This just expedites things a bit." He walks to the door and peeks around outside. "You might wanna sneak some clones out the windows to check out who's staking out the house to see your reaction to this mess they left, and let Iruka know what's up here since he apparently went to see Anko before coming home…"

"I did, but…" All three genin turn to find Iruka coming out of his bedroom with a packed bag in hand and Anko standing just behind him. Anko looks like she's either about to cry or rip someone to shreds, but Iruka is just somber and resigned. "I brought her back here and found the place before you three. I figured this sort of thing might happen…" He rubs the back of his neck, but pauses at the sight of Naruto hanging his head and turning away. He quickly sets his bag down and pulls his son into a hug right away. "Naruto… I don't blame you at all for any of this. I took you in knowing this sort of thing could happen, and I didn't care. I have backups of all the photos, nothing irreplaceable was lost. We're going to be fine, alright?" Naruto remains silent, but slowly buries his face into Iruka's vest and barely contains his tears. Iruka knows he won't cry. Naruto never cries in front of anyone when it involves the violent hatred he's lived under. He numbed himself to it long ago. Iruka sighs and peeks up to his other two former students. "Sakura, could you please help Naruto and Anko gather his things while I speak with Sasuke?"

She nods shakily. "O-Of course, Iruka-sensei." She steps up and takes Naruto's hand to lead him. "Come on, let's make this quick so you can leave this mess behind, alright?" He remains silent, but allows her to pull him away from Iruka to head into his room.

Anko takes Iruka's hand and gently turns him to face her, their faces mere inches apart. "Are you sure you're alright? I know you're trying to be strong for the kid, but…"

Iruka shakes his head. "I am strong enough for this. I don't care how many people hate me for him, or for you. I don't have to try. I've been prepared for this and more for a long while now."

Anko's face softens as she sighs and nods in understanding. "Right… well, I'll help those two out, but I'll be back for you soon, alright?" She gently kisses him, but Sasuke can't help but notice that she bites his lip a bit as she pulls away. She then turns her gaze to Sasuke with a smirk. "And expect me to be visiting a lot. Probably spending the night. You got that?"

Sasuke pales for a moment, but narrows his eyes on her. "As long as you two can keep quiet enough to not keep me up and mess with my training."

Anko smirks and wiggles her eyebrows. "No promises, pinkeye." She steps away to get into Naruto's room. "So, brat! Where ya hide those p*rno mags you studied for that Orioke no Jutsu?!"

Sasuke's jaw drops, but Iruka shakes his head. "The worst part is, this isn't the first time she's asked that, and this time, she's probably going to find out."

.

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Sarutobi Asuma, Yuhi Kurenai, Hatake Kakashi, and Maito Gai sit in a booth at the village's most popular barbecue, Yakiniku Q. As they await their orders, everyone but Kakashi reads over a form he's handed out in order to catch them up with the Hokage's latest orders. Asuma whistles as he finishes committing it to memory. "Even reading it over a second time, that's one hell of a plan. Tsunade might even willingly come home if she saw the potential of this." He takes a quick puff of his cigarette, freshly lit with his own thumb, but Kurenai focuses water chakra into her fingertip and snuffs it out with a tap, before cutting in with her own commentary.

"It's certainly a versatile system. Probably going to be more effective than any training program this village or any village has ever had, save for personal apprenticeships."

"More than that…" Gai interjects. "It's a gateway to more easily find specialized students to choose as apprentices." He peeks up from the forms with his signature Nice Gai Grin. "It's a masterwork of pure logic intertwined into the most hopeful education system I've ever laid eyes on."

"Precisely." Kakashi sets his away into his vest. "And it's set for tomorrow, hence why there's been orders to avoid any missions outside the village for the last week. My team should be fine to go for this training tomorrow. We'll all meet at training ground 7 and kick this off with trading students based on unaddressed skill sets and specialties. So, let's get that organized now…"

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The Uchiha compound hasn't been this lively for seven years. Naruto's clones scramble about cleaning floors, dusting corners, and generally prepping his family's new livingspace neighboring Sasuke's in short order. He's never been the best at cleaning, but when you have five clones each with large sponges doing a hands-down, ass-up sprint from one end of the room to the other, each floor ends up done in under five minutes. The dusting is a bit more of a mess when Naruto tries rushing it with Atsugai, but the wind jutsu only manages to get that dust cycling through the air and leaves both Naruto and Iruka sneezing up a storm. Iruka's water jutsu prove much more useful in the cleaning efforts.

In about an hour, they had their two bedrooms, livingroom, kitchen, and bathroom all spotless. They lacked furniture for now, but that proves a quick fix as well. Turns out that once Anko reported the incident to the Hokage, he went on the warpath hunting down which shonobi and citizens had done this, and handed Anko enough money and sealing scrolls to get all the furniture they'd need to them in no-time flat. Everyone discovered to have taken part in the defacing and destruction of their property would have their assets seized and sold to compensate them, then be thrown into prison for a minimum two-year sentence, depending on what other information was dug up about each of them in the process.

Of course, Anko had to go nuts with the furniture budget. She refused to waste so much as a dime of it, and Hiruzen had fully expected as much when he handed her such a hefty amount. Just another step towards spoiling Naruto as a silent apology for all the secrecy and suffering all these years. That apology is put to its fullest use, as Anko returns to them with a sectional couch, a new TV, radio, a surprisingly ornate coffee table that does a bit to give away her slightest feminine side and passion for ancient traditional culture, two new dressers, two new desks, a queen sized bed for Naruto, and a king sized for Iruka. When Iruka asked her why he'd ever need one so huge, her response was too vulgar for Naruto's ears, and whatever she'd whispered to Iruka lit him up like a Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fireball) to the face. He was instantly thankful for the stock of Naruto's silencing seals he kept on hand.

With the furniture set and their new home ready, Sasuke came over to visit his temporary neighbors. "You all settled in pretty quickly." He grumbles. "Don't get comfortable. This is a temporary arrangement."

Naruto crosses his arms and pouts. "Ya gotta ruin it, man? Just admit it, ya like having some neighbors in here again."

Sasuke stares silently for a moment, but rather than his usual dismissing scoff, he just slowly looks away and marching back to the door. "Just try not to be too noisy over here, alright?"

Iruka raises his head from his spot on the couch beside Anko. "Sasuke… you're more than welcome to come join us for dinner. It's the least we can do to thank you for letting us stay here."

He stops in the doorway for a moment, but shakes his head and keeps walking, never bothering to look back. "I have some training to do."

Naruto watches his best friend's back in silence for a few moments, eventually huffing and turning away to join his dad on the couch. "I don't get it… I almost managed to pull him out of his shell before graduation, and now he's shutting himself out again!"

Anko bites her lip, peeking over her shoulder and out the window to where Sasuke made his way off to. "… I think I know why. I might have a solution though, but I'm gonna have to get almost as manipulative as my old master was." She sighs deeply. "But at least it's for a good cause."

Iruka nods and pulls her in tighter. "Don't worry about becoming him. Like you said… it's a good cause. I know you'd never think that way otherwise. As sad*stic as you are…" He gently kisses her, and for once, Naruto can't find it in himself to object. "you're a truly good person."

Anko blushes and pouts as he turns away, but scoots closer to lean against his chest. "W-Whatever. Let's just watch a damn movie or something…"

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Hinata watched it all from afar. Naruto's return home from his mission, the way his home had been vandalized in their absence, the new home they'd relocated to since, she saw it all. Throw in providing the anbu assigned to investigate with her descriptions of all the offending citizens and shinobi, including a few names, and her day had been quite the emotional rollercoaster. She still couldn't bring herself to intrude on his life, especially on a day like this, but reporting those responsible for his torment today was enough help for her to be just a bit proud of herself. Although one of them had been a member of her own clan, she didn't care. They deserve whatever they get for this transgression against Naruto.

She returns home to find one of the middling members of the main house being dragged out of the compound by anbu, with her father watching on the sidelines. She steps past without so much as a glance at the arrogant vandal and stops beside her father. "… I suppose this won't reflect well on us."

"No it will not…" He huffs. "But he will be imprisoned for his actions, and he'll be sealed by week's end. His chakra has already been sealed but his Byakugan must be locked to ensure he cannot orchestrate an escape, nor return to active duty upon his release." He peeks down to his daughter. "I would like to speak to you in private about this matter and several others." He turns to lead, knowing she'll fall into line as she's been raised to do all her life. She of course does, and though as nervous as she always is around the man, her determination to stand against Naruto's oppressors encourages her enough to not show it for once.

They soon arrive at Hiashi's office chamber and kneel upon the tatami mats. With a pair of handsigns, the doors seal shut and the room is soundproofed. "You seem quite bold today, daughter. Am I correct in you have something to do with Akechi's arrest?"

After a few moments, she bows her head in a quick nod. "Yes, father. I witnessed his vandalism of Naruto-kun and Iruka-sensei's home, among many others. I have witnessed the results of Naruto's former apartment being targeted and suspected such a thing may happen in their absence. As such, I took it upon myself to check on their home daily as I passed it on my way home from missions and training with my team."

Hiashi hums and nods in response. "A logical course of action, given the pattern of prior incidents. Thinking critically and defensively, as all shinobi should." He closes his eyes for just a moment. "… And what do you know of the reasoning behind these attacks?"

Hinata remains still and silent for a few moments, but sighs and slouches almost imperceptibly. Enough for a trained shinobi to catch with ease, but not enough to suggest disrespect or weakness in the clan head's presence. "I have witnessed the seal on him with my Byuakugan. It's complexity makes our clan's work appear… juvenile in comparison. The power within it is vast." She turns her head away. "… You know my distaste for this clan's class system, father. You know I've planned to eradicate the Kago no Tori no Juin. (Caged Bird Seal) Every time I look into fuinjutsu, one term always surfaces as the most advanced and potent example of the art in human history." She turns her gaze back to her father. "Jinchuuriki."

Hiashi nods sternly. "That it is. Then you've connected the dots, I see. Yet you haven't lost your… interest in him." Interest is certainly putting it lightly, but he'd rather not call it the overwhelming crush it is. After a few moments, he manages to smile for the first time she's witnessed in years. "Impressive, my dear daughter."

She goes ramrod straight and wide-eyed at his praise. "F-Father?.."

He gently waves towards the floor as a gesture for her to calm down. "His status as a jinchuuriki, as I'm sure you suspect, is an S-rank secret. We are not meant to discuss it. Only the fact that you have discovered the truth through your own devices allows us to speak of it now. You may address the matter with the Hokage if you have further questions regarding his status. For now, I must congratulate you for recognizing him as a person rather than the beast." He grumbles. "A rather distasteful person in many ways, but still a shinobi of Konoha, rather than the monster many treat him as."

Hinata sighs in relief and bows. "Thank you, father. I will uphold the law and not speak of this outside of the correct circles. I… don't think I'll have it in me to discuss the matter with Naruto for some time anyway." She sits upright once more. "Does he know, or has he been kept in the dark as we have?"

"Actually…" He crosses his arms. "It's come to my attention recently, through Hokage-sama, that Naruto has indeed learned of his status through similar circ*mstances to your own discovery. His research into sealing has been fruitful to say the least, and his progress in the art has been…"

She smiles. "Breathtaking, honestly."

He huffs. "I wouldn't quite put it that way, but he's certainly proven abnormally vast talent in the field. Given time, I suspect he could overtake our clan's greatest sealmasters and approach the level of Jiraiya-sama." He shakes himself from these thoughts. "Regardless of his improvements though, the fact that you've seen through the surface level of his status and witnessed his true character beneath proves that you can be trusted with this knowledge, and that… I suppose I no longer have any reason to insist you keep your distance from him. Especially considering the events to take place tomorrow morning."

Hinata pauses and grips her tights for a moment. "What's happening tomorrow?"

.

.

"Sooo, come on, talk to me!" Ino sits across from Sakura, whom elected to visit her best friend after assisting Naruto with the move. There wasn't really much to move though, and she bailed shortly after Anko pulled a stack of magazines out of a seal etched into the underside of Naruto's bedframe. This impromptu visit to the Yamanaka compound quickly became a sleepover that she'd honestly been hoping to have for some time. That inevitably brought out Ino's gossipy side, which obviously took up about 70% of her civilian personality. Now, they sit across from one another on her bedroom floor amongst a myriad of pillows, old plushies, and junk food she'd been saving for just such an occasion. She used to avoid all of this stuff like the plague, but Choji managed to get her to rethink her diet. They're in sets of matching polka dot pajamas and T shirts of their own signature colors, and Ino's lowered hair flails about as she gets in Sakura's face. "You spent two whole weeks with Sasuke, you've gotta have at least a few juicy details about him by now!"

Sakura sighs deeply and runs her fingers through her hair. "Honestly, I didn't learn much that I didn't already know. His sharingan's working now, so that's pretty awesome. Honestly, those eyes are really intimidating, but… also kind of hot for that exact reason?" She blushes rather deeply at that vocalized though. "E-Especially since he tends to bring them out when he's getting protective. An avenger to the end, ya know?"

Ino giggles at her own overactive imagination. "Ooooh, now that's juicy. Being that protective of you, huh?"

Sakura blushes deeply and looks away. "N-No, actually. I don't think he feels like he really needs to protect me? He did get really protective of this kid who we found living in a box in front of his burned home in Nami no Kuni." She stares at the floor. "Hideki's a great kid. We had to leave him in Nami with some friends we made there who agreed to care for him while we looked into sending two shinobi Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei knew from here who're apparently looking to adopt." She raises her head with a grin. "We saved him from a few thugs and the boy got so attached to Sasuke you'd think they were brothers."

Ino blanches at the mention of Sasuke and 'brothers'. "Um… isn't that a bit of a sore subject for Sasuke, though?"

She huffs. "Very… but he actually got kinda soft for Hideki. He saw himself in the boy, and he just… couldn't stand to see someone be where he'd been, ya know?"

Ino nods faintly, her formerly flirtatious and gossipy mood having traded for something far more somber. "He's changed a lot. Looking back, he was kind of a prick… but I guess there really is a lot more to him than that." She forces her smile back on. "You're lucky to have gotten to see that side of him."

Sakura pouts a bit. "I know that smile, Ino. I know, I get it, you're still crushing on him a bit too. But really, we have much more important things to worry about. Right now, I'm just happy being his friend and teammate."

"Yeah, I get that…" Ino drops her forced smile. For a moment, Sakura realizes how much it reminds her of Naruto's. Great at acting genuine, but a bit too wide to be real. "I'm still kinda jealous, though. I know neither of us has any chance of getting a date with him any time soon, but you've certainly pulled ahead more than anyone." She shakes her head a bit and brushes her fallen hair out of her face. "But as jealous as I am, I'm kinda proud of you too. Looking back, he's never been mentally healthy. If I wasn't so blinded by a crush, being from my clan especially, I should have seen that from a mile away. Despite that setback, you seem to be helping him find some peace of mind."

Sakura blushes faintly and looks away. "I-I guess so. I've been helping Naruto just as much, I think. He's dealt with a lot over the years, and he's a much better person than we all used to think."

"Despite that horrifying prank…" Ino pales and shudders as she recalls that horrible day. The oil. The speedo. That leathery, sagging skin. No matter how much therapy she gets, she can never truly recover from such a sight. She smacks both her cheeks lightly to snap herself out of it. "He's… yeah, he's a cooler guy than I used to think. Still a nutcase, though."

"Oh, no, that's gotten twenty times worse. You should see what he's got planned for the day of the Chuunin Exam tournament."

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Nara Shikaku sits on his back porch in the dead of night as he has a smoke with Sarutobi Asuma. The forms for the new training module sit between them on a glass coffee table. "That's quite the setup, Asuma. Personally, I'm all for it, and as lazy as my son is, I doubt he'll be able to argue with the logic of it. Sure you're ready for this?"

Asuma takes a deep drag and nods as he blows it out. "More than ready. Honestly, it'll be nice to get to know the other kids. I wanna see the full breadth of this generation's potential." He smirks. "And we're gonna bring every ounce of it to the surface."

Shikaku narrows his eyes a bit. "That's fine and dandy, but I've never seen you this eager about training. You've got something else on your mind right now, don't you?"

"Hmph…" Asuma shrugs and slouches a bit in his seat. "Maybe so."

"Something to do with Kurenai?"

Asuma chokes on his next drag. "Ugh, sh*t, seriously? I thought we were stealthier than that!"

"Kid, you've got a long way to go before you're sneaky enough to hide from the greatest shadow master in the world." Shikaku snuffs out the last embers of his cigarette. "So then… I suppose things are going well on that front."

He sighs deeply and nods. "Yeah, yeah they are. She's kind of giddy herself, 'cuz Yugao and Gekko just got news of a kid with potential ninja skill in need of adoption in Nami no Kuni. Those two have been trying forever, and settled on adoption a while ago, but it's kinda tough to find kids to adopt nowadays that're alright with being taken in by shinobi and dealing with this lifestyle, ya know?" He uprights himself in his seat. "And Kurenai… well, she's gotten a lead from Anko on someone she should train tomorrow to try and reforge some long-lost family relations. I might train the kid too, since it seems he's already picking up on one of my specialties."

Shikaku runs through the list of genin in his head and quickly smirks at the realization of who it must be. "Well I'll be damned. Tomorrow's looking interesting enough I'll have to stop by and watch a bit." He pushes himself up from his seat and saunters back inside. "Get home and sleep already. Considering the class you'll be dealing with, those students might exhaust you by day's end."

Asuma grins into the sky, deciding to stay for a few more minutes before moving on towards home. "Yeah? Well, I look forward to it."

Chapter 18: Fated Fools Fooling Fate

Chapter Text

When asking a shinobi their opinion on fate, you can come across a myriad of answers. Some say that your heritage and talent determine your fate. Some will say Fate is a fickle goddess. Others would call Fate a cruel hag who makes fools of mankind for her own entertainment. Some believe fate to be a lie altogether, just a series of coincidences and mathematical probabilities that people take advantage of to say a higher power of some sort is in command.

The wisest of them will tell you that fate does indeed exist, but it is determined by no god or predetermined force. Fate is determined by one's flaws. A fool is fated to be ruined by their foolishness. The overconfident are fated to die in circ*mstances beyond their ability. The blindly honor-bound are fated to die for their cause. The drunks are fated to stumble into harm's way and the sleazy are fated to be alone.

But fate can be offset. If flaws determine one's fate, then the strength of others can cover those weaknesses and allow fate to be averted and changed for the better, all in the name of kindness. The fool can be taught by the wise. The overconfident can be brought to earth by the experienced and stern. The honor-bound can be set free by the boundless. Drunks are guided by the sober and the sleazy find solace in a chaste soul.

Today, as the lives of the children who will one day come to be known as Konoha no Juu Ni no Sensō Genri (Konoha's 12 Principles of War) are set on their paths, so changes the fate of an avenger by the heart of a truly selfless woman.

But first, an idiot argues with a voice in his head.

"Damnit fox, for the last f*cking time, I'm not good enough at sealing yet to figure this sh*t out!" Naruto screams at the top of his lungs, echoing through his mindscape. It even causes the bars of the bijuu's cage to reverberate a bit. He roughly scratches his head with both hands, somehow making his untamed hair even more of a mess. "I get that you want a more direct line to me, but I don't get this seal enough to do that! I can see if Jiraiya can modify it next time we see him, but I'm stumped!"

The Kyuubi grumbles as he lays across the bars from Naruto, staring him down. "Well, if you can't change this seal to allow it, what about making a new one? You make seals that mess with chakra in dozens of different ways all the time, and I'm a chakra being sealed into a purely mental and metaphysical form! There's got to be SOME way you can let me bypass the silencing seal and speak to you directly without having to use my chakra in combat!"

Naruto goes silent as he contemplates that route. Cogs and flywheels above in the abyss of his mindscape begin to piece together, illuminating more and more of the endless expanse above. He's noted this phenomenon before, that he can see up higher each time he comes to understand something more about this seal and about himself. A lot of progress has already been made on that front, yet he feels he's no closer to the top than before, if there even is one. Regardless, when the last cog fits into place, a new seal structure lights up on the wall high above. "Yeah… yeah, I think I've got one." It shifts slightly on the wall, parts breaking away and being replaced every few seconds. "It'd have to be a temporary seal at first, or something I can have marked into a cloth strip to wear under my clothes, and pull the top part out of my collar before attaching it under my headband."

The Kyuubi hums as he considers that structure. "That… might work. It would be a bit unreliable until you manage to find a way to work a route directly into my current seal, but it would work as long as you have it attached on both ends. What about a communicative output? Let me hijack your mouth to speak directly as long as you allow it?"

Naruto scowls a bit as he thinks that over. "Eeeeeh I dunno. Don't want ya saying something creepy through my mouth. I mean, I might be able to channel your mental chakra directly to my mouth and throat to override me, but it'll still be kinda tough. I'll need some input on mind control seals for that." He tilts back to think it over. "I'll ask Ino to invite me over to ask her dad a few things and see what he can provide."

"Works for now. You should wake up and get going though, I just started hearing your alarm." He reaches a claw through the bars and flicks Naruto with it before he can flee far enough, getting him right where the sun don't shine and snapping him awake instantly.

Naruto bolts upright and stares at his new bedroom's wall for a moment before Yoko peeks up to him from his lap and growls. "Yeah, yeah, I know. He's an asshole, but he's our asshole." He grumbles and pets Yoko nearly back to sleep before picking her up, draping her over his hunched shoulders, and marching out to the kitchen for breakfast.

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Half an hour later, Naruto rushes out of the dining room with Yoko in his hood, catching up with Sasuke on their way out of the Uchiha compound. "Yo, Sasuke!" He stumbles to slow down to his teammate's pace. "Thanks again for letting us move in here. I.." He pauses. "… Besides Iruka adopting me, it's… it's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for me." And there it is again. His rare soft, genuine smile, shining through his mask far brighter than the ear-to-ear grin he usually hides behind. "A few months ago, I never would've thought you could do anything like this."

Sasuke huffs and shakes his head. "Just don't go advertising it, ok? My fangirls would be even worse than usual in no-time if you did."

Naruto cringes and shudders. "Oof… yeah, no way I'm doin that. I wouldn't wish that on anyone." Yoko yips in agreement. "Still… don't expect I'll take it sitting down. I'll repay you somehow, man. Bet on it."

Sasuke turns his head away and doubles his pace. "Repay me by living a better life in that building than anyone's been able to give my clan's compound in seven years.."

Naruto stumbles to a stop. Something in Sasuke's tone was… final. He'd come to a decision, or realization, of something critical recently and it's hitting him hard. For a moment, he wants to reach out and address it, but something in Sasuke's posture tells him he'd only cause more damage if he asked now. For now, he just catches up and stays by his best friend's side. His presence should be enough for now, until he's ready.

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Team Seven's usual training ground is shockingly full that morning when the two of them arrive. Of course, Hinata notices Naruto from a mile away, so her turning red alerts Sakura to their presence and gets her turned around to greet them. For some reason, rather than alone beneath a tree with no sensei in sight as per usual, she stands in the midst of a small crowd of genin and four jonin, Kakashi included. "Hey, what took you two so long? Don't tell me you and Iruka were up watching horror movies with Anko again."

Naruto gapes like a fish for a moment, but shakes himself out of it and facepalms. "One goddamn time. One!" He points and narrows a glare as he steps up to her. "Bring it up again, and I'll crazy glue a zombie print to your bedroom window!"

Sakura gasps and steps back. "You wouldn't dare."

"You know me, Pinkie. I would. And I'd put a different one there each time you remove it at random intervals for months."

Sasuke nods. "Don't temp him, you know he will. He once replaced random tomatoes I'd harvested with wax ones, and when I caught on, he put an entire wax replica tomato plant in my garden."

Kakashi peeks up from his book. "Where the hell did you get one of those? Did you make it?"

Naruto grins and nods smugly, arms crossed as he feigns sage-like wisdom. "Truly one of my greatest masterpieces. Not the best payoff, but still satisfying." He freezes up as a heavy bandaged hand lands on his shoulder.

He peeks back to find Chouji channeling enough killing intent for his eyes to glow through his narrowed scowl. "Your pranks are great Naruto but don't you dare mess with a man's food."

He blanches and nods. "R-Right… I'll keep that in mind, Chouji. Reserved only for critical revenge pranks against people who deserve having their food ruined." As Choji scares the sh*t out of her partner, Yoko jumps down from his hood and trots over to Hinata, who eagerly kneels to pet her.

Chouji glares for a few moments, but nods and lights up almost instantly. "Well, I trust ya to reserve it only for dire cases. So how ya been, man? Barely seen ya since graduation."

"Oh, I'm pretty great!" Yoko yips from her new perch ins Hinata's arms. "Career's been interesting so far. Wait until I tell ya about the mission we just got back from. But first-" He turns to the crowd. "The HELL is everyone doing here?!"

Shikamaru sags and grumbles. "Damnit, Naruto, it's too early for you to be screaming at us. I have it bad enough with Ino on my team."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me as well as everyone just heard you. As for why we're all here, we haven't been told yet." He turns to stare at Asuma, who's just giving him a knowing smirk.

"Well, everyone necessary is here now, so I guess we can get started." He almost lights a cigarette, but Kurenai snuffs it out with a flick and leaves him to stash it away for later. "For those of you unfamiliar with me, I'm Sarutobi Asuma, sensei of Team Ten and son of the Sandaime. My dad's decided it's time to renovate the genin training program and start a new system that'll be sure to help you all grow faster and more successfully than any generation of shinobi before you."

Gai throws out his Nice Gai Pose™ to pick up where Asuma left off. "We'll all be taking turns training whoever wants to work on our specialized fields, so you can all get help with whatever skills you have that your usual sensei don't! Asuma is a specialist on elemental chakra manipulation, and I'm the village's top taijutsu specialist!"

Kurenai pushes Gai's arm down and cuts in. "I'm Konoha's resident genjutsu mistress, and Kakashi has the largest jutsu catalog in the village short of our Hokage. With all of us combined, you've got access to everything but a med nin, weapons training, and poi-"

"Did someone call for the poisonous seductress-" A beige blur barrels into the field and throws up a banner that pins to two trees on the border to present the invading nutcase's name. "Mitarashi Anko?!"

Naruto's eye twitches. "… Anko… Did you hide this training program from me last night… and then tail us here just to crash it?"

"Yes."

"You do know I know where you sleep and everything you're allergic to, right?"

Silence falls in the field for a few moments until Kiba shatters it with his mallet-blunt manners. "Uh, Naruto, you gonna introduce the babe, or-"

He's slugged into silence by Tenten. "Down, mutt."

Lee pouts. "Most unyouthful, Kiba-kun." He tilts his head. "Or maybe too youthful in the wrong direction?"

Kurenai shakes her head. "Asuma, be as rough with him as you want during your training today. He deserves it."

"Ok, enough gawking." Kakashi steps up and puts his book away. "Anko, you're welcome to stay, but you're not on the docket today. You're being scheduled for a session later this week, while we look for a med nin and a few weapon specialists. For now though." He turns and gazes across the horde of twelve genin. Each holds an incredible potential, and he can see it so easily, without his sharingan. Everyone here can become someone great, but for now, they're wrought iron that he and his comrades have to refine into cutting steel. "… Let's get to work. Line up for your first three hours with whoever you prefer."

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Kakashi Hatake soon finds himself off to the north of the training ground property with a team of three he was honestly quite surprised to work with. The next generation of the legendary InoShikaCho trio stands before him with… not confidence or determination burning in their eyes, but something of a similar caliber that really contrasts with their lackadaisical presentation. One keep his hands in his pockets and stares off into space, one is munching away on his fifth bag of chips in the last hour (did Chouza even have that kind of appetite as a kid?) and the girl is just looking like she's got as many plans running through her head as his own blonde brat, but she's a bit more troubled by them. He hums to himself as he scans across them all. "Well, this is quite the coincidence. Something tell me the three of you planned to work with me for something very specific."

Shikamaru nods with stern certainty. "We all agreed that our sensei is really lacking in one department that you specialize in."

"Oh?" He tilts his head and stares down his masked nose at them. "And what would that be?"

Ino narrows her eyes a bit. "Variety. Asuma may be strong and skilled, but the only broad thing about his stature is his shoulders." She huffs and start to almost claw at the air with her frustration. "He's barely got any idea how to do half of what we're looking for outside our clan jutsu! Most of what he can do for us is a ways off, we're nowhere near where we need to be with elemental manipulation to make our own jutsu from scratch with it, but his jutsu list is shorter than-"

Shikamaru cuts in. "Your temper?"

She gives him the stink eye, but groans and hangs her head. "Yes, my temper."

Chouji chuckles softly through a full mouth. "Honestly, Asuma might be great, but he's really hands-off and hasn't worked with our clan members much thanks to all his time away from the village in the Twelve Guardian Shinobi." He takes another bite. "But we've heard of you through all our parents, we know you've worked with them a lot, so you've gotta have some good ideas of how our jutsu work and what goes well with them."

Kakashi slowly grins beneath his mask. "Oh, you three are going to be wonderful. Alright, so you're looking for jutsu that go well in conjunction with what your clans do, and fitting your own elements? That, I can easily do." He slowly pushes up his headband and exposes his eye. "I've copied more than enough jutsu to give you all the best arsenals you could ask for. So let's get started."

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On the far east end of the training ground, Kurenai sits before four shinobi she's unsure what to think of. Two of them were obvious students, really. Sakura was sure to come to her for her developing genjutsu prowess and chakra control. Sasuke, as an Uchiha, has vast potential in the field as well, that he's just recently unlocked, according to Kakashi. Then there's the fact Anko insisted she pay a lot of attention to him today, if at all possible. Now she'll get that chance. The other two confuse her, though. The only reason she can see for Naruto coming to her is to stick with his team, but that just doesn't suit what she's heard of him through her own students. He'd clearly think critically enough to go somewhere more effective for his own style, so why her? And Lee confuses her even more for much the same reason. She's the complete antithesis of her skill set, so what the hell is he doing here? She couldn't help but be impressed with Lee's new style, though. He's apparently started growing his hair out again, about as long as Hinata's now, and it makes a world of difference compared to the bowl cut. Although he's still wearing the green jumpsuit, he's opted for a sleeveless version topped with a white gi and maroon belt, pulling together a surprisingly good look for him when topped with the maroon legwarmers. "Alright… So what are each of your plans with me today, then? I'd like to try and personalize all of your lesson plans, if I can."

Sakura shrugs. "Honestly, I just need a wider range of genjutsu than Kakashi knows. Ones with specific preset effects that I don't have to focus on as much as the Magen: Koko ni Arazu. (Demon Illusion: False Surroundings) It's versatile, but maintaining it in combat can be kind of a pain."

"Ugh, you don't have to tell me that." She grumbles. "Ok, yeah, I have a few in mind for you in that case." She turns to Sasuke and smiles softly. "And you're looking for some that you can easily use with your sharingan, then."

"Hmm… largely, but not exactly. I want to learn more about the foundations of genjutsu to make some of my own that work well with my close-to-mid range combat style."

She pauses at that thought. "That's... quite the goal. Meshing genjutsu and close combat is a difficult task, save for when you cast ones that trick the opponent into thinking they're bound. Most of those ones are quite costly…" She bites her lip and hums. "… but you do have a larger chakra pool than most genjutsu users, and a trap specialist in the team to make them seem more likely to be true." She smirks. "Brilliant, honestly. Nobody will see it coming from your combat style, and it'll be a great ace up your sleeve." Sasuke can't help but smirk at that phrase, then snort as he watches her face fall upon turning towards the remaining two. "So what are you two doing here of all places, then?"

Naruto lays back in the grass with one leg propped up on his other knee. "Simple. I have a bit of a weakness for genjutsu and need to learn to fight it off better. I have an idea or two, but need to test them. So I'll make clones to be everyone's practice dummies."

Lee nods eagerly. "Although I am incapable of making clones, I too want to work past my weakness for genjutsu by acting as a target for my comrades. Hopefully, it will help us all to be more successful in both casting them and escaping them."

Kurenai's taken aback by their enthusiasm for playing the targets in this scenario. Yes, it's necessary to do with genjutsu practice but she suspected she'd have to make students take turns for it. This is a hell of a lot easier. "Um.. alright. Well, no need for clones then, Naruto-"

"Oh, there is." He cuts in. "I need to observe my clone to see how their resistance to the genjutsu works and looks from the outside."

"Hmm.. An odd method, but…" She shrugs it off. "Seems you're got a decent idea what you're doing. No experience with shadow clones myself, don't quite have the chakra capacity for it." She snaps her fingers, and suddenly, all of them realize their surroundings are completely different from what they believed, standing by a waterfall instead of in standard, nondescript woods, and Kurenai is actually behind them. "but you've all got a long way to go in this department, so let's stop babbling and get to work."

"RIGHT!" Naruto instantly makes a eleven clones, sending six to the side while himself and five others remain near Kurenai. "Fire away at the six of us whenever you're ready!"

Sasuke can't help but slowly grin at that opportunity. "Oh, I'm going to make you see the most awful things you've ever witnessed, Naruto."

Sakura nods as she steps up beside him. "I second that. Payback time for Chuckles the Ass Clown."

Naruto slowly pales, as do his clones, but he's quickly in the receiving end of every genjutsu they both already know, mainly the False Surroundings and Hell Viewing jutsu.

Kurenai is instantly unsure what to think of Sasuke. She's intrigued, but also deeply worried as she watches more closely. At first, there's a clear, rivalrous bond between him and Naruto, but… there's a malice deep beneath it all that slowly surfaces, some resentment towards his comrade, that she feels is a more recent addition to their relationship. She peeks aside to Anko, hidden amongst the trees, and receives a curt and grim nod. Anko knows what's up with Sasuke, and relays what she can through a series of Anbu-standard hand signals mixed with letter-by-letter sign language to fill in blanks that aren't covered by Anbu strategic protocol.

She's snapped out of her thought for a moment as the real Naruto swears in pain as he's brought out of a genjutsu by Yoko biting his ear.

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In the southern reaches of the grounds, Asuma raises an eyebrow at his own three. He's not surprised by two of them, but one is a bit of a shocker. For one, there's Naruto. He saw the stunt the boy pulled, sending a clone off with Kurenai earlier. A smooth move to be sure, and left him assured that he was dealing with the original Naruto in his own party. He was surely here to work on his wind chakra with the village's own expert in that field. Next was Higurashi Tenten. Quite the girl, considering what he's heard. He got his trench knives from her father's shop, a custom order, and she's been working in there and learning every weapon type she can for quite a few years. Her talents in that field would be wonderfully applied to his specialty of elemental chakra weapon augmentation. But then there's Hyuuga Neji. He may be of the branch house, but just one look says he's as much of a traditionalist in his clan's ways as possible, and therefore not likely to really the type to take much to any of what he has to teach. So why would he be here? "So…" He takes a drag of his cigarette. "What brings you here, Neji? I get the other two, but you're a mystery."

He scoffs and narrows his eyes. "I wanted to see the prowess of Hokage-dono's own prodigal son, compared to the buffoon I work with on a daily basis. Some guidance from someone more competent and logical would be a wonderful change of pace."

"Neji!" Tenten scolds her teammate, getting in his face. "What the hell is wrong with you? Gai sensei might be eccentric, but he's a perfectly fine sensei!"

Naruto grumbles. "Not cool, Neji." He crosses his arms. "Bushy Brow Sensei might be weird, but he's an Elite Jonin for a reason. I get if ya don't like his methods, but that's nothing to talk sh*t about him for."

Neji's eyes narrow on Naruto. "As expected, a destined failure idolizes a fool who fought their way through the ranks to a position they don't deserve."

This nearly sets Naruto off into a rant, but he cools himself off quickly and instead of blowing over her just simmers and glares daggers into Neji's unerring eyes. "You've just made a powerful enemy, Neji. I hope you know that."

Neji scoffs and looks back to Asuma, straight ahead. "Powerful how? Your traps mean nothing to my eyes. I can see every one of them long before I'm close enough to set them off. Your skill set is abysmal and won't get you anywhere in this career."

Silence falls as Naruto's glare darkens until red seeps into his eyes. He then hears a voice in his mind. "As much as I want you to tear that arrogant white-eyed bastard a new asshole, it's best you not. Prove him wrong in your own way, brat." He calms down to a simmer again as the Kyuubi's words. He doesn't even dignify Neji with a response.

He instead turns to Asuma with a devious smirk. "If you can make clones, I suggest you split us up to teach us individually."

Asuma's eyes narrow, but he quickly nods and conjures his own Kage Bunshin. "Ya think I wouldn't have picked this one up from my dad? One of his favorites too, after all."

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In the west, Gai stands before Kurenai's entire team, grinning down to them with arms crossed and unwavering excitement. "Wonderful to see you all here! Hinata-chan, it's grand to finally meet you. Your cousin has been most unyouthful when speaking of you, and I fully intend to help you prove his arrogance!" He gives her the Nice Gai ™ thumbs-up before pointing to Kiba. "Kiba-kun, your clan's focus on raw instinct in combat has done well, but a proper martial style can be blended into instinct quite well if you drill it hard enough, and the physical conditioning would do you a world of good!" He steps towards Shino and crouches fast enough to power-slide on his feet for a foot or two, looking absolutely giddy and right up in his face. "And Shino-kun! What brings one of the prestigiously strategic Aburame to my class today?"

Shino stares blankly through his shades for a moment, but sighs and pulls his dominant hand- his left- from his pockets and flexes it. "Taijutsu has always been one of my clan's greatest weaknesses. This is something I intend to subvert, and to do so, I would need a specialist's insight. Suggestions for a style or two to utilize, how to condition myself safely enough to not risk my hives, and so-on." He huffs. "If you're not too squeamish to hear it, I'll tell you the details of internal hive management in private. My father's praise of your loyalty is enough for me to believe you worthy of hearing such clan secrets."

Gai throws him another thumbs-up. "Incredible! This is going to be the most unique training I've ever assisted with! Now…" He backs up to face them all with open arms. "Let your Fires of Youth burn bright! Ten laps around this training ground, and then, we'll get to a few spars so I can determine your perfect combat forms!"

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Three hours later, the four sensei and twelve students meet back up, only for Kurenai to look between the two Naruto on hand in confusion, before the one next to her pops into a cloud of smoke. The real Naruto grins ear to ear and folds his arms behind his head. "Thanks for the lessons, Kurenai-sensei! Seems at least one of my theories was right. The other's still kinda inconclusive, though…"

Sakura nods and with a smug grin. "The Red Burst method worked pretty well, should be easier for you than the clones."

Sasuke hums thoughtfully. "Could be dangerous, but no more so leaving yourself stuck in a genjutsu to get caught unaware."

Kakashi pats his student's back. "It's good practice for using that skill more often and easily, regardless. Now, everyone split up to meet with different sensei than your last one, and we'll split up for another three hours of training. After that, you'll all have the rest of your days off. Next week, we'll have a few more specialists on hand to suit less common skills."

Naruto nods and saunters to the one sensei he hadn't already worked with, finding Choji and Sakura also following him to Gai. "So, bushy-brow, sure you're got enough energy to keep up with me?"

He huffs. "Naruto, you might be one of the only students with enough stamina to keep up with me, but not quite the strength and speed to ensure it. We'll have to work on those. Sakura, you especially need work in that field, and Chouji, as speed is far from necessary for your clan's skill set, we'll be focusing more on strength for you." He turns and waves for them to follow him back to his corner of the grounds. "So, is there anything specific each of you is looking for?"

Sakura crosses her arms and hangs her head. "Honestly, I just need to improve my weakest trait so I can keep up with the others."

Chouji munches down another handful of chips, refueling the chakra he spent in his three hours with Kakashi. "I need to improve how much weight and force I can handle, and improve my blocking proficiency. I need to be able to catch and either cancel or deflect anything that comes at me."

Gai peeks back with a grin. "Oooh? Going for traditional Sumo methods then, are you? I can certainly help with that. It's far from a style I'm proficient with, grappling isn't quite me, but I know the foundations of it well enough to help you work you way up to mastering that art in short order." He peeks over his other shoulder. "And what of you, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto sighs and tilts his head back, staring at the sky. "I dunno. I've always been pretty good in taijutsu. Sasuke and Kiba were the only ones in our class that could consistently beat me, but I don't really have any finesse, any style. But if I do take one up, I want it to be something as unpredictable as the rest of my skills."

"Hmm.." Gai hangs his head and scratches his scalp a bit. "Unpredictable, huh?" He thinks it over for a few moments. "That's difficult. There's only two truly unpredictable styles I know of, and one won't suit you at all. The Drunken Fist is a very rare talent you have to be a natural with, and I know a certain… condition of yours prevents you from getting drunk to begin with."

"Eeeeh it's certainly hard. I've heard from a certain toad that there's one stash of booze that could do it, but it's hard to get your hands on and tastes like downing a cup of burning oil."

Gai shudders at that. "Remind me not to let Jiraiya near Lee. As for the other style, that would be Monkey style. There's only one person in the entire village who can teach you that one, ever since… well, since the youngest practitioner died in combat several years ago."

Naruto instantly goes silent as he recalls the Hokage's second son. Konohamaru's father. His loss was quite the event in this village. His funeral was vast and the mourning lasted for days, even among the shinobi ranks. It's still unknown who managed to kill him, but Naruto always got the sense that Jiji knew who had done it, and refused to publicize it. There was murder in his eyes for weeks.

But, that also means the one person left to teach this style is none other than the Sandaime Hokage himself. Naruto sighs and nods faintly. "I'll have to speak with him soon, then. For now, though... do you know any Wind or Earth styles I could learn to incorporate into it?"

This slowly brings a grin to his face. "A meshing of three styles, with the most unpredictable as the foundation? Oh, I cannot wait to see the results!" He cheers to the skies. "Very well, then! I'll be teaching you Feng Shou and Hung Gar Kuen! They mesh together surprisingly well, with Feng Shou focusing on deflection and meshing well with chop-focused styles and easily adapted into one, while Hung Gar Kuen is very grounded, direct, and impactful! Both use mid to low stances and mesh well with the foundation of Monkey!" He turns and points to Sakura. "And you, dear, will be learning a mesh of styles that surfaced in recent years which appears to be optimal for self-defense, guard positions, and maintaining control in extremely close quarters. It's called Krav Maga, and I just know you're going to have fun learning this one!"

Suddenly, three distinct sets of explosions go off at the other corners of the training ground, followed by a scream of rage from a high-pitched blonde in the distance. Naruto just grins ear-to-ear. "I love my job. I really do."

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Back in the northern corner of the grounds, Kakashi picks pieces of kelp from his hair as he addresses his next set of students. Lee Is grinning ear to ear at Naruto's prank, finding his comrade's trapping skills to be something of a marvel. Hinata can't help but giggle faintly at it all, despite her misfortune of getting a fish dropped on her head by Naruto's "Pond Bomb". Neji on the other hand is ignoring the mess of kelp and even a snail on his own head purely out of spite, narrowing a glare onto Hinata. "Cousin, it is unbecoming of you to support that fool's mechanisms. You're the heiress. Act like it for once, and the council may hate you a little less." He huffs. "Maybe you'll even be able to keep your seat instead of losing it to Hinabi."

This knocks the smile straight off her face. She instantly sinks into herself, staring at the ground as the water in her hair drips to her feet. Lee is taken aback by Neji's hateful words to his own family, but Kakashi cuts in before he can say a word. "Neji…" There's venom in his voice. "Hinata is your family and comrade. Do not speak down to her in my presence, or I assure you, you'll be receiving far more than training from me today."

Despite being entirely outclassed, Neji turns his glare upon his new sensei. "About that. You consider my sensei your comrade as well, and apparently, he calls you his rival. How is it that you, the most elite jonin we have, not only accept that green buffoon as your rival, but allow that orange charlatan to run free with his juvenile antics and still call him a shinobi, let alone your student?"

Kakashi falls silent for a few moments as he lets Neji's words sink in. He's worked plenty with the Hyuuga clan before. Judgmental. Traditional to a fault. There's a few idioms around the village about them ritualistically getting rods up their asses at birth to keep their backs straight and attitudes constantly sour. Neji instantly proves himself to be that clan's ideals pushed to extremes. There's no breaking that kind of mentality without a complete existential crisis. For now, Kakashi's only weapon against him is to use his own words against him. "So you think my friend and my student both fools, do you? Fine then." He slowly stands and cracks hic knuckles. "While my clones attend to the other two, I'll be coming at you with nothing but their skills that I happen to share, and I'll show you just how strong a fool can be."

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Kurenai coughs up the last few bits of glitter she accidentally inhaled from the initial blast. "Dear god, how did Naruto get that much?"

Tenten rubs some of it between her fingers. "Hmmm… Well, thankfully, this is the kind made from seaweed. Biodegradeable, it'll be gone in a few weeks without us having to clean anything."

"Good…" Shikamaru lays in the grass, eyes still closed, and completely covered in glitter he hasn't bothered to brush off. "Too troublesome to clean all of this."

Ino finally makes her way back from the nearby stream, but there's still some glitter in her hair. "Ugh, he HAD to get the ultra-fine stuff!" She huffs. "At least once you get rid of most of it, it's a half-decent fashion statement." She grumbles and crosses her arms. "Anyway… let's just get to training."

"WAIT!" Tenten jumps up. "Before we start…" She pulls a notebook from a seal inside her left pocket and holds it up to Kurenai with a pen. "Can I please get your autograph? I've always admired you for being our top jonin kunoichi! Your signature in here could only be beaten by Tsunade-sama herself!"

Kurenai blushes faintly, but she can't help but grin at that enthusiasm. "Well, I hope I can help you be half as good as I am! Alright, why not? Wow…" She takes the book and pen to fill in one of the later pages, already labeled with her name. "This is actually the first time anyone's asked this of me…"

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Kiba is still struggling to breathe through his hoodie as an atrocious stench drifts across Asuma's corner of the grounds. Sasuke is as nonplussed as ever, just ignoring it as best he can. Shino on the other hand is plugging his nose with his kikaichu, and Asuma is fending it off with the smell of his cigarette. "Hmm… not a bad mix, Naruto. Pretty sure he had to hunt a few skunks for some of the ingredients in this one."

"I know he did." Sasuke grumbles. "He was bragging about this one for weeks."

Kiba roars to the skies. "I'm gonna kick his ass the moment this training's over!"

"I would advise against that." Shino cuts in, pushing up his glasses. "You'll only become a victim of an even worse, very targeted prank."

"He's right." Sasuke side-eyes the Inuzaka. "Best to just leave it be."

"Well…" Asuma puffs out a plume of smoke. "Best way to distract yourself from something like this is extreme training. So, what are each of you after?"

Kiba keeps the cloth of his hoodie up over his mouth and nose. "Akamaru and I are both looking to learn to channel our elemental chakra into our claws." The pup cowering in his hood nods.

Asuma raises an eyebrow. "Both of you? Never trained a ninken before. Never heard of one using an element, either… but I'd love to see where it goes. Alright, then. And how about you, Shino?"

"A similar quandary." He raises his hand, showing a horde of kikaichu feeding from the chakra he channels to it. "I intend to produce enough elemental chakra to feed it to my kikaichu and produce hives that specialize in those elements."

Asuma's jaw slacks and almost drops his cigarette. "Whoa… you really are Shiki's kid. He must be proud of you for a plan that merges insanity and logic so fluidly." He sighs and shakes his head. "Alright, I suppose that'll do, then. And Sasuke?"

"Actually, I have a really different request." He reaches into his left pocket and pulls out none other than the Raijin no Ken, sparking it to life. "I've heard you channel wind chakra into those trench knives. That'd make you the perfect sparring partner for me to train with this against without shocking you."

Asuma slowly steps closer to inspect the legendary weapon. "Well I'll be damned. Kakashi told me my dad let you keep this, but I never expected to see it. You've got yourself a deal, kid." He puffs up one more plume of smoke before producing two clones to split up the training. "Let's get to work." He grins as Sasuke draw his tsurugi in his right hand and channels lightning chakra into that as well. He instantly knows he'll have fun with this kid. Skilled, ambitious, quiet, courteous, yet far from condescending with any of those properties. For the next three hours, the only thing that sours his joy with this training session is sparks of anger that seep through into his combat, pushing him into more violent attacks and reckless strategies.

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Shortly after two PM, the twelve students and their four sensei separate. Hinata reluctantly returns Yoko to Naruto after nearly half an hour of everyone just mingling in the central field. Sasuke turns away to head home first, having been standing aside and not talking to anyone for the last ten minutes. His leave grabs Naruto's attention, but then he recalls the plans he made with the Kyuubi that morning and bolts to Ino. "Hey, real quick! Any chance I can follow you back home to speak with your dad? I've got a few critical questions for him that'll be pretty important for some seals I'm working on." Yoko leaps back up into his hood, leaving Naruto stumbling back for a moment from the sudden weight pulling at his shoulders.

Ino hums and tilts her head as she thinks it over. "He didn't have any meetings after one or missions today, so… I think he should be open for that. Sure, I'll guide ya there. On one condition, though!" She leans into his face. "You need to tell me everything you can about the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. I need it to pull together my own technique I'm working on."

Naruto backs away as she leans in so close, but nods eagerly. "O-Of course! Let's get going!" He turns back to everyone else. "See you all in two days! And Hinata, we gotta test out wind chakra against each other sometime! I gotta see how good you've gotten!"

Hinata turns away to try and hide how red her face has gotten, but calls out to him regardless. "M-Maybe t-tomorrow?"

"Sure! See ya here at three?"

"O-Of course, Naruto-kun!" She waves to him as he leaves, and everyone slowly breaks away to enjoy the remainder of their days- all save for Neji, who's in excruciating pain from getting his ass beaten into next week by Kakashi for three hours, and instead started limping home immediately after training.

But two of the sensei break away together, tracking Sasuke's slow route back to the Uchiha compound. Kurenai is biting her index finger as she thinks over everything she saw today. "… You know what Anko had in mind when she suggested we pay attention to Sasuke, don't you?"

He nods somberly. "Yes, I do. And we both know at least part of how he feels." He almost lights another cigarette, but huffs and puts it away when she glares at him. "You with the loss of family… and me with feeling like what family I had and looked up to most betrayed me. He's in a really bad place, 'nai. He needs our help."

"I know, but…" She bites a bit harder. "Are we… are we ready for something like that? I mean, we aren't even-" She stops herself short, but Asuma cuts in.

"Married? Yeah… but who says we need to be? We can still take care of him… if he lets us. For now, we just keep helping him, getting closer, seeing if he'll let us…" He gently caresses her cheek and turns her to face him. "and if our status means that much to you in this… then f*ck the risk of you having my name. We'll just have to be strong enough that no assassin would dare make a move on you for having it."

Her eyes go wide as she gazes deep into his half-lidded hazels. All her shinobi training goes out the window, and tears well in her eyes. "A-Asuma… d.. d-do you really mean that?"

He slowly nods. "Seeing that kid today reminded me of everything I've lost, that I stupidly left behind… and everything I have to gain. So yes. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

For an experienced career shinobi, acting on anything in broad daylight is rarely a good idea, but on this day, they change the fate of the world with a passionate kiss in the open air of Konoha's shopping district, turning heads and stilling hearts. Although in that moment it is merely a burst of joy and love unbridled, in the years to come it will be an Avenger once again a son, a Martyr off his cross, an estranged found family never to be broken, and the plans of a snake in the grass and a mole in the roots both undone.

Chapter 19: Cascading Change

Chapter Text

"Ok, I know what I asked for didn't sound the best." Naruto sits tied to a chair in the Yamanaka clan compound. Specifically, he's in Inouichi's private office, shortly after Ino had dropped him off to speak with her father. His arms are bound behind him and several suppression seals now litter his body. He always wondered what clan provided most of those for the Anbu. Guess that's answered now. "But really, this is unnecessary." He blows at the seal hanging over his face. "Really tired of doing this Jiangshi impression."

Inouichi keeps a kunai in hand as he watches Naruto from a distance. "You should be silent until the Hokage gets here to discuss whatever the hell is wrong with your seal for the fox to convince you to make me dive in to be his snack."

He snorts. "You're one of the few people of high rank that he actively knows of in this village that's not on his 'to eat' list, actually. Hokage-jiji barely squeaked by getting on it cuz he respects the man enough to overshadow the bullsh*t that got thrown at him when he was possessed during the attack when I was born."

Inouichi pauses. "… Wait... possessed?"

"I was hoping you'd pick up on that quick." Naruto shrugs. "Long story short, sharingan."

Inouichi slowly picks up his jaw and narrows his eyes. "… That's… quite the serious accusation. Yet none left to accuse, as there's only two Uchiha alive, and neither responsible."

"Yeah, I know. Still, once Jiji gets here. He'll confirm it. And probably tell you to do what I've asked for anyway."

"No." He spins his kunai a bit. "Still not falling for that one."

"You might, actually." Hiruzen opens the sliding door and steps through into the office. "Nothing to really fall for, he's being perfectly honest, if a bit forward and stupid with his methods."

"Well I'm sorry there's no safe way to ask someone to talk to the demon in your head." Naruto huffs and hangs his head. "Now can you please untie me so we can get this over with?"

Hiruzen pauses and peeks behind Naruto. "I don't think I need to."

"Yeah, I know." The ropes start falling around him and he stands while shaking his wrists before pulling the suppression seals off one by one. "Ugh, that hurt a bit. If not for my healing factor, you woulda been cued in by the blood from my failed attempts at cutting the ropes with wind chakra." He cracks his stiff neck. "I'm lucky you put most of the suppressing seals on my head and stomach to deal with the fox. Neglecting my hands made that escape method kind of obvious."

Inouichi stammers aimlessly as he looks between Naruto and the Hokage. "How… Why are you supporting this?"

Hiruzen chuckles softly as he reaches out to rub Naruto's sore shoulders, gently comforting his adoptive grandson to silently apologize for the hassle tonight. Naruto seems to lose his co*cky façade and soften up on contact. "Because I'm impressed how much he's taking after one of my students."

That shuts Inouichi right up. He knows all too well that Hiruzen means Jiraiya, so he knows to keep a close eye on this unpredictable escape artist hellchild. "I… see. Well…" He clears his throat. "I suppose I can humor his request then, if you truly believe it's safe. If both of you would take a seat…" He pulls a chair up beside Naruto's and gestures for them both to take them. Naruto lowers himself back into the same seat he'd been tied to and crosses his arms. "Alright, be sure to drag all three of us in." He grin. "This one should be fun."

That does very little to calm Inouichi, but he places a hand over both their foreheads and channels his jutsu. "Let's just get this over with…"

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Clean across the village, deep in the Uchiha compound, Sasuke kills the rest of his day with more relentless training. The log in front of him is charred at every angle and slowly blackening, layers of soot tearing away with every hit as he slowly but surely decimates his own limbs. The damage is already stacking up and every strike hurts, but he just couldn't care less right now.

That is, until Kurenai is suddenly leaning against the next log over. "Your form is certainly good, but you're over-turning your back, and you're really gonna feel it tomorrow."

Sasuke stops just before landing another kick, slowly lowering his leg. "I thought Gai was the taijutsu expert."

"Oh, he is." She huffs. "But I know how much that hurts from experience. Kind of hard not to do when you're training with your mind elsewhere, right?" Sasuke tries to avoid reacting, but as an inexperienced genin, she catches the twitch in his eyes all too easily. "I've been there, you know." She turns her gaze to the sky. "… When the Kyuubi killed my parents and I lost everything… I guess my training suffered a lot when I felt I had nothing left to fight for. I still trained, but horribly. Injured myself a lot, lost days of progress at a time…" She sighs and hangs her head, shaking it a bit as she sees Sasuke return to his kicking routine. "I tried to get help from the only distant family I had left, but our clan still wanted nothing to do with me."

That startles Sasuke out of his training to the point of aiming too high, kicking the log with his toes, and hopping back while holding his foot. "AGH- son of a- WHAT?!"

Kurenai can't manage to stifle her giggling. "I know, it's not exactly common knowledge. You see, my mother was born of the Uchiha clan, but with a mutation of the bloodline. Born with red eyes, but never developed any tomoe, never had any ability to copy ninjutsu, just an incredible knack for casting genjutsu. That deviation wasn't taken lightly, and she was ostracized completely. She married out of the clan and cast the name of Uchiha aside out of spite for her treatment." She sighs and crosses her arms as she turns her gaze out across the compound. "I always wished I could have grown up here, though."

Silence falls as Sasuke calms from his martially violent toe-stubbing and sets his foot down. "So… Even my father didn't want you around?"

She shakes her head. "No… Fugusaku was never quite an open-minded man. That may not be what you want to hear, but…"

"No, I get it." Sasuke turns his gaze to the place that had once been his parents' bedroom. "… He… ignored me a lot, too. Always praising Itachi and never giving me the time of day." He sighs and hangs his head. "Always thought I'd just never gotten the chance to impress him."

"… You've impressed me." That draws Sasuke's eyes up in an instant. The gentle smile on her face is far too genuine for any shinobi to fake. "You've been through more than any child should ever see, more horrors than most shinobi will ever know, and yet… here you are. Going strong and with no signs of giving up." Her smile slowly fades. "But that doesn't mean you're not still in a great deal of pain."

Sasuke turns away to avoid her eyes. Those damned red eyes. Such a reminder of family. They feel so much like home that it brings his guard down far more easily than he could ever admit. "I'm fine, Kurenai-sensei. If that's all you're here for, then-"

"Not at all." Once again, Sasuke's shocked into looking up to her as she pushes herself off the log and stands across from him. "I'd like to help you train your genjutsu more. Your ideas are unique, and structurally sound, but they'll take a lot of practice. What you're aiming for is a type of sensory manipulation few genjutsu have ever produced before. Your elements may make it a tad easier, but it's still an uphill battle. So…" She starts stretching her fingers. "Let's go over the potential handsigns from some similar genjutsu and see what we can produce."

After a few moments, Sasuke nods and activates his sharingan. "Show me the jutsu, and I'll read how chakra reacts to each set of signs."

"Hmmm…" She smirks. "Smart kid."

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Shikaku Nara takes a seat at his favorite bar to find a man he's recently discovered to have taken a liking to the place as well. Not a surprise, as the owner and head bartender is a former shinobi himself and good at dealing with their kind. As such, the grizzled ex-nukenin known as Momochi Zabuza could easily be found there. He lowers his glass and side-eyes his new drinking buddy. "Shikaku? Well damn…" He snorts and takes another drink. For once, he's chosen to forego his mask to fully enjoy it. "To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting the shinobi world's top strategist?"

He grunts a bit. "Never expected such sarcasm from a nukenin. Still, glad to know my name still means something out there." He taps the bar and is wordlessly served his usual sake. "I hear you're already familiar with some of our genin and their sensei. As it turns out, we started a new training program, and we're in need of weapons instructors. I know Kubikirihoucho is unconventional, but you're good with plenty of other blades and blunt weapons if I recall." He peeks up with a sideways glance out of his saucer. "We're hoping you might want to join them and work with Gekko Hayate on the matter. Might be a decent way to kill time and get that good behavior racked up to get anbu off your back."

"Gekko?" He hums at that. "Interesting. Met the man once. Only a Tokubetsu, but his skills with a blade are impressive. Heard he's retired from most active duty, though."

He nods. "That he is. Inhaled a bit too much smoke from a fire jutsu and it's done serious damage to his lungs. Still, he's skilled and attentive as ever. Just lacking in stamina now."

"Shame…" Zabuza sips down more of a his beer. "Mm…. woulda liked to spar with him in his prime. Still, I don't see why I can't step in and put the kids through the ringer. Haku never took to blades, so it'd be nice to pass that skill on to someone. Already know that Uchiha brat's got potential."

"Sasuke? Yeah, surely. So does that mean you're in, then?"

He huffs and slams his empty bottle down. "Tell me where, and I'll be there. Expect Haku as well, I'm sure she'll be eager."

"Hmmm…" He takes a notebook from his pocket to jot that down. "That could have some interesting results, I suppose. Feel free to bring her, then." He pushes himself up from his seat and steps away. "I'd join you for a drink, but I have a few other stops to make. Tomorrow night maybe, once this is all settled?"

Zabuza peeks back over his shoulder. "Sure. And bring Ibiki if ya can, I've always wanted to meet that madman." He takes a swig. "Outside the interrogation room, anyway."

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Across the village from the bar, deep in the main shopping district, Haku wanders into a flower shop in search of a few species she could never manage to find in her travels. Quite a few require drier climates than what she was used to traveling through, so there's sure to be at least a couple of the ones on her list.

What she first finds through the door is a blonde ponytail whipping around behind a girl in purple as she gathers a bouquet for her only current customer. Ino jumps back over the counter with practiced ease, proving herself to have some degree of shinobi training, but Haku can't be sure just how much.

"Here you go, Iruka-sensei!" Ino hands the completed bouquet across to her former teacher with a grin. "Be sure to put in a good word for Anko for me too, alright? I'm really looking forward to training with her!"

Iruka sighs and scratches his head. "I'll be sure to let her know ya made this for her. She'll repay you, somehow. Just don't expect her to go easy on you, literally all of her teaching methods are painful and humiliating."

"Um…" Ino pales a bit. "I'll keep that in mind, I guess."

"Right… Well, I should get goi- oh!" Iruka turns around to find the Hyoton Heiress's gentle smile. "Haku! How've you been enjoying Konoha so far?"

"Haku?" Ino peeks out from behind him, then leaps over the counter. "So you're the girl Naruto was rambling about! Well…" She steps up with one hand outstretches and her other arm folded behind her back. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, one of his old academy classmates."

Haku gladly takes her hand and shakes. "Momochi Haku. I'm surprised Naruto was so talkative about me."

"Oh, it was hard to get him to shut up." Iruka shrugs a bit as Ino retracts her hand. "When he runs into something that's trouble for his traps, he tends to obsess over it until he finds solutions. When he obsesses, her rambles."

"Trouble for his- Oh." She pauses and tilts her head as she thinks that over. "I suppose my ice would be quite a risk to him. Locking up mechanisms, covering seals to trap their contents, reconfiguring the ground… I may be his strongest counter in our generation, in that light."

"Oh, definitely." Ino sighs and hangs her head. "And to think he used to be the weakest in our class. But that was well before graduation. Now, I have no idea."

"Well, I guess that's just proof of you all being rather talented. I believe in our few days together before returning here, he mentioned you being one of the more troublesome members of his class. He called your skill set…" She pauses. "I believe he said 'scarier than Tora on a catnip binge'. I have no idea who Tora is, but I'm guessing you would."

Ino forces a twitching smile. "Oh, well, I'll have to thank him for that later. By being my test dummy. S-So, um, Haku.." She shakes off her rage. "How are you liking the village so far?"

"Well…" She lowers herself onto a bench by the register, prepared for customers waiting on complex orders. "A bit overwhelming, honestly. I've spent most of my life on the run with Zabuza-sama. I'm not used to being around such large crowds, or crowds in general. Need to find a few quieter places to spend my time."

"I believe I may be of some assistance." Haku jumps a bit as she raises her head to find a boy in a gray trench coat and sunglasses. "Aburame Shino, at your service."

"Oh, Shino, hey!" Ino pulls an envelope out of a drawer beneath the register and tosses it to him. He catches it with practiced ease. "There's the payment and order for our next pest control session." She leans on the counter to peek around the register to Haku. "Shino here really would be the right guy to ask. He's the quietest guy I know and knows all the best natural views around. Go with him, and you'll be sure to find yourself a new haven before sundown."

Shino pushes his glasses up. "I do my best. And any friend of Naruto's a friend of mine. He's always been a remarkable judge of character."

"As I've seen." Haku giggles softly as she stands. "We were still enemies the second time we met, and he still managed to talk me down and into negotiating a collaboration against the man who'd hired me. Most would call it foolish, but I suppose Naruto's success proves otherwise."

"Oh, but he is most definitely a fool." Shino offers his arm to her. "So, how about a nice waterfall first? There's some fascinating dragonfly species there I'd been hoping to check on today."

"Um... s-sure! That sounds lovely!" She slips her left arm around Shino's right before peeking back to Ino. "Thanks for the suggestion, Ino! I'll be sure to visit again soon! I came in looking for a few rare flowers, but I suppose I found something better. I'll see you both later!"

Once Shino and Haku have made their way out, Iruka raises an eyebrow at Ino. "… Are you seriously trying to play matchmaker?"

"Sensei, I make flower arrangements for couples on a daily basis in here, and I figured out what was up between Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei on day one as a genin. You know I live for this stuff, and I'm good at it."

.

.

"… so then I kicked Shukaku out of his own desert for about ten years and the Nanabi and I alternated between dueling and partying in an oasis there until the booze Shukaku fermented from that cactus field ran out."

"Hmmm…." Hiruzen strokes his beard thoughtfully. "Been many years since I've had a cactus brew. I can't quite recall what it was called. I doubt Onoki's forgotten that night, though. I forgot most of it, but he was the one trying to reel me in all night."

Inoichi facepalms quite audibly. "Are you seriously more of a lightweight than me?"

"No, I can compete with Anko and Chouza, I just had enough to make Tsunade have a conniption when I told her this story."

Naruto is grinning ear to ear as he lounges in a chair a short distance outside the fox's seal cage. "Before I take your hat, you gotta tell me every one of these stories, Jiji."

"Couldn't agree more." The Kyuubi lounges on the other side of the bars, quite laxed in the presence of two of the village's strongest. "But for now, I believe we've been rambling in here for long enough. So, Inoichi." He narrows his gaze on the mind-diver. "I may need to communicate with Naruto in combat without him relying on my chakra. Do you know of seals that could be used to do this?"

Inoichi lowers his hand from his face, slowly dragging it until it rests over his mouth. When he finally has an answer, he claps and spreads a seal layout into the air in glowing lines of chakra. "This array is normally used to link multiple of my clansmen into a single mind searching session, directed by whomever is at the center of the circuit. By removing this component…" He pulls away one piece and dissolves it. "And modifying these lines as such…" He swipes at a few to redirect and reshape them. "therefore creating a one-way circuit so that genjutsu Naruto is caught in don't effect you, so you can then knock him out of them…"

"Now, hold on a second." Naruto gets up and pokes at several points in the seal. "These here seem a bit redundant."

"The human mind is full of redundancies, this is to compensate for and coincide with them to prevent an overload caused by direct feeds."

"Alright, makes decent sense. I ain't any good at psychology or biology, so that's all you. How about this feedback circuit? I already have the seal rigged to let the Kyuubi witness everything going on with me as long as I don't actively cut him out, like when I'm taking a shower. Can't we just remove the feedback route and rely on the mechanism I already have in place, to keep it simple?"

"Hmmm…" Inoichi scratches his head. "Potentially, but you've gotta show me how you managed that. We may be able to incorporate it and make things a bit more efficient."

Off to the side, Hiruzen leans against one of the bars of the prison and peeks back to the Kyuubi. "He's impressive, isn't he?"

"I suppose he is. I see more of his obnoxious father every day, and yet his damned mother is still at the core of his personality. And yet… unlike them, I can't bring myself to quite hate him." He smirks. "He's a free spirit, who much like me, doesn't give a damn what the world thinks, but knows he'll get them to change their tune in time. He doesn't go with the order. He makes the chaos that forces it to change for the better. I couldn't ask for a better host." He grumbles. "Besides one who has enough control to improve my cell more."

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Halfway across the elemental nations, to the northwest and on the jungle border, several chuunin and a single jonin with headbands marked by a vertically bifurcated downward arrow stand around the base of their holy tree. The Jonin's eyes narrow on the two corpses found at the entrance to the Hero Water shrine. The chuunin ramble around him.

"What the hell are we gonna do?

"How the f*ck did this happen?!"

"We gotta find who did it! We need kill them before they use the Hero Water!"

"It was you, wasn't it?! You always hated being stuck as a chuunin!"

"Hey, I didn't so this! Keep that kunai away from me! Besides, it had to be that monstrous brat, Fuu! She could survive using this sh*t, of course she wants it so she can kill us a-"

"SILENCE!" All chuunin present fall silent and look to their commanding Jonin the moment he barks out. He towers over them, a hulk of a man that even Morino Ibiki may be intimidated by. He's rather pale, with thick, dark circled under his eyes. His head sports a short but spiky cut, with a pointed beard down to his chest. He runs his fingers through his ebony facial hair as he inspects the wounds on the assassinated Jonin. The culprit was careless regarding any attempts at hiding his identity, but only because none but the oldest and most informed of the village would have a clue. Even then, none of them could od anything about the man who committed these atrocities. He was far too old, too far gone by now, and far too powerful to touch. His techniques are considered lost to the village after he'd personally stolen them in his escape from the village, and now, Taigakure's greatest mistake has come back to haunt them just as their sacred tree's hundred year cycle was completed. The Jonin's brow furls as his eyes dart up to a lonely green-haired genin girl tucked into the branches of another tree in the distance, awaiting the people's harsh judgement in the wake of a tragedy she had nothing to do with. If the intel he received recently and gave to Jiraiya is correct, this would be an ironically indirect way for the culprit to harm her years before he plans to do so directly. "Kakuzu… Why have you come back? The one secret we had left doesn't apply to you any longer. So why would you care to take it?..."

Chapter 20: Fates of Burning Passion

Chapter Text

The following morning, Naruto stumbles out of his bedroom with Yoko at his heels and his fists rubbing at his eyes. He's barely dressed, not that anyone in his home would give a damn at this hour as Iruka's his dad, and Anko is kind of a slob. He's stunned when he lowers his hands to find two more at the table, though. Sasuke has come to join them, which isn't too much of a shocker with him right next door, but is one regardless with his emotional distance lately. The real shocker is Kurenai-sensei seated next to him and enjoying some heavily spiced Furikake as Iruka and Anko argue over control of the stove. Yoko trots over and hops up into Kurenai's lap, and she immediately pets her with her free hand. "Well, good morning to you too, dear."

Sasuke peeks up and raises an eyebrow as he catches sight of his teammate. "Frog boxers? Really?"

"Oi." Naruto narrows his eyes. "You're one to talk, Tomato Tighties." Sasuke's jaw drops as he glares in indignation, stammering for a moment while Kurenai sputters and nearly chokes on her food.

"Hey, that was four years ago! Speak another word of it, and I'll throw you in the Inuzaka kennel covered in bacon!"

"Try it and I'll replace myself with you, and you know you don't have the chakra to reverse it on me." He grins. "Nice to have ya back, ya bastard." He drops into his seat. "So what brings you over at this hour, Kurenai-sensei?"

"Ah, well, I was training Sasuke a bit last night, we got carried away and it was rather late when we stopped. I ended up crashing in his guest room instead so I could come over and enjoy breakfast with Anko for the first time in months."

Anko groans and tilts back to stare at Kurenai over her shoulder. "Again, I'm sorry! I rarely even stay at my own apartment anymore!" She grumbles. "I swear, I'll find more time for ya, ok? Just the two of us tonight."

Kurenai giggles softly through her food, but refuses to reply until it's swallowed. It's a true mystery how such a proper kunoichi can be best friends with such a slob as Anko. "Well, I'm just glad Iruka's managed to tame you a bit. I could have sworn you would have ruined the man instead."

Iruka shrugs. "Who says she hasn't at least a bit? I'd say it's a two-way-street."

Naruto nods. "There's a reason I gave them a ton of my silencing seals for their bedroom."

Sasuke almost spits out his orange juice.

"Aaanyway…" Naruto shrugs as he digs into the omelet his father's just served him. "I've gotta meet with Hinata on our join training ground at three. Until then, I'm hammering out the seal I was working with Inoichi on yesterday."

Kurenai raises an eyebrow at him. "Inoichi? What kind of seal were you working on with him? Cerebral interface seals are incredibly advanced. It may be one of his clan's specialties, but it makes Inoichi one of the village's top sealmasters, just a few ranks beneath Jiraiya."

Sasuke look sup form his meal. "Oh, did he finally help you get the fox and Hokage-sama in contact?"

Kurenai drops her chopsticks.

"Yeah, that conversation went pretty well. He was in a pretty good mood, but I think that was largely because he was entertained by how scared sh*tless Inoichi was."

"Inoichi may be a tricky bastard…" Anko cuts in. "But he's also a complete f*cking wimp. That man doesn't have half the stomach Ibiki and I have, and the only reason he's allowed into interrogation is his jutsu. No practical skills in the field at all."

"Hold on one second!" Kurenai leans in towards Sasuke. "You know about that?!"

"Yeah. Naruto's my teammate. I probably know more about it than you do." He smirks. "Now doesn't that sting?"

She stares incredulously, then flops back into her seat and huffs. "Your generation is going to be the death of me, I swear. Ok, fine. So what's up with this seal you're making, then?"

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Across town, the village's most adorable bun-haired badass is hard at work in her father's weapon shop, restocking shelves of basic weaponry that's been purchased en masse recently. Thankfully, Gai-sensei didn't schedule training this morning, so she's not running on fumes out the gate as the store opens. Today should make for an easy day then, but also… remarkably boring after yesterday's training.

Thankfully, the answer to her boredom comes in just a few minutes after opening, as a familiar puppy rushes to her feet and yaps up at her. "Oh, Akamaru! What brings you here, huh?" She kneels down to pet him as Kiba catches up.

"Eh, just out for our morning run, and figured we should stop in for a few. Actually had a few questions for ya that just popped into my head after training yesterday."

"You too, huh?" She huffs as she stands. "Training with the other sensei really expanded how I view my own skill set, and got me thinking on how to improve on parts I've ignored. Kurenai's creativity kinda rubbed off on me, I guess." She clenches her fists. "I wanna put that to use, but I just can't settle on an idea!

"Really?" Kiba grins ear to ear. "Because I might have a solution for ya, and I think you'll be seeing a lot of our classmates for the same sorta thing."

Tenten peeks up from her clenched fists and tilts her head. "Um… ok? What've ya got in mind?"

"Well…" He scratches the back of his head as he pulls a scroll from his hoodie pockets. "I'm no good at math, but this is the details that my sister wrote up after studying the scoring pattern made from my Gatsuga. She said you could apply this to building something to advance my techniques a bit."

She takes the scroll and slowly rolls it open, reading over the details bit by bit until she starts to develop patterns and molds in the back of her mind. Eventually, she grins ear-to-ear as she sees where this is going. "Kiba… I think you just brought me my second calling."

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Sakura's morning routine has changed drastically since becoming part of a team. Early mornings for training have become a habit, and she can't manage to stay in bed or at home for long in the morning anymore. So this morning, she finds herself out for a jog, seeking to improve her biggest weakness: her stamina. That weakness became greatly apparent during her training yesterday, and she's more determined than ever to fix it.

That ambition ends up catching the eye of one of her upperclassmen. Lee slows himself to match Sakura's pace as he catches up, but he's bringing his knees uncomfortable high to make up for the lack of speed. "Sakura-chan! This morning was already wonderful, but running into you has certainly only made it better!"

Sakura giggles nervously. She certainly appreciates his kindness, but Lee's always seemed a bit uncomfortably overzealous to her. "W-Well, thank you, Lee. How many laps are you on already, then?"

"This would be my fifth! After yesterday's more laxed training for the majority of my time, I find that I'm far more refreshed and handling this morning's run with relative ease. Perhaps there's merit to taking some time off occasionally?"

"Oh, definitely." Sakura scoffs. "That's medicine 101. You 're constantly overtaxing yourself, the way you and Gai train. Spend a bit more time focusing on mental training and techniques, and you'll get results faster than ever."

"Is that so?" Lee looks away and tilts his head, pouting faintly. "Have I really been so wrong for so long? That's a lot to think about." He sighs and hangs his head. "But, that does give me more time to focus on my newer techniques."

"Speaking of new techniques…" Sakura looks over the bandages on his arms. "I've been learning plenty of medical jutsu. I usually practice them on my teammates, but your injuries are sure to be pretty different from theirs. Mind if I tag along to patch you up and test myself? May give you a chance to test your more volatile skills and not be at a deficit after."

Lee suddenly turns to jog sideways as his eyes appear to be on fire with pure passion. "Sakura-chan, that's a wonderful idea! COME! We must make our way to Training Ground 9 at once!" Regardless of Sakura's own speed, Lee takes off with almost religious fervor and leaves her in the dust.

"Damnit, Lee… Well, I guess I need to train my top speed up as well." She breaks into a sprint to try and catch up, but it still takes her three minutes longer to find him waiting in a field and doing stretches in front of a log he's prepared to test his biggest jutsu on. Gai-sensei might be angry at him for using it, but he's never had a medic on hand before during training…

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Chouza sits beside his son atop the cliffs on the village's outskirts, far off to the left from the Hokage monument. It's quite the climb to get up here, but there's plenty of space for the training he has in mind. "Now, Chouji… as a legal shinobi, there's a few things you need to know. For one, you're now of a legal drinking age, although you really shouldn't yet, but I do believe you're ready to apply that to some severely underused techniques in our clan's repertoire." He takes a sip of his own sake. "It won't be too potent at first. Our clan's flavorful palate makes drinking a bit of a hassle until you've had enough to develop a taste for it. But, I believe you've got the stomach for it, and the results will speak for themselves."

Chouji nods faintly as he stares out over the village. "You must mean great uncle Raichou's Ryū no Iki (Dragon's Breath) techniques. I've certainly heard a lot about those jutsu, but…"

"Yes, I know…" Chouza sighs. "His time away from us at the temple has been long and quiet. But, I know the basics of them, and although I'm no good with them, the fire in your heart and an in your gut will make you a prodigy with them. The ability to apply the foundation of our jutsu, converting raw fat to chakra, and then augmenting it with alcohol, and further with your fire chakra, will produce flames that although limited in range, will be incredibly potent. The only fire jutsu in this village to reach its potential have been cast by the Uchiha, Sarutobi, and Lord Jiraiya." He reaches into the basket between them and pulls out another saucer, then a bottle wafting a rather sweet aroma. "This is a sake blend preserved for clan members who are just starting to drink. A nigori-zake blended with taru-zake and infused with a bit of cherry harvested from the Aburame orchards." He pours some for his son and slowly stands with his own saucer in hand. "It will help you to start developing a proper alcohol tolerance, and eventually, you may be able to perform your great uncle's techniques with a far greater efficiency and strength than even I could muster." He downs his saucer, but rather than swallowing, he charges his mouth with chakra, fires up a bit of lightning between his teeth, and breathes out a concentrated stream of alcohol-fueled flame that burns blindingly bright. Its distance is only as great as a beginner's Fireball, but its potency clearly outranks it. The heat rolling off this flame is intense enough to force Chouji to reel back, and when Chouza ends the technique, he turns to show his lips are already blistering. "I could never master this jutsu. But you, my son, just might."

Chouji stares in awe for a few moments, but slowly nods and dives at his own saucer, quickly sipping it down- only to flinch and spit it out a moment later. "I thought you said this was watered-down and sweeter!"

"Boy, you'll quickly learn that alcohol is a strong taste that's very hard to mask."

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Naruto wanders into yesterday's training grounds to find Hinata in the middle of a few kata drills, and he can't help but just stop and watch her for a few moments, until she turns enough to realize he's there and she trips over her own feet. She flails on her way to the ground, and Naruto can't help but laugh a bit as he makes his way over. "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you." Yoko beats him there and she starts licking at Hinata's face right away, knocking her out of her stupor almost instantly.

"Y-Yoko, please, t-that's enough! I missed you too, sweetie!" Hinata gently pushes her back and starts to pet the fox as she sits up. "I-it's fine Naruto, I was just a bit too focused on my training. I should work more on keeping my senses honed while I'm at it."

"Yeah, I get that. You know how I get when I'm making seals." He reaches into his hoodie's collar and brings out a strip of cloth with a seal painted on the side facing him, and clips the top of it in place under his headband on his right side. "Alright, field test two. Running smoothly, fox?"

"Yes, boy, I can hear you fine. How is it on your end?"

"Works fine so far, but it might get a bit rough during combat. Jostling the seal too much might interrupt contact a bit."

"Um… Naruto-kun?" He's broken from his thoughts to find Hinata looking him over with her Byakugan active "That seal…" Her eyes dart around to make sure nobody is nearby and listening. "… is he speaking to you through it?"

Naruto's mouth drops open, but the Kyuubi just barks out in laughter from within his mind. "Smart girl! Thought she would have known by now, with all the stalking she does."

"Wait- stalking?! Ok, we're talking about that later!" Naruto clears his throat and nods. "Um… y-yeah, he is. Normally, I have to meet him in my sleep, but this seal will keep us in contact as long as it's connecting his seal and my head." He looks away and scratches the back of his head. "It's just a prototype right now, so I'm not putting it on my body until I'm completely sure there's no faults in it."

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata slowly smiles and pushes herself to her feet. "I've known for a long time… and never thought any less of you. So… please, don't look away. I'm not afraid…" She closes her eyes and shivers. "and I've never hated you like all the fools in this village that only see you as a demon." She clenches her fist, fighting the rising heat in her cheeks and constant urge to faint purely by proximity to him. "When I saw them ruining your home, it made me angrier than I thought I was capable of…"

"Wait…" Naruto steps closer. "That was you? You reported them all?!"

She looks up and drops her Byakugan finally, shocked out of her focus as she realized what she'd said in the heat of the moment. "I-I, um…"

She freezes completely as Naruto throws his arms around her and pulls her into a tight hug. "… I can't thank you enough for that, HInata-chan…"

She stares wide-eyed over his shoulder for a few moments, until she reaches critical blush and goes limp in his arms.

"H-Hinata-chan? Oh, sh*t!" He gently sets her down and starts fanning her. "C-Come one, please wake up!"

Yoko whines and covers his face with her paws at her master's foolishness, while the Kyuubi start laughing himself silly, but refrains from sending his thoughts to Naruto. "Oh, I like this girl! Hope you pull your head out of our ass and treat her right soon, boy!"

About twenty minutes later, she manages to wake up and pull herself together, stumbling back to her feet as she prepares to train. "S-So, you um.. w-want to go over our w-wind training?"

"Yep!" Naruto stretches a bit, having removed his hoodie, now in a burnt orange Tee and mesh shirt beneath it. "Honestly, mine's been a bit shaky. I'm sure you're way further along than I am. I only managed to pick up a couple wind jutsu Kaka-sensei had, and otherwise I've been trying to channel raw wind chakra to cut things more easily."

Hinata nods faintly as she channels wind chakra into her fingertips. "Producing enough chakra for a strong wind jutsu is tough, but I can manage to make it sharp enough to cut most anything I've tried so far." To demonstrate, she turns and swings her hand at a rock nearby, grazing it with her fingertips, but cutting an inch-deep gash into it with no resistance.

Naruto whistles as he steps up to inspect it. "Wow, that's awesome! With your precision, you could cripple just about any foe in close combat with one well-placed swipe. Cut tendons, critical veins, whatever."

She nods. "And an opponent is less likely to notice it. If I wield a kunai in one hand, they'll focus more on the kunai than my free hand and expect the actual cutting implement is the bigger threat."

Naruto stands and pinches his chin. "Well, that's sure to throw people off and give you a few easy victories. If you wanna improve your capacity though, all you can really do it just repeatedly force yourself to use a lot at once. I never really need to, and you know why that is. You might be best off asking Kakashi-sensei, since he's had to do a lot of that to support his huge jutsu library."

She nods a bit and cuts off the flow to her fingertips. "W-What about your wind jutsu, N-Naruto-kun?"

"Mine? Oh, well…" He smirks and faces across the field, chaining together a few handsigns. "ATSUGAI!" He belts out a massive burst of wind, blowing unburied training logs and smaller rocks around with ease, rolling to a stop on the other end of the training ground. "Not much damage in it, but it's great for defense and setups." He cracks his knuckles. "I also have Reppūshō as a more concentrated version from my hands, but there's nothing sharp about that one either. Then there's this one…" He inhales again and runs through three handsigns, ending in Tori. "Fuuton: Kūdan!" He spits multiple compressed air bullets, burrowing holes into a few logs, but not getting clean through them. They're still clearly enough to be lethal with a hit to the right place, though.

Hinata claps and bounces a bit. "N-Naruto-kun, that was amazing! I'm sure Asuma-sensei would be proud of you for being so good at wind!"

Naruto chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his head. "M-Maybe, but I'm really not that good. I had clones working on learning these for what equated to weeks when you put all their experience together. For each jutsu!"

"Naruto…" She sighs and steps closer, despite how nervous she is to be so close. "Y… Y-You might learn and t-think differently, but… y-you're still great at what you do, a-and you make it work, to become someone i-incredible. Seeing you work so hard…" She gulps nervously. ".. I-It makes me really believe you will be Hokage one day."

Naruto is frozen in place by those words. He's heard it from his team, his dad, even Anko by now, but almost always a tad dismissively. Supportive, but not fully believing, save for his dad- but the honestly in her voice, the passion in her eyes, almost brings him to tears. His world slows to a stop for a moment, barely feeling the wind at his back, but it feels like the start of something new. For the first time in his life, he feels a blush rendered by something besides embarrassment or his former foolhardy crush on Sakura rising in his cheeks. After a few moments, he gives her the strongest most genuine smile of his life. As wide as the fake smile he once flashed to trick the world into thinking he was ok, but the moisture in his barely-opened eyes, this time, is purely out of unbridled joy. He simply cannot hide it. Months ago, he wouldn't have known how to react at all. He might have been too shocked, suppressing his reaction entirely and nearly becoming comatose at the idea of someone having that much faith in him. Even now, he barely knows how to react, but can't bring himself to speak. He just throws his clenched fists into the air in victory and collapses backwards into the grass, giggling like a madman.

Hinata can't help but find that reaction adorable.

Chapter 21: Insolence and Absurdity

Chapter Text

"So I've got about hundred more explosive tags than I need, and I really need a bit of extra pocket change, so-"

Tenten raises a hand into Naruto's face. "Say no more! My dad and I will take them off your hands, and in return, we can either supply cash, or blacksmithing services."

Naruto tilts his head back a bit. "Blacksmithing? Hmmm… Ya know, that's not a bad idea. I might take you up on that, once I figure out what I'll want. For now I'll take the cash, but I'll keep making extra for ya for later."

"Done and done!" Tenten cheers, leaping about the joint training ground as Lee and Gai cannot help but weep with joy at the sight of her so youthful. "Oh, I already have so many ideas for everyone!" She turns and points at Shino. "And I'm gonna need your help brokering a deal for some materials!"

Shino pushes his glasses up and hums. "If you seek to acquire Aburame Silk, I believe I may be able to accommodate for that, but it will be costly, as I'm sure you're aware."

Chouji grumbles a bit. "Ya know, your clan would be a lot more stable if you didn't charge as much. You have a lot of services, but they're pretty niche, and ya don't get customers as often. You'd get a lot more if your prices were more reasonable."

"Sadly, I doubt that will change." Shino shakes his head. "Although the lack of demand would suggest greater success with lower prices, the deal of complexity and cost of producing Aburame Silk is too steep for us to do so without a heavy restructure of our methods which would most likely reduce the quality of the product. Besides, we still receive plenty of orders from the capital."

Sasuke cuts in. "When the hell did this inter-team training meet become an economics lesson?"

Sakura leans into him. "Since the majority of our graduating class turned out to be clan heirs."

Naruto hums. "Gonna have to look more into Uzu and find out what my family sold." He shrugs. "But for now… Where the f*ck are our sensei?"

"Sorry, brat!" All eyes turn to the scantily clad kunoichi leading a march onto the field. Mitarashi Anko is followed closely by none other than Momochi Zabuza and Haku, and Gekko Hayate. "Your usual sensei aren't here today. This time, you're getting more specialized lessons, and a few unique guests."

Zabuza hefts his blade over his shoulder and tilts his head as he looks over the crowd of genin. "Hmm… lot of big names here. Speaking of, I'm Momochi Zabuza. One of the last surviving members of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist. This runt next to me is Momochi Haku."

Haku smiles and bows with her usual grace. "Ino-san, Shino-kun, Team 7, it's wonderful to see you all again."

Ino raises an eyebrow and smirks over to Shino, whispering to him. "Shino-kun already, huh?"

He fixes his collar. "No comment."

Zabuza shifts his blade. "Oh, you'll comment later."

"Enoug-" Hayate coughs halfway through his interjection. "Ugh… Don't scare the kid too much. Morning, everyone. I'm Gekko Hayate, one of the village's top swordsmen, accomplished assassin, and former Anbu captain."

"And you all know me quite well." A final voice, source unseen, speaks from seemingly everywhere at once. The wind slowly gathers and swirls around the until leaves blow in and compress into the visage of none other than Sarutobi Hiruzen, the 3rd Hokage, In full combat gear. "Good morning, children. I do hope you're ready for a few lessons! But don't expect me to go easy on you… Last students I trained were the Sannin, after all."

"Jiji!?" Naruto rushes up. "How the hell are you here?! I haven't seen you outside your office in months!"

Neji's jaw drops. "Uzumaki, how dare you speak so callously with our Hokage!"

Hiruzen stares at the Hyuga boy for a moment before huffing in exasperation and returning his attention to Naruto. "Feels like I haven't been out of there in years. It'll be nice to teach again for a while." He sighs and hangs his head. "It's been far too long." Anko shares a quick glance with him as a familiar pain strikes them both, but they shrug it off and return to their duties. "Now, I know you're all going to want to train with me, but do keep your own skill sets and intentions in mind. I'll be teaching a combination of esoteric and lesser-known taijutsu, ninjutsu, and various forms of shurikenjutsu and bojutsu."

Zabuza swings his blade off his shoulder and levels it at the kids. "I'll be working on weight training, survival and stealth tactics, and unconventional weaponry."

Haku bows. "I intend to teach medicine and formulating original jutsu."

Hayate takes a moment to polish his blade. "I'll be teaching more conventional kenjutsu and-" He's cut off by another coughing fit. Once he's settled his lungs, he clears his throat and continues. "unconventional chakra elements."

Anko twirls a kunai. "I'll be teaching poisons, and for the ladies" She shakes her hips a bit. "Seduction~ You may not be viable for those missions until chuunin, but it doesn't hurt to learn how to throw some into a genjutsu or a transformation to make fools slip up."

Naruto snorts. "Why the hell ya think I developed the Orioke no Jutsu? I've made hardened jonin and a kage slip up with it." He points over his shoulder with his left thumb towards Hiruzen, who audibly facepalms.

Neji visibly twitches. "You've got to be joking."

"Nope." Anko shakes her head. "Sure it would work on the old fencesitter in Iwa, too."

"Naruto's eyes slowly widen and he shivers in pure excitement. "Oh now I have to use it on him."

"Naruto…" Sakura pokes him in the right temple to snap him out of daydreaming. "You know he'd kill you right after if you did."

"Oh, he can try."

"That's it." Neji turns and starts walking away. "I'm done exposing myself to this idiocy. Tell me when we're splitting up, and I'll go to whichever sensei has the least obnoxious class."

Silence falls as everyone watches his back, but a few turn to stare at Sasuke. "… What?" He looks to everyone individually, becoming less and less comfortable. "What?!"

"For once…" Sakura huffs. "For once, we've found someone more stuck-up than you used to be."

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Hayate lowers himself onto a mossy rock for a decently comfortable seat to begin his lesson. "So, let's start with what each of you is looking for…" He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and coughs into it as he waits for a student to speak up.

Once he's finished coughing, Sasuke cuts in with his usual direct approach. "Largely, I was looking to improve my practical kenjutsu skills. My fight with that nobody who stole the Raijin no Ken proved I have a long way to go, if I have to ignore kenjutsu against someone who was never properly trained just due to inexperience."

Hayate nods and holds out an open hand. Sasuke passes him his blade and gives Hayate a moment to inspect it, weigh it, and give a few test swings. "Hmmm… You take good care of it…" He coughs into his handkerchief again. ".. and it's fairly balanced to suit both your current age and what you'll likely grow into." He hands Sasuke's sword back to him. "Alright, I'll help you with kenjutsu. We'll start entirely practical, and I'll teach you some more advanced non-elemental techniques later if you can prove you're up for the task." He switches his attention to his remaining student. "And how about you? Considering my work with your mother, I think I know already, but…"

Kiba huffs. "Yeah, she's told me about you. Which is why I wanted to discuss and practice ambush tactics with you. Heard from her even before your speech earlier that before your lung problems, you proved to be one of Konoha's top assassins and a tactician most other Anbu captains can't match." He slowly grins. "If I'm gonna be a true pack leader, I'm gonna need to be just as good, don't ya think?"

Hayate slowly grins as Kiba's determination sinks in. "Kiba, I think you and I are gonna get along swimmingly."

Akamaru yaps as he pokes his head out from under Kiba's hood, wagging his tail enough to push the hood off and hop down without having to crawl out.

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Hiruzen sighs in relief as he lays back against a tree in central north of the grounds. He'd always liked this one, back when he was training the Sannin. Its roots grew into a gentle slope facing south, letting him lay back comfortably with a canopy large enough for the light to never bother him. It was Konoha's natural beauty at its gentlest. After a moment's rest, he spoke up with his helmet mostly covered his face still. "So, I do believe I already know what each if you is here for. Without uncovering his eyes, he lazily points directly at Shikamaru. "You're looking to tease my brain about my jutsu library and get a scoop on some I think may be useful to your expanded skillset with the addition of water and fire, correct?"

"That's the gist of it." Shikamaru lays back in the grass with his arms behind his head. "You're 'The Professor', so you've obviously got a few good utility jutsu on my level for me to consider. It's troublesome, but I'm gonna have to take advantage of my elements now that I know what they are and how strong of a combination it is."

Hiruzen smirks and digs into his pockets for where he sealed his pipe. "A wonderful approach, Yes, I do believe I know a few off the top of my head. I'm far better with fire than I am with water, but considering your clan's weakness at night, providing solutions to that take precedence over the manipulative methods of synergizing water jutsu with your clan's techniques." He withdraws his pipe and lights it with his thumb and some fire chakra before addressing his next student. "Now, Shino, you're a bit more perplexing, but your father tells me you've been experimenting on your kikaichu with long-term generational exposure to elemental chakras. It's well known I am a master of all five major elements, so I'm sure that ties into your reasoning."

Shino nods and withdraws a baseball-sized cluster of his kikaichu. These ones are less inclined to fly than the standard of their species, instead forming a dense, shifting orb of carapaces. "That is correct, Hokage-sama. I have already produced a subspecies that feeds predominantly off of one of my elements, but the other is proving a bit more difficult. Frankly, my approach is far too slow. I believe I need to take drastic measures to produce more potent results. I am certain that you can provide the necessities for this procedure."

He hums and scratches his chin. "A very unique proposal. Your father told me you were more creative than the standard of your clan, and I can see quite clearly that he was correct. I'll gladly assist in your experiments. Now, then…" He lazily points over to Lee. "You, Lee, are a bit of a shock to see. Your taijutsu is certainly impressive, and although mine can be, even I will admit that Gai outclasses me in that area. This means you'd have to be coming to me for an expansion to your skillset that's outside his expertise. Perhaps this habit with seals that he mentioned you'd been working on?"

Lee bows on his knees, prostrating himself to his Hokage. "Yes sir! I need a more professional opinion from a true sealing master on the designs of some of my augmentation seals I've created in my downtime between taijutsu training sessions! Gai-sensei says I need formal approval from a fuinjutsu master before I apply them!"

"Right he is, dear boy. I'll gladly take a look and recommend any alterations I see fit if necessary. That said, your dedication to this exoteric and oft forgotten craft is commendable, and I can't wait to see what you've developed with it." He raises his legs and kicks himself up to his feet. "Well, let's get started, then!"

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Haku leisurely strolls across the water in the grounds' eastern pond, hands withdrawn into her sleeves, with her two tag-alongs at her back. "So, Sakura-chan, I've heard your medical jutsu are coming along nicely."

She nods and tests her Mystic Palm jutsu. "I've gotten decent at it, but I feel like I need more practical talents for when I'm low on chakra or treating illness rather than injury." She closes her glowing hand and shuts the jutsu off as she peeks up to the former nukenin assistant. "And I know you've got quite a talent for that yourself. If anyone can teach me proper field medicine right now, it's you."

Haku peeks back over her shoulder with a gentle smile. "I'd love to. I never thought I'd have a chance to pass that knowledge on. I hope you can make as great a use of it as I have." She returns her gaze forwards. "Now, Neji-san, what have you come to me for?"

"Two major reasons, I suppose. For one, I overheard stories of your supposedly indestructible ice mirrors, and wanted to test them myself. My Byakugan should be able to see weak points in them easily and allow me to shatter them with well-placed strikes regardless, and the range of your attacks will be useless against my field of vision." He closes his eyes to hide his frustration with the next part. "And frankly, I wanted to see why and how an enemy with years if field experience would be so eager to tag along with a fool like Naruto."

Haku slows to a stop, then sinks down into the water and suddenly emerges from it behind Neji faster than he can track with his Byakugan deactivated. "If you seek such a test, then be my guest." Neji slowly peeks back over his shoulder, horrified by the killing intent she's radiating. "And Sakura-chan? You can practice medicine on the wounds he'll be receiving from this."

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Momochi Zabuza sits upon a rock in the middle of a pond, polishing his blade as he considers how to approach the three that followed him. Teaching is very far from his strong suit, something he feels he barely managed to do with Haku. She mostly taught herself, in the constant 'sink or swim' lifestyle of running from Anbu.

The sight of one of his students brings to mind someone he fought alongside during the rebellion he staged against his former friend and kage, so he turns his attention there first. "So, princess, what brings you to my lesson? Thought you'd be afraid of someone from the Bloody Mist."

Hinata shakes her head. "Naruto vouched for you, so I know you must be trustworthy. As for why…" She sighs. "He told me about your jutsu, and I believe testing my eyes against the mist could be a good way to improve them. Your proficiency for water jutsu is also considerable, as I'm a water user myself."

"Hmm." Zabuza hefts his blade over his shoulder. "Hell of a reason. Good head on those shoulders, kid. Alright, how about you big guy?" He points his blade at Chouji, who backs away at the sudden motion.

"U-Um.." Chouji cowers, leaning back and almost falling off his own rock and into the water. "W-Well, um… I-I'm working on my strength training and a few jutsu for d-defensive purposes, and I thought someone as tough as you would be great for training tips and durability tests!"

"Throwing the toughest thing you can find at your walls to see if they hold up?" He grins behind his mask and chuckles. "Now that, I can definitely get behind. Alright, you're on, kid." He turns his blade towards his last student. "And how about you, buns? What's your story?"

Tenten leans in and aside, carefully inspecting his blade and her mouth almost waters. "The legendary Kubikirihoucho. One of the greatest blades ever crafted…" She gently runs her fingers along the edge. "Such solid, refined iron… smooth, textured subtly, like it was forged from powdered materials."

He raises an eyebrow. "Oh, I see. You're a blacksmith, aren't you?"

She nods eagerly as her eyes remain homed in on the blade, checking the edge, the weight, the width, everything. "I've already got some commissions coming in from classmates and ideas for others. But I need inspiration and examples to work with." She looks to him with a wide grin. "And I know a guy like you knows some of the best weapons ever made, probably a ton of them I've never heard of!"

"Ya know what? I'm usually not a talkative guy…" He sets his blade on his back. "But if it's telling you about my coolest fights, I'm all for it. Has me kinda interested in seeing what you can make. Alright then, we'll have a good long chat, interspersed with water jutsu lessons and examples for the other girlie, and some water clones to beat up chubby."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME-"

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Naruto finds himself helplessly dodging kunai and senbon that Anko's barely attempting to hit him with as she focuses her attention on Ino. "So what brings you to auntie Anko today? Thought your dad said I was too bad of an influence."

She huffs. "You might be in some ways, but I've been thinking about my clan's jutsu, and I feel like it'll be easier to make them work if I can leave my opponent's mind addled to begin with. You specialize in intimidation and poisons in the Interrogation unit. Applying them to my skills should make me doubly effective at messing with my opponent's head."

Anko grins ear to ear, followed by hearing a yelp from Naruto and looking his way. "Sorry, I got a little excited there! You're healing it already, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm healing! Goddamnit, that was three inches from my-"

"So anyway…" Anko interrupts him upon returning to Ino. "That's a perfect plan, and I can't wait to corrupt you until your dad wants to get into my head."

"Um… why would you want him in there?"

"Cuz I know he'd come out crying like a little bitch."

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Soon enough, everyone returns so the central training ground to find Sakura fuming at the mere presence of her temporary classmate, Neji. He sits across the field from her with a few of his fingers appearing to be broken and attempting to ignore how cold he is, despite almost violent shivering. Haku just looks pleased with herself. "So, who would like to train with me next?" Nobody decides to question the story behind their states. Even Lee can't deny how insultingly arrogant his teammate is.

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This time, Hayate finds himself a bit annoyed with his new entourage. He decides to address the most troublesome student first, and ironically, it's not the Nara boy whose catchphrase he just stole. "Now, Neji…" He coughs and sputters for a moment. "… I saw the looks you were giving the other three sensei you could have followed. Even the Hokage himself has drawn your ire. Why's that?"

He glares daggers into he distance with his Byakugan, clearly homing in on someone he finds detestable, as he completely ignores his most sensible teammate in the process of treating his injured hands. "They've chosen to side with a childish fool who should never have been given a headband. I see no reason to take advice from any one of them."

Silence falls for several moments, and Neji fails to notice that Tenten's stopped working on his hands. He doesn't realize he's been slapped off balance until the resounding smack echoes back their way from the nearby cliff face.

Tenten walks away from her teammate and closer to Hayate, cutting in rather than waiting for him to ask. "I wanna be a master of all sorts of weaponry, so I need someone with experience in a lot of areas to point out weaknesses I need to iron out. Best you leave a clone with Shikamaru and handle me yourself. I can't promise I won't break the clone two minutes in right now."

"Um… right." Somehow, Hayate finds he's too shocked to even cough, and decides to skip over Neji and give him some time to think. "Well, I can certainly do that. Shikamaru?"

He shrugs as he lays back and stares at the sky, as per usual. "Wanna run strategic scenarios by you. You're an accomplished assassin and former Anbu captain. Few brains in the village that're better to pick than yours, and I'd like a perspective outside my father's to work against."

He nods and coughs into his handkerchief once more. "Mm… very well. My clone will stay here with you and Neji while I focus on Tenten. Let's get to work."

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Hiruzen can't help but smile somberly as he leads the trio at his back to the northern corner of the grounds. It feels like his youth before earning the Hokage title all over again. A hot-headed unconventional fool with a heart of gold. A cold, calculating young man with immeasurable natural talent and a constant drive for improvement. A determined young woman with a bright vision of the future and a temper that can drive her to achieve it against all odds. He could already see the next generation changing the world as much as the one he personally raised, and then some. He comes to a stop beneath another tree and snuffs out his pipe. "So, Naruto and I already have plans." He reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out an entire bo staff, causing Naruto to marvel at how fluidly it was removed from whatever seal was within, without any smoke whatsoever. He's so stunned by it that he barely catches the staff that's tossed at him. "So how about you two? Sasuke, if I'd have to guess, you're looking to pick my brain for some jutsu I can pass on to compliment your close combat proficiency. A simple task, especially considering my fire affinity. Although I'm not quite as talented with lightning, I can contribute a bit as well in that area."

Sasuke nods and draws his sword. "I was also hoping you could help me train my chakra capacity up enough to use more jutsu as set-ups for more efficient kills."

"Oooh, learning to be as tricky as your teammate? Wonderful. I love making someone think some grand jutsu is my last-ditch effort and blindsiding them with something small and lethal." He chuckles. "And how about you, Sakura?

She sighs and crosses her arms. "To be frank, a lot of earth jutsu on Kakashi-sensei's arsenal aren't the most useful for my medic aspirations, save for mud wall. And water jutsu he uses are all larger-scale stuff that's purely destructive. Worst of all, healing grievous injuries is going to require a lot of chakra, which I frankly don't have. So joining you in Sasuke's chakra capacity training is really in my best interest."

Hirizen smirks and pulls out a second staff. "Well, you've certainly made my day interesting. So many bases to cover, so little time. Alright then! Clones for everyone, and let's see how quickly you can adapt to a chakra exercise I call 'chakra hops'. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like, and yes, it's both practical and an absolute blast to use."

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Haku sits beneath a tree with a fresh cup of tea in hand, sighing in soft relief after taking a long sip. "Thank you, Shino-kun. Sealing up hot drinks for during training is quite the wonderful idea."

"Well, if fire can be sealed and unsealed without compromising it's heat, it makes sense that the same could be done for food and drink." He adjusts his glasses, although wearing them in the shade of the woods may seem a bit odd to those unfamiliar with his clan. "I was saving them for if I found you later this afternoon, but I thought it best to bring them out after you appeared to be so chilled by your own jutsu after your argument with Neji-san."

Ino snorts as she recalls that sight. "What happened with him, anyway? I mean, I wanted to train on my senbon aim with you, but I mostly wanna find out what you did to break him so badly. I've got to hear this one!"

Haku giggles. "Well, I'm not quite a gossip, but that's a tale I'm more than willing to tell. And Shino-kun, are you looking to test your kikaichu against my mirrors?"

Shino nods and bows. "Indeed. I can think of no better challenge for my new hive than to try and drain the power of such a magnificent and conflicting technique."

She sips down the last of her tea and nods. "Very well. Let us begin."

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"So let's see…" Zabuza looks over the two kids with him. One's got his face constantly strained as though smelling something he finds unsavory, and the other is jogging in place with knees high enough to make him wonder if the boy even has a pelvis. "You're an Inuzuka, aren't you? I think I've run into your mother on the field, actually. Fierce woman."

"Yeah, she's mentioned." Kiba huffs. "Mentioned you smell like blood even fresh after a bath, and I see she's right."

He grumbles. "I know, it's one of my few weaknesses in assassination. It's why I specialize in doing them outdoors, since my mist masks the smell by making the air less permeable."

Kiba shrugs. "Makes sense. As for me, I was hoping you could give me a few suggestions. I know Tenten's looking to make a ton of weapons, and I need a solid idea of one to suit me. You've seen my clan in action, and probably fought a lot of people with really weird choices."

"Kid, you have no idea the kind of weird sh*t I've seen. I can't even begin to tell you half of it until you're a lot older and preferably we're both a bit drunk. So yeah, I can help ya find a good weapon." He turns his gaze to the jogging pair of eyebrows to his right. "And how about you, skippy?"

"Actually, my plan is quite similar!" Lee speaks at about twice the necessary volume. "I was hoping to test my current choice of weapon as well as my ability to dodge weapons of unconventional size in close combat!"

"Holy sh*t, I got a hell of a fun set this time. Alright, you're both on!"

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Anko leans forward and nearly into Hinata's face. "Come on, tell me you're finally gonna make a move!"

"A-Anko-sensei?" She stammers and stumbles back, growing redder by the second.

"Seriously! You're getting a lot friendlier with him, and not freaking out just because he gets close! Chouji, you gotta back me up on this!"

Chouji chuckles nervously and shakes his head. "I'd much rather not get involved. Besides, we're supposed to be training! And you're one of the only people I can ask about what I'm looking for next."

"Oh?" She uprights herself and co*cks and eyebrow. "That's a bold claim. Wadda ya need?"

Chouji crosses his arms and grumbles. "Well, if I'm gonna be taking the brunt of damage for my teammates, I think I need to develop an immunity to a lot of poisons. You're the best person I could go to for that. Ino mentioned more than enough for me to be sure you'll know where to start to develop a strong immunity."

She nods and digs into her pockets. "Yeah, I got a few samples you can work with for that. Your BMI should make you even more naturally resistant. It'll take a lot more of most poisons to kill you than others. And you've got one other advantage." She passes him a vial. "Ya learn to channel your fire chakra through your blood stream or stomach, and it'll burn the poison off faster. I do the same thing, so I can teach ya to do it properly with your blood. I know your dad's already got ya on the stomach method, so it shouldn't be tough." Hinata sighs in relief over no longer being the center of attention, but yelps and backs up as Anko returns to her. "So, how are we gonna get Naruto all over you?"

"W-What?!"

"Seriously, you're a gorgeous girl, but the kid's dense, so I think ya gotta do something to really impress him. Maybe an original jutsu, or something to break you away from the clan more?"

"U-Um.. well, I was thinking of trying to learn Serpent Style from you, to apply it to my Jyuuken, b-but a new jutsu would help too… but I'm not really the most creative."

"Oh, I'm sure you're better at it than ya think!" Anko uprights herself and starts to stretch a bit. "Let's brainstorm some while I teach you the basics and try to keep Chouji from overdosing on that poison."

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As the genin reunite by the grounds' gates, Neji simply walks past them all and entirely out of sight. Two sensei have gathered to join them in the aftermath, particularly Asuma and Kakashi, both exchanging stories from over Asuma's years away at the capital. Neither of them steps up to stop Neji, as they've both come to realize their intervention would do nothing more than exasperate his flaws.

Kakashi shakes his head as he recalls just how he used to be as a child. Only someone of a similar mindset to his dear lost teammate could possibly make him change his ways. He hopes that revelation comes to him sooner than later, and at far less of a cost.

He barely manages to pull his mind away from the past as he approaches his team. "I hope you're not too tired after today's training."

Hiruzen chuckles as he steps aside to give Kakashi a clear view of Naruto limping up and using the staff he'd been given as a walking stick. "Don't tell me you've got us training with you after all this." Hiruzen shakes his head and pulls his pipe back out, lighting it up and stepping aside to address them, as Naruto grows curious. "So what's up, then?"

Hiruzen straightens his back and returns to his Hokage persona, casting his eyes across the crowd and meeting six specific pairs. "Teams Seven and Ten are to take two hours to recover before reporting to my office to accept a mission of the utmost importance to begin tomorrow morning. Details will be provided in my office, but much of them will await until your arrival to the final destination of this mission, among three separate locations. Keep your wits about you, children. This one will surely be an important trendsetting task for your careers."

Chapter 22: The Breeze Turns Westward

Chapter Text

The northern gate out of Konoha is a familiar sight by now, and oddly enough even on the way out with it wide open. Missions out of the village in this direction are common, with the vast gap between there and the border, and farmers in need of assistance. In comparison, the mission they're about to undertake is sure to be long and arduous for one reason or another, but the company is good.

"So Shika, I wanna pick your brain on this trap's potential loopholes real quick." He pulls a scroll out of his left top jacket pocket and rolls it about three feet in before finding the model he wants.

"Wait, did you use a prototype of this one in the academy to prank that one substitute with the red hair? That you turned blue?"

"Yep!" He grins ear to ear. "But this one's made with various poisons and noxious materials sure to f*ck up every sense that relies on your face."

Chouji shudders. "Naruto, how can you be so evil?"

"I'm a shinobi." He shrugs. "I'm not paid to be nice to my enemies."

"As true as that is, Naruto…" Kakashi peeks back from the front of the troop. "You should avoid causing psychological damage to your allies when testing your traps."

Naruto pouts. "What's the fun in that? Besides, I test them on people who short-changed and overpriced me, and even Hokage-jiji agrees with that."

Asuma snorts, blowing a bit of smoke from his nose. "Yeah, he would." He chuckles and takes another deep drag. "Mmm… Ya know, since we're stopping by Kusa, I might have to pick up a few good cigars before we head home."

"Damn, good idea." Zabuza blurts through his bandages. He's remaining shirtless for now, a bit unused to the warmer climate of the fire nation, let alone the jungle they're about to be skimming past. "Not much of a smoker, but they know how to make some good sh*t. In my anbu days, I used to collect some of the confiscated imports for myself, and those cigars were some of the best."

Sakura huffs. "Hey, Asuma-sensei at least has a good reason to get away with smoking. The Sarutobi clan has a strong resistance to smoke inhalation and jutsu built around taking advantage of it. You on the other hand are just killing your lungs."

"Oh, that's nothing." Haku interjects. "Compared to how much he kills his liver, anyway. I'm sure you've heard the stereotype that Kiri shinobi drink too much. I consider him some pretty convincing evidence."

"And my stories make up another filing cabinet full of evidence." Zabuza chuckles to himself. "Ah, and to think I'll be back with em soon. Probably Elite Jonin now, though. I'm too high-profile for anbu now."

Kakashi sighs and hangs his head. "The downside of such greatness."

Asuma raises an eyebrow at them both. Why are former anbu always so full of themselves?

"Ya know…" Sasuke cuts in. "I've been considering the anbu track myself…"

Kakashi nods. "You and Naruto would both be very well equipped for that route should you choose it. Personally, I think the background is a bit unappealing to Naruto and he'll just get annoyed with it, no matter how good he is."

"Yeah, probably." Naruto puts his arms behind his head. "Hey Ino, doesn't a lot of your clan get recruited for anbu?"

She shrugs. "I mean… there's a higher concentration of us than most clans, but we mostly get into interrogation, which overlaps with anbu a lot too. Usually for anbu squads sent to capture people in enemy territory and interrogate them on the spot. Can be kinda hard to smuggle some targets out of their home countries so the best option is just to do it where they're found. My clan's jutsu does wonders for it." She tilts her head back and hums thoughtfully. "Actually, my new one would be especially godsent if I can master it."

"A new jutsu for your clan?" Sakura turns to face Ino. "That's ambitious. How big of a game-changer will it be?"

Ino develops a mischievous smile. "Oh, it's going to be beautiful. I'm as proud of this one as Naruto is of his Tora Trap."

"Alright, that's enough kids." All eyes fall upon Kakashi. "We've gotten a good enough distance from the village and we have to high-tail it to the border of Sōsō no Kuni and Tsuchi no Kuni. We need to get there in four days, so we've really got to book it. We'll be running until nightfall, be sure to use chakra to replenish your physical stamina to keep up the pace. When we're done, you six are sure to be sore, but it'll be perfect time for some of you to apply your medical training. Choji will be on cooking duty tonight. Sasuke will hunt for our meal and Naruto will set traps to guard the camp with Shikamaru's strategic placement. Ino will gather whatever edible herbs, fruits, and vegetables she can find in the surrounding woods and jungle. Any objections?"

Yoko yips from her place in Naruto's hood.

"Yes Yoko, you have a position too. You and a few of my hounds will be on night watch, since you clearly prefer sleeping all day anyway. Yes, Urushi will be one of them."

Ino grumbles at Yoko's wagging tail. "Seriously? Even Yoko's got a boyfriend?"

Naruto slowly raises his Jinchuuriki Link seal up under his headband. "Looks like this'll be an interesting two weeks."

"Undoubtedly. Question is, will you be informing Shikamaru or Choji of your status as my jinchuuriki? You three have quite a history at the academy."

"Good question. I'll figure that out by the time we set up camp tonight." With discussion over, everyone breaks into a run, shinobi speed carrying them far across Ka no Kuni to the northwest.

The northwest of the nation is surprisingly barren, but for good reasons most would say. For one, it's leading into the open plains of Kusa no Kuni, so there's a lot of very fertile farmland, but not much to see, so lacking in tourism and commerce. Then there's also the vast migration away from this area during the last war, trying to avoid proximity with Tsuchi no Kuni. As a result, the trek for the day is largely uneventful, ending in setting camp about halfway to the border and dividing for their tasks. As they do, Kakashi leaves a clone at the camp while the real one leads Zabuza away. "So…" The assassins cracks his neck. "What's the deal?"

Kakashi slowly turns and unseals an old anbu-issued tanto. "I may respect the Hokage beyond words, but he was out of line saying I was never good with a blade. If my student is picking the art up, I'll do my damnedest to get back my old skills and keep ahead of him. So…" He unseals another and tosses it to him. 'Let's keep this fair and use the same kind of blade. Stop short of actual injury, since we're on a mission. Otherwise, go nuts."

Zabuza takes a moment to swings the tanto about and get a feel for it. "Wow… haven't held one of these in years. Brings back some pretty good memories." He slowly develops a fanged grin. "Alright, I'm game. Let's see if you've got half of what this takes!"

Off in the other direction, Naruto takes a moment to pull Shikamaru aside. "Hey, uh, Shika… got a question for you. It may sound kinda vague, but if ya know what I'm talking about, you should have an answer anyway."

"Really?" He looks up from his notebook map of their traps. "Not like you to be vague. You're about as direct as it gets when you're not pranking someone."

Naruto grumbles for a moment and crosses his arms. "… Hinata already figured out something big about me… so have you?"

He falls silent for a few moments, but slowly straightens his back and looks to the sky. "Yeah… yeah, I did. Wasn't hard to put together. Too much evidence, if ya just know where to look. And that seal you were wearing earlier tells me you've been in contact with it, too."

"Him, not it. And yeah, the Kyuubi's not exactly chatty, but he's helpful when he's not pissed off or just being lazy."

Shika nods and puts his notes away. "So why've you been talking to him?"

"Hmmm…" Naruto debates on how much to say as his brow furls. "… There's a lot the public and even the fox doesn't know about that night. A lot more complicated than anyone knows, and there's no black or white anywhere in that mess. All shades of gray that just look brighter or darker from whatever your perspective is."

Shika groans and scratches his head. "Damnit… this is S-rank stuff, isn't it?"

"Yep. Only talk about it to me, my team, your dad, and the Hokage. Hinata too, since she got in the loop same as you." Naruto starts to calm down, knowing just how trustworthy Shikamaru is with his secret if he's not spoken of it yet. "What about your team?"

"Eeeeh… Ino, I wouldn't trust with it yet. Chouji could keep it secret and be just fine, but as he is now he might overreact and it'll probably stress him out. Leave him in the dark for a few months at least, and we'll tell him some other time."

Naruto nods and slowly turns to head back to camp. "Yeah, I thought so. I know Chouji wouldn't see me any differently, especially if Sasuke and Sakura didn't, but he'd probably be a bit of an anxious mess for a while if I told him now."

"Exactly." Shikamaru walks in tandem, shoving his hands in his pockets. ".. Also.. how smart is the fox, if you're actually talking to him?"

"Oh, he's actually really looking forward to having a chat with you if I can make a version of this seal that doesn't put a bit of his chakra into the recipient's head. I'm fine with it, but it'd burn like hell for you."

Shikamaru cringes. "Yeah, not dealing with that." He waves the issue off as he strolls back to camp. "Another time, then."

Naruto watches with an almost tearful smile as Shika leaves. One more person who knows and isn't afraid… maybe he really can have the future he dreams of.

Camping that night and the following nights is largely uneventful. Choji's cooking is amazing, Ino's herbal additions are wonderful and leaves her truly stunned by Choji's cooking talent. Most nights, Urushi and Yoko are still chatting in the early morning hours when they pack up and get moving. During the day, they ramble about combat strategy and a few ways they can assist one another with training. Sakura spends a surprising amount of time going through katas and working on perfecting her Krav Maga. Naruto decides to assist with his bo staff, at which point Choji agrees to pitch in with helping Naruto work out using a staff to take advantage of a target's weight. Sasuke gives Shikamaru a few pointers with fire jutsu, resulting in Ino stepping over for directions with lightning in return for genjutsu tips. Sakura and Ino are no longer at each other's throats, much to Sasuke's surprise, but he does notice Ino is a bit despondent- despite her attempts to hide it- when Sakura gets close to him. Yoko spends most of the day napping, save for occasionally biting Naruto's ear when he gets too loud or says something particularly stupid.

On the afternoon of the fourth day, they arrive to the border of Jungle and Earth. Off to the south-east they see dense jungle sprawling across jagged mountains. To the northwest, they see towering dry crags with sparse space between. The border they stand on is a vast expanse of grassland, fertile and dark soil ripe for planting. Up ahead in these plains is a small gathering in the open field. A relatively safe move, as all parties would have to move a considerable distance to approach and surely be seen. Kakashi's party is spotted from a kilometer off and Kakashi sent up a red flare to ensure they knew a Konoha part was approaching peacefully. Seeing the flare, a small group of nobles hiding out a short distance into the jungle emerge and approach the Iwa contingency in the field for negotiations.

The noble party from Sōsō no Kuni wears deep violet robes, a rare color, but found more commonly in their nation thanks to rare flowers and creatures in the oceans to the north of them. Kakashi recognizes the head negotiator as Councilman Nakamoto, a surprisingly stoic man even in the presence of shinobi. An excellent choice for negotiations with Iwa. On the Iwa side, Kakashi spots the Jonin heading the mission and instantly curses to himself. Asuma follows suit a moment later as he realizes what kind of clash is about to go down.

Iwata Kitsuchi, son of the Third Tsuchikage, Iwata Onoki. His wide stature and equally broad nose stands out all too easily, and his stony stare is everlasting. He spots Asuma at a distance and his brow furls instantly. "Ah. So that's Hiruzen's game. And Kakashi too-" His eyes narrow on Naruto. "… Son of a…"

The Konoha troop slows to a stop and takes a moment to assess Kitsuchi's students. One of them is a tall young girl with short black hair and a cheerful disposition, sticking quite close to her sensei. There's nothing too remarkable about her at a glance, but Kakashi recognizes the Iwata family sigil patched onto her shoulder. Then there's a young man slightly taller than the already lanky Iwata heiress with peppered gray hair, a blade-like nose, and eyes matching the faded green of this field beneath today's cloudy skies. He wears his headband on full bandana and seems to have procured a samurai shoulder plate on his right side, while the left remains sleeveless. He shifts into a defensive stance as soon as the Konoha squad approaches, drawing half a katana from a full sheath on his left hip. The last Iwa genin is quite a bit shorter, petite even. She's a pale girl lacking any hair, a small, pointed, nose, and amber eyes. She keeps the hood of her black and blue hoodie up with her headband around her neck, a pair of goggles on her forehead, and metal bracers. When she raises her hands into an open-palmed defensive style, her gloves are clearly palmless.

Kitsuchi raises and arm and gestures his students and daughter to stand down, and a moment later, the Konoha troop steps up. Asuma waves and puts his cigarette out for the meeting. "Kitsuchi, I see you're doing well. How's your father?"

He grumbles. "About the same as when we last spoke. Still doesn't know when to quit. Shoulda given me the hat years ago so he can finally rest, but you know how stubborn he is."

Kakashi groans a bit. "Oh, don't we. Still, it's good to know he's in good health. At his age, that's a rarity."

"Same could be said of the Hokage. No signs of him retiring either?"

Naruto snorts. "That old man's still too strong to consider it." He arches his back. "I'm still sore from that last spar, and he didn't even swing at me once, I did it all to myself trying to hit him while he stood still."

The taller Iwa kunoichi snorts and bursts into laughter. "Seriously? No way in hell kage would waste time training a genin brat like you."

"Kurostuchi, be silent." Her father's tone shuts her up instantly. She's really not used to hearing him be so demanding with her, even as a sensei. Kitsuchi then looks back to Naruto, noticing the staff he's leaning on. "Learning Monkey style, I see."

Naruto peeks to Kakashi, but his sensei does nothing to silence him, so he shrugs and nods. "Yep. According to him, I'm kind of a natural."

Kitsuchi crosses his arms and hums. "That so? Well, good to see it's not a dying form." He peeks over to Asuma. "Shame, what happened to your brother. I know you suspected us for a while, but unlike the last Raikage, we don't quite care for kidnapping, especially high-profile targets."

Asuma sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Well… thanks. But enough of us. Wanna introduce your team?"

Kitsuchi nods and turns his head back to his students. "Well, this little miss here is of course my daughter and heiress to the Iwata clan, Kurotsuchi."

She gives them a half-hearted and clearly facetious bow. "Could have introduced myself, dad."

The young man with the blade crosses his arms. "Matsumoto Tetsuma."

The darkly-dressed girl speaks almost inaudibly. "Akiyama Hibiki."

Naruto pauses, finding something off about the other two, but he shrugs it off. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto." He catches the tensing of Kitsuchi's jaw at the mention of his surname. "Future Hokage and wrecker of all sh*t." Yoko yaps and grumbles from his hood before curling up to sleep more. "And she's Yoko."

Hibiki's eyes home in on him. "Uzumaki? I had believed your clan was exterminated during the last war."

Naruto flinches and turns away. "Yeah, most of em. My mom was already living in Konoha at the time."

Kitsuchi scratches his chin. "Kushina, eh? Good woman. Dangerous. May have been an enemy, but I respected her. I heard she'd died when the Kyuubi attacked, though. I'm sorry for your loss."

Naruto shrugs faintly, trying to ignore the stares he's getting from his uninformed old classmates. Shikamaru seems to have suspected it, but Choji and Ino on the other hand are struggling to stay professional and keep the shock off their faces. "Yeah, well... I never really knew her."

"Hmm.." Kitsuchi sighs. "A shame. Well, how about the rest of you? I've got some guesses for most of you, but…"

Sasuke huffs. "I'm sure you're right about me. Uchiha Sasuke, surviving heir of the Uchiha clan."

Kitsuchi raises one finger.

"Haruo Sakura." She bows a bit, showing proper respect to the son of a kage.

"Nara Shikamaru." Shika rubs the back of his neck as he watches Kitsuchi raise a second finger. As he suspected, counting his successful guesses. The man knows Konoha's heirs and big names all too well.

"Akamichi Choji." He reaches into his bag and pulls out a fresh bag of chips. "Any of you guys want some?" The Akamichi clan may be obsessive about their food, but that also means they consider offering it to be quite a meaningful token of appreciation and a peace offering.

Kurotsuchi stares for a moment, but shrugs and holds her hand out for the bag. "Sure, I don't see why not. You guys get better potatoes anyway, I'm sure the chips are a big improvement."

"Yeah," Choji shrugs. "But you guys have the better pork. I'd call that a win in your favor."

Ino rolls her eyes a bit. "I'm Yamanaka Ino." And Kitsuchi grins as he raises a fourth finger. "Wow, you really knew us ahead of time." She leans down and throws a sideways smirk at Sakura. "I think you're the only one here he had no interest in."

"Just cuz I'm not from a prominent clan doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, Ino."

Hibiki snaps her fingers and points at Sakura despite still having a completely blank face. "I like this one."

Haku rolls her eyes. "I'm Momochi Haku, Zabuza's adopted daughter."

Kitsuchi raises an eyebrow at the browless assassin. "Really? Didn't figure you were the type."

"Well, not that pleasantries are dealt with…" Councilman Nakamoto cuts in. "I would like to get this treaty and land trade organized in short order. I have a three separate offers for you from my lord, all of which we believe to be quite fair."

Kitsuchi nods. "Certainly. Just a moment, sir." He looks to Kakashi. "I'm sure you know these handsigns, you know this won't be an attack. Just better than standing out in the middle of a fie-"

He's cut short by Naruto pulling a set of folding lawn chairs from a seal and setting them out, setting them up with a few clones before kicking back in his own. The chairs are wood and cloth rather than metal, and he seems to have had his name and Uzumaki clan symbol embroidered on one like a director's chair. "Ok, now we're good. You guys are free to use em, just make sure I get em back before we go."

"Naruto." Kakashi crosses his arms. "What did I tell you about packing unessential resources?"

"You said 'don't let them weigh you down or get in the way', hence using seals. Damn, I love seals."

Kitsuchi barks with laughter as he drops into a seat and it creaks under his weight. "Now that's the Uzumaki spirit alive and well! Thanks for the save, kid. A lot better than my rock seats woulda been." He leans back and waves to the councilman. "Well, let's get on with this, then. What's your offers?"

Nakamoto takes his seat, though shifting uncomfortably as he's clearly not used to something so pedestrian from his seat of wealth and power, before reaching into his sleeves and removing a scroll to read from. "Let us see… First offer is of course a large sum of money, same as quoted before. Second would be a land trade. We grant you some border property ripe for farming, and you provide an equivalent amount of border property with considerable ore deposits for us to mine. Third would be not a land trade, but instead cheaper imports and exports to one another so we may send you the food you require, and we receive the ores we require. All three come with a peace treaty both with our nation and Takigakure."

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow at that set. This catches Kitsuchi's attention. "What's on your mind, kid?"

Shika stares for a moment, but shrugs and leans forward to answer. "It's all a fair deal, but it's quite clear that the treaty is the clincher for their side. Huge benefit, especially when dealing with one of the five strongest nations and villages. Taki may be strong, considerably so, and incredibly well hidden, but your forces raw scale could very well search the whole jungle in a war and find them regardless. But, you don't dare do such a thing when they're allies with us. A peace treaty simplifies everything and lets you both preserve resources while your home nations reap the rewards. No downsides for anyone, just a bit more of an upside for them- but you people are the ones needing food, so flexibility in this negotiation is lacking on your end. Personally, I see no reason to avoid taking any of these offers, it simply depends on which you fine most advantageous. Do you need the speed of the export deal, or the long-term but potent sustenance of owning the land? Do you have more mines than you know what to do with and give away, or is the purchase more efficient for you?"

Naruto nods and crosses his arms. "All grand points, but you also gotta consider the risk of a land trade being too slow to get off the ground, especially since these were once a huge war zone and there's gotta be kunai, shuriken, and unmarked graves all over the place. Now, if you can organize to clean it up together and turn it into something effective for both parties, that'd leave you both with a lot more useful land." Naruto looks around a bit. "Who knows how long it'd take to clean these fields up and prep them for farming?"

Tetsuma peeks about for a moment and presses his bare hand to the ground. "Hmmm… Yeah, he's right. There's a lot of metal scattered about here, all old tools."

Kitsuchi nods and huffs. "Good catch, kid. But why help our side of the argument?"

Naruto shrugs. "Simple. No need to be enemies right now, or give each other reasons to be." He slumps back in his chair and sways like a drunk to spend just a bit of pent-up energy. "As much I'd love to prank this whole party to oblivion and back, letting a mistake like that go unspoken is needlessly cruel and stupid, even for me."

Zabuza's jaw drops behind his bandages. "Holy sh*t, the brat's actually got a grasp on politics."

Naruto snorts. "You have no idea how many headaches I've given myself by putting clones in the library for this."

Kitsuchi chuckles, but trails off as his eyes dart off to both sides. Kakashi sighs and reaches for his headband. Kitsuchi instantly gives him a curt nod, taking that as confirmation that Konoha has nothing to do with the sudden vibrations they're feeling.

Kurotsuchi runs through a set of handsigns ending on Hebi, before driving her hand into the ground and twisting it at the moment a horde of twelve anbu leap from the earth. "Doton: Chikyū o Tsukamu!" (Earth Style: Gripping Earth!) The ground seals back up around the legs of several of them, one caught only by the ankle and sent faceplanting, but seven of them breach the ground too quickly and bee-line towards Kitsuchi. Kitsuchi sinks into the ground faster than they had emerged as one swings a tanto towards his throat, only to be replaced by a Naruto clone emerging with the same jutsu and opening his jacket to reveal twelve exploding tags as he belts out a head-flailing war cry. By then everyone else had spread out while Asuma, Zabuza, Haku, and Shikamaru surrounded Nakamoto to guard him. This left everyone but the hapless assassins within range of the blast. Two of the dozen were eliminated instantly. The one whose legs got caught at their knees is promptly flattened by Choji's Nikudan Sensha, followed by a swift knee to guts by the real Naruto. The one whose ankle was caught gets themselves free quickly enough to attempt to counter a punch by Kurotsuchi, but she produces a stone gauntlet and punches the tanto in half before backhanding the man unconscious. Another attempts to cut her down from behind, but a Naruto clone pops up and grabs him by the ankles, allowing Kurotsuchi to turn around and fire her stone gauntlet right into their chest and surely snap a good deal of ribs. Two attempt to cleave into Tetsuma, but he catches their blades and they bend on contact with his hands, which are suddenly black as iron. He grips the blades and rips them from their handles, shapeshifting them to be thinner and longer before stabbing the men with their own weapons.

Shikamaru notices none of them are paying attention to the troop guarding Nakamoto, so he takes advantage of that to snag one. A quick extension of his shadow captures one and keeps them out of the fight and ripe for interrogation afterwards. Ino meanwhile opens a canteen on her hip and uses a minor water jutsu to splash it about much farther than it would normally spread, before a quick three handsigns lets her pulse a small amount of lightning through it all to stun the three anbu she managed to dampen. This locks them up just enough to let Choji roll over two more. Hibiki approaches the last with a low rush and rises to put her hand to his chest. A quick flash of chakra and an explosion similar to a low-grade tag goes off in her hand, blasting the Anbu back to be clotheslined by the blunt side of Kubikirihoucho. Zabuza knows better than to get blood on a client by using the other side. The last one attempts to hit Kitsuchi where he resurfaces, but the genjutsu fades the moment he strikes, and leaves him wide open for Sasuke to draw his wakizashi and cleave them across the spine. He tries to move for just a moment, but another quick thrust to the back of their head finishes the job.

Kakashi hums as he watches the last one fall and looks to Kitsuchi as he rises from the ground, horizontal to vertical and stiff as a board the whole way up. "I'd say the kids handled that well."

Kitsuchi nods and ruffles his daughter's hair. "But, that also means these supposed anbu were also bottom-of-the-barrel sacrificial pawns. I know that's not how Konoha runs things with their anbu. Not the official ones, anyway."

Kakashi nods as he steps up to the one Shikamaru captures, who Ino has now managed to completely disarm and tie up. "Kiri wouldn't be doing this, they just got a new leader and they're still not the most stable, and looking to be allies with us. These anbu were going out of their way to target you and your team, but if it were Kumo, they'd likely be indiscriminate and target us both, but A's been quiet since he took over and been much more passive than his father."

Asuma hums. "So, we thinking this is Root, then?"

Shikamaru's eyes narrow. "Root? Not a village I've ever heard of, and I've studied the whole map."

Zabuza snorts. "Cuz it's not a village, kid. In your village, it's hidden in plain sight. In other villages, they're the boogeyman Konoha's extremists raised."

Asuma groans and tilts his head back. "Damnit, dad's gonna be on the war path for this one."

Kitsuchi cringes. "Yeah, I wouldn't wanna be in Hiruzen's way when the monkey's actually pissed off. I've heard more than enough stories of wanton drunken destruction from my old man to know yours is gonna raise hell." He sighs. "Well, we still need to deal with this treaty, and you have a traitor to interrogate. So how we splittin this?"

Kakashi hums as he looks among his crew, but Asuma cuts in first. "My squad will handle the Root agent, the rest of you can deal with the negotiations. Ino, you ready?"

Ino almost squeals. "Finally, I get to test these jutsu on the field!" She pouts. "I've had almost no work on them for weeks cuz daddy says I'm not ready to use them on anyone his department's officially interrogating!"

Naruto shudders at the thought. "I know she knows I've got a thousand secrets, and I have never been happier that you can boot people out of my head at will."

"I could also let her in and just control what she has access to so she only sees your most embarrassing secrets instead of the big ones."

"Oh f*ck no!"

"Hey kid."

"Huh?" Naruto snaps out of it and turns to face Kurotsuchi.

She's looking the blonde over with a critical eye, taking in details others seem to just forget or ignore. The blue eyes, bright blonde hair, sealing talents, apparent age, it all lines up too well. She makes sure to speak quietly. "My dad recognized you instantly. He hasn't said it, but I see what he's getting at. The others with you don't know, do they?"

Naruto's eyes widen for a moment, and he checks his peripherals. A quit bit of reassurance from the Kyuubi convinces him it's safe to speak. "Kakashi and Asuma do, the rest haven't been told. But I think Shikamaru already figured it out."

She nods and huffs, hanging her tilted head. "Damnit, this is gonna get complicated. The Hokage wouldn't have sent you on this unless he wanted us to know."

"Pretty much." Naruto shrugs. "He's playing a fast and dangerous game. Never seen him so bold before. But I know he wouldn't unless he knew it was most likely going to turn out well for everyone."

"Ever the optimist, huh? Well, my dad and I will be sure to pass the message." She looks to the rest of the team gathered, with Sasuke peeking over and watching from the corner of his eye. Shikamaru seems impassive, but he's clearly paying attention too while the rest discuss the trade deal and interrogation. "Allying with Kiri, restoring the Seven Swordsmen, the Hokage's son is back and training a new InoShikaCho, and now their best jonin is training the Uchiha heir and son of the 4th. He's playing with his cards face-up knowing nobody can possibly have a strong enough hand to beat him. Either stand down and let the monkey have the pot so he can share the wealth as he sees fit, or keep playing and lose everything."

"That's the jist of it, yeah. Bold move, might piss some big names off, but his goal is peace. Lines up pretty well with the exams coming up, and if he's successful, we might be looking at a union between all four nations, or at least two of them in a stalemate against our three and knowing not to start sh*t."

"We've been at a stalemate for years. Personally, it'd be nice to see a change of pace, and war isn't exactly my style either. I love some action, but I want people to deserve it, not just be protecting their countries for people with big egos." She grins over at him. "So from one future Kage to another, let's hope this plan works and you and I will be having a lot of meetings someday. The way you're acting, I doubt they'd be boring ones, so I look forward to that."

Naruto stares in shock for just a few moments before grinning ear-to-ear and reaching out for a fistbump, which she gladly returns as they watch her father propose raising a politically neutral meeting place in this field for future discussions between all nearby nations.

Chapter 23: You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello

Chapter Text

Ino huffs and pulls her gloves off as she steps out of the stone hut erected by Naruto that she was interrogating the surviving Root member in. "No dice. I couldn't get a word out of the guy before this…" She shudders. "horrific seal on his tongue made it swell and choke him to death. We also discovered a pretty large collective of exploding tags on him, same as some of his comrades." She waves the stack of tags around. "Not sure why they didn't go off."

"Hold on." Naruto takes them and looks them over, then snorts. "Of course. I made these ones myself, been selling excess stock to Higurashi Outfitters and the Anbu's demolition corps through Hokage-jiji. But um…" He pauses and peeks up to his team before looking back to the stack. "I'm used to a lot of hate, so I figured if people were to ever use them against me, I'd put a failsafe in them that makes them duds in my presence without me triggering them personally." He looks back up. "They just didn't know enough about sealing to notice the safety mechanism array folded between the trigger and release seals."

Asuma's cigarette falls from between his lips as his jaw slacks. "Dear god, you're another Mina-" He's cut short when Kakashi elbows him in the ribs.

Sasuke grumbles. "Ok, so you saved us with dumb luck. That I get. Happens all the time with you."

"Oi!"

Sakura cuts in. "Training session 17, when your propellant seals almost combined with his fireball and roasted him alive, only to discover the trigger you made for them could be switched off with the chakra pulse you made out of sheer panic."

"That was one time."

Kakashi holds up two fingers. "Session 6, when you started rigging your clones with your explosive tags and accidentally pulsed too much and happened to set all of them off at once instead of individually, but managed to use Daitoppa at the right time to block the incoming blast."

Silence falls for a moment until Zabuza starts laughing. "Holy sh*t, that thing with the bridge trap triggering twice was something you just accidentally discovered, wasn't it?"

"I swear next time we're tasked with capturing Tora, I'm letting her loose in one of your bedrooms at three AM."

"Ok, that's quite enough." Kakashi cuts back in and turns to face Kitsuchi and Councilman Nakamoto. "Well, I believe we've cleared up everything. Your trade deal's looking fair, right?"

Nakamoto nods and smiles brightly. "Oh, indeed! My lord will be quite pleased. As I'm sure Onoki will be!"

KItsuchi huffs and crosses his arms, but returns and smile and nods. "Long negotiations for my taste, but worth the effort. That part, he'll be ecstatic about."

Kurotuschi steps up with a sway. "Getting attacked, not so much." She looks to Naruto and offers another fist bump. "Thanks for the save."

He gladly returns it. "Don't mention it."

"And you…" Kurotsuchi turns to stare at Haku. "… We've definitely gotta spar sometime. Those ice jutsu were wicked. If we ever run into each other on the field, just know I'm gunning for ya. No hard feelings."

Haku smiles gently and bows. "I'd be honored to spar with you. It sounds like it might be rather fun, actually."

Zabuza chuckles. "That's my girl. Alright, we've been here long enough." He arches his back with a few loud snaps and pops. "Let's hit the road, get up to Aisu Bay by sundown tomorrow."

Kitsuchi reaches out to shake with them all, and they gladly accept one by one. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you all around. Exams are down in Konoha next, right?"

Asuma nods as he lights himself a fresh cancer stick. "Yep, lookin' forward to it. Sure to be one hell of a show this year."

Hibiki hums. "Well, don't expect easy competition."

"Speak for yourself." Tetsuma huffs. "I intend to take the whole exam by storm and walk out unscathed."

Naruto grins. "Not on your life." He turns and walks away with a wave. "I look forward to kicking your ass!"

Sakura groans and covers her face. "I'm sorry for him. I really am." She huffs and shakes off her frustration. "We really should get going, though. I do hope to see you at the exams!" She jogs to catch up with Naruto, while Sasuke shrugs and offers only a two-fingered salute as he saunters after them.

Chouji offers them all another bag of chips for the road, which is gladly accepted, and Ino is of course already catching up with Sakura, but Shikamaru stays behind for a moment. "So, Kitsuchi. I'm sure you'll have a lot to say to your father when you get back. I don't envy you for that. But just know, as the son of the chief advisor, I'm certain the Hokage has no ill will towards you, your kin, and your village. Frankly, he's been reminiscing about when he and your father weren't enemies."

"Hmm.." Kitsuchi scratches his head a bit. "That so? Well, I suppose I get that. I'll see what he thinks about meeting up sometime soon." He snorts. "Gods know neither of em has much time left to do it."

"Yeah, I guess not." He turns to catch up, finding most of the squad glaring at him for moving so slow. "But hey, time is the ultimate teacher, they've both lived enough to learn not to hold grudges."

As the entire Konoha contingency walks off, Kitsuchi hums and contemplates all this news, but then stomps and causes Yoko to pop out of the ground and stare at him from just a few feet away. "Go ahead and catch up to em. I ain't plannin nuthin, so no need to eavesdrop." He pulls a piece of jerky from his vest. "You can have this, though."

Yoko yips and leaps to catch the treat mid-air before scampering off to huddle away in Naruto's hood again.

.

.

A short distance from camp in the shade of a towering redwood, Naruto almost dances around Chouji's attacks with the aid of his staff. He tries to catch Naruto off guard with a partial expansion, but Naruto jabs his staff into the ground near the edge of his reach and uses it to pull himself out of range before standing on Chouji's forearm and throwing his balance off. As Chouji falls, Naruto swings his staff into his head and stops and inch away. "You really gotta work on some faster moves, man."

Chouji grumbles and shrinks his arm down as Naruto hops off, massaging his wrist. "I'm working on it. I have two ranged options I'm having some trouble with, but once I get them down I should be a lot better off."

"And yet without variety, you kicked a lot of ass earlier." He grins and leans on his staff. "Honestly, I'm surprised you were so calm when we got ambushed."

Chouji sighs and hangs his head. "Not really. I looked fine, but man, I was panicking!" He drops onto his ass in the dirt. "I only kept it together because I had my teammates- my friends- to worry about. If I'd been alone, I probably would have completely locked up."

"… Well… that's not exactly a bad thing."

Chouji peeks up and stares, jaw slack and eyes misty.

"Ya see…" Naruto spins his staff and seals it in his hoodie pocket. "I don't think I'd be half as driven if I didn't have my dad or my teammates, or you, Shika, and Kiba when we were younger. Needing others to draw your strengths out isn't a weakness. It just proves you care, and makes you stronger when it matters most." He smiles softly, more so than Chouji's ever seen, but that gentleness to it makes it so much more genuine. "Yeah, you gotta work on caring more about yourself too, but caring more about others is never a weakness."

Chouji's eyes grew wider through that entire pep talk, but be finally closes them and wipes his tears off on his bandages. "A-Alright! Yeah, you're right!" He hops back to his feet. "Now I'm fired up! Come on, throw everything you've got at me! Make all the clones you can, I'll trash em all!"

Naruto's grin grows wider. "Only if you promise to show me some of those new jutsu you're workin on!"

.

.

The sensei sit in a circle around the fire, as their students remain scattered about training amongst themselves and each other. Of course, Kakashi and Asuma have clones keeping an eye out. Zabuza's got a few water clones too, but they're not quite as useful. This does allow them the freedom to discuss what all they learned today, though.

"Dad's gonna be pretty excited when we get back to him at this rate." Asuma chuckles to himself.

"I'm not sure I see why." Zabuza cuts in whilst polishing his blade. "Onoki's gonna be skeptical and bullheaded as always, and hearing about Naruto is gonna out a wild hair up his ass. And then there's that Matsumoto kid…"

Kakashi waves it off. "Yes, yes, we all know how dangerous that clan is, and I'm as surprised as you that there's any left. Your old friend's genocide caused quite a lot of trouble. They fought harder than anyone, and that got them cornered."

Asuma hums. "It makes sense that some of the survivors would run to Iwa. Although we have a better track record with accepting refugees, Onoki isn't going to turn down a prominent clan, and he's likely given them considerable political power in return for swearing themselves to his ranks. With us, they'd get the same treatment as any other citizen. In Iwa, Onoki's practically printing money for them."

"Hell of a hard offer to turn down, and literally on the other side of the world from Kiri." Zabuza sets his rag down and peeks back up to Asuma. "That said, I really don't get how he'll be happy with it."

Asuma grins as he blows out a few rings of smoke. "You're focusing too much on old grudges. Didn't you see how well those kids got along with ours? Onoki's own granddaughter sees Naruto as a friendly rival. There was no animosity in that whole encounter, and even Kitsuchi was putting bad blood aside and starting to enjoy himself. If they report back and prove two of our top jonin have no ill will and my dad wants to catch up peacefully, Onoki's gonna have no choice but to accept that the olive branch is extended, and he knows not accepting it won't just go poorly in combat, but in his own family now."

Zabuza stares for a moment, but slowly starts to chuckle. "You mean the blonde brat seriously just turned the Tsuchikage's own granddaughter into a walking trap in his own territory?"

"Yep." Kakashi hangs his head. "And I don't think he even realizes he did it."

.

.

Late the following evening, the brilliant north shores of Aisu Bay are ahead. The tall, jagged cliffs down into the deep sea at the northwestern borders of Sōsō no Kuni are largely vacant, this close to the border of Tsuchi no Kuni especially. If they were to head further east they could surely find a wonderful shoreside town with pearlescent beaches, but for now they lay just out of reach.

At first, the shore appears barren, but a small collection of Kiri anbu climb up into view from the cliffs and approach in silence. Zabuza steps ahead of the party and stops just a few feet away, staring the squad's captain down. "… Hm. To think you survived that mess. You've done well, Kani."

The captain with the crab mask bows to him. "It's a pleasure to see you returning to us, Zabuza-sama." He rises and peeks about the rest of the party. "Kakashi, you appear to be well. I believe our last encounter was…"

"On my way back to the mainland with Shikaku on that expedition to Sora no Kuni, right?" He tilts his head back and props his chin up. "Wow, I must have been quite a bit shorter then. I almost feel old now, looking back on it."

"Did you ever catch that nutcase you were tracking?"

"Oh, yes, I already had. I just couldn't mention it to you, seeing as there was a bounty on his head in your territory too. Wouldn't do well to have you take his head from me after I put so much work into getting it, right?"

Sasuke crosses his arms. "Ok, now this is one I have to hear."

"Maybe once we've settled in tonight." Kakashi returns his gaze to Kani. "So, we'll all need to settle in for the night soon enough. How about a sprint east to stay at that lovely hotel on the shore, and we split in the morning after a good meal?"

Chouji throws his fists up and cheers. "YES! Come on, Asuma sensei, please say yes!"

Ino sighs deeply. "I'd certainly appreciate a bed for the night before we have to turn around."

Naruto pulls a notebook and pen from his hoodie pockets. "Note to self: Seal an entire bed for the next mission out of the village."

The anbu pause and look amongst one another. "… How come we never thought of that?"

Naruto shrugs. "Sealing bigger objects takes stronger and more complex seals. Far from the standard you buy in a shop. Most cases, it'll have to be a custom job."

Ino places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "I'll pay you 20,000 yen for one of those scrolls."

"Deal."

"Hey!" Sakura pouts. "You've got clan money and a dad who spoils you senseless, I can't handle a price like that!"

"Nah, teammates get it half off."

Sakura beams. "Naruto, you're the best teammate a girl could have."

Sasuke huffs. "What the hell am I then?"

Naruto snaps his fingers and points at him. "Brooding eye candy." Yoko yaps in agreement from her perch in his hood.

Sasuke falls silent for a moment until he peeks up to Kakashi. "Can I-"

"No, you're still not allowed to kill him."

.

.

The comforting heat of the hotel's springs give the two squads a much-needed respite, which Sakura is all too eager to take advantage of. "Come on, let's wash up and soak a bit before the buffet's ready!"

Haku stumbles for a moment and bites her lip. "I'll have to meet you at dinner. I'll be retiring to my room for now."

Sakura and Ino slow to a stop, but Ino's the first to speak. "Um… alright, if you're sure. Just don't be afraid to stop in if you change your mind, ok?"

Haku bows. "Of course. Thank you, Yamanaka-san." She turns and leaves with her arms folded across her.

Sakura slowly looks to Ino, about to speak, but she shakes it off and heads in to wash up. Ino watches Haku leave for a few moments, but sighs and catches up to Sakura.

In the men's half, meanwhile, Naruto is lounging back with his eyes shut and grinning ear to ear. "Damn, this is good. I never get to enjoy the springs back home like this."

Chouji turns his way and props himself up against the rocks with an elbow. "Really? That's a shame. Ya know, my family actually owns a private section of it, you're welcome to use that any time ya like. I'll just run it by my dad and you'll be put on the whitelist in a day or two."

Naruto's smile falters as he turns to one of his few early friends. "Really? Dude, you really don't need to do that for me. I-I know your dad's awesome, but I really don't want his reputation to tank just for me."

"I dunno." Kakashi cuts in, still wearing his mask even in the damned baths. "I'd say it's a good deal. The Akamichi baths are lovely. A little hotter than the rest, but still comfortable."

"… Ok, fine. I'll take you up on that, I guess." He slowly turns back to Chouji with a gentle smile. "Thanks, man."

.

.

The following meal and long night's sleep was almost a vacation to them after trekking through woods and jungles for five days. Sadly, that vacation was set to be followed by more of the same the next morning. Just one thing stood between them and this trip, and it's something many of them find less appealing than the trip.

Naruto stands before Haku, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as he debates his words. He's always been terrible at goodbyes, largely because he's never really had anyone close enough for them to matter until recently. It's harrowing in a way he couldn't have prepared for. All those years of isolation, only to find when he finally has real friends that it seriously sucks losing them, even if it's not forever.

Thankfully, she can tell how uncomfortable he is, and she reaches her hand out first. "Thank you for everything, Naruto." She tilts her head as her smile widens. "If you hadn't stepped into our lives and made Zabuza change his mind, we'd still be taking odd jobs from horrible people just to get by." After a few moments, Naruto smiles in return, a few tears in his eyes, as he takes her hand and shakes. "Now… I'm going to have a home. A real home, and a real future, doing what I truly want to with my life. And I have you to thank for all of that."

Zabuza chuckles and turns away. "Yeah, yeah. Ya did good, kid. You, and your whole team." He peeks back. "Take care of your brats, Kakashi. They're a handful, but if you can keep em alive long enough, I'm sure they'll be one hell of a threat one day."

Kakashi chuckles and shakes his head. "No, they already are. I'm just gonna work on making them even deadlier."

Sasuke smirks and raises his sparking right hand, while Sakura's eyes glint with the promise of mischievous pain for anyone who crosses her and her squad. Sakura speak ups before Naruto can clear his mind enough to. "When we meet again, you better not have fallen behind, Haku."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it!" She looks back to Naruto just as he finally pulls his mind together.

"Haku… we may not have known you long, but it's been one hell of a time. I took one hell of a risk the day I found you in the woods, but seeing how it's turned out, I couldn't be happier. So don't ever think you've gotta repay me or thank me for it. I just did what I knew was right, and got one hell of a great friend out of it."

Haku tears up a bit herself as her smile cracks open to bare her teeth for once. "Then I'll repay you by staying that great of a friend, no matter how long we're apart. I'll mail you once we're settled in, and I'm sure I'll see you again once we set up the ambassador program!" She slowly releases his hand and steps back-

But she's quickly enveloped in an overpowering hug. "I better see you again soon, damnit. I've fought too long to finally have some real friends, so I'm sure as hell not losing you if I've got anything to say about it."

She stares in shock for a few moments, but slowly wraps her arms around him to return that hug. "You won't." She jumps a bit as Yoko pops up from her perch in Naruto's hood to lick her face. "Y-Yes, you too Yoko!" She pets her for a moment as she pulls back. "Well, I suppose we should be headed…" pauses. "… home." She peeks back as Zabuza places a hand on her shoulder.

"It's a long way, but it's nothing compared to our time on the road so far. Just a little longer, and we'll finally be home." He raises his head to team seven. "We'll see you brats around, I'm sure. Sasuke, keep it up with your blade, and you'll put the best samurai to shame." Sasuke cracks another smirk and nods somberly at the loss of a great sensei. "Pinkie, keep these two madmen alive long enough to see them become monsters, and I'm sure you'll be just as scary in your own way." Sakura crosses her arms and grins smugly. "And Naruto…" He looks back to the blonde brat. "… You're still a bit naïve… but I guess the world needs some of that. Never stop hoping, kid. You seem just crazy enough to make that optimism work." Finally, he looks back up to their sensei. "And Kakashi… Try not to fall behind your brats." He grins viciously behind his mask. "Cuz' next time we meet, I'm gonna want a real match with you."

Kakashi raises his headband for a moment to flash his sharingan at him. "Gladly. Next time you're in town, hit me up and we'll schedule a good long fight."

Zabza snorts and shakes his head as he turns back. "Alright, let's get moving. It's a long way home. Later, Konoha brats." He and the Kiri squad disappear with individual shunshin no jutsu, but Haku is the last to go, sparing them one last glance and sad smile before she's long gone.

Naruto watches with a slightly forced smile for a few more moments, but it breaks as he roughly wipes the tears off his face. "A-Alright… let's get out of here and get to Taki already."

.

.

The jungle trek is long and arduous, taking three days through dense brush to reach the general vicinity of the carefully hidden Takigakure. It's a relatively short time before the six genin and two jonin are surrounded by a contingency of nine masked Taki shinobi. Village policy is that they all be blindfolded and given sensory dampening seals to ensure they cannot unveil the location of the village to other outsiders. If Naruto hadn't been warned well ahead of time, there surely would have been complaints, but not one ill-mannered word is spoken, and their trip into the heart of their most mysterious ally's home begins.

Little does anyone besides the Kyuubi know that they're being watched by a local who's sure to make this trip all too interesting. Her orange eyes lock onto blonde hair and whiskers in an instant, as her innermost senses alert her to her tenant's kin. Her caramel skin splits with a bright smile as she hears Chōmei buzzing away in her head.

Chapter 24: Crawling

Chapter Text

The first thing Naruto saw upon opening his eyes was green. Much more green than even he was used to in Konoha’s forests. The humid atmosphere of the jungle nation produces masses of moss on walls and streets, and the canopy of a single titanic tree spreads across the top of the village, resulting in dim but comfortable natural lighting. The tree’s root systems have grown throughout a massive plateau at the middle of the village, then used as supports for a plethora of homes built on the mossy cliffsides. Staircases wind up the cliff, parted by waterfalls descending from the lake upon the plateau, at the center of which the enormous tree emerges. “Whoa…” He slowly picks his jaw up and grins. “… I’m gonna climb that.”

Ino facepalms. “Of course that would be your first thought.”

“Hey, it’s a viable move!” He crosses his arms and turns to glare at her. “We’re here looking for how someone snuck in and stole something, the tree is an easy route to escape overhead.” He looks to the Taki shinobi escorting them. “Have the branches been searched?”

They look to one another, then back to him and nod. “Yes, but a second sweep is planned.”

Sasuke nods. “I’m in. With my Sharingan seeing chakra, I might be able to notice signs of them using something like the Fish Projection Jutsu to move through the branches.”

Yoko yaps over Naruto’s shoulder. “Ah right. She’s in to try and sniff out a trail.”

One of the Taki anbu steps up for a closer look. “I wasn’t informed that they were sending someone with Inuzuka clan training, let alone someone not of the clan with those skills.”

Kakashi chuckles as he reaches down and ruffles Naruto’s hair. “Yeah, these kids take after me in some pretty awesome ways. I’ll have Pakkun and Urushi on it too.” Yoko peeks up to Kakashi and tilts her head. “Yes, I’m bringing Urushi for you.” Yoko’s tail wags frantically.

Sakura rolls her eyes. “Well, I’ll join you three on that, then. Cover more ground.”

Shikamaru scratches his head. “Well, we should check the site of the murder first.”

Asuma nods and pulls out a fresh cigarette, lighting it with his thumb. “I’ll check the body, get a grasp on what skill sets the perp is using. All those years dealing with assassins, ya learn to figure out people’s talents by inspecting a wound.”

Ino hums. “Do you have a list of all the shinobi closest to the incident that survived, and anyone suspicious?”

“Of course.” The anbu’s head tilts slightly, noticing something amidst the trees nearby. “I have a few suspicions of my own. I see you’re a Yamanaka. Do you intend to check them for genjutsu?”

Ino snaps her finger and grins. “Of course! It’s what my clan does best.”

Chouji hums. “Hey, Asuma-sensei, you mind if I follow team 7? I won’t be much help with a body or suspects, but I can help them search easily enough. Also…” Chouji reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small list. “My dad caught wind that the mission would be here and gave me a grocery list for some delicacies here.” He grins ear to ear. “Mushrooms from here are the best.”

One of their guiding shinobi chuckles. “Yeah, can’t argue that. Chouza-san always walks out of here with a scroll packed with our best.” He sighs. “But, before you split up, you need to meet with our Standing Chief and Captain.”

Kakashi’s head raises. “Standing Chief? What happened to Hisen?”

The anbu sighs deeply and adjusts his mask. “We lost our esteemed chief on the night of the break-in. Signs of strain in his body suggest he had used the Hero Water sample reserved for the Chief to attempt to stop them, but… he was quickly dealt with while under it’s effects. Whoever’s responsible for this is a genuine monster.”

Asuma takes a long drag from his cigarette and hangs his head. “Damn it all… Well, how’s Shibuku handling it?”

“Frankly, abysmally. He’s fine with politics, but his nerves are shot, and grieving has proven difficult when he’s overcome with fear.”

Sasuke clenches his fists. “Well… hopefully, we can find solid enough answers to settle his mind.”

Naruto nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Alright… Lead the way. Sooner I can get up there and find some answers, the better.”

The trek through the village is scenic and calming, managing to put most of them at a good baseline by the time they arrive. The gentle roar of the waterfalls and soothing mists are comforting, almost hypnotic. The Kyuubi keeps telling Naruto he needs to work on meditation. Maybe setting himself beneath one of these falls will help. The ones here somehow feel… different. But he can’t put his finger on it yet.

Once they reach the tops of the cliffs, they take a short boat ride across the lake. Peeking down into it, the waters prove crystalline and provide a gorgeous view of the roots winding together in the lakebed, inhabited by countless exotic fish in a myriad of colors.

Finally, they reach the shore beneath the tree’s gigantic trunk and a mansion nestled into it’s gargantuan roots. An aged shinobi with cloudy gray hair and a bushy beard blending together to nearly form a storm cloud around his wrinkled face stands between them and the doors. Kakashi steps up front of the crew and waves. “Kumotori-san. I see you’re doing well. The beard’s a nice addition.”

“Yeah, hides this hideous mug well enough.” He snorts. “And look at you, finally a functional sensei. I thought I’d never see you training a group of brats.”

Naruto huffs. “I’ll have you know we are the group of brats. We work hard to torture him enough for that title.”

Kumotori’s eyes fall on Naruto and he slowly grins through his beard. “Oh, I know someone who’s gonna love you. Alright, get in here and let’s get to work.” He waves them over and he piles into the foyer to find the young Chief waiting for them.

He is still quite young, a mere 20 years old and rather short for his age, wearing something quite reminiscent of Haku’s yakuta, with a red scarf. His eyes are slightly sunken, sleep deprived and focused on some imperceptible concept more than the shinobi standing before him. Despite his turmoil, he bows. “Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming so quickly to aid my village. For the unaware genin, I am Shibuki, the acting Chief of Takigakure, in my father’s place.”

Asuma bows to the young man. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Shibuki-sama. You’ve grown well since we last met.”

After a few moments, his stern yet emotionless gaze softens into a smile. “Asuma-san, no need to be so formal with me. It’s great to see you again, and you as well, Kakashi-san. And I believe I recognize one of your students.” He slowly steps closer. “Chouji-san, current? Chouza’s son?”

Chouji nods and bows as well. “Yes sir!” When he raises his head, he’s a bit sheepish. “Did my dad really talk about me that much when he was here?”

“Oh, incessantly. Your father may be a humble man, but all of that goes out the window the moment he starts talking about you.”

Chouji grumbles and hunches, but Naruto can’t help but chuckle a bit as he realizes he finally knows how that feels. “Ah, suck it up Chouji. Now…” Naruto steps up and crosses his arms. “Uzumaki Naruto reporting for duty! Konoha’s latest trap master and tracker.” Yoko yaps from his hood. “Ok, Yoko here’s the tracker, but she’s employed by me.” Yoko growls. “Yes I do. I pay you in belly rubs, treats, and easy access to Urushi.” She whines, but relents.

Shibuki is a bit taken aback by Naruto’s odd mannerisms, but he can’t stop the heavy-hearted laugh this absurdity managed to shake free. “Well, I look forward to working with you, young man. Just be sure that any traps you place are with full disclosure to myself and my staff and guides to disarming them.”

Naruto nods and rubs his hands together maliciously. “Oh, I’m gonna have fun with it. Ya see, I’ve been working on seals triggered by specific sign combinations in close proximity. I can connect that to both an activation and deactivation clause-”

Shibuki crosses his arms with one finger up over his mouth and hums at the thought. “Resulting in one set of information used to trick a traitor or spy and catch them in the trap, with the other being a fully functional deactivation sequence. Brilliant work! I’m a bit rusty on seals myself been focused on more physical training as of late, but it’s part of the duty of Takigakure’s chief to be at least moderately literate in sealing.” He bows. “Seeing the mind of a true Uzumaki Sealmaster in the making at work is enlightening.”

Naruto’s jaw drops and he babbles for a moment. “S-Sealmaster? No, I’m n-nowhere near that good yet, I don’t even have a proper sensei to teach me! I’m almost entirely self-taught, and I’ve got a hell of a long way to go!”

Shibuki chuckles softly as he uprights himself. “Indeed, but I already see potential. Now, I can see what your task is. What of the rest of you?”

A quick reiteration of plans determined on the way is quickly memorized, and Shibuki nods in agreement. “A solid strategy. I leave you to your work, then. Kumotori, please escort Asuma-san and his students to your offices to inspect the body and interrogate the suspects. And Kakashi-san, if I may, I’d appreciate a word with you in private before you and your students leave. It may be best for them to wait outside.”

Kumotori nods and waves for Asuma, Ino, and Shikamaru to follow. The remaining students follow them out and wait outside the doors, while Kakashi looks to Tsubuki and puts his book away. “It’s interesting, seeing you take charge. I’m sorry for your loss, but I know your father would be proud of how you’re handling things here now.”

After a few moments, Shibuki sighs shakily and hangs his head, managing to let just a few years free. He’s always seen Kakashi as someone he could relate to somewhat amongst the elites, being a mere six years apart. He’s willing to let his walls down just a tad in his presence. “Thank you, Kakashi-san.” He takes a moment to calm himself before raising his head. “Now, on to business. Your students are all an interesting bunch. The newest generation of Ino-Shika-Cho is surely welcome. I recognize the last Uchiha well, having met his traitorous brother in his innocent youth. The pink girl I’m not quite sure of, but Naruto… He’s exactly who I believe him to be, isn’t he?”

Kakashi huffs and nods. “Of course you’d recognize him. But I feel there’s more than just his looks and sealing talents that cued you in. So, do tell.”

Shibuki looks to the windows, gazing off into the sky. “Our own Jinchuuriki, Fū, sensed his presence approaching earlier and got rather giddy about it. I suspect she’ll be stalking him for hours and looking for the right moment to approach.”

“Hmm?” Kakashi follows his gaze to the window, noticing a speck of red amongst the branches. “I see. Will this be a problem, or should I let it happen?”

“Frankly, it may be good for them both. Fū has always been excitable, but quite lonely. Meeting another of her own kind with such an inviting disposition should go wonderfully.”

Kakashi nods and pulls his book back out. “Sounds good to me. I’ll try not to interrupt if I see her approaching, then. And if any of your own staff try to bother her?”

“You have my permission to deal with them as you see fit.”

“Duly noted. Now go get some sleep, you look like you’re about to fall over.” Kakashi turns and saunters out, leaving Shibuki to sigh and nod in agreement as he makes his way back upstairs.

Soon enough, Naruto and company are making their way up the side of the titanic tree to search it’s branches, and Naruto is pulling his communication seal from his collar and up under his headband. “Hey, am I coming in clearly?”

“Yes, brat, you’re coming in fine. Hmm… This tree is holding up quite well after all this time, without Hashirama maintaining it.”

“The Shodaime? So he made this tree?”

“Back in the feudal era, before the villages. Taki was actually one of the first to take up the village structure, back before I was first sealed. Before even Konoha was founded. The place has grown considerably, but they put it here because they recognized the protection and rare properties this Mokuton-grown tree carries. Hence the Hero Water shrine that was broken into recently.”

“Wait, is that using nature energy like Ero-Sennin mentioned?”

“Indeed. Impressive work, as much as I hate the man. All the nature energy here is throwing off my senses, not quite used to it anymore. Now that I’m adjusting, I’m starting to pick up on a very familiar chakra signature here. I’d forgotten what worthless village she’d been given to.” He grumbles. “My sister, the Nanabi, is nearby. Her jinchuuriki seems interested in you.”

Naruto loses chakra control for a moment and almost falls off the tree, causing his teammates, Chouji, and several Taki shinobi to stare at him. “There’s another f*cking jinchuuriki here?! Where are they?”

“Buzzing around somewhere overhead. My sibling sealed in her is a giant insect, so her jinchuuriki tend to be able to fly once properly trained. But that makes it harder to sense her, hidden among all the nature energy drawn to the leaves of this Senju-grown tree.”

“Ya don’t say?” He grumbles. “Well, I’ll wait for them to come to me then.”

“For the best. You have work to do.”

For now, Naruto focuses on regaining his footing on the tree and keeping up with the team.

The search is… difficult. Sasuke finds that his eyes can’t penetrate the tree and view chakra distortions within due to the concentration of it within the wood, an unnatural amount energy of a kind he can’t quite identify until Naruto informs him of natural energy.

Sakura and Chouji focus on more conventional tracking, finding no branches damaged and no signs of sheared bark. Yoko is likewise stumped, but does manage to pick up a light scent of a chemical, something she grumbles about being similar to scents near Konoha’s hospital and funeral homes. Whoever did this was very sterile, whether that be due to technique or attempts to wash away their own scent with something generic is uncertain.

It’s not until Naruto is a good distance from the rest of the group that he suddenly hears something buzzing towards him. Moments later, a girl with a caramel complexion and green hair lands in front of him, a set of insect wings retreating into a red cylinder strapped to her back. She stands before him in the branches, arms tucked behind her as she looks him over. “Hmmm… so you’re Number Nine, huh?”

Naruto frantically looks around for a moment. “Um, y-you really shouldn’t talk about that in public.” He sighs and scratches his head. “But… yeah. He warned me you were nearby, Seven.”

“Warned?” She tilts her head, then raises it a bit and rolls her eyes. “Ah, right. Choumei told me he’s not too eager to talk to most of his siblings.”

Naruto grumbles. “Damnit, she already told you her name? The Kyuubi won’t tell me sh*t yet.”

“Hey, I tell you plenty! I’m a fountain of ancient wisdom!”

“Never tell me anything about yourself!”

“Yeah…” Naruto’s attention is drawn back to the girl before him. “It took a while for her to trust me enough, but we’re pretty close now. She already mentioned his name accidentally, but apparently a lot of Biju consider learning their name to be a right of passage. Choumei’s not really one of them, though. She’s actually really talkative.” She giggles nervously. “Oh, right, speaking of which, I got ahead of myself. I’m Fū!”

Naruto stares for just a moment, but sighs and hangs his head with a smile. “Well Fū, I’m Naruto.” He reaches up and crosses his arms behind his head. “Kyuubi Jinchuurii, trap master, and future Hokage!”

Fu smirks and saunters closer. “Hokage, huh? Damn, one of us becoming a Kage… after what happened in Kiri, that’d be one hell of a thing to see. But if you’re that good, I kinda wanna fight you to see it for myself.”

Naruto’s smile slowly grows into a feral grin. “Really? Well, if my sensei and Shibuki let us, I’m all for it!”

“Naruto!” Kakashi calls out. “What did I tell you about accepting fights from everyone that challenges you?”

“Only if there’s a good bet involved?”

“That or…” Sasuke cuts in. “if they’re a self-professed honor-bound prick who won’t take no for an answer.”

“Both correct.”

Sakura hangs her head and grumbles. “Damnit, why doesn’t anyone wanna challenge me?”

.

.

Asuma paces the autopsy chamber with a hand over his mouth. He needs a smoke more than ever, and he can’t light one in a sterile room, but there’s no way he’s leaving soon.

These bodies are atrocious. The damage sustained is frankly confusing. A pair of debilitating wounds to each, targeting vocal cords and Achilles tendons, keeping them from calling for help or running. Cold and efficient, and with the purpose. With efficiency like that, they could have killed them in an instant with a similar strike to the back of the neck or a major artery, but they clearly had the goal of keeping the targets alive for a few more moments.

The culprit stole their still-beating hearts. The wounds just beneath their ribs are wide open, having clearly been in them up to their elbows to reach for their hearts and pull them out manually. Surgical precision and sadism in equal measure. He hasn’t seen anything of the sort since Orochimaru, but he prefers full test subjects over organs, and there was surely nothing special about these hearts in particular. So then, why?

.

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A.N.: And I'm back! Sorry for the delays A few bouts of depression got in the way. But, I'm really in a creative swing lately, and although I struggled with this chapter, I came up with a tone of great ideas I'm eager for moving forward that'll really speed things up!

Chapter 25: Packs and Pariahs

Chapter Text

"Report."

"Danzo-sama…" An exhausted Root agent kneels before his bandaged commander, bowing as he presents the worst report of his career. "You attempts to spark war between Konoha and Iwa were unsuccessful. The kamikaze squad struck and their tags failed to detonate. All of them. I could not get close enough to discern why while they were discussing the scenario afterwards. With the explosive tactic failed and the element of surprise lost, the combination of teams 7, 10, and the students of Kitsuchi managed to defeat all units. Only I was able to return." He clenches his fist against the ground as he recalls his failure. "Amongst Kitsuchi's students were a prodigal member of the Blast Corp and a survivor of the Matsumoto clan."

Danzo's brow furls as he grows quite angry for the first time in a long time. His grip on his throne tightens. "Valuable assets in enemy hands, and we failed to strike them down young. Seeing as you failed to mention his third student, I'm going to suspect it was Kurotsuchi. Is this correct?"

"Indeed, sir."

"And now that damnable fence-sitter's family knows of my intentions, as do Hiruzen's rebellious boy and Hatake. This attack was a gamble, but it was a secure one, if not for the explosive tags somehow not working." His eye focuses on the man kneeling before him. "Where did we acquire those faulty tags from?"

"Directly from the anbu stocks, sir. I tested them myself later, and it appears they worked fine outside of the encounter. My best guess is some sort of passive ability wielded by the Blast Corp child. Otherwise, I haven't a clue why they would have failed to detonate."

Danzo grumbles and aims his cane towards the door to his left. "You are dismissed." His agents is gone without a trace in under a second. Danzo is left in silence, amidst the roots of a titanic tree from the Forest of Death, grown into paths along an enormous stone bunker. "It will take some time to develop a proper lie for Hiruzen. Thankfully, unrest in one of our former bases of operation nearby the incident will help." He rubs his jaw, feeling an old injury acting up from gritting his teeth in anger. "It's odd. Amegakure has never been quieter. It's a deathly silence. More so than Hanzo ever produced." He hums as he rises from his throne and takes his cane. "Those fools who killed him. That boy. His ambitions are too great to ignore, yet I can't get a word through that downpour as to what he's doing. If I don't get anything soon, I may need to resort to something even riskier than espionage, come the exams."

.

.

"So let me get this straight." Naruto leans against the roots of Taki's Hero Tree with his arms crossed. "That cactus brew they stole from Shukaku actually had the Kyuubi so f*cked he thought a rock formation in a sandstorm was Son Goku, and he glassed the whole sand storm cuz he thought his brother was giving him the stink eye?"

Fuu giggles as she sits across from him. "Chōmei apparently has a habit of getting her siblings wasted and just enjoying the show. Although Kokuo, the Gobi, is a bit of a weepy drunk."

The Kyuubi grumbles into Naruto's head. "It's true, he's pathetic. He never even cries over things that happened to him, he just gets sympathetic and whines about random things he's seen and finds pitiful."

"Hey, isn't Kokuo the weird fish/horse hybrid one?"

"Yeeaaaah…" Fuu leans back and kicks the air a bit. "I never got that one either."

"Naruto!" Their attention is drawn away as Kakashi calls out from downhill. "They're ready to escort us into the Hero Water Shrine. Let's move."

Naruto groans and hops down. "Alright, alright. You comin', Fuu?"

"Um…" She slowly looks away. "I'd rather not. I'm not really… welcomed most places here."

Naruto stares for a moment, but his face falls as he nods. "Right… yeah, I get that. Well, I'll come back and grab you when we're done, ok?"

Fuu smiles somberly and nods, then swings her feet up onto the titanic root she's sitting on and lays back.

As Naruto walks away with Kakashi, he peeks back somberly. "… She's treated just as badly here as I was before I met you guys… and I really don't think that's gonna change any time soon."

Kakashi nods and closes his book. "Indeed… but what do you propose we do about it? Getting her to Konoha would be difficult. She's Taki's sole jinchuuriki, a nuclear deterrent. Taking her would be taking one of their strongest units and defenses."

Naruto grumbles and hangs his head as he frantically scratches it. "I know, I know! Ugh, there has to be a way to get here out of here! Something we can leverage with!"

"Politics still isn't your strong suit, but you'll get there. We'll think of something." He puts his book away as they approach the talisman-laden entrance of the shrine, a winding hole walled with twisted roots diving deep into the core of the tree. Naruto traces his fingers along the wall. A few roots are broken, but they appear to already be healing, growing back together in new paths. The breaks appear quite rough. Couldn't have been clean cuts. If anything they were torn with blunt force, like a laceration from a solid punch to the head. But the damage was from a multitude of different angles and heights. Something whipped around and lashed at the roots with wild abandon.

Finally reaching the site of the shrine itself, it appears to be cleaned form the incident already. The only remaining signs are the broken roots and a few red stains where the bodies one laid. The roots in the ceiling are woven together and down, dripping dew into a single glass bottle. They've arrived just in time to see a single drop produced- the first drop of a new bottle placed just after the incident.

Naruto crouches to inspect the bottle more closely while Kakashi inspects the damage to their surroundings. "So, what's your take on it?"

" The nature energy here, in this room especially, is incredibly potent. I would say someone could, with a full dose, achieve about a third of the power of Hashirama for a few minutes before it kills them. Without his skill and training though, it's less effective, and this particular blend of nature energy would be closely tied to mokuton, or at least doton and suiton. Working outside those elements would be a bit wasteful. Regardless, that man was an absolute monster on the battlefield, so achieving that much sage chakra for a short time is still a significant threat."

Naruto grumbles and peeks back to the anbu. "How full was the last bottle during the incident?"

The two anbu look to one another for a moment. "Hmm... I'd say about two thirds. At least five years away yet from a complete dose."

Naruto scowls as he considers that. "About a quarter of the Shodiame's sage chakra in a single bottle. Whoever has that is one of the most dangerous people in the world right now. Unassuming at first, and next thing ya know, they could kill most elite jonin for a few minutes before they drop dead." He huffs as he stands.

"Whoever it is must have big plans for it if they haven't used it already, then." Kakashi cuts in. "Even if it's not a complete dose, it's enough to complete most jobs in a pinch." He turns to the anbu. "How many doses are currently in stock here?"

The anbu shakes his head. "Only the one Hisen drank just before he died and another currently carried by Shibuki. As best we know from the stain left where Hisen's body was, he'd been attacked in the middle of chugging it and spilled half the bottle." The anbu clenches his fists. "The blood spray patterns there suggested his chest had been pierced and he remained there alive for a at least thirty seconds before his heart was ripped out."

Naruto shudders, but his eyes narrow. "… He wanted to study a heart that had been effected by the hero water. He left him alive, but helpless, just long enough for the hero water's chakra to reach his heart and start effecting it."

Kakashi's eye darts to Naruto. "So you picked up on that too? The heart theft was too deliberate. There had to be a purpose to it."

"Yeah…" Naruto grumbles as he starts walking out. "Are you thinking Orochimaru too? Ero-sennin and Hokage-jiji both told me more that enough about the prick to piece that together. He must have come here and memorized the location at some point."

"Possibly…" Kakashi shakes his head. "But something about that doesn't add up. He always preferred live test subjects, not organs and samples." He peeks over his shoulder and back down the tunnel. "And something tells me these anbu aren't being completely forward. Not out of guilt, but fear. They're afraid of their own theory as to who's behind it."

.

.

Ino huffs and drops back into her seat, taking a moment to down a chakra pill and a bottle of water. "Ugh… no signs of guilt in anyone yet, but that last guy was scared. This whole assassination and theft has a big chunk of their force on edge."

Sakura side-eyes her. "Uh… duh. Their leader got assassinated. That's not something you gloss over."

"No, no…" Shikamaru cuts in. as he hunches over the table. "It's more than that. Leaders dying is something shinobi of this caliber come to expect and grow accustomed to. But there should still be more sorrow. Instead, we keep seeing fear, anxiety. It's like whoever did this meets the requirements of their personal boogeyman. Omens from an old village tale dropping on them like a vengeful god."

Asuma nods as he forces himself from his seat. "Good thinking, Shikamaru. As always." He snorts. "We should return to Shibuki and speak with him about this. He should be straight with us about what's come back to haunt them."

.

.

"Oi, kaa-san." Kiba wanders into the open yard on Inuzuka property, where Tsuma is watching over a plethora of puppies as they run, skirmish, and some are lazy and just napping in the sun. She doesn't look away from them, but it's clear she heard her son. "The exams are comin up pretty soon, right?"

Tsume hums and smirks, peeking to Kuromaru at her side. "Alright, I guess you won that bet." She waves Kiba over. "So, Whatcha need, pup?

Kiba grumbles as he approaches. "Really gotta stop betting against me like that. Anyway, I was wondering…" He stops beside her and looks out over the playing pups. "… How do you think Akamaru and I measure up to Naruto and Yoko?"

"Hmmm… tough question." She hums. "On our clan's abilities, you far outclass him, especially seeing as Yoko lacks the physical advantages Akamaru has and the ability to use most of our jutsu. She's good at tunneling, but right now she doesn't have much else. And then there's elements. You share a secondary earth affinity, but your primary fire beats his wind, although I'm not sure about outclassing it. Akamaru's lightning gets outdone by his wind, though." She shakes her head. "Then there's everything else. On physical stamina, you're matched, but his chakra is overwhelming, for obvious reasons." Kuba grumbles. "Handling the swaths of his clones should be easy, especially with one of your new Gatusga variants. Your own chakra capacity and control have climbed considerably due to training with elemental chakra, so your control is probably better than his still. When it comes to traps, you need to develop a better eye for them, or he'll trip you up too much to counter."

Kiba huffs and hangs his head. "So right now, it's a toss-up, right?"

"Practically. But I can think of a few tricks that might give you an edge." She grins. "Since he took a few pages from us, you'll take some notes from him."

.

.

Yoko yaps as she runs up to Naruto to rejoin him. She leaps into his arms and climbs up into his hoodie just as they reach the front door of Shibuki's place. Sasuke and Chouji are waiting there for them, as instructed, having finished their sweep of the roots. Sasuke rests his arm on his horizontal waist-mounted sheath as he stands. "Took you long enough. Anything interesting in the shrine?"

Kakashi nods. "Signs of rather malicious combat and a very odd weapon or jutsu I can't identify. Angles and scoring suggest whips, but it's far too numerous."

Naruto scratches his head. "Can't make sense of it either. But, putting some good trap defenses in there should be pretty easy. The hall into it is pretty narrow, that'll keep the array simpler, and it'll require less power. Getting it powered shouldn't be difficult if I have it feed off the chakra in the roots. The ones for the tunnel being drained won't weaken the Hero Water at all, and we'll never have to worry about the seals needing to be refueled."

Chouji's jaw drops. "Whoa, that's awesome! Those roots really have that much power running through them?"

Naruto chuckles. "Nature energy, man. I wanna master it eventually, but right now, that sh*t scares me." He gently scratches Yoko's head as she whines in his ear.

Kakashi steps past Naruto and puts his book away. "It is indeed fearsome. I've seen Jiraiya use it once, and the results were terrifying."

Chouji grins ear to ear. "Ok, I'm gonna have to see if we can get some root samples to take back to my clan and try to work them into new pills."

Naruto shrugs. "Ill-advised, but more power to ya." He peeks over to see Asuma returning with the remaining three genin. "How'd things go with the interrogation and autopsies?"

Ino huffs and pouts. "No guilt, but everyone was pretty freaked out. Whoever did this is someone they know and they're all terrified of."

Sakura shudders. "I couldn't look at the bodies for long, but really didn't like what I saw. And samples taken from the previous chief showed signs of plant cells. Chlorophyll."

"Ah." Naruto rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, that'd be nature's fault. From what Ero-sennin told me of nature energy, this tree is filtering a sh*tload of it into the Hero Water, so drinking it makes you a sage at the cost of it basically trying to turn you into a tree."

Asuma shudders. "Well, that's unpleasant, but it makes sense. As for the bodies, all of them lost their hearts. Gutted out by something smooth and flexible, and quite long. I can't think of any tool that could possibly match."

Kakashi grumbles. "But the shinobi here recognized it somehow. A kinjutsu, maybe?"

Sasuke nods. "Must be, with a description like that. The kind that's forbidden more for how inhumane it is than how dangerous."

Asuma puts his cigarette out with a quick tap and approaches the door. "Seen my fair share of those. Let's see if Shibuki knows something."

He's halted by a Takigakure Jonin at the door. "I'm sorry sir, but Shibuki and Kumotori have requested that nobody enter the manor. They must speak in private for now."

Asuma scowls, but grunts and backs away. "We'll be waiting here for them, then." He peeks back to his team ad Team 7. He's spent enough time guarding royalty to know political strongarming when he sees it. Kakashi nods in agreement. The guard's tension and aggression is just a tad much for a simple private meeting. Kakashi's about to move, but he pauses as Yoko mumbles something in Inuzuka. He nods and focuses his ears. He already heard that insectoid flapping, and quickly determines they have someone already dropping in to assist.

Fuu hovers above the manor, silently approaching one easter balcony and through the open door. She steps as silently as possible, knowing her wings are just a tad noisy for stealth. She can soon hear an argument downstairs.

"You can't be serious! Yes, if Kakuzu has returned, it's an ordeal to approach, but you cannot expect such authoritative methods to work!"

"If Kakuzu's returned, we cannot rely on the platitudes of a cowering child to lead our people! I should have been appointed upon your father's death, and every shinobi in this village knows it!"

"But the common people will not agree, and you'll have a full-scale dissent and defection on your hands! You cannot overcome someone so vile with more violence!"

"Oh, I'll show you violence. "

"Wait, how did you get your hands on-"

"Well, my father survived a full dose save for dying a bit young, so a half dose should be fine, right?!"

Fuu buzzes through the room and grabs Shibuki, heading straight for a window and breathing out a dense blast of dust that carves through the wooden bars blocking their path. She skids to a stop amongst the Konoha teams with rage overwhelming her. Crimson chakra leaks free just as she sets Shibuki aside. "Kumotori is attempting a coup and just took half a bottle of Hero Water!"

All eyes turn to the one guard outside, and he freezes entirely, barely having time to flinch before Kakashi's embedded a kunai in his jugular. "Shibuki-sama. I suspect you wish for us to expand our duties here to halting this insurrection?"

Shibuki pants and stumbles to his feet. "Indeed, Kakashi. Eliminate them." He looks around to the rest of the two squads and Fuu. "All of you."

Asuma nods and brandishes his knuckle dusters. "Chouji, Sakura, Shikamaru, and I are on defense. Shibuki can fight, but he's the target and our client. Protect him at all costs."

"Hai!" Sakura starts running through a string of handsigns. Chouji pops the last of his chips in his mouth and his shoulder-length ponytail gets jagged. Shikamaru kneels and produces his shadow jutsu handsign.

Kakashi hums. "Ino, Naruto, Sasuke, and Fuu, you're on offense, but stick to lower-ranking targets first. Let Asuma and I handle Kumotori."

"Hai!" Naruto produces a scroll and prepares some exploding kunai to pass around. Yoko takes a few and goes underground. Sasuke draws his blade and electrifies it. Ino pulls senbon pouch with a violet label from her bag. Fuu grits her teeth and takes to the air again as she's shrouded in an erratic crimson aura.

Ino and Chouji shudder at the sensation it puts off. "What the hell kind of chakra is that?.."

Naruto mumbles. "I'll explain later, just try not to touch her right now, It'll hurt like hell." He turns his dialogue inward. "Should I be able to handle that amount right now?"

"Yes, but I advise waiting for the right moment, save it for when it's needed. Don't use my chakra as a crutch, boy."

"Got it."

As they finish gearing up for combat, the front door to the manor explodes off it's hinges. Out walks Kumotori, his beard looking a little mossy now, framing a crazed grin. He's soon flanked by a small collection of other shinobi, a few anbu and some chuunin. "Stand aside, Kakashi! I'll be leading Takigakure now!"

Naruto pull a few more tagged kunai out. "Not on your life!" he throws them, and although the troop moves to avoid the blasts- it turns out they instead release a cloud of a noxious foam in a wide array of colors. Some of them trip up from the smell, leaving them open long enough for Sasuke to rush in and slice one across the back, then retreat unharmed as two attempt to drive their own kunai into him. One guns right for Shibuki and he unloads a stream of water that slows them down enough for Ino to tag them with some poisoned senbon.

Kakashi and Asuma rush at Kumotori, performing a textbook pincer at first to get a read on him, only for Kakashi to burst into smoke and hide Asuma while the real Kakashi bursts from the ground behind him. Kumotori turns around and backhands Kakashi as he thrusts a leg out and kicks Asuma straight in his chest. "I can feel you all so clearly!" As his vision is flooded by orange, he practically ignores the clone army and rushes through to clash blades with Asuma, kunai and knuckle dusters clashing and sparking. Asuma keeps wind chakra channeled through them, but the nature energy buff to Kumotori's lightning keeps powering through and pushing him back. Every Naruto clone that comes up close is battered away with a strength-augmented kick or sliced on the backswing for each of his kunai strikes, or during dodges of Asuma's more complex maneuvers. One clone attempts to burst from the ground to strike, but Asuma's blade is guided down through it's face. Asuma then receives a swift kick to the chin and goes barreling backwards and over the crowd of clones. By now, most of Kumotori's comrades have been struck down or blasted to oblivion by the explosives Yoko had been tunneling around with.

As the battle continues, Shikamaru closely watches Kumotori's features. He's begins to liberally drool mass amounts of water over his mossy beard. His fists appear cracked and dusty. The elements are slowly overtaking him. His eyes dart to his classmates. "Ino, take a pill and get ready to chain. Clones, dive and soak yourselves, then back into the fray! Surround him!"

"On it!" Naruto's clones dive into the lake, then rush to join the battle, dripping wet. Meanwhile, Fuu buzzes down into Kumotori and throws one of his comrades as a meat missile. Kumotori spins and kicks the body aside, but he's left open for Kakashi to burst from the ground and grab him by his ankle. He holds Kumotori's ankle above his head, and thrusts his kunai for a strike to his liver. Kumotori picks his other leg up and kicks Kakashi on the wrist. The snap of it breaking is followed by a heavy thwack as he lands in a handstand, flips upright with a spin, and kicks Kakashi clean through a dozen of Naruto's clones.

"Ino, get ready!" As the clones close in, Shikamaru flips through handsigns. "Suiton: Hyōmenchōryoku!" (Water Style: Surface Tension!) The water clinging to the clones and spilling from Kumotori's mouth all chains together in hovering liquid bridges.

Ino finishes her own chain of handsigns and grabs one of the clones. "Sorry, Naruto. Raiton: Dendō!" (Lightning Style: Conduction!) An electrical current runs across the water linking all of the clones, converging on Kumotori and zapping him into a twitching mess.

"Chouji, go high!" Sakura slams her hands to the ground, using Mud Wall to instead produce a ramp. Chouji rolls up it and into the air. As he rises, Sasuke throws a plethora of kunai connected by wire up to him. Centrifugal force keeps the kunai facing outwards, and he's wrapped in them harmlessly.

Chouji grins viciously and bares his teeth- with sake leaking from between them and the gourd sloshing, half empty, on his belt. He spits a blazing mist and spins into it, shrouding his spiked, spinning form in flames. As he gets above Kumotori, Ino drains herself with her lightning jutsu and cuts off the charge. Naruto's clones all expire at once. Noticing his trajectory is off, Fuu divekicks Chouji towards Kumotori at the cost of a gash on her leg from one of the kunai. She doesn't care, enraged as she is.

Kumotori, regaining his senses from that shock, grabs the ground and rips a boulder from it- nearly merging with his hand as he swings up and smacks Chouji away with it.

Chouji disappears on contact, and Sakura huffs and drops her handsigns. "Checkmate."

Kumotori looks to his left and sees Chouji bearing down on him from a separate angle. Everything was real, but the genjutsu just displaced their positions ninety degrees to his right!

"YAKINIKUDAN HARI SENSHA!" (SPIKED BARBECUE TANK) Chouji rolls him into a burning pit for a good five seconds before he loses momentum and deflates, bouncing back and huffing as he sheds the kunai net and tosses it aside.

Naruto stares gaping from the sidelines with Asuma, still nursing his jaw after personally dislocating it. "… Holy sh*t, I can't believe that f*cking worked!"

"It didn't." Naruto's eyes widen and he spins to find a cracked and monstrous Kumotori risen from the ground behind him. He throws one hell of a punch, barely saved by Asuma getting between them- but both go tumbling uphill and into the roots. "Enough of those damned clones." He huffs and peeks around as the remaining students raise their guard and Kakashi starts preparing a Chidori. Kumotori grunts and chains some handsigns, one of his fingers nearly breaking off in the process. "Futon: Daitoppa!" He almost chokes and sputters on the water pouring from his mouth as he inhales for it, but the following air blast is dense and combine with the water to become a fragment of a hurricane, pelting them all with rain and gale force winds. Everyone loses their footing and goes tumbling away, while Fuu's wings are punched full of holes by the rain and she spirals into the lake.

With everyone down, Kumotori slowly approaches Naruto and Asuma, sitting together against the roots, battered and bruised. Naruto struggles to push himself up, covered in welts and his brow bleeding. The maddened false sage stands just downhill, their heads level, as he raises a cracked, dripping hand. "Suiton…" The water in his clothes and mouth converges into a sharpened rod. "Mizuyari." (Water Spear)

Naruto rushes to block, dodge, something, closing his eyes in fear of this likely fatal blow-

But he hears something burst from the ground and yelp. He feels a splash across his face. Much of it is water, but some is too thick, too warm.

He opens his eyes and his gaze slowly drifts to the ground before him, finding a fox with a hole through her abdomen, bleeding out quickly and unresponsive.

"Y… Yoko?..."

"Yoko…"

And his world goes red.
.

Chapter 26: Rebirth

Chapter Text

Shikamaru watches from the sidelines with his brow furled and a twitch in every joint. The crimson chakra overtaking Naruto is oppressive and torturous. Every nerve in his body is firing and saying to get far, far away from him. It barely takes shape for a few moments, but retracts from nearly forming a tail and ears to be just an aura raging around him. His eyes have gone feral and as red as his chakra. The whisker marks on his face grow wide and jagged. His nails have grown into claws. He stands well uphill from the shore, but the water still ripples away from him across the lake. Birds and insects in the enormous tree above scatter for safety.

Shikamaru knows all too well that both Naruto and the Kyuubi have been overcome by rage. Little can stop their tirade now.

His thoughts are cut off by his teammate beside him. "Shika…" Chouji speaks shakily, horror dripping from his words. "What… the hell is happening?..." Ino turns her attention to him, believing the smartest person she knows besides his dad may have answers.

Shikamaru huffs. "… Ask Naruto after we get through this. For now, keep your distance, and try to calm him down."

Kakashi shudders at the sensation of that chakra. So much... he hasn't felt it like this since the night the Kyuubi attacked. Since then, just one spark the night Naruto learned Kage Bunshin. Now, it's a torrent, barely contained. Naruto's trying not to lose himself to it, he can tell by the twitching in his student's face, but he's simply too angry to contain it.

Asuma fears for his other students for a moment. He thinks he could take Naruto in his current state, if he doesn't get up to a full tail. But if he goes beyond, it'll start getting dicey. Damn, he hates fighting jinchuuriki. That run-in with Roshi when he was with the Twelve Guardians was just painful.

Sakura and Sasuke share a glance. She speaks first. "Do you think he can control it?"

"Now?" Sasuke's eyes narrow. "No. But give him time. Steer clear, let him burn himself out and tear Kumotori down a bit. You focus on Yoko."

Sakura nods and ducks further down the hill and out of sight to circle and around and collect her. Sasuke stashes the Raijin no Ken to save on chakra as he backs off with her.

Fuu shivers at just how… malicious Naruto's chakra feels. So much anger on the airwaves she starts to feel it herself. She grips her head and takes a few deep breaths. "C-Choumei… c-can you help out?"

"You're still not ready for much, Fuu." Her voice is a cheerful, squeaky vibrato. "But I can give you as much as he has now."

Fuu nods and braces herself as crimson chakra floods her body, giving her an incomplete shroud that vibrates across her back as her wings grow. "O-Ok… let's back him up." While Kumotori is too focused on the rage Naruto is pouring out, Fuu divebombs and flips through handsigns. "HIDEN: GENWAKU RINPUN!" (Secret Art: Blinding Scale Powder) She blows out a cloud of shimmering carapace flakes, reflecting the lights filtering through the great tree and blinding him for just a moment.

This gives Naruto a perfect opening to rush in and deck the man with a cloaked haymaker. Kumotori hurdles back but flips back onto his feet. His face is more cracked, but he's still fighting. He gets his bearings just in time to see Naruto's cloak grow a full tail and ears… and the boy cackles. "I'm going to enjoy tearing you limb from limb for what you did to her!"

Kumotori huffs and starts up some handsigns. "If that vermin means so much to you, I'll send you to join her." He's about to complete his signs when Asuma rushes him and starts another round trying to box his head off. He ducks and weaces around, only to be blinded by another blast of scale powder, then blown up by Asuma's ash cloud mixed in with it- and the scale powder acted as an accelerant!

Just after the blast, he hears Kakashi rushing him with another Raikiri and ducks away, backpedaling across the water. He flashes through handsigns in the middle of his last backflip right over Naruto bolting out like a flying squirrel, completing the set as he lands and firing a pair of water dragons. Kakashi cuts right through one with Raikiri as he dives in, while Asuma barely carves up the other with Hien.

Fuu dives in front behind for a dropkick. Despite her cloak forming, he grabs her by the ankle and slings him around, batting Naruto away and leaving them both sprawled out in the water. He lets go just in time to duck backwards unto the water and away from Raikiri and be replaced by a small contingency of eater clones.

Those water clones are quickly dispatched by Ino waking from her stupor and using another Conduction- which shocks and disperses them all and regrettably kills a good number of fish.

Kumotori bursts from the water beneath Ino, steaming from both the shock and pure rage as he goes for her throat-

Only for Chouji to grab her with Partial Expansion and pull her away barely in time. He holds her close while Shikamaru attempts to hold Kumotori with his shadow, but senjutsu strength, even partial, tears right through.

A massive hand of crimson chakra suddenly grabs him and pulls back. Kumotori turns around as Naruto reels him in and decks him in the face. Everyone can swear they hear his skull cracking. If not for Naruto's advanced regeneration and defense, that blow would have surely killed him. Even then, his cloak falters and he collapses on the water. Although Kumotori pulls a kunai for a killing blow, he instead has to turn and block a lightning-charged kunai in Kakashi's hand.

While Kakashi has him occupied, Fuu dives down and grabs Naruto, taking him to the shore and beside his teammates. After a few moments, he sputters and coughs up some water.

Sakura sighs in relief while she continues running her Mystical Palm on Yoko. "Naruto, you're awesome out there, but rest for a moment." She flinches at first when Naruto's red eyes fall on her, but they soften at the sight of Yoko's limp body- but she's breathing!

Naruto rolls over and kneels beside her as his wounds sizzle and heal. "She… She's ok?.."

Sakura shakes her head. "I'm barely keeping her stable. Naruto, I'm sorry, but… she doesn't have long."

"Naruto."

He bolts upright. "Yeah, Kyuubi?"

"Let me speak for a moment."

Thought hesitant, he nods and closes his eyes. His whiskers widen and his lips become thick and black before his feral eyes open. "Sakura, this is the Kyuubi speaking. I might be able to save her, but frankly, it's going to hurt for you."

Sakura's jaw falls slack, but she shakes it off. "How do we do it?"

"Your chakra system in your hands will feel like it's on fire, and your ability to heal will be cut off until you heal in a few days, but if I filter my chakra through her, we can not only heal her, but make her even better."

Sakura's eyes widen in pure shock. "What? But… b-but… what will that do to her? How are you so sure this will work?"

He hums as he decides how to explain. "To put it simply… I'll basically be making a new summon species on fast-forward. She'll be the first."

Silence falls as how advanced this is sinks in, but she slowly steels herself and nods. "Do it. With that kind of power boost, and you and Naruto working together and level-headed…"

The Kyuubi grins as he places his hands over Sakura's and starts pumping his chakra into her jutsu. "This walking bastardization of my father's teachings will be suffering in short order."

Naruto watches from inside his own mind with a wide grin and tears running down his face. The mixing of their chakras is brutal, violent, and Sakura is biting her tongue to fight the pain, but it's working. Yoko's breathing grows deeper and steadier, and she's starting to grow. "Kyuubi… you really care, don't you?"

He falls silent as those words sink in. "… Refer to me as Kyuubi when speaking with others, Naruto." He slowly grins. "You and my born-again daughter may call me… Kurama."

Yoko's eyes open and flash with chakra, and just as soon as she was awoken, she was gone. So was Naruto. Sakura couldn't follow their movement, but she could see the waves spreading from their path. She ignores the burning in her hands, the fact her skin is red and raw and her fingers are twitching. She runs her own chakra through them to soothe it and dips her hands in the lake as she watches Naruto's back.

Kumotori and Kakashi halt in their own duel for a moment as their attention is drawn to the returning student.

Naruto's cloak is a tad brighter now, more orange than red, and his co*cky, domineering attitude returns as he cracks his knuckles. "So, imouto, how f*cked is he now?"

Yoko tilts her head and hums as twin tails sway behind her. "I believe tou-san would say… unequivocally." She suddenly splits into a dozen copies of herself that dance across the water in a circle around Kakashi and Kumotori. Naruto chuckles and ducks into the water, followed by a red flash through the lake. Suddenly, countless other copies of Yoko start leaping from the water to join them and randomly rush in to strike. Kakashi pulls back and away from the circle as the clones approach. One turns back into Naruto and throws a vicious punch that's swept away and met with a kick through the gut. Others starts surrounding him in tighter and tighter circles, some leaping overhead, as the Naruto clones scattered within rush for randomized attacks. One after another is dispatched until several charge at once and suddenly explode with Bunshin Bakuha!

As the smoke is still clearing, he lurches and peeks down as Kakashi's chirping hand thrusts through his chest from behind. He growls deeply and coughs up water and blood. Kakashi's smug for a moment, but Kumotori roars out and backhands Kakashi away. He tumbles to a stop and grabs his shattered ribs, knowing he's down after a hit like that. His sharingan spins as he memorizes the horrifying sight of Kumotori ripping his vest off to reveal a massive scar over the other side of his chest that produces a second heartbeat. "To think… the final remaining secrets of the Jiongu (Earth Grudge Fear) in Takigakure end with me… so soon after it's worst practitioner laid us low." He twitches as he reaches his best-functioning right arm up to the hole in the left side of his chest. He wheezes and spits more blood. "My seconds heart is barely keeping me alive. You got my lungs good..." He huffs as his eyes go bloodshot and red-tinged water floods from the hole. "But I'll be taking you and that pathetic chief with me!" He starts tearing through handsigns, but flinches as a kunai hits his shoulder.

Stone chips off his shapeshifting body and he peeks to the source as the smoke clears to see Naruto standing outside the rings the foxes had been dancing in. A lot of Naruto. All of them are facing him at an angle, and the foxes are gone. All but the one standing beside the real Naruto have been replaced with small hovering balls of flame with a red tinge. Yoko giggles. "Katon: Kitsunebi." (Fire style: Fox Fire)

Noting the dragon handsign Naruto and all his clones are holding, Kumotori comes to one obvious conclusion. "… Oh fff-"

"Fuuton!" Naruto yells, and his whole clone army responds. "DAITOPPA!" The blasts of wind are fired at an angle, catching the Kitsunebi and becoming a towering funnel of biju-charged flames! "Hiden: Natsu no Odoru!" (Secret Art: Dance of Summer)

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Kumotori's screams can barely be heard through the flames, and soon enough, die out. When the tornado breaks and scatters, all that can be seen is a baked clay statue of the man's warped and screaming form sinking into the lake.

Naruto's clones pop one by one until Naruto drops onto his back on the lake and pants. Fuu calls out from above. "That was f*ckING AWESOME!" Naruto responds by raising his thumb as he starts to sink, only for Yoko to bite his collar and start walking back to shore with him in tow.

Sasuke grumbles. "Great, now he can do elemental collaboration jutsu without me."

Sakura huffs as she pulls her hands from the water and finds them healing faster than expected. She attributes it to the Mokuton influence on the lake. "Yeah, but your fire is still stronger. It would have been way better if it was you."

"What, back to fangirling?"

"God, no."

Kakashi sighs and lays back as he nurses his broken ribs. "Well… that was something."

Asuma takes a seat beside him. "How do you think my dad's gonna take it when he finds out we fought a sage to the death and Naruto killed him?"

Kakashi huffs. "I killed him, Naruto just stopped his kamikaze. What I'm worried about is this Jiongu he mentioned…"

Asuma grumbles and lays back. "Another hint about this mastermind that stole the Hero Water. And how horrifying his jutsu is, if an amateur with it gave himself a second functioning heart."

"Sensei." Asuma turns to see Shikamaru approaching. "Ino and Chouji are gonna need explanations about what all just happened with Naruto and Fuu. Furthermore, if this village has already been infiltrated once, and now is severely short on chuunin and above shinobi…"

Asuma nods and hums. "Taki is in a very dangerous position."

"Indeed…" Finally, Shibuki limps his way over to them. Clearly, he'd been too outclassed at the start of this fight to keep up. Thankfully, knowing that also kept him safe. "And as such, I'm prepared to make a generous offer to Konoha."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow, looking away for just a moment as Yoko finally drags Naruto onto the shore and he speaks up in a groan. "And what would that be, Shibuki-sama?"

He sighs and takes a seat. "I'll need more Jonin here, and I have a lot of resources and intelligence to spare without high-ranking shinobi to share them with. So, I'll offer that and a dual-citizenship exchange program with ambassadorship. We will share in citizenship of the Nanabi jinchuuriki, and we will receive temporarily stationed chuunin and jonin shinobi until our forces are properly bolstered. It will unite our people, and our borders will be opened to Konoha alone."

Naruto and Fuu slowly peek up to him in confusion, but Fuu's face spreads into a wide, toothy grin. "I get to go to Konoha with them?"

Shibuki nods and smiles somberly. "I'm sure you'll be happier there. And safer from threats like Kakashi-san has warned me of."

Silence falls for a moment, but Fuu nearly bowls Shibuki over with a flying hug. "THANK YOU!"

Shikamaru sighs and stumbles off. "Great, another one."

Naruto rolls onto his back, spread-eagle as he stares up through the canopy with a smile. "Yeah… it's awesome."

"Um…" Chouji and Ino step up, with Ino almost hiding behind him as he speaks. "Speaking of…. 'another one'... what exactly a-are you two? What was that?"

Yoko huffs. "Simple. They're jinchuuriki." She lays on Naruto's chest and crosses her paws. "They each carry one of the nine Biju in a seal. Naruto-nii carries my father, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, while Fuu carries the Nanabi, Choumei."

Naruto glares down to her and grumbles. "Did you have to just blurt it out like that? I was gonna tell them, but… seriously, I thought you had more tact than that." Yoko just shrugs and closes her eyes to nap. Naruto pushes her off and she just flops onto the grass and lays there.

Ino sputters silently as she struggles to make sense of it, until her brow furls as the pieces come together. "The glares... the names… your birthday… It all makes sense. You really are containing that beast."

Naruto nods and nervously peeks up to them both as he sits up. "… you're... not scared?"

"Naruto, I'll be honest…" Chouji huffs. "I'm terrified, but not of you. For you. Are you sure you're ok, carrying that thing?"

Naruto raises an eyebrow, then closes his eyes. When they open, they're red again, and his whiskers are thicker. "I'm not a thing, brat. I'm one of the most ancient and noble beings on this earth. You'd best address me as such. As for your fears, set them aside. As much as I would have loved to raze Konohagakure no Sato, and largely still do want to, I know it's unwise. That night, I was under a genjutsu that didn't end until shortly before I was sealed into this boy."

Chouji slowly steps back. "O-O-ooooookay, I'll try to keep that in mind! Um… K-Kyuubi, sir."

Ino nods shakily in agreement. "O-Of course! It's an honor to speak with you, s-sir! But, um.. w-who else knows?"

Kurama hums. "Everyone present, most adults in your village, the Hokage of course, and the Hyuga heiress all know I'm in Naruto. Only those present and listening as well as the Hokage, your father, Shikaku, Iruka, Hinata, and Jiraiya of the Sannin know I was under a genjutsu."

Chouji hums and hangs his head. "Yeah, guess that makes sense. I-I mean…. If I wasn't so exhausted, I might panic about knowing there's someone out there with a strong enough genjutsu to control you."

Sasuke cuts in from the root he's lounging on. "Blame my family for it. Bunch of assholes."

Kakashi lowers his book. "Your uncle Obito wasn't."

"One exception, maybe two if we count Shisui. My mother's a given, she married in."

Kurama snorts. "Obviously."

"Sooo…." Fuu hovers upside-down above Naruto. "Aaaare we gonna get moving soon? I still smell that clay man you just baked and I really wanna get to Konoha."

Kakashi rolls his eyes. "Indeed. Five more minutes to rest, then we move out and back home. Got a hell of a mission report to turn in." He smirks as he recalls what's soon coming. "You kids are definitely ready."

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A deeply-wrinkled man nary four feet tall sits behind his mahogany desk as he sorts through the written reports of last week's incident. His eyes rise from them to the genin squad led by his son. "Are you certain of this?"

Kitsuchi nods and lights a cigarette with his thumb and some fire chakra. "Kakashi, Asuma, Zabuza, and a ton of clan heirs all together, topped with that blonde imp? Couldn't be clearer. Hiruzen's not playing around. Either get on board or back off." He huffs. "But something tells me there's more to gain from boarding. He's holding onto something big. Something critical. We both know he wouldn't play with all his cards on the table. Somethin tells me the ace of spades is still up his sleeve."

Onoki growls and taps his fingers across his desk. "… Very well. You're cleared for the exams. Keep me informed through the first and second round, and depending on your intel, I'll decide if I'm coming to the third myself." His eyes fall to the witness sketch on his desk of a grinning blonde brat with a pet fox. "I need to figure out this Uzumaki brat."

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In a dimly lit stone office, a gorgeous redhead in a blue dress hums as her eyes dart across three of her genin. "You've all done spectacularly. Your team brand new, but all of you prove incredibly talented, strong, and resourceful. The newly restored Kirigakure must prove it's strength and loyalty our new alliance, and I believe you can do so for us. Take the next two weeks to train and build your team dynamic before you leave. I wish you all the best of luck in Konoha."

"O-Of course, Mizukage-sama! I promise, I won't let you down!"

"Lighten up already, man. We got this."

"Indeed. Although I would not say victory is assured, knowing who three of our opponents are. I wonder if they'll be surprised I'm returning so soon?"

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A towering man of dark skin and raw muscle hefts weights as he sits behind his own cracked and battered desk. "A 3-way alliance? Damn you, Hiruzen. As shrewd as ever. Lend a hand to two struggling regimes and keep both in your pocket while you build them both up and keep your opposition split across the map. Even if I did work with that bastard Onoki, pincering them means nothing when they have an ally on each flank." He huffs and drops the weight, shaking the room. "We'll need our own display of power and a close eye on negotiations sure to proceed during the third round. Prepare my brother's students, Darui. They'll be going with you."

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"You know what you must do, Baki." The Kazekage hunches over his desk. "This is of the utmost importance. My son's status must go unnoticed. Keep him in line, blood-free save for the exam. When the time comes, unleash him. Prepare a sleeping genjutsu to ensure he can be put under when the time comes if doesn't agree." As he speaks, he passes a scroll to Baki. It's color coded in Kazekage blue, but the fresh ink stains his hands. A sign of a mission contradictory to what's stated, and enemies in the vicinity.

Baki nods as the cloth draped over half his face sways. The best part of such face coverings is surely that it's so much harder for others to notice nervous ticks that might give away how much this mission disturbs him. But it's his duty.

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Deep beneath the earth, a pale serpent snickers to himself as he feels the winds of fate change. Even in the depths of his tunnels and laboratories, an errant breeze nearly blows out a candle to his left. "Hoh? Interesting… Thank you for the update, Kabuto. Return to your post, before anyone notices you're missing." Without looking, he knows his servant has left, and his lab is empty once more. "Oh dear Sarutobi sensei… what brilliance have you cooked up now, you old fool? To think, you're setting the stage for a much more ambitious debut to my rule."

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Chapter 27: Home

Chapter Text

At the gates of Konoha, Izumo and Kotetsu sit in their usual guard booth, killing time with a game of Jenga while they wait for anyone to pass through. Izumo pokes Kotetsu's shoulder just as he's about to poke a piece out, distracting him and knocking the whole tower down. While he would normally be angry, his attention is drawn to the approaching troop of two elite jonin, six genin, a fox, and one surprise guest. Kotetsu calls out first. "Hey! I was wondering when you guys would get back! Everything go well?"

Kakashi hums. "Well, not entirely. We have much to discuss with the Hokage, but all in all, we came out of it alright."

Izumo raises an eyebrow. "Ok, was this better, or worse than Nami?"

Yoko snorts. "I would definitely say worse."

Izumo's jaw drops, and soon, Naruto starts to laugh maniacally. "I told you they'd freak out! We're gonna have so much fun abusing this!"

Yoko huffs. "So glad my sudden sentience amuses you, Naruto-nii. We'll have to see what tou-san thinks when he finds out." This shuts Naruto up right away, but Sakura and Fuu giggle at his expense.

"W-Well, um…" Kotetsu shakes it off first. "We'll need to log this new visitor you're escorting as well. Name, affiliations, fingerprints, rank, and so-on."

Fuu shrugs and steps up to place her fingerprints. "Fuu, no family name, Takigakure's jinchuuriki of the Nanabi, here as part of a proposal by our chief in the wake of an incident that just occurred there."

Izumo almost drops his pen. "A-Another jinchuuruki, here?"

Naruto grins and waves. "I had to bring my newfound sister home, ya know? Besides, her old home just got trashed, she needs somewhere to crash." Fuu giggles a bit, seeming a bit flustered at the "sister" title.

Shikamaru groans and rubs his temples. "Naruto, that is a gross oversimplification, and I swear you're going to get us swarmed by anbu."

"Nah, the anbu are all afraid of Anko, and she'll find whoever messed with me to make them play with her favorite snakes."

"He's right." Asuma cuts in. "Most anbu have fear trained out of them, but Anko still scared them. As long as she's still dating Iruka, Naruto's not getting touched by any of them."

Ino's jaw drops as she looks to Naruto. "Your dad is dating that sad*st?"

"To be frank, I'm quite sure she's a sadomasoch*st, and she has a thing for teachers."

Asuma nearly drops his cigarette. "... The worst part is how much sense that makes."

"Naruto." Chouji turns and stares at him. "Can you stop before you ruin my appetite?"

"Yep!" Naruto turns and crosses his arms behind his head. "Welp, let's get moving, guys! We've got an old man to torment with our report!"

As most everyone leaves, Sasuke stays behind and just stares at their backs for a moment. Izumo leans over to whisper to him. "Having much luck staying sane with your team?"

He shrugs. "I think I checked sanity at the door a long time ago. But Naruto's sort of making me miss it."

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Across the village, Hinata stands in her family's garden, training her eyes and accuracy of long-range vision. The ranged possibilities of her two elements stuck her as something too grand to not take advantage of. So now, she's had her usual attendant, Ko, hide small targets at the edge of her current field of vision, challenged to find them all and focus the blurred fringes enough to notice them.

Thus far, she's managed to find 14 of 30 in a matter of half an hour, and the rate at which she finds them is growing faster. At this rate, she expects to finish in another twenty minutes at worst.

That is, until she catches sight of some mint-haired girl all over Naruto as teams 7 and 10 make their way back to the tower. She's slung herself over his shoulders, and he's laughing along with whatever tale she's telling. She hasn't gotten lip reading down, and especially can't perform it at this distance, but her sparking anger causes her to focus just a tad faster and notice another seven targets in the process. She picks out the others within the next five minutes to go meet them at the gates as they pass.

"So then, I had to hide in the tree for five days, and somehow got adopted by a bee colony!" Naruto and Fuu break into helpless laughter, while Kakashi can't help but chuckle a bit in unison and Chouji almost chokes on his chips.

But everyone comes to a sudden stop as the front doors of the Hyuuga compound open ahead of them and Hinata steps out with a sickly-sweet smile. "Welcome home, Naruto-kun! Team Seven, Team Ten, I see you're both doing well! So, who's this new girl, then?"

Kakashi pales a bit at the sudden yandere energy Hinata's putting off, as do the two girls of the team, but Naruto seems completely oblivious. "Oh, hey, Hinata-chan! This is Fuu, we just brought her here from Taki! Long story short, something big went down there and she's here to set up an ambassadorship deal with Jiji!" He grins ear to ear through the whole explanation, but pauses and peeks around as his smile drops. "O-Oh, and um… everyone here kinda… knows about me now. And Fuu's… well, she's like me."

Kakashi's face falls as he turns to stare at his oblivious student. "Naruto, you never told me Hinata knew about your seal."

Naruto shrugs. "Hey, she figured it out herself. Hard to get anything past those eyes." He chuckles, and Hinata turns red, all her former rage sinking away.

"O-Oh, um... So Fuu is…"

Fuu sighs and nods. "Yep. Taki's jinchuuriki. It's nice to meet someone Naruto trusts to know, though." Her perpetual grin gets a tad gentler and more genuine. "Thanks for being so good to my brother."

Hinata has to fight not to sigh in relief at the word 'brother'. "W-Well, I've always thought the best of him. And I think no less of you for your status, Fuu. You're more than welcome here."

Fuu giggles a bit, starting to blush slightly herself. "W-Wow, gonna take a while to get used to that. Well, we should get going, the Hokage's waiting for us, and we've got a lot to report."

"If Taki's offering their jinchuuriki to us, I'd imagine so." All eyes fall on Hiashi as he approaches. "Your home must be in dire straits. I'm deeply sorry for whatever losses you've had."

Fuu sighs and hangs her head. "Well, knowing what I am, I'm sure you can guess I didn't lose much that mattered to me. A fresh start here is exactly what I need, and I'm sure Chief Shibuki knows that."

"I've met Shibuki. Quite experienced in politics for one so young. A mind to be admired. Working personal motivations into a favorable political move is difficult to achieve, but I believe when working with our Hokage, he knows his chances are higher than most anywhere else. The man is quite generous, and just as shrewd in regard to lacing deals and actions with secondary motivations, though his age provides a wealth of experience to improve upon it." He hums and peeks across the team. "Speaking of shrewd politics, I surmise the mission was largely a success?"

Shikamaru smirks. "Sir, Iwa is going to be eating out of our hands, and we even got the Tsuchikage's own granddaughter helping us. She seems just as gung-ho on the whole kage deal as the orange nimrod here, and peaceful to boot."

"Oi!"

Hiashi can't help but chuckle. "Now that's promising. Onoki must be fuming over it all."

Asuma blows some smoke straight up to keep away from company. "Yeah, probably. He's always been a sore loser."

Hinata giggles. "Naruto-kun, you seem well on your way to building a political record to support your rise to Hokage. First Nami no Kuni, now this deal with Kiri and showing it off to Iwa, there's no telling what you'll do next."

Sasuke snorts. "Probably convince Iwa and Kumo into a peace treaty and start some kind of exchange program that doubles as a mutual hostage situation." All eyes turn on Sasuke, and he peeks around in confusion. "What?"

Naruto's maniacal giggling the moment after is all the answer he needs.

Yoko sighs. "Sasuke, you really need to learn not to give him ideas."

Hinata's jaw drops. "Y-Yoko?"

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Hiruzen rubs the bridge of his nose. "Two missions, Naruto. Two missions out of town, and you already encounter and combat two A-Rank shinobi, alter the political landscape, and somehow create an entirely new summon species."

"He is quite the preposterous dumbass, isn't he?" Yoko mumbles with a yawn as she lays across Hiruzen's desk, accepting a slow petting.

"Umm…" Naruto somehow manages to be sheepish, despite the pride swelling in his from such achievement. "When you put it that way…"

"You're an avatar of chaos, Naruto." Ino huffs.

Suddenly, Naruto's eyes go red and he turns on Ino with widened whiskers and blackened lips. "No, that would be me, Yamanaka."

Ino shrieks "Damnit Kyuubi, stop doing that!"

Kurama just chuckles to himself before his features recede and Naruto picks up where he left off with evil cackling. Yoko chuckles in approval of her father's antics.

Hiruzen raises an eyebrow, but shakes it off. "Well, glad to see him being friendly. And honestly, don't apologize for your excellent progress. You're giving me a heart attack with how much danger you're getting into, but I've been waiting for a wild card like you for a long time. Just expect I'll be keeping you up my sleeve for quite a lot."

"Just be sure to play me when it'll f*ck with the most heads."

"Oh, certainly."

"That being said.." Kakashi cuts in. "I think we should address a few things. First and foremost, the status of Takigakure and Fuu."

Hiruzen nods and he looks the girl over. "... Your ambassadorship is accepted, and I'll be sending a contingency of chuunin and jonin there to assist, as well as an anbu from my personal guard. You'll be given dual citizenship and a new headband that depicts both villages. I can provide you an apartment, but it may take until tomorrow to secure a location. I believe for your first night here, you may have to stay in a hotel, unless you can manage other arrangements."

Fuu's eyes slowly light up as she hears his judgement. "R-Really?! I get to stay?!"

"Of course, dear." His smile is as familial and comforting as can be. "Welcome to Konohagakure."

She cheers and jumps, suddenly growing her wings and flying circles around the office. Hiruzen merely chuckles as he savors his pipe for a moment. Naruto leaps up and grabs her hands as she passes, letting her carry him around the room, only to then throw him into a sofa along the south wall and crash into it beside him a moment later. Yoko jumps up to join them, laying across Fuu's lap.

Sakura's eye twitches. "Great. Now there's two reckless idiots."

Asuma shrugs. "Tends to happen when you heal from most wounds overnight."

She pauses and narrows her eyes. "... That makes way too much sense."

Hiruzen clears his throat. "Now, all students are dismissed. Fuu, here's a check and my orders for your boarding at my establishment of your choice." He throws the envelope like a shuriken and she catches it with ease. "Go with the genin and explore the town a bit. Enjoy your first day in your new home."

"Hai!" She giggles and chases after Naruto as he waits for her at the door.

Once they've left, Kakashi turns to Hiruzen with a narrowed eye. "You're sending Tenzo?"

"Given what Naruto had to report regarding the tree and Hero Water, I believe it best that Tenzo take a look for himself and come closer to the roots of his bloodline. It's an advantage we absolutely must take."

Kakashi nods. "Of course. Well, I need to have a drink with him before he leaves, then." He peeks over to a blank spot on the wall. "How's that sound, Tenzo?"

An anbu slowly sinks out of the wall halfway and removed his mask. "I'd be delighted, Kakashi-sempai. I was just thinking the same thing as I heard the Hokage's intentions."

"Well, that's good and all.." Asuma puffs out another ring of smoke. "But now we've got something else to worry about. Someone who apparently took the secrets of the Hero Water, a sample, a heart affected by it, and wields a forbidden jutsu that's been lost to Takigakure. Someone who's seen as an old ghost story there, come to life." He taps the ashes off into a dish by the door. "Reminds me of something you once mentioned from the Shodaime's old journals."

"Indeed." Hiruzen sighs. "It would appear that Kakuzu may still be alive through whatever horrendous forbidden technique he's altered himself with. The sort of thing my wayward student would surely covet."

Kakashi nods. "And given what Jiraiya had to say about Akatsuki, we can likely bet on him being part of that organization. Few men would dare take on a biju. Someone who dared to fight the greatest kage to ever live would most assuredly qualify."

"Then my latest gambit grows twofold." Hiruzen leans over the table. "We unify the nations and villages during the upcoming chuunin exams, under a single flag against this organization to prevent their horrendous schemes. United, S-rank or not, they will either cower or fall."

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"So…" Naruto wanders back into the town with Fuu at his side. "Watcha think of the place so far? Lot brighter than your old home, for one."

She nods. "I'll get used to that. That big open sky, though…" She slowly grins. "I'm gonna be flying through that all day as soon as I have my new headband."

"Damn, wish I could join you. It's gonna take forever for me to find a way to fly, even with wind chakra."

"Eh, you're smart, I'm sure you'll figure it out." She pats his shoulder. "For now, lemme have this and be better than you at one thing, at least."

Naruto sticks his tongue out at her, but pauses as he sees someone ahead at his favorite place in the world. That bring a huge grin as he takes her hand and starts running. "I've got a few people to introduce you to!"

"Nii-san…" Yoko huffs. "Learn how to handle a girl, you buffoon."

Once they're less than a block away from Ichiraku's, Naruto calls out. "TOU-SAN! We're back!"

Iruka almost spits out his ramen, but gulps it down and jumps up to greet his son with a hug. "Otouto, welcome home!" Naruto leaps into his arms as he lets go of Fuu, pulling him into an almost painfully tight hug. "It's so good to see you… I suppose the mission went well?"

Naruto nods as he lets go and steps back. "More than well. I'll tell you more later, but the most important part…" He steps aside and waves Fuu over. "Dad, this is Fuu. Fuu, this is my dad, Umino Iruka."

Fuu approaches a tad nervously. "Um.. h-hello, sir. I'm Fuu, newly-instated ambassador of Takigakure, and... " She takes a moment to peek around and be sure nobody else will hear. ".. A-And jinchuuriki of the Nanabi, Choumei."

Iruka's eyes widen for a moment, but his slacked jaw rises into a fatherly smile. "Welcome to Konoha, Fuu. Naruto and I will make sure your time here is pleasant. In fact, you're welcome to stay with us if you'd like. I still have an empty room I was considering making an office, but…" he shrugs. "I'm doing less work for the academy lately."

"W-What?!" Fuu pulls back. "But… a-are you serious? You want me in your home?"

Naruto chuckles and pats her shoulder. "You'll get used to it. He wanted me, didn't he? And we're practically siblings."

"Hmm." Yoko mumbles from her perch in a seat just behind Iruka. "Something tells me home is about to get a lot louder."

Iruka wheels around and falls over at the sight of her so large and talking. "W-What the fu-uuu-!" He lands at Naruto's feet to find his own son laughing his ass off at him.

Yoko gets a co*cky grin of her own after. "You know, this really is fun."

Teuchi grumbles. "Yoko, if you're gonna start getting this much bigger and scaring customers away by talking, you're gonna have to pay for your meals here now."

"Damnit."

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A.N.: Evening, everyone. Sorry I took so long! had a lot going on, another fic in the words, speedpaints for youtube, and a busier dayjob schedule. But I am so looking forward to the next arc, and the next few months in general! Picking up Psychonauts 2 on Wednesday, and can't wait to play it for the channel! But enough of that. For now, feel free to speculate- but I doubt any of you will see what all I have coming for the exams...

Chapter 28: Bonds Forged

Chapter Text

"Ya know…" Fuu stares at the ceiling of Naruto's room from the cot they set up for her. "I really think I'm gonna love it here. Your friends are pretty great people, Naruto."

"Well, most of them." He slowly grins. "Kiba's kind of an asshole."

Yoko yawns. "I believe Sasuke trumps him by far. Though I do wonder why Akamaru puts up with his antics."

Naruto shrugs. "They were raised together. They may not be the same species, but they're siblings regardless."

She hums. "Well, that's certainly a concept I can grasp, Naruto-nii. I suppose I deal with equal levels of idiocy from you."

"Oy."

Fuu giggles a bit. "So this is what it's like to have a family, huh?"

Naruto's smile slowly fades. "Hmm… I guess it's common practice for jinchuuriki to be orphans, huh?"

She nods solemnly. "From what Chomei's told me, yeah. It's pretty well-known among those familiar with them that the life of a jinchuuriki tends to suck, and be alienated. So it's better to pick someone who has no attachments to lose."

Naruto grumbles. "Makes sense, but doesn't mean it isn't horsesh*t."

"Yeah... but hey." She peeks up to him with a smile. "I've got you, you've got a family now, and great friends… We're breaking that trend."

Naruto slowly smiles and nods as he peeks out the window to the glow of the crescent moon, thin and sharp in the night sky. "Yeah… let's be sure to help others if we meet them."

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Deep beneath the earth, among the decay of the earliest foundations of the village, lies the roots and burrowing snakes. A great white snake approaches the mightiest of roots with a gleeful chuckle. "Danzo, my dear old friend. I hear things are getting quite interesting in your neck of the woods."

Danzo hums as he turns to face Orochimaru. "Interesting is certainly a word for it. At risk of sounding like the damnable Naras, I'd say troublesome is more accurate."

"Oh, certainly." His grin widens. "I hear the latest generation is quite something. Changing the world already! A new jinchuuruki among your ranks, talented youngsters who can conquer Jonin like none since Itachi, including his own little brother, and some remarkable political plays employed by your old rival." He hums. "As much as I despise my old sensei, I must admit I haven't seen him be so bold in many decades. It's inspiring!"

"And that boldness risks drawing enemies straight through our gates in the guise of a peace treaty that will never work. Bold is something I can respect, the means do not produce a functional end." Danzo growls. "He must be dealt with, and I believe with the right sequence of actions, we may be able to crush the opposition in the same move as weeding out the weakest and most detrimental of Konoha's people."

"Ah, I see…" Orochimaru slowly pulls a kunai from his sleeve and traces the edge. "A truce to assist me in removing the greatest thorn from your side so you may conquer in his place. Information and safe passage into the village to do your dirty work I already planned to do, in return for free passage out and into safety."

Danzo nods. "Precisely. But that is not to say you will not be one of my largest targets in the aftermath, when I have secured my position."

"Oh, I would never presume otherwise. But I believe we should seal the deal to ensure that ends are met, hm?" He performs a small set of handsigns and bites his hand before reaching out. "I believe an assassination professional like yourself is familiar with the Sōjasōsai no Jutsu? I've created a variation that ensures that it's fatal effects are placed within a seal that only triggers upon failing to meet the deal made at the moment of sealing. If either of us breaks our end, we'll promptly die. For as precarious a situation as this is, and the penchant for backstabbimg we're both so infamous for, I believe such a jutsu is the only logical course of action." He hums. "Simply perform the same set of seals I had, and our blood must meet in a handshake as we think of the conditions of the deal. So long as we are both thinking of the same conditions, the jutsu will complete, and seals will be placed. If our thoughts differ, we'll both be shocked, and have to try again. Or just fight to the death here and now, if you prefer…" He chuckles.

"Hmm.. a reasonable offer. Anyone less experienced in killswitch seals would be too wary to take it." He performs the jutsu and slices his hand before taking Orochimaru's. "The deal is struck. That blind monkey will be dead in just over a month and a half." Their blood melds together and splits between their two forearms, forming a seal of two coiled snakes biting one another's necks, before fading from view.

Orochimaru grins ear to ear, and Danzo almost suspects his jaw is about to dislocate like a real snake. "I do love a good business partner. I missed our meetings."

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Now having her new ambassadorship headband, Fuu wanders the village with a soft smile and a cheerful gait. It's an odd headband, having the Konoha symbol aimed down between the twin arrows of Taki, making a striking image that's managed to turn a few heads. Thankfully, Anbu have all been informed on the matter, so her safety is assured- not that Konoha citizens ever had a problem with visiting Taki nin anyway.

But just getting to explore a town without orders, without glares and fear, is liberating in ways she can't put to words. She can barely contain herself enough to not take flight! She was warned against doing that for now, anyway. In civilian spaces, at least. So for now, she explores the streets from the ground, slowly familiarizing herself with her new home.

It's a lot more colorful than she expected. Taki was always muted with green, and the constant shade of the canopy. Most brighter colors were beneath the water, but still darkened and muted. Here though, buildings tower above with roofs and paint jobs of every color she can name and them some.

The variety of smells wafting through the streets makes her hungrier than she can stand, and she almost makes a bee line for Ichiraku's, before she spots a familiar face headed into a nearby barbecue joint with her team. "Hey, Hinata!"

Hinata turns and waves back, all the misplaced rage from yesterday long-gone. "Fuu! What brings you out here alone?"

Fuu almost skips up to her. "Well, I got my new headband, so I'm trying to get used to the town without Naruto dragging me around. Find a few places of my own, ya know?"

"Of course! Well, let me introduce you to my team." She gestures to each of them in order. "This would be Inuzuka Kiba, and his ninken, Akamaru-"

"Yo! Thought I smelled a Taki nin nearby." Akamaru yaps in agreement. "But I didn't expect such a looker."

Fuu sighs internally, one brow quirked with a tilted half-smile.

"Shino Aburame-"

He bows his head. "A pleasure, miss. My kikaichu have been quite excited by your approach." He waves his hand a bit, and some of the bugs are on it and quite jittery at the moment.

"And our sensei, Yuuhi Kurenai."

"It's great to see you, Fuu." She smiles softly. "I believe we met when I last came to Taki, last year. Even then, I was quite envious of your flight."

"Oh!" Fuu giggles. "Yes, I remember you! Always loved your fashion sense. You're gonna have to give me a few pointers! Honestly can't decide whose I like more, you or Anko."

She rolls her eyes a bit. "Well, try not to be too much like her. So, would you like to join us for lunch? We just got done with an early mission, and jonin sensei get discounts for anyone at their table."

Her eyes widen. "That's amazing. Ok, I'm in!" She jumps to join them. "I was hoping to get to know Naruto-nii's friends better, anyway."

Kurenai raises an eyebrow as she leads the way in. "Naruto-nii?"

She freezes up. "O-Oh, um… right… he and I, uh… we have a few pretty critical things in common, so it's kind of hard not to see him as a brother…"

Hinata sighs, patting her shoulder. "It's fine, you don't need to say. I sort of already know, about Naruto too, so…"

Kiba cuts in. "Oh, this about the giant furry bastard?" Everyone stops in their tracks and stares at him. "... What? I'm not that stupid. He's smelled like fox to me all my life, long before Yoko, and I'm close enough to the guy to remember his birthday. We all know what happened then." He points at Shino. "And with his kikaichu, he probably figured it out a few days after we all met."

Shino clears his throat and adjusts his glasses. "I suppose I should adjust my assessments of your attentiveness. You're most certainly correct, Kiba. Although you're being quite careless about speaking of it."

He shrugs. "Eh, we're all friends, and hey." He smirks at Shino. "You've been struggling to keep your kikaichu in check since she got here yesterday, and that hasn't happened since you met Naruto and they kept trying to drink from him."

Shino grumbles. "So many fools lost in attempts to drink a nectar far too potent for them."

Fuu sighs shakily. "Right… right, of course. You're all Naruto's friends, of course you're ok with it. I guess you should know, uh…" She giggles nervously. "I happen to hold Number 7, Choumei."

Kurenai hums thoughtfully. "Well, that explains a lot, then. Asuma told me things got pretty bad over there."

She nods and crosses her arms. "I… don't really mind, though. Most people we lost were assholes, and I get to stay here now, so…"

Hinata takes her hand. "I'm sure you'll be fine here."

Akamaru yaps , his tail causing Kiba's hood to shift constantly.

Shino nods, but flinches as a kikaichu flies off and lands on Fuu's arm. She hums and peeks down to it. "Oh! Hi, little guy. Wow, you really love my chakra, don't you?" She reaches down to it and lets it climb onto her finger.

"That is…" Shino steps a bit closer. "Peculiar. They've been practically worshipping your tenant since you arrived, and somehow, sampling it hasn't killed them." A few more buzz free to get a taste from her.

Fuu giggles as they crawl on her. "W-Well, Choumei likes them, and apparently considers them family! She had a little to do with the foundations of kikaichu's development, so her chakra is a lot more palatable to them than her siblings'."

"Hm." Shino recalls the ones who've had their fill. "That actually explains a lot. Do you think you may be willing to converse with my father about this later? As Clan Head, discovering more regarding the kikaichu's origins would be invaluable to him and the clan as a whole."

"Of course! Besides, thanks to Choumei, I've always had a thing for bugs, and it's so hard to find people to talk to about that!"

Shino smirks. "Well, I'm sure my clan will adore you."

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"Ok, this is a bit odd." Kakashi sits beside Naruto, having a meal at Ichuraku's, while Naruto has some striking additional features, including darkened lips, widened whiskers, and red eyes. "Wouldn't have thought you'd have much of an appetite for this."

"Ugh…" Kurama sighs and sets his bowl down. "I didn't think so either, but Naruto insisted I try eating while possessing him, and here we are. So many intricacies of the palate that aren't translating through the seal! Before, all I could taste was the salt, but the savory thickness of the broth, the tender pork, the flawless texture of the noodles! Now I see why the brat and his mother were so obsessed with this place!"

Teuchi hums thoughtfully, yet grimly as he watches Kurama scarf down a second bowl. "Well.. customer's a customer, and if the kid trusts ya…"

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Across the village, Sasuke sits on the outskirts of his clan's training yard, guzzling down a bottle of water. It runs out a bit quickly for his taste, but before he can get up for another, Asuma hands him one. He grumbles and takes it somewhat reluctantly. "Good work today, Sasuke. Your kenjutsu is improving fast." He hums. "As is your fire jutsu you're working on. Just try to keep more water on hand, you of all people should know fire jutsu practice dries you out fast."

Sasuke huffs. "Of course I know. I just had a lot on my mind when I came out here."

"Let me guess…" He takes a seat. "A lot to do with that fight back in Taki?"

He nods. "My lightning jutsu should have had a bigger effect on him."

"Yeah, literally hemorrhaging water, woulda made sense. But sadly, senjutsu pushes that logic aside. He was on such a high level that none of us stood a chance solo. Naruto only finished him because he was on his last legs. Autopsy made it pretty clear he was more clay than man before Naruto baked him."

He growls. "That wind and fire collaboration jutsu was intense. Guess he doesn't need me for that anymore."

"I wouldn't say that." Asuma shrugs. "Yoko's fire jutsu wasn't that strong. If it were your fireball instead, it would have been at least three times hotter."

Sasuke peeks up. "... Well, that's something. Just flashy, then." He huffs and stands. "So, about spreading Moeruken no Jutsu further up my arms and legs. I know my current clothes can't exactly handle that. Your gear's made more fireproof, right? Some old Sarutobi clan technique. I know my clan had it as well, but I'm no good at recreating it, and the clothes left with it applied aren't my size yet."

Asuma hums and nods. "Yeah, should be easy. I'll need you to meet with one of our clan tailors. I'll cover it for ya."

"No, I can pay for it-"

"Look, if you're gonna insist on payment, how about a trade?" He sighs, knowing Sasuke's too stubborn to just accept kindness. "Let me take a look in your clan's armory. I know they've got some pretty unique stuff. Let me take something decent from there, and I'll cover the cost of any fireproofed clothes equal to the value of what I get from the armory. Deal?"

He pauses, but nods and pushes himself up to lead the way. "Sure. I've got no use for most of it, and we have some that I think were won off members of your clan before the village anyway."

Asuma watches Sasuke closely on the way. He seems less tense, just a little more open, but it's not much when his heart appears shut behind a few hundred locks. But it's something.

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"I must apologize for my teammate's forwardness earlier." Shino adjusts his glasses as he leads the way into the village's wooded outskirts, towards his clan's compound. "Kiba can be… a handful."

"So I noticed." Fuu sighs. "How long do you think it'll take him to realize he's barking up the wrong tree?"

"He'll likely keep barking until he sees you with someone else. I may know someone who can help you with that, but her methods can be… hectic, manipulative, and a tad too direct."

She slowly grins. "Oh, you mean Ino? Yeah, she's pretty great. But uh…" She bites her lip. "I'm not sure she's interested in…"

"Oh, she is. I think she's just having trouble coming to terms with it. She got caught up a bit too deeply in the fangirl community for some time."

Fuu cringes. "Oof, yeah, I can see that. Well, maybe I can help her break out of that shell?"

"Someone should help her with it, surely. Honestly, all the overthinking people do about their preferences just irks me. There are much more important things to put that mental capacity towards. Just accept you're not what your closed-minded ancestors agreed with, and move on." He shrugs. "But, I've apparently developed some kind of mental aberration and the average person doesn't follow logic."

"Eh, people are weird. Not exactly the strict logic type, but if ya ask me, it's better to just swing with what feels right and ignore the assholes who say otherwise."

"Despite the phrasing, I'd say there's more logic to that than you realize."

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Sakura lays beside Ino at the Yamanaka compound, staring at the ceiling. "You really think we've a chance in these exams coming up?"

Ino shrugs. "I dunno. I mean, we did just kinda save Taki from a coup. I'd say that's up there with what to expect from the exam at it's worst. And we've got time to train yet."

"... If I end up passing before you… can you promise you won't get mad at me?"

Ino rolls to face her. "Of course I won't! You deserve that spot, and if I don't win it, I either don't deserve it yet, or it was just bad luck. Even if we end up against each other in the tournament, I want you to promise me you'll give it your all."

Sakura slowly turns to her with a smile. "Yeah… I can do that. Just don't get mad if I beat you a bit too hard!"

"Bring it on!" Ino throws her arms up. "I'll destroy you! I've got the elemental advantage!"

"Yeah, but that means nothing if you don't have the skill to back it up."

"I'll beat your ass right now, Sakura!"

"Really?" She smirks. "I bet you mean that literally."

Ino's jaw drops and she turns crimson. "W… W-What the hell?! C-Come on, you gotta stop that sh*t!"

"Not until you finally ask someone out and stop hitting on me for practice."

"B-Bite me!"

"Not my type."

"AAAAAAGH!"

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A.N.: Well, here we are. A nice, cozy downtime chapter, introducing the latest cast member to a few people, and building to some pretty big interpersonal things I have planned. As for the exams, they're fast-approaching, and the new arrivals will make things so much more interesting this time…

Also, you can all find a new Speedpaint of Akiyama Hibiki, one of my two OCs from Kurotsuchi's tea, over on my youtube channel tomorrow! For FF net readers, you'll have to find it by manual search, sorry! For AO3 users, you can find the link in my profile!

Chapter 29: Family Reunion

Chapter Text

Naruto raises his head and stares off to the west, ignoring the dango he'd been sharing with Fuu. He may largely prefer ramen, but you don't live with Anko for months and not develop an appreciation for the stuff, and Fuu had a thing for sweets.

It takes a moment for him to realize Fuu's been drawn to what he's feeling too. A moment later, they're both drawn to the northeast. "Hmm… you feel it too, huh?"

Fuu nods and holds out her fist for Naruto. He bumps it, and they're instantly drawn into the mindscape.

"Well, this should make for an eventful exam season." Kurama chuckles.

Choumei buzzes and jitters in excitement. "So many siblings coming! Although I'm… wary of one of them."

Naruto peeks back to Kurama. "Well, if one's coming from the west, that's gonna have to be Shukaku, right? I can feel his wind and earth chakra, too, but there's something… off about it. It reminds me of the tree…"

Kurama grumbles and facepalms. "Damnit, he's been experimenting with senjutsu seals again. Last time, he was too crazy to remember us for a few decades."

Choumei hums. "It doesn't feel that bad this time, but his chakra is certainly… manic. Likely morally compromised."

Fuu whines. "Great, and probably has a jinchuuriki who's just as bad, then!"

Choumei giggles. "We can handle it. Shukaku likes me more than most of us. Naruto, you should watch out, he hates Kurama."

Naruto gulps nervously. "Wonderful. Ok, so how about the one coming from Kumo? There's two there, right? But I don't recognize any elements in their chakra signature."

Kurama perks up. "If that's the case, it can't be Gyuki, you share the earth element. So it must be Matatabi."

"The Nibi?" Naruto hums. "Ichi, Ni, Nana, and Kyuu all in one place for these exams." All four of them perk up as another sensation washes over them. "Um… just felt more earth coming from Iwa's direction. Kokuo's just fire and water, right? So it must be Son Goku."

"Indeed. Definitely one of the more agreeable siblings." Kurama chuckles. "Might want to tell the other old ape Roshi's coming."

"Can do. For now though, we should finish up here. I've gotta stop by the Hyuuga compound to ask Hiashi and Hinata a few things."

"Ooooh?" Fuu smirks. "More time with her, huh? You might wanna bring her something."

Naruto turns red and looks away. "R-Right, uh… good idea. Something for Hiashi to get on his good side while I'm at it. Hinata said there was a tea blend they sold here that he really likes."

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"Now, what did we learn?" Asuma stands over Sasuke with a co*cky smirk.

Sasuke at the moment is hunched, panting, steaming, and coughing up a bit of smoke. "D-Don't… put too much of that new jutsu near my f-face."

"There's a reason nobody's done it before. You've gotta get really damn good at holding your breath to go with a move like that. Or have some sort of backup mechanism, but carrying an oxygen tank at the same time is a terrible idea."

Sasuke pauses, then crosses his arms as something starts sinking in.

Kurenai hums as she watches from atop a nearby awning over the compound's outer halls. "Oh, I know that look. Got a trick in mind to make this absolutely broken, don't you?"

"More than that. I think I can make something that'll make this jutsu busted and make my others even stronger, if I can do it right."

Asuma hums and scratches his chin. "I think I can see where you're going with that. You'll need to be really careful with it, though. Test the flow first without putting it in your head."

"Obviously. I'll need to talk to Naruto about it, though. And maybe an iryonin."

"For now though…" Kurenai jumps down from her perch and lands beside them. "I think you need a break after almost toasting yourself. Why don't you join us for lunch?"

Sasuke pauses and looks them both over. "... You really want me as a third wheel on one of your dates?"

Asuma shakes his head. "Not a date this time. We're just both proud of you, and wanna reward you for all the effort you've put into this. Besides, we had an offer for you."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow and peeks between them. They both notice him shoving his hands back in his pockets. He does that a lot less nowadays, and it's clearly become a sign of him being uncertain and caught up in his more negative thoughts. "What would that be?"

Kurenai sighs and slowly smiles as she pulls a ring from her kunai pouch and slips it on. "We were hoping you'd be one of the groomsmen for our wedding."

Sasuke's jaw drops. "What? You… wow." He huffs and slowly, for once, forms a genuine smile. "Congratulations. You two definitely deserve this. But…" His smile fades. "You'd really want me of all people as a groomsman? I'm sure you have a lot of people you'd prefer to choose over me."

Asuma shakes his head. "Right now, my choices are you, Kakashi, Gai, Chiriku, and Shikaku."

"You chose Shikaku over Chouza because you know he won't refuse, but you wanna annoy him with the importance of the role, didn't you?"

Asuma smirks. "I can't confirm or deny that logic. The offer still stands, Sasuke. You're more than welcome up there with us."

He falls silent as he mulls it over. This is… not something he ever considered in his life. When thinking of his future, all he ever saw was blood and chaos and struggling to go after one particular man's head. The traitorous bastard who turned his clan against his village and forced his brother's hand.

Now, he sees potential for… more. For once, it's not all blood and loneliness. Here stand two people who've shown him more genuine care and affection than anyone since his mother, and surely a lot more than his father had ever shown. They want him to be a part of one of the biggest events of their lives, regardless of his grim outlook and constant social failings. It's not something he ever could have seen coming, but it sparks a new fire in him. One he can't quite fathom for a few moments.

He'd forgotten how it felt, after all this time.

"I… I'll do it. I'd be happy to be there for you two."

Kurenai steps up and pulls him into a tight hug. "Thank you, Sasuke. We can't tell you how much this means to us."

Asuma nods and sighs in relief. "Now… we're not just celebrating that. We just wanted you to know how welcome you are with us first. We've got one other surprise for you." He grins. "Yugao and Hayate got home with Hideki last night, and we're meeting with them. I know the boy's looking forward to seeing you again."

Sasuke's eyes widen for a moment, but he grins and chugs a bottle of water. Once done, he crushes it and tosses it cleanly into a nearby can. "Let's clean up and get moving then. Don't wanna keep them waiting, do we?" He walks off to bathe, while the two shinobi look to one another with a grin. They're getting through to him. There's genuine hope, in his eyes, his voice, his future. Maybe hope for much more soon, if he's so receptive to being a young groomsman.

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Sakura huffs as she stands in the middle of a tattered field of dirt and stone, her knuckles bruised and scraped. She arches her back to loosen it up, and amidst it popping a few times, she barely manages to hear Chouji approaching. "That was pretty awesome. You can't move as much earth as me yet, but your control is insane."

She chuckles and takes the bottle he offers. Rather than water, it's a potent organic fruit juice blend. The Akamichi clan has taken nutrition during training quite seriously for generations, something few would expect of a clan that's largely so hefty. Regardless, Sakura finds this a welcome change to her usual water binging. "Mmm… Well, it's good progress for today. I figure casting more and more of these jutsu in succession and pushing my limits is a good way to increase my chakra capacity. Now that I don't have much, I'll push my limits gently with some idle chakra exercises for the rest of the day."

Chouji hums. "That's a pretty good method. You thinkin sticking things to yourself all day?"

She nods and finishes her bottle off. "Yep. Not just leaves, though. I need it to be something with stakes, something to push me."

Chouji scratches his head as he thinks it over, then grins as it hits him. "Ok, this one's a little mean, but maybe Naruto's rubbing off on me. You can keep your headband really loosely tied, so it'd fall off any time, but there's something written on your forehead under it!"

Sakura freezes, but slowly develops a feral grin. "Ok. Good advice, and I'm gonna do it, but you can't tell me that wasn't inspired by Ino's insults."

"... Um… Ok, maybe it was, but come on, I'm around her constantly anymore."

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The front doors of the Hyuuga compound are oddly simplistic, an old-fashioned sort of ornate, but the more he looked at them, the more Naruto realized there was more to it. Those doors surely hosted a wide variety of security seals, written beneath the paint, or even carved in and filled with paint until it looked smooth.

He's broken out of his musings as they open and the familiar, friendly face of the Hyuuga heiress greets him. "N-Naruto-kun, it's a pleasure to have you here! And you as well, Yoko."

Yoko bows and trots over for some petting, which Hinata gladly gives. Naruto chuckles and raises a bag he brought. "Well, to thank you and your father, I made sure to pick up a few things. An order of your favorite cinnamon buns, and the ginseng your dad was looking for."

"O-Oh!" Hinata stares in shock. "That's... incredibly thoughtful, Naruto-kun.: She peeks around for a moment, but sighs and smiles. "You sealed the buns to keep them hot, didn't you?"

"You know it!" He holds up a small seal. "I'm definitely doing this with prepared meals for missions. Imagine being out camping for a mission, open a seal, and there's a piping hot bowl from Ichiraku's in your lap, a hundred miles from Konoha!"

"Ah, I was wondering when you would pick up on that application." Naruto jumps and wheels around to face Hiashi, approaching from outside the gates. "It's quite useful, I've taken to doing so myself on the occasion I take up a mission. And when it comes to food on the go, I must admit, Ichiraku's is a good choice. Not the healthiest, but certainly a step above standard ration bars." He cringes. "Anything to avoid those abominations."

Hinata quickly bows. "Welcome home, tou-san."

Naruto chuckles as he calms down from the ambush. "Couldn't agree more. Ichiraku's may not be healthy, but it's just too delicious to avoid."

Hiashi hums. "Kushina would surely be proud to hear you say that. I wasn't surprised in the slightest when my daughter told me you'd taken her there."

Naruto's taken aback for a moment, his arms and forced cheeky grin dropping. "You… k-knew my mom?"

He hums and nods. "She and my late wife, Kyouko, were once good friends. Uzumaki Kushina was a fierce woman, a dangerous kunoichi with a temper that no shinobi in their right mind would stoke. Her potential was truly staggering. Admittedly, I see a lot of her in you."

Hinata can't help but slowly smile at this bonding moment.

"A bit too much in some cases. You certainly got her impulsiveness, temper, and manners." He smirks. "But nobody's perfect."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "... Ok, since you're Hinata's father, I'm gonna let that slide."

"Well, not as impulsive as I thought. Really though, you also got a lot of her best qualities, so you should surely be proud of that. If anything, she was always tenacious and creative."

Naruto slowly grins. "Now that certainly sounds like me. Well, you mind if I come in for a while? I have a few questions regarding remote seal triggers, and I know your clan's pretty good at it." His grin visibly twitches. He clearly doesn't like why they're so good at it. "I brought some of your favorite ginseng blend, if that helps."

Hinata peeks between the two of them, tense, but hopeful. When her father hums and smiles, she sighs in relief. "Of course you're welcome. I have a few pieces of advice to give, surely. Anything to assist in the rise of Konoha's next sealmaster. Not something you can ever have enough of, in my opinion. Your mother's clan certainly agreed with that."

"Oh, you wouldn't believe some of the stories Hokage-jiji's told me about them."

"I heard plenty from your mother, some of them were quite… colorful."

"The Spiral Springs Ink Spill Incident?"

"Ah, good, I would have done terribly retelling that one."

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.

"We got here so fast!" Hideki cheers and throws his arms up, almost slipping out of his booth at the restaurant Yugao and Hayate chose for this reunion. "Kaa-san even showed me how to unlock my chakra! I'm gonna be that fast one day!"

Kurenai giggles, and she's surprised to find Sasuke chuckling along with her. "Ya know brat, you just might get there, but don't expect catching up to Yugao to be easy. She's one of the fastest in our village, so you've got your work cut out for you there."

Yugao hums as she sips her soda. "Odd, I didn't think that was much of a public fact."

"Oh, well, I heard plenty from an inside source when I was younger." He shrugs. That leads the three adults at the table to pause, since they all know who that source is. "If he respected your speed, it's really gotta be something."

Eventually, she smirks and nods. "Well, he would certainly know."

"Sasuke…" His attention is drawn to Kurenai. "You were surprisingly comfortable saying that. I'm impressed… and proud."

He stares for a moment, but shakes it off and looks away. "Well, I've had some time to build a… fresh perspective. Maybe I'll explain it later. For now, we've gotta celebrate you getting here." He points his fork at Hideki. "So how's it feel to be the newest member of the Gekkō family?"

Hayate smirks, but has to suppress a cough before responding. "Be honest, Hideki. If there's anything wrong, we'll gladly work to fix it."

Hideki pauses and looks himself over, before peeking up to his new parents. Hayate first, then Yugao, and he can't stop the few tears that fall as his smile widens. "I-I couldn't be happier."

Sasuke hums and nods. "Good… cherish that."

Asuma and Kurenai share a look for a moment, knowing they don't have long to wait now. He's almost ready.

.

.

Nor far from the restaurant, two jinchuuriki and an heiress wait at the northern gate, as they feel the approach of a third. In the distance, they can see four figures slowly approaching. Soon enough, a genin squad arrives consisting of one platinum blond white boy with shoulder-length hair and blue eyes- if his hair were darker, Naruto would wonder if he were related to the Yamanaka clan- a black girl with spiky red hair and burning amber eyes, and a black boy with stark-white hair and a lolipop hanging loosely between his lips. The jonin escorting them is surprisingly young, another blonde woman with piercing eyes, full lips, and a conservative outfit with a thickly-padded and tight powder-blue vest.

As they approach, Hinata bows. "Welcome, shinobi of Kumogakure."

The one boy's lollipop nearly falls from his lips. "O-Oh, um.. Thank you? It's.. odd that the first person to greet us would be a Hyuuga. Doesn't your whole clan hate our guts?" He hunches a bit and his eyes lose focus. "If could be a trick to demoralize us in the exams, or sweet talk state secrets out of us, and we'll be executed or exi-"

He's silenced as the redhead donkey punches him. "Ugh… excuse Omoi, he overthinks everything. Thank you, Hyuuga-san. I'm Karui, my equally obnoxious teammate is Atsui-"

"Hey!"

"And our sensei is Nii Yugito."

Yugito bows just enough to be considered courteous, but also quite stern and guarded. "Thank you for welcoming us. It's a bit odd to be welcome by three genin though, I must admit. Especially a Hyuuga, let alone the heiress." Her squad freezes at the thought, having not recognized her as the very girl their former administration had tried to kidnap. Yugito ignores this and bows deeper to Hinata in particular. "I'm deeply sorry for my village's actions against your clan. Our former administration was ruthless, daring, and far too dishonorable. Our newest Raikage, the son of the man whose choices led to such hardship, extends his sincerest apologies, and would like to open communications for reparation."

Hinata's eyes slowly widen as each word sinks in, too stunned to speak until Naruto gently nudges her. "O… O-Of course. Thank you, Yugito-san. My father will surely be delighted to hear this."

Omoi sighs in relief. "Well, that's going to make these exams a lot less stressful."

"Oh, I wouldn't bet on that." Fuu giggles and jabs Naruto with her elbow. "This guy's gonna be pranking all the visitors to hell and back."

"Only the annoying ones. And the ones who're full of themselves." He smirks. "And the ones who talk sh*t about Ichiraku's."

Karui slowly grins. "Oh, I've gotta see how that turns out."

"We were here for one major thing ourselves, actually." Naruto cuts in. "This is gonna be so awesome." He chuckles and raises his fist to Yugito, and Fuu presses one side of her knuckles to Naruto's, leaving room for Yugito to fit in against them both. She stares in shock for a moment, as do her students, but they all get it quite quickly. Yugito pounds it with a smile, while her students watch on in awe.

"It's been far too long, Matatabi. You appear to be doing well, all things considered." Kurama hums.

Matatabi towers behind Yugito, burning blue as her yellow eyes pierce her company, but there's a playfulness in that gaze. "Kurama, Choumei, it's wonderful to see you both. I'm sorry I didn't sense you before, but so long in Kumo, dealing with Bee's ramblings and rapping through Gyuki's mindspace convinced me to ignore and almost sever that connection a long while ago."

"Well, that would explain a lot." Choumei giggles. "So Gyuki's jinchuuriki is that unique of a character?"

Yugito groans. "Like you wouldn't believe. But I must say, this is a reunion I didn't expect to witness." She grins and crosses her arms. "I was wondering what happened to you, Kurama. My whole village's administration has had it on their minds since you escaped Kushina."

Naruto grumbles. "State secret my ass. Next time I see that old monkey, he's getting glitter tags on every blade of his office's ceiling fan."

Fuu snorts and doubles over in laughter. "He's gonna be finding it in his paperwork and robes for weeks!"

"Nah, he'll just burn it all. Seen him do it already."

Yugito hums. "Well, now I get the feeling I'm gonna like it here."

Naruto chuckles. "Oh, wait until the other two get here. Shukaku's gonna be a problem, but I've heard so many stories about Roshi and Son Goku."

Yugito's smile falls. "Ok, now this is looking like an international incident in the making."

Kurama hums. "Maybe, but it won't be boring. We'll see what we can do about Shukaku, though. Naruto, isn't the toad supposed to be returning soon?"

Naruto nods. "Not until the month between the second round and the tournament, though. His insight into senjutsu should give us the edge to work around Shukaku's problem and maybe make a seal that can drain the natural energy from him and get him stable."

Yugito grumbles. "You must mean Jiraiya. Of course we have to rely on that old pervert… but, I suppose there's nobody better when it comes to senjutsu. Last known sage in the world, really."

"Eh, give me five years or so."

Matatabi grins. "Oh, I like this one."

"Back off, the brat's mine. I've waited almost seventy years for a jinchuuriki that keeps things this interesting."

Naruto can't help but chuckle at that. "Glad to help. Oh, by the way, Matatabi, I gotta ask… do you, uh, have any kids?"

She tilts her head. "An odd question, but considering where we are, I suppose you must have met one of my little hellkittens already. Which one was it?"

"Tora. She and I are on good terms, but she gives most shinobi in this village hell."

"Well, she's lasted a long time. If I ever needed any proof of our mortal offspring having extended lifespans, that would be it."

Yoko hums from atop Kurama's head, which nobody had noticed she was on just yet, save for Kurama himself. "Good to know. Maybe you won't lose me too soon, Naruto-nii."

"Kurama!" Matatabi scoffs. "You have a daughter, and didn't consider introducing us?"

"To be frank, I didn't know she could get into this mindspace. Color me impressed. Also, I wanted to see if any of you noticed the little interloper. Regardless, yes, this is Yoko, my daughter as of resuscitating her with my chakra a few weeks ago."

"Oh, you really went the unconventional way with it, hm? Then again, shouldn't have expected you to go about it the normal way."

"Not only does the act not please me, but the fact you had mortal feline children of such a diminutive scale with that method is a bit disturbing."

"Oh, that was simple, the hard part was staying shrunken for so long after until they were born. Compacting my chakra that much for so long takes a lot of focus. When I realized I wanted kids, I practically had to meditate for those few months to keep my form and heat under control."

Fuu giggles a bit. "Well, Choumei''s got some family here too. The bugs of the Aburame clan!"

Choumei chitters in excitement. "It's so good to be back with them!"

Naruto sighs contently. "Well, if you ask me, we're all family. We jinchuuriki gotta stick together. Right?"

Yugito turns to him with a gentle smile. "I couldn't agree more. I'm sure Bee and Gyuki would as well."

Finally, their hands come apart, and in the waking world, that whole conversation took a few mere seconds. All three of Yugito's escorted students know all too well what just happened, and Karui is the first to comment on it. "Holy sh*t."

Hinata pouts, feeling a bit left-out, but shakes it off with a smile. "The six of you have a nice chat?"

Yoko cuts in, with one of her tails wrapped around Naruto's leg. "Seven, actually. And yes, quite good."

Naruto grins ear-to-ear. "This exam season is gonna be so awesome." He waves and turns. "Now, the others are all arriving about now too, so let's get to the tower for check-in on the exams. I had a few things I wanted to talk to him about anyway."

Samui chuckles. "Oh, so you've got easy access to your kage too? Well… being what you are, I suppose that's to be expected. In our case, it's just because we're tight with his brother. He's our real sensei, but Raikage-sama doesn't let him leave very often."

The walk through Konoha to the tower is mostly uneventful. Spirits are high, discussions about expectations for the exam are plentiful, and more than a few dirty looks by civilians are caught by the Kumo shinobi. They know they're not the most welcome here, but when they see most of the glares are aimed Naruto's way, that only angers them more. They knew other villages didn't treat their jinchuuriki well, but to see it themselves…

But no glare can compare to what they find upon reaching the front doors of the tower. Here, they find the Sunagakure team and their sensei, with one short young man front and center, sporting red hair and a brighter red tattoo of the kanji for love on his forehead. But it's quite difficult to notice the kanji when compared the wild, almost feral look in his eyes. Barely restrained rage kept in check merely by his duty as a shinobi of Sunagakure. Naruto can feel that rage slowly home in one him in particular, and he only has one response.

He closes his eyes, and when they open, they've turned red. "Hello, brother. I see you're in an unsurprisingly foul mood."

.

.

A.N.: And the exam season begins... I wont lie to you. I've been gearing up for this for over a year, and I still don't know what all till happen. because I fully intend to make some of it a surprise even to me as we go! That's right. Some parts of the exam will be COMPLETELY RANDOM, and could have some truly devastating results! Oh, this is going to be almost too much fun...

Chapter 30: The Fox Says Too Much

Chapter Text

Gaara growls, a raspy, but guttural, choking sound. “They want your blood.”

Kurama chuckles. “Of course he does. He always does. But do you really want to try anything now? Not the smartest idea.” He huffs. “Well, the brat wants control again. I’ll speak with you later, when we can do so… privately.” He closes Naruto’s eyes and takes a deep breath, his features receding, as Naruto returns with his bright blue eyes. “Well, now that his introduction is out of the way, I’ll try to be a bit more civil. I’m Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage, all around sneaky badass, and jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Youko. This is Hyuuga Hinata, clan heiress and all around-cinnamon roll-” Hinata eeps. “And the competing squad from Kumo, consisting of Nii Yugito, Samui, Karui, and Omoi, the minty-haired nutcase is Fuu, and…” He points down to the fox seated at his heels. “This is Yoko.”

Temari and Kankurou are taken aback by just how forward with blonde numbskull is being with his status, and discovering their brother’s. Baki’s eyes slowly drift across them and up to Yugito. “Miss Nii.Pleasure to see you again. I hadn't heard you’d taken up a genin squad.”

“Oh, I haven’t.” She huffs. “They’re Bee’s kids.”

Baki cringes. “Ah… yes, that would explain it.” He sighs. “Well, I suppose I will introduce my squad. These are the Kazekage’s own children. Temari, Kankurou, and Gaara.” The two elder siblings bow, but Gaara remains upright and gritting his teeth. “Gaara, calm yourself. We must meet with the Hokage regarding our arrival, then we’ll find a hotel room so you may… meditate.”

“Oof, meditation.” Naruto cringes. “Most annoying part of jinchuuriki training. Well, I’ll accompany you all up, I’ve gotta talk to Hokage-jiji anyway.” He turns to Hinata. “You coming, or should we meet up again tomorrow for more fuuton training?”

“U-Um, tomorrow would be quite alright. I have a few errands I need to run. Just… try not to be too crazy up there, ok?” She smiles sweetly, but there’s clearly some stress barely masked by it. “Your Hokage career won’t happen if you cause a huge political mess this soon.” She giggles and she backs up with a bit of a skip in her step.

Naruto scoffs and mimics Ino, sticking his nose in the air. “I’d never! Unless someone deserved it and I could pin it on them.”

Omoi nearly drops his lollipop as he stares at Naruto. Samui only breaks into laughter, just to get slugged by Karui. Yugito has to resist the urge to facepalm.

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Hinata giggles. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then!” She takes off and has quite the skip in her step.

Naruto sighs and turns back to the tower. “Welp, I’ll lead ya up. I doubt we’ll get turned away, all showing up at once.”

“Hold up, hold up!” They turn to see another team with an escort just arriving, and Naruto grins at the sight of an old man in a straw hat that reminds him much of one of his favorite mission customers along with a team he’s already got a lot of experience with. Kurotsuchi slows to a stop with a wide grin. “I was wondering how long it’d take to find you in here. We saw Sasuke in our way in too, with Asuma.”

“Did he challenge Tetsuma to a kenjutsu duel?”

Testsuma huffs. “He won’t stand a chance, no idea why he bothered.”

“You’d be surprised.” He chuckles and peeks up to Kitsuchi. “Kitsuchi-san, good to see you.”

“Likewise, runt.”

“And Roshi, right?” He smirks as the man lowers his bottle of sake and hums. “Good to meet you, Yon. I’m Kyuu, you’ve already met Nii, and these are Nana and Ichi.”

Silence falls amongst the Iwa squad as those words set in, and Roshi lets out a weak, blubbering belch that snaps him out of it. “Damn, I don’t think there’s ever been so many of us in one place before. Is this legal?”

“We can ask the Hokage, I’m sure he’ll have something interesting to say when we all show up together, especially since he already knows about four of us.”

Roshi snorts. “Oh, that’s going to be fun. That, and he’ll be begging me to join him for a few drinks tonight after.” He steps ahead and leads, but Naruto goes ahead of him.

“Let me start us off, I gotta see the look on his face.” He chuckles and leads the way up, and nobody protests, seeing as he’s the one local involved in the matter. The secretary almost has a kniption at the sigh of the size of this foreign party, not to mention the high-profile faces among them. Upon reaching the door, he knocks in a signature set that alerts the Hokage to his specific presence, and he can hear the lock clicking just after. He waves for everyone to step back and heads in first. “Hey, jiji! Got a riddle for you.”

Hiruzen sighs and sits back from his paperwork as he takes a puff from his pipe. His unofficially adopted grandson’s presence brings a pleasant smile to his weathered face. “Go ahead, Naruto. I’m sure the titular Professor can solve it.”

“What has 28 legs and 24 tails?”

That makes his grin fade. “... Oh dear lord.”

That rips a laugh from Roshi as he steps through followed by everyone else. “That’s just the start of it, ya old bastard!”

His jaw drops further as everyone piles in, but he eventually shakes if off. “Well, I see where 23 of 24 tails are.” He hums. “Baki, I suppose one of your students hosts the Ichibi?”

Baki nods, and Gaara steps forth. “I am Subaku no Gaara, youngest son of the Yondaime Kazekage and host of Shukaku.”

“Also, his seal is really f*cked up.” Naruto cuts in, and all eyes turn on him. “I mean seriously, the old fox is telling me that sh*t is really shoddy work, he doesn’t even get sealing and he can feel the flaws just from how his brother’s chakra is flowing. It’s full of so many loopholes that it’s barely threaded together enough to be considered a knot.”

Hiruzen’s eyes narrow as he turns to Baki. “Is that so?”

Baki takes a deep breath to steel himself. “It is indeed. In fact, it’s something we intended to address here. Konoha’s sealmaster would surely be able to provide a suitable replacement in return for intel we’ve gathered for you.”

Hiruzen hums and nods. “I see… Very well. I’ll recall Jiraiya immediately. Thank you for being forthcoming with this, Baki.”

He bows. “Of course, Hokage-sama.” He uprights himself. “Regardless, it is… interesting to have such a large and eclectic collection of jinchuuriki under the same roof.”

Roshi finishes another swig. “Son says he hasn’t seen this many in one place since ‘that red-armored Senju brat decided to hunt them all down’, apparently.”

Naruto’s eyes flash to red again. “That would be right. As much as I despise the man, he was quite powerful and skilled to have done so, although he did need his wife’s help for the sealing itself.”

Temari’s eye twitches. “That’s… just creepy.”

Kurama huffs. “Bold of you to say so, brat. Bold enough for me to let it slide. Besides, I like being creepy. Weeds out the weaklings I want out of my presence.”

Temari scoffs, but shakes it off before looking to Hiruzen. “A-Are you sure his seal is more stable than my brother’s?”

“Oh, quite.” Hiruzen grins. “The Yondaime was very thorough. What you’re seeing is the result of proper camaraderie between jinchuuriki and biju. Others have succeeded with much the same.”

Roshi chuckles. “He’s right, I know Yugito and I can anyway.”

Fuu shrugs. “Choumei knows I’m uncomfortable with it because whenever she takes me over, she talks a mile a minute and makes me even more manic than I usually am.”

“Moving on…” Hiruzen cuts in. “Kitsuchi, it’s wonderful to see you here. How has your father been?”

“Looking to speak with you, actually.” He crosses his arms. “Has a lot to say about this new treaty you’re lining up with Kiri.”

“Well, what do you know?” Yugito huffs. “Raikage-sama’s thinking the same thing.”

Hiruzen grins and looks ro Naruto who chuckles and claps. “Hook, line…”

“Sinker…” Everyone turns to see Zabuza standing in the doorway. “I thought the fishing puns were supposed to be my village’s thing. Sup, brat?”

“Hey, I thought she’d send you!” Naruto grins ear-to-ear. “So, where’s Haku?”

“Right here, Naruto-kun.” She steps into view with a smile. “As is my squad.” Behind her, two more Kiri shinobi emerge.

One is a white-haired boy with bared, grinning shark teeth and a violet tank top. “Hozuki Suigetsu, at your service.”

“U-Um…” The next is a bashful boy with crew-cut silver-blue hair and a navy vest over a corduroy sweater. “I’m Chojuro. I-It’s a pleasure to be here, H-Hokage-sama.”

Hiruzen hums as he looks them over. “A fine team in such a short time, Zabuza. I see you decided to take on Mangetsu’s little brother.”

Suigetsu chuckles. “Of course you’d know. Yeah, that’s my bro. Don’t expect to stay in his shadow.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. And if it’s any consolation-”

He’s cut off by Suigetsu raising his hand. “Nope. I don’t blame Konoha for that night, that was the Sandaime Mizukage making a bad play and running into a monster that could use one of the sickest kinjutsu in the world. He knew what he was in for. A Shinobigatana Shichinin Shū knows they live and die by the blade. No point in seeking revenge for people doing their jobs.”

Kitsuchi raises her arms in exasperation. “Thank you! You’d think more of the shinobi populace would have that through their thick skulls. My village needs a reality check.”

Kitsuchi sighs and grumbles. “You’re right, but do you need to say it out loud around this many foreigners?”

“Hey, maybe it’ll get back to some of our spies and they’ll finally get the picture, a few of them will stop being dumbasses.”

Haku crosses her arms. “It’s quite difficult to be a stupid spy and live, though.”

“Oh, it’s not.” Hiruzen remarks. “We identify many spies and keep them around just to feed them false information. Quite amusing, really.”

Zabuza nods. “It’s true, every village does it, and it’s frankly hilarious.”

Naruto peeks up in awe. “Are you telling me every kage is in on one huge series of professional level pranks against each other, and it’s actually part of the job description?”

Roshi almost spits up his sake in laughter. “Holy sh*t, you’re training the most twisted kage the world’s ever gonna see.”

“Oh, you haven’t the slightest clue.” Hiruzen sighs. “On the note of spies, you’ve reminded me I now owe Jiraiya fifty thousand zeni.”

“What’d he bet you this time?”

“That Naruto would bring an entourage of other biju into my office and pack so many dangerous individuals into one room that our sensor corp is panicking about an S-rank jutsu being used in a room with nobody even using their chakra.”

.

.

Upon leaving, the only people remaining in the office as Naruto and the Sunagakure team. Baki peeks up to Hiruzen in suspicion. “Why have you insisted on this genin’s presence for this discussion?”

He hums. “Several reasons, I suppose. For one, Shukaku is best handled by one of his own who is willing to follow my advice. Secondly, discussion of a seal of this caliber will be good experience for an up-coming sealmaster. Lastly, I fully believe and support his intended claim of my hat.” He peeks to Naruto with a smirk, and the boy is just beaming at him. “And involvement in such political matters is also excellent experience.”

Baki hums and peeks down to Naruto with his one visible eye. “I see. Very well, but I won’t provide the intel we have until he’s left.”

“Agreeable. Now, what can you tell us of the seal?”

He sighs. “Gaara’s seal was intentionally designed with various loopholes to properly weaponize Shukaku’s various properties in war, specifically that the demon obtains complete control if Gaara ever falls asleep. He’s essentially been wide awake for most of his life and recovers entirely through meditation and drawing off his tennant’s chakra as a source of excess stamina.”

Naruto can’t help but growl. “Can you tell me who made this seal?”

Baki side-eyes Naruto. “That’s classified.”

“Really?” Hiruzen huffs. “Becuase I recall the only competent sealmasters in your village being Chiyo and Ebizo.”

“Thank you, jiji.” Naruto grins with grit teeth. “I’ll be sure to question them about that seal if I ever have the honor of meeting them.”

Temari can’t help but smile a bit. “You’re not the only one pissed at them believe me. Those two ancient fools are more trouble than they’re worth.”

Kankurou shoves an accusing finger in her face. “Don’t you dare speak ill of Chiyo-baa-sama! Her puppetry is by far the greatest in the village, and she’s only ever served with the utmost efficiency! Hanzo would have wiped out hundreds of us if not for antidotes she made!”

Naruto hums. “Ok, I’ll take that into consideration. Now, next up should be deciding what to do about that seal. Gaara, mind if I take a closer look?”

Gaara growls a bit, but closes his eyes and pulls his collar down to reveal a seal over his heart. The center appears to be a tiered pyramid, with a branch of seal code emerging from the three apexes and forming another triangle. Naruto hums as he looks it over, then peeks to his left. “What do you think?”

An invisible figure slowly fades into view, startling the Suna team and causing Gaara to step back. Baki gawks for a moment, but huffs and shakes it off. The Sannin have been well-known for their eccentricity for some time now. Jiraiya hums as he looks the seal over. “General structure isn’t bad, it’s solid containment, but the details are shoddy. Apparently intentional.” He hums and points to a specific mark in the upward branch. “You see this gap here?”

Naruto hums. “Yeah, the surrounding parts are familiar. A lot like my communication seal with the Kyuubi” He points to one specific symbol. “This must be the condition clause for sleep, but the communication channel is too wide, and in Shukaku’s favor. Whoever thought that was a good idea needs a swift kick to the head.”

Temari huffs. “Blame my father.”

“Noted.” Naruto scratches his head. “So that’s one kage on my sh*t list. Ok, so this part down here I don’t quite get.”

Jiraiya huffs. “That would be a-” His eyes narrow. “Huh, that’s odd… this part appears to be a bit corroded. Shukaku’s doing something to it from the inside. And it’s…” He stands abruptly and stares off into empty space.

Hiruzen’s eyes narrow. “What did you find?”

“... It’s.. twisted.” he shivers and looks away. “It appears the channel once meant to filter Gaara and Shukaku’s chakras together to provide constant access to Shukaku’s abilities has been altered to accept a third source, but it’s incredibly imbalanced.”

Naruto huffs as he stands. “The Kyuubi did say Shukaku keeps experimenting with senjutsu seals and messing them up.”

Jiraiya grumbles. “That would explain a lot…” He closes his eyes and focuses his nature sense. “... From what I can tell, even as unbalanced as the nature energy in you is, it’s enough to survive one hell of an impact with little more than the wind knocked out of you. But, the constant exhaustion you’ve suffered has also limited your physical and mental ability, and made you far less efficient than you would be otherwise. If I place a seal that locks that channel and keeps nature chakra out of you, you may become less durable, but your quality of life will drastically improve, and Shukaku will likely be far less volatile.”

Gaara closes his eyes as he considers this. “... And can you place another seal over the communication channel to restrict his control and allow me to sleep?”

“Oh, certainly.” Jiraiya chuckles. “That might be the easiest part, actually. I’ve always had a weakness for genjutsu, so I’ve figured out a few seals that prevent any mental tampering.” He cracks his knuckles to loosen his fingers up. “Thankfully, I know these two seals well enough to perform them now. Just a warning though, you’re probably going to sleep for a good twenty-four hours after this.” He peeks up to Baki. “Can you give your word that the Kazekage will approve of this?”

Baki nods solemnly. “Half of these results are within his expectations. The senjutsu, he had no inklings of, but left it to our discretion to approach any unforeseen issues with the seal as necessary. If the nature energy being absorbed is indeed the source of Shukaku’s mental instability, then I believe it’s in our best interest to address it immediately.”

Hiruzen hums and nods. “Very well, then. Jiraiya, are there any other consequences to address?”

“None in the slightest. Naruto, does the fox have any input?”

He hums and thinks it over, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a communication seal strip just like the one that’s been linking his seal to his head. He pulls a second one and links them together- one between Gaara’s head and his own, and one between Gaara’s head and Shukaku’s seal. “That’s not in the way, is it?”

“Nope, I can work around that.” Jiraiya stretches his wrists, then starts shifting through half-handsigns, a different chain on each hand. “Have fun in there, kid.” His fingers light up with red flames on one side and green on the other, and he jabs at two of the corners of Gaara’s seal. “FUIN!”

The world goes black, and Gaara is at first terrified as he slips away. The last thing he registers is a smaller pair of hands catching him. At first, he can’t understand why the sand didn’t intercept and hold him up.

He doesn;t have time to consider it when he finds himself in an enormous, dimly-lit chamber with water beneath his feet and getting into his sandals. He peeks around in confusion, but quickly finds Naruto standing in front of him. “Where are we?”

“We’re…” Naruto hums. “I guess it’s a mental space created by our linked seals. Hold on, I think the other two are arriving.”

“Other tw-?” He’s cut off as an enormous, sandy hand slams down to his right, swaths of sand falling off as a sealing array falls apart.

“DAMNIT!” Shukaku shrieks. “DECADES OF WORK, THROWN AWAY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA-”

“Oh will you shut up?” A pair of crimson eyes light up far behind Naruto, and Kurama slowly fades into view. “You should be coming back to your senses any moment now.”

Gaara cannot help but shiver at the sight of the strongest of the Biju, a presence that dwarfs that of his own tennant. Hearing the fox’s words, he slowly turns around to see more sand falling from the Tanuki as many of the blue and black marking across him disperse.

“KURAMA, YOU BASTARD- Wait…” Shukaku pauses for a moment as the last of the markings across his falls off and splashes down. “... I’m.. suddenly very dizzy. Wait, wait, no… I was dizzy before.” He reaches up and holds his head. “Kurama… how long?...”

He sighs. “I can’t be sure. We haven’t met in many decades. Almost a century. Knowing you, you did this somewhere around seven decades ago.”

Shukaku hangs his head, then growls and punches the ground. “Seventy years with another faulty seal!” He starts shifting the disconnected sand around to write new ones. “I’ll get it right this time! I know I’ll make father proud!”

Kurama sighs and shakes his head. “No point, you have no access to nature energy now. Take some time to sort your head out and work with your jinchuuriki for a while before you dive into that obsession again, you clueless mutt.”

“OY!” Shukaku howls. “You know I don’t take orders from you!”

“No, you don’t…” He huffs and closes his eyes. “But maybe you could listen for once, for your own good. Choumei is worried about you.”

That stuns Shukaku into silence, and Naruto peeks back. “Wow, weaponizing your sister, now that’s brutal.”

He shrugs. “Choumei is a big weak point for him and Kokuo.”

Naruto chuckles as he mentally files that away, but Gaara interrupts. “Uzumaki…”

“Hm?” he peeks up and crosses his arms behind his head. “What’s up?”

“... How… are you so… cheerful… when you’ve lived with the same curse?”

“Yeah, go ahead, talk like that about me when I’m right here…”

Gaara doesn’t respond to Shukaku, just awaiting Naruto’s answer. The boy is contemplative for a moment, pacing across the water. “Well… I guess… I still understand how you got how you are.” He scratches his head and really thinks on it. “I mean… if my dad hadn’t adopted me, if I didn’t have my friends… yeah, I’d probably be a lot more like you. But I found people who care. For you…” He peeks up to Shukaku. “It must have been a lot harder to recognize people who were already there. I know what it’s like to have a voice in your head telling you that nobody cares. For me though, that was just my own head messing with me. For you, it was a lot more literal.”

Shukaku takes a step back at that, hanging his head. That hit home for the biju as well, it seems. Gaara finds his vision swimming as he struggles to grasp how accurate that is. “But… what good do those bonds do you? This world is… cruel. Heartless. Strength is all you can rely on.”

Naruto shames his head. “It’s one thing you can always rely on, but there’s plenty more. You just need to know where to look and be willing to take the risk of getting hurt.”

A few tears leak into Gaara’s eyes as the many ghosts of his past come flooding back. His uncle’s dying smile comes through clearly, and he finds his legs giving out on him. He tries to speak, but his form in this world fades and flickers.

Naruto sighs. “Damn. These conversations are quick, but you’re passing out fast. I won’t be able to stay in here while you’re unconscious. How about you come find me when you’re awake, and we can talk more?”

Gaara peeks up form his fading hand, and after some quick deliberation, he nods. “Very well. We will speak again soon… Uzumaki.”

He shrugs. “Just call me Naruto. Sleep well, Gaara.”

Finally, Naruto pops back into his body and sighs, pulling the seals apart and stashing them again. “Ok, that went pretty well. Shukaku already seems to be doing better. He’s in a bit of a daze, but I think he’ll be fine by the time Gaara wakes up.”

Temari shivers faintly as she holds her brother up. “A-Are you sure Shukaku is actually sealed properly now?”

Jiraiya barks out in laughter and jumps into his one-footed kabuki pose. “The Great JIraiya’s sealing talents are unmatched!”

“Bitch, my mother taught you things you could barely fathom.”

Jiraiya’s face falls as he glares at his godson. “I swore the Uzumaki would be the death of me, and the way you keep running your mouth, I’m gonna be executed for strangling you.”

Kankurou snorts. “Wow, dad was right. The strongest shinobi are always kinda crazy.”

Baki grumbles. “Sady, yes, that does tend to be a common trait.”

Naruto hums. “So if I’m already this crazy at my age and this point in my career, would that be additive or exponential by the time I’m a kage?”

Hiruzen huffs. “In your case it better be a constant value, otherwise the elemental nations will burn down in my lifetime.”

.

.

Sakura wanders Konoha with Haku, watching as various genin squads from around the village eye up the competition almost lecherously. The older fools who’ve been stuck at this low rank for too long only see young prey, rather than threats.

Haku’s more the familiar with being underestimated. It’s almost calming, knowing she’s got so much less to worry about, if not for knowing how talented one particular team she’s against is. Regardless, she can enjoy her time with them for now. “I do hope you’ve picked up a better variety of genjutsu by now, Sakura. Although your techniques were quite effective at fooling our prey in Nami, I don’t believe it will be quite enough against me.”

She scoff. “You think I was really giving that my all? Although your acting was great, gotta say. I need to work on that myself. It’s weird. I’m a medic and use genjutsu, but for some reason my method is the most direct out of my whole squad.”

“Acting can be quite difficult. Getting yourself engrossed in a role, enough for your actions in it to feel natural, is the greatest hurdle. I had to act as stoic and heartless as I usually do on the job. The acting you’re looking to do is on an entirely different level.” She sighs. “I’m far from an effective teacher for that. I crafted merely one persona to go with my fake anbu role. You will need to create new scenarios on a whim. In a way, you’re more of a director than an actor, but that means you need to know how to improve someone’s acting.”

Sakura’s head slowly tilts as that sinks in, then smirks. “Maybe we can make a night of it, watching some bad, but fun movies?”

Haku pauses. “Wow… I never realized I’d been waiting practically my whole life for someone ask me to attend a movie night.”

“Get used to it girl, you’re one of us now.” Sakura grins. “Wanna stop by Ino’s and get her in on it?”

“Oh, certainly! Do you think we might be able to rope HInata in too?”

“That girl needs it just as badly as you do, so we’re damn sure gonna try.”

.

.

Shikamaru sits beneath the shade of a tree, meditating as deer meander around him. His brow furls as he ponders the next great question of his training.

His father had approached him with a unique conundrum. The greatest weakness of their clan’s techniques is the inability to wield a shadow that is not their own or that of an inanimate object their shadow is in contact with. In many cases, this has been a downfall for their clan. In the barren, open battlefields of Earth country, they were stunted. The same could be said in the Wind’s deserts, before the treaty was forged. Creating more shadows is a possibility, but a difficult one without either a lot of sealed objects to manipulate, as there are no jutsu capable of creating a solid object from thin air. Earth jutsu is a possibility, but a costly one which is also a rarity within the clan. So how, then, is this great hurdle to be overcome?

Shikamaru had been pondering this very question beneath this tree for nearly three hours now, and nothing has ever stumped him to such a degree. All the while, his father watches in silence. He could never solve this problem himself, but he knows his son has a unique perspective, especially with the influence and creativity of his friends. If anyone could solve it, his son could. He knew the answer would not come easily, but every twitch of his son’s brow was a sign of progress. A route had been discovered or closed off. Results upon results ring through his mind. It’s not until Shikamaru opens his eyes and tries to clear his head, and spots a fox wandering nearby, that something clicks.

.

.

“So let me get this straight.” Hiruzen’s grip on his pipe nearly cracks. Would be quite the shame, it was carved from Senju wood. “Rasa was pressured by the Wind country’s royalty into betraying us with Orochimaru’s aid, and you only turned the offer down because of our sudden treaty with Kirigakure?”

Baki kneels and bows, prostrating before the venerable Kami no Shinobi. “I offer you our sincerest apologies. We’ve been desperate to improve our village’s economy, for our people’s sake, but no other route was presenting itself. Many of our potential clients were turning to you instead, and our stability is currently sure to collapse within a few years. Desperation drove us to make foolish mistakes. Kazekage-sama himself has said so.”

Hiruzen hums as he consider this. “Well… I can certainly understand the motivation. We will provide aid in the matter, but there will be mandatory assistance in dealing with my wayward student and his apparent flock in Otogakure.” He huffs. “Thankfully, as co*cky as he is, I doubt he’ll be calling off his plans, only altering and improving them. Does he know of your betrayal yet?”

“He does not, as best we know. We intended to assist you in laying a trap for him.”

Hiruzen smirks. “Wonderful. Well, I suppose we have an accord, then. I’ll have my best strategists working on it. You and the men under your employ are to follow Orochimaru’s orders to a T, report back to me, and when the time comes, we’ll spring on him from both sides. I can only hope I can be close enough to my old protegee to see the look on his face for myself.” He waves them off. “Now, go and rest. I need to make some clones to handle paperwork and catch up to Roshi for a few drinks.”

.

.

A.N.: Yeah, I know, this one took me a while. I had a bit of a block with this one. I wanted to subvert things. With the power play Hiruzen made, Suna would know they have no chance of succeeding in betraying Konoha. Orochimaru’s plan would look far less lucrative than a greater alliance with more villages they could easily open trade with. Although Suna doesn;t have too much to give, they are particularly good in a few fields that will explode with access to more trade routes. They need supplies to turn around before it really goes somewhere, and this is a viable route. But, that meant turning away from Orochimaru and getting the backup they need to snuff the snake, hence making a deal with them here. Using Gaara as a living nuke isn’t so viable when you suddenly have greater numbers to rely on in the event of greater conflict, and nothing can beat a 3 village union, even if two of them are weakened.

As for Shukaku using senjutsu, he’s clearly been the one who most idolized his father, and he canonically is capable of using seals and cursemarks, so it makes sense for him to attempt something like this. The resulting instability would explain a lot, and balancing it out is gonna make him a much more manageable character moving forward. Once Gaara wakes up and he’s back in the picture, anyway.

Chapter 31: Breaking Through and Breaking In

Chapter Text

"You can't be serious." Ino huffs, leaning back against the wall behind Sakura's bed. "You're full of it. There's no way in hell you've seen him like that already!"

Sakura giggles and crosses her arms as she poses. "Hey, being the team's medic and one of the only people he really trusts goes a long way! Besides, I didn't see much, I was focused on cleaning that thigh wound. One stray kunai from one of Naruto's traps, and Sasuke almost killed him for an impromptu castration. He might have tried, if he weren't bleeding so much. Big vein, but thankfully pretty easy to stop with proper iryojutsu." She huffs and hangs her head. "Naruto's lucky I didn't personally kick his ass for that one."

Tenten rolls her eyes. "Good way to debilitate a target, though. I've used it a couple times. Hard for a bandit to fight back if they're bleeding out."

Hinata hums. "I suppose that's something I should keep in mind with my wind-enhanced jyuken. But it's… difficult to practice it against people when it's so dangerous."

Sakura smirks. "Naruto's still your only training dummy for that, huh?" She grins just a bit wider. "Must be great for you though, getting to feel that much of him."

Hinata turns crimson and stammers aimlessly for a moment. "W-w-wha- but- N-not when I'm hurting him like that! I-It might be clones, but it s-still hurts him!"

Sakura leans back and bursts into laughter, while Ino and Tenten giggle along with her. "Hey, at least you're not denying you like him anymore! And at this rate, it won't be too long before he stops being so blind." She leans forth again with a grin. "Don't worry, you'll get there. Now that he's taking things seriously enough to not just chase me because of my pretty face, it's just a matter of time before he realizes what you mean to him."

Ino hums. "I'm not so sure, honestly." All eyes turn to her. "Let's be honest, we all know his life before Iruka-sensei adopted him was pretty terrible. As an orphan, he doesn't really have that solid of a grasp on the concept of love, familial or romantic." She scratches her head a bit. "Buuut, he does have Iruka in his life now, and Anko's practically his mother at this point too. Surprisingly, those two make a pretty great couple. It's enough of an example that he might start getting it pretty soon, especially having seen their relationship grow from conception."

Tenten's jaw slacks for a moment, but she slowly picks it back up. "I keep forgetting you come from a whole clan of psychologists."

Ino smirks and shrugs. "It's just one of the many amazing things about me." She slowly sits back up. "But on the note of getting people…" She turn to Haku as her face falls. "You've been silent for way too long."

All eyes turn on Haku, who's curled up on the far corner of the bed, as distant from the group as she could be. After a few moments, she sighs shakily and hangs her head. "I am.. Very sorry. I don't quite feel I belong here…"

Hinata shakes her head and places a hand on her shoulder. "You might not be from Konoha, but you're our friend. You're more than welcome here."

She shakes her head again. "I-It's not that. I… I'm not exactly… who or w-what you think I am." She curls up a bit tighter and grips at her robes. While everyone else had dressed down into pajamas, or just a T-shirt and panties in Ino's case, Haku has remained fully dressed the entire night.

After a few moments, Sakura starts to get it. "Does this have anything to do with you not joining us in the hotsprings during that last mission together?"

It starts to click for Ino just after. "Haku… are you… trans?..."

She pulls her knees her to chest, but gives a shaky nod. "Y-Yes… I'm.. n-not a rea-"

Tenten jabs her in the forehead before she can finish. "No. None of that. I don't give a sh*t what's between your legs. You are Momochi Haku, daughter of Momochi Zabuza, kunoichi of Kirigakure, our friend, and definitely one of us. Right, girls?"

Sakura scoots across the bed to pull Haku into a one-armed hug, while Ino joins her on the other side and Hinata nods emphatically. "Y-You're more than welcome here, Haku-chan. You'll always be one of us."

For just a few moments, Haku feels like she's trapped in her own jutsu. Soon after, she starts to feel warmer than she thought possible, as a few tears of joy begin to stream down. "I.. I really can't thank you all enough."

"Forget thanking us." Ino tightens her side of the hug. "Just get comfortable and give us a little gossip already! You must know a few good stories out of Kiri."

She pauses and thinks that over for a moment. "... W-Well, one of my teammates, Choujuro, has as big of a crush on Lady Mizukage as Hinata has on Naruto."

"No sh*t?" Tenten's jaw drops. "What the hell is with the shy ones always having the bold crushes?"

Ino shrugs. "I have no f*cking clue, I don't think my family's even got a research paper on that. Could start one with you two as case studies, though."

Hinata whines and scoots away a bit. "Please don't go digging in my head."

"Fine, I won't if you give us something juicy." She smirks.

"... W-Well, Kiba tried hitting on Kurenai-sensei and got locked in a Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu for trying." She giggles a bit. "He was stuck in there for about half an hour, and Akamaru left him in there, because he knew Kiba deserved it."

.

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Across the village, Sasuke returns home from a long night out with Hibiki's new family, Asuma, and Kurenai… to an eerily empty and quiet home. He sighs as the silence sinks in and wanders towards his bedroom, while his mind is off across the village, in his old home, the now empty Uchiha Manor that once housed generations of clan heads.

The nightmares came back recently. Every time he finds something to be happy about, something to cling to, those eyes come back to him. That twisted, sharp pattern of three blades. How far did his brother have to go to achieve them? Worse yet.. What he learned from the Hokage.

Naruto's advice got him further in understanding that night than he's ever been. Knowing his own parents' schemes took some time to come to grips with. His brother's supposed innocence was even more difficult. Even so, those eyes still haunt him.

What kind of horrific motivation sat behind them? Why did he torment his own sibling, when he meant no ill will in his other acts that night? So little of it makes sense, but he knows he has to find out.

But how can he when he's still so weak? His sharingan is only two tomoe, and although it's balanced, it's nowhere near enough. The Mangekyou Sharingan is a level of power all it's own, something nearly unattainable, even to his clan. The strength and chakra required to unlock it is absurd enough, but the other task at hand…

As Sasuke collapses into bed, he wonders how he could even achieve the Mangekyou Sharingan when the bonds he's forged now are too precious to sever?

.

.

Just across the compound from them, Naruto sits between Iruka and Anko on their couch, with Yoko laid across their laps. It's movie night, and this time it's a compelling Yukie Fujikaze flick with a good number of actual shinobi taking up enemy roles and managing special effects with jutsu. It ends up giving Naruto a few ideas for his own tricks, using seals to make flashy distractions that look much more dangerous than they are.

But, as a romantic scene comes up, he can't help but let his mind wander. That's… not something he's even seen too much of, until recently. Living alone, wandering the streets knowing he;s unwelcome, he's seen things he certainly shouldn't, things he knows aren't love, but malice and perversion on a level even Jiraiya can't match. But this on screen, though fake, still seems genuine, and heartwarming. Much more so though is what he feels between the these two wonderful people beside him.

He's seen how they look at each other, heard them talking later at night when something serious comes up, looking for a new place to move that won't be a problem with him around.

Anko's still a little nervous around him sometimes. Doesn't seem quite used to spending time around kids, or being open with people in general, but she's trying. To Naruto, that means a hell of a lot. At first, it seemed like she was only doing it for Iruka's sake. Now he's sure it's genuine, especially with how she reacts when he speaks up as the movie ends.

"Um… T-Tou-san?...Anko-san?..." He nervously peeks up from the orange furball across their laps. "How.. h-how does it feel to be, um… i-in love?..."

Silence falls as they both stare at him for a moment, but Anko stops Iruka with a finger to his lips before she kneels down to Naruto's level. "Ok, I think I know better than anyone in this village how tough it is for you to get it. You've been alone so long it's kinda hard to grasp, right?"

Naruto nods shakily, keeping his head low and a bit too nervous to look her in the eyes. It's so easy to just fake being the jovial brat he's always been to the public eye. In this moment, he knows exactly how hard it was for Anko to start opening up to him. It's both terrifying and numbing. He feels like the world could fall out underneath him at any moment.

ANko stares for a moment, but sighs and scratches her head. "Listen, I… I'm not too good at explaining this kinda sh*t, but I do know where your head's at right now. For the longest time, I didn't think I could ever have anything like this. Thought I was… just too broken and disgusting for anyone to want anything serious with. I've had plenty of flings, but I've never considered a serious relationship until Iruka and I started dating." She chuckles and shakes her head a bit. "I just wanted to jump his bones at first, and then it became so much more, way faster than I could believe. And ya wanna know how it got to that point?"

Naruto slowly peeks up into her eyes and nods once more, seeming more like a child than he has in years in this moment. Those innocent, curious eyes melted more of the ice Orochimaru left around her heart.

"I did what felt right, even if it was terrifying. And I know you do the same thing as a ninja all the time. Doing it for yourself feels… horrifically different." She shivers for just a moment. "You wanna turn back and bury yourself in old habits, forget anything happened at all, because it's so hard to face something that contradicts everything you think about yourself." She calms down rather quickly as Iruka places a hand on her shoulder. With that little bit of confidence restored, she looks Naruto in the eyes again. "But maybe you'll find someone that makes you think otherwise. Someone who makes you feel more like yourself than you've ever been. Not a missing piece, but someone who brings out the best in you just by being themselves. Someone that makes you brave enough to face the darkest corners of your mind. Someone that's painful to think of a life without, because once they're gone, they'll take pieces of you that only grew because of them. For people like us, that's love."

By the end of it all, she's almost teared up, and to her surprise, Naruto is as well. Iruka kneels and pulls her in for a gentle kiss. "Now who's the teacher?" He chuckles. "A flawless lesson."

They're both startled by Naruto mumbling incoherently for a moment, but Yoko lifts her head and stares in shock, as she clearly heard what he meant to say. Anko leans a bit closer, worry etched into her face as she sees his tears falling. "Naruto?.. Are you ok?"

She's nearly jumps back as he rushes in and wraps his arms around her neck, burying his face into her shoulder. "T-Thank you… k… k-kaa-san…"

Anko's instantly frozen, but it all thaws away just as quickly as she wraps her arms around him and holds on for dear life. "... You're.. v-very welcome, Naruto-kun…" She sighs shakily, but can't wipe the teary smile from her face. It only grows wider as Iruka joins them both and Yoko curls up around their collective legs.

It's the night before the exams, and Naruto now has more to fight and live for than ever. More to motivate him to greatness than he could ever ask for.

And to his own surprise, someone to ask out as soon as the chaos of the exams dies down.

.

.

The morning of, Sakura sighs as she finishes repacking her bag. As great of a sleepover as it was, they did need to get a good amount of sleep and get up early enough to prepare. They all had their gear packed and ready to go, and even brought it with them, but it didn't hurt to double-check and make sure you didn't forget any gear.

"You sure we're ready for this, forehead?"

Sakura turns to glare half-heartedly at Ino, but sighs and shrugs. "I really don't know. Are we more prepared than most other genin? Sure. But we really can't be sure what's about to happen. All I do know is that we've trained like hell and taken this more seriously than any genin in our village has in years. We'll probably go far, but whether we pass or not still involves a lot of factors I can't even begin to plan for." She huffs and straps her bag into place around her waist. "Honestly, the best we can do is be prepared for anything, and be ready to wing it when we realize everything didn't include whatever we're about to face."

Tenten grumbles a bit as she stuffs her pockets and the seals within with more of her own weapon seals. "Tell me about it. I doubt there's anyone as weird in these exams as some of our own, but we'll probably see a few things that'll hit near the top of our personal 'What the f*ck' scales."

Haku giggles as she pulls her robes back on.. "I wouldn't be so sure. You didn't see the trap Naruto sprung on Zabuza and I, and the army of thugs that came after us. That's certainly the top of the scale for me…" She pauses and tilts her head. "Actually, that might have been when we ran into one of tou-san's former teammates and that absurd thing somehow called a sword. That or the enka-rapping man with the giant panda…"

Hinata giggles and shakes her head. "Sounds like quite the show! We'll have to do this again before you go back to Kiri, just to hear more of your stories."

A bright, rosy blush overtakes Haku's pearlescent-white face, accompanied by the most genuine smile of her life. "Ask me any time, and I'll be there."

.

.

Deep in the training grounds, a green-clad beast of a lad kneels before a post he's kicked and punched so thoroughly it's smoothed down and polished by his own sweat and blood. He stopped using this one ages ago, left as a memorial to his years of struggling before meeting Gai-sensei.

Now, it stands as a reminder of how far he's come. His new training method, new techniques, strength, skill, everything has come down to what he'll prove from this day forward.

He leaves a neatly-folded green jumpsuit at the base of the beaten log and slowly pulls an old green headband from the top of tying it into place over his overgrown hair, he's gone without a trace.

.

.

A crowd gathers out front of the first testing building, bordering the woods to the southwest end of the village. It's a tall, solid concrete block with a single entrance up front guarded by three shinobi. Two are nameless anbu with a mirrored pair of red and blue fanged masks, one man, one woman. The remaining shinobi ahead of them is the towering figure of Morino Ibiki, his trenchcoat doing little to disguise his enormous frame. His eyes drift across the competitors, locking eyes with the few who seem a bit too confident and arrogant. Those few get shut down all too quickly with that one glance.

Some are just gossiping and bragging to their comrades, regardless of what village they hail from. Others are focused on the competition, eyes sharp and tools at the ready to rend any fool who dares approach.

The best of them are already observing the building and determining the nature of the test to come. Neji and Hinata have already determined the first task, but from there, it's anyone's guess.

And Team Seven… is one member short, as Sakura and Sasuke wonder what the f*ck Naruto could be up to. Ibiki is peeking over to them all too knowingly, and Hinata happened to giggle for just a moment shen her eyes were active. Yoko, laying at their feet, is entirely comfortable with her brother's absence.

"Yo, Sasuke!" He turns to see Kiba approaching. "Where the hell's Naruto? I know I can smell him, he's been here recently, but Hinata won't say a damn thing, and his scent's scattered to the winds, like…"

"Like there's a dozen of him?" Sakura hangs her head and huffs.

Kiba sniffs and pales. "Uh… sh*t, yeah."

Shikamaru grumbles. "Well, the most troublesome blonde is on the move already. He didn't fill you in on this one, did he?"

Yoko yawns and rolls onto her back. "Mmmm, he'll be fine. Just a little psychological warfare."

"Ah, so the rookies have all gathered." All three teams, minus Naruto, turn to see a silver-haired genin with a ponytail approach, adjusting his glasses. "When I heard the newest set of genin were going to be competing, I knew I had to meet these chuunin hopefuls myself."

Spotting the Konoha headband calms them down rather quickly, but Shino remains silent and critical. "I don't believe we've met, but you've clearly looked into us."

"Ah, yes, pardon my manners." He bows slightly. "Yakushi Kabuto, at your service. I was just hoping to impart a bit of wisdom onto my kohai, if you're willing to accept."

Sasuke hums. "You've taken these exams before, then?"

"Well, it's not much to brag about, really. I wouldn't have taken it so many times if I were a bit better, or just a bit luckier with the competition." He rises and rubs the back of his neck. "It's a bit embarrassing, but this is my seventh attempt at the chuunin exams. But one thing I've learned for certain is that no exam is the same. Not here or any of the other villages. They change the tests every time, so no intel from one year is quite helpful the next. Once you get that down though, it's easy to narrow things down and have an idea of what they're testing for, and what methods they haven't used recently that they could try next."

Shikamaru hums a bit. "A process of elimination for the exam parameters. Unique insight only someone who's taken these exams as much as you could have. But why give that information to us?"

"Well, it still took a lot of deliberation to make use of, so I thought I'd perform a little test myself to see how my comrades are coming along. Your own information gathering skills will be critical here, and wanna see what you can glean from what's ahead of us."

Slowly, all eyes turn to the building. Kiba huffs. "One noticeable entry point, but I doubt it. Any real shinobi base has multiple entrances and exits to guard, only one obvious entrance, most likely trapped anyway. A choke point for easy prey, and escape routes aplenty for if they're the prey."

Sakura nods in agreement. "Find the entrances, steal our way into enemy territory." She peeks aside to a few chuunin at a stand set up with multiple crates. "With supplies to carry. We have to sneak something in as well."

Chouji huffs. "Infiltration with explosives? Demolition missions aren't very common anymore, but that takes a good amount of skill to pull off. My clan used to be great at that back in the war, but we usually did it with the Chou Baika no Jutsu. Those of us that learned it, anyway."

Sasuke slowly grins. "Now that sounds like a good test. Almost fun, actually."

"Fun?" Kabuto hums. "Well, in some perspective, I suppose. But I doubt that's the only task. You'll probably have more to do once you're inside. These tests tend to be multi-purpose, and without being able to see inside, I haven't a clue what could be next."

Hinata fidgets a bit. "W-Well, I saw inside, but I can't make much sense of it. A lot of rooms. Enough for half the teams currently here to each have one." She peeks around. "We have… a lot of competitors this year. I've never seen so many foreign shinobi in the village at once."

Kabuto nods and takes a moment to clean his glasses. "Indeed. I was wondering if any of you have noticed. The roster this time is quite… impressive. I believe this has much to do with the treaties Konoha is recently responsible for. I believe six of you were involved in a mission connected to some of them."

Ino crosses her arms and grins ear to ear. "Yes, yes we are. I don't think Kiri would have sent a team at all this year, so soon after ending their civil war, if we hadn't gotten Zabuza back to them and gotten a treaty with Kiri. And then there's Iwa." She turns and stares at Kurotsuchi's team across the field. "We impressed them too much on that mission. They had to get involved and get a better look at the competition. With both of them involved, it was just a matter of time before Kumo caught wind and sent their own. Now we have every major and most minor villages under one test. There has to be a pretty hefty elimination round for this many of us."

Shino adjusts his own glasses. "But although we have the vast majority here, that's to be expected of a test on our own turf. Our competitors on the other hand have sent only their best in an attempt to trounce us and impress our clients. It is quite likely that their teams will pass this first stage of the exam and move on with us."

Kiba chuckles and throws an arm around Shino. "Well, glad to see you're still expecting all of us to pass."

"This stage at least." Shino hums. "Beyond that, I cannot predict, but I am quite certain that ourselves and team Gai are shoo-ins for stage one. Our new training program has yielded results too potent to deny."

Kabuto chuckles and shakes his head. "If it were anyone besides a Nara or Aburame to say that, I'd blow it off. In this case, I'll have to take it as fact. I wish you luck with the next round, at least. Whenever we're done whatever double elimination round this is, I hope to see you all on the other side."

Sakura nods and giggles cheerfully. "Likewise, Kabuto-senpai. Maybe this time, you'll finally pass too."

"One can dream!" He chuckles as he turns and walks off. "Oh, what a dream…"

Once Kabuto's left and clearly gone out of earshot, things grow tense as Hinata looks to Shino. "What did you see?"

He huffs and hunches. "There are several competitors here whose chakra are almost as worrisome as Sasuke's or even Naruto's in scale, and Kabuto-san is one of them. He's good at hiding it, but one of my kikaichu managed to get a sip from him. His chakra is potent and focused. I would say he's on par with Kakashi-sensei if he were to have the arsenal and experience to support it." He peeks back over his shoulder. "And the redhead from Suna has chakra I find… as Shikamaru would put it, troublesome. Save for Naruto, no other genin here has comparable chakra capacity, but his is almost… foul."

Sakura and Sasuke look to one another for a moment, then return their gaze to Shino. Sakura's the first to speak. "Naruto told us about him. Gaara-kun is troubled, but he shouldn't be as dangerous as you think. As long as you don't wake him up."

"Hmm…" Shino's shoulders drop just a bit as the tension drains from him. "I see. Well, Naruto proves to be a good judge of character, so I will trust his judgment on the matter. I would still rather not approach him, regardless. Facing him in these exams is likely to go poorly for me."

"Speaking of going poorly…" Yoko speaks up from below. "You all may want to brace yourselves."

Naruto pops up from the ground between his teammates with a sh*t-eating grin. "Sorry I'm late, guys. I just had a masterpiece to set up."

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata sighs and giggles. "Are you sure that was a good idea?"

He snorts. "Like anyone from outside Konoha is gonna have any clue I did it. Oh, by the way, you might wanna check for a warning at the entrances you find. You'll recognize it."

"Alright, that's enough chatter, you half-pint sh*tstains!" The yard goes silent as Ibiki calls out across it. "It's time for the first exam to begin. Form three lines of teams at the kiosk to my left. There, you'll each be given a waiver to sign, then a scroll. You are to take this scroll, but not read it's contents until directed. Then, prepare for an infiltration mission. You are to enter this building through one of twenty-two entrances hidden throughout the grounds. Each is rigged to close after a team has entered and lock further contestants from entering the building. I can tell some of you have taken the time to perform reconnaissance beforehand. This will not be penalized. Those of you who thought that far ahead deserve the results. Those of you who didn't, tough sh*t. Once inside, each of you will be given directions on how to perform next for the second elimination round."

As everyone gathers into line, Naruto peeks over to Hinata in the next line over and finds himself a bit lost for words. He's never seen her so… confident. She's entirely in her element now, her skills are tailored for a test like this. All the shyness and uncertainty that plagued her back in the academy is gone in this moment, replaced by the strength of will to step forth and prove herself.

He knows well enough that she's still scared beneath it all. Despite the almost regal purpose she carries herself with now, she's too tense. But it's a far cry better than the timid wallflower he foolishly ignored before.

He ends up walking into an older genin's back and getting a faceful of black hair. The woman peeks back and peers at him from under her straw hat and Kusagakure headband. "I know this is a bit nerve-wracking for some of you, but it may be best if you pay attention to where you're walking. Wouldn't want to blindly walk into an outstretched kunai, would we?"

"Um.. y-yeah, sorry. Kinda spaced out for a second there."

"Well, I suppose that can happen to the best of us sometimes. Just try to be a little more careful. These exams can be quite deadly…"

Naruto can't help but shudder at the sight of her licking her lips with a tongue far too long to be natural.

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A.N.: Oh yeah. It's all comin together. From here, we finally begin the exams, and I have original exams planned for the 1st and 2nd rounds! The tournament is the same though, can't change that. Regardless, I'll be having fun with completely randomizing the matchups in every round! That's right, there's no direct combat in round 1, but there will still be a showdown of sorts, and who knows who will have to eliminate who?! Oooohoho, this is gonna be good.

Chapter 32: First Round, Third Degree

Chapter Text

CRITICAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I NOW HAVE A TVTROPES PAGE! You can thank AO3 user Supermage for it! Go search it up, it's small still, but I'm sure you guys can expand it rapidly! Now I wonder how long it'll take for Henshin Hero Academia and Getting Anywhere to get pages? Or maybe even my Youtube channel, or the whole Envoy of Kairos brand…

The moment the international collection of genin heard the buzzer, they set off to work, scattering to the winds. Most teams took to the surrounding woods, others went for the sides of the building, a few jumped tot he roof. The dumbest of them charged the guards at the front to force their way in, but that resulted in swift defeats and a pile of unconscious bodies being carted away.

Naruto of course left a clone to enjoy the show.

The real Naruto was with his team, out in the woods as he giggles maniacally every few minutes. "Ah, so glad I planted henged clones everywhere to watch the fools running into my traps. Their screams are beautiful."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "We get it, you're a sad*st. So, where's the nearest one you found that you didn't rig?"

Suddenly, Yoko pops up from beneath a rock, pushing the full weight of the hollow, but still weighted boulder with little issue thanks to all her biju chakra enhancements. "Right here. Spacious one, too. You'll need to crouch or crawl for a good deal of it, but it's better than most of them."

Sasuke hums. "Good rock, must have used earth jutsu to hollow out most of it while keeping the surface intact. Impossible to tell that way without going out of your way to move it. Even has some moss growing on it for good measure…"

Sakura hums and nods. "It's impressive, I'll give it that. Now, let's get moving." She pauses at the sound of Testuma screaming in rage across the testing grounds. She sighs contently. "Ok, I'm starting to see what you get out of this."

Sasuke huffs. "I got it immediately, but now I gotta see the results for myself."

Off to their southwest, Shikamaru pauses as he finds an entrance that's marked with fox tracks, and that alone is suspicious, but beside them, deeper in the hole, is a spiral. He hums and backs away. "Another of Naruto's, but he seems to have a system. The spiral's pointing in the same direction as the last one. They've gotta be pointing at the nearest one that's not trapped."

Ino hums. "That's a pretty good system. Let's move then, gotta get in there fast." She peeks around as they turn and run. "Seems to me like they told us less entrances than there are, though. Just twenty-two seems a bit few, with a second elimination inside."

Chouji huffs. "A trick to get us fighting, probably. But fighting during an infiltration mission is pretty dumb, especially with a payload."

Shikamaru nods. "Trying to psyche us out." His eyes dart to the south as he hears a bit of yelling and a sudden clash, followed by some anbu rushing that way. "Anyone who fights has a chance of getting ambushed by the guards, and then both sides lose. They're weeding out the hotheads."

Chouji chuckles. "Good thing Kiba has Hinata and Shino to keep his head level."

Across the testing grounds, a powdery explosion goes off in one of the tunnels, followed by a long string of cursing all the way through it and into the building. Suigetsu bursts into the room in a flailing mess of limbs as he scratches at every inch of his liquifying form. "That blonde motherf*cker is dead the moment I get my hands on him!"

Haku giggles as she steps though. "I warned you, Suigetsu. Naruto didn't have to tell me he was pranking the exam to know he would. You should have been more careful."

Choujuro sighs and hangs his head. "That stuff is inside you too, isn't it?"

"H-hey, I reflexively liquified, thinking I was gonna get blown up! How was I supposed to know I'd get filled with a soluble itching powder?!" He takes a moment to chug water from the sealed bottle on his belt, his biomass increasing for a moment before he ripples violently, concentrates those ripples towards his left hand, and fires a mass of foggy water against the wall. He pants and hunches for a moment, then spits out a bit more of the same substance. "Ok… ok, I got it."

Choujuro grumbles as he examines the mess from afar. "So that's how you dealt with the purging squads' poisons."

"Yeah, came in handy pretty often. Now where the f*ck are we?" He uprights himself and peers around the room, where Haku is already inspecting instructions written on the wall of the otherwise barren concrete room.

"It seems the next stage will be… unique. Suigetsu, you should pull yourself together. Look natural, and not… drippy."

"Why'zat? What's it say?"

"One of us needs to memorize what's written on the scroll we smuggled in, then we destroy the scroll, and trade the reader with the other team's for an interrogation test."

Somehow, Suigetsu almost became the palest person in the room. "Oh sh*t, you're sending me, aren't you?"

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"It just makes sense." Chouji shrugs. "I can take the most hits, and my recent training gave me the best pain resistance. I can hold out more than long enough for Ino to break whoever we get, and we'll be done in no-time."

Shikamaru sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He was never the kind to like risking any pieces. Defensive strategy was his forte, and having to throw someone to the lions didn't sit well at all. "Can't argue those points. Alright, we'll be sure to make it quick. But you should go in with a backup option to fight back if they go too far."

Chouji chuckles as he pulls a small water balloon, already filled, from his pouch. "Oh, I've got somethin for that."

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Omoi attempts to open and read the scroll, but Karui smacks him upside the head and takes it herself. One quick read and a lightning jutsu to burn it finishes the process. "There's no way in hell we're letting them interrogate your neurotic mumbling ass."

Atsui snorts. "Seriously, you're not so hot in this field, man. Help me do the interrogation, your psychotic breakdowns will probably have them begging us to release them in minutes."

Omoi can only hang his head in shame, knowing them both to be right.

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A pair of doors opens into a small room with a clear red line painted down the middle and a locked steel door on the remaining interior-facing wall. From one end emerges a creepy but otherwise unassuming team from Amegakure, in tight pale spandex suits and respirators. From the other, Team Seven steps out and slowly hands over Naruto in exchange for an Ame nin none of them will ever bother recalling the name of, not that they'd ever need to.

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Tenten smirks as they stop on the other side of the door and a chakra suppression seal is pressed to her forehead. Her arms are tied quickly, and they get to work disarming her, only to find hidden pocket after pocket and seal after seal in her clothing, much to their horror as larger and more intimidating implements of pain and murder are unsealed.

The moment her kanabo is unsealed and lands upright, she kicks it into one of their knees and breaks it with one swift move, then grabs a kunai between her toes and chucks it at the other to hold them off long enough to cut herself free. She sighs and stretches as she stands. "Ya know, if you were gonna do this right, you wouldn't have been too squeamish to just strip me when you found all those seals." She hefts the kanabo over her shoulder and twirls a kunai in her free hand. "Maybe this village really is getting too soft."

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Shino sits bound to a chair with his coat off, while the Taki shinobi not preparing tools inspects him. "Hey, what the hell is up with all the holes on this guy?"

Shino hums. "Would you like to find out?"

Their screams can soon be heard in the neighboring rooms for a few brief moments, until their chakra is sucked dry.

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A pair of Konoha shinobi are, frankly, stumped. Their interrogation target has proven immune to everything and just seems to be toying with them. Attempting to place a seal on her head resulted in it blowing up. Trying to cut her triggered a blast that flung the kunai from their hand. This small, pale, bald, frail Iwa girl is just sitting there, tied down, with a gentle smirk on her otherwise impassive face as tool after tool is exploded on contact. She hums as one attempts to punch her, only to blast his hand back as well. It's not a particularly strong one, but enough to hurt for certain. "Wow, you really didn't put your back into that one, did you? Well, try it again, I'm sure you're better than that."

Hibiki would dream of their screams of rage and pain that followed for a few weeks, and sleep blissfully.

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Naruto chuckles as he sits bound to a chair. Not feeling his chakra flowing properly thanks to the seal on his forehead is an… ddd experience, to say the least. He was certain for any normal person, this seal would have stopped them in their tracks. In his case, it's more like his chakra 's motions changed from a natural breeze to a thick oil. Testing his limits with it, he finds he can still manage to feel the proper flow in his handsigns and his jutsu should work, although it's sure to be inefficient and messy.

Not that he needs it. He's got better plans.

"Ya know, these knots aren't half bad…" He hums as he shifts. "For having been tied by a pair of two-fingered toddlers. Did Mizuki teach you? He was terrible at these."

"Shut the f*ck up already." One of them holds a kunai to Naruto's throat. "The only word I wanna hear from you is the password." He presses just hard enough to draw some blood. "Speak too much, and this just might sink deeper."

He shrugs. "My own teammates have tried harder to kill me. Quick tip for you guys: never threaten a fangirl's crush's junk. One stray trap, and I swear I saw my life flash five separate times. Halfway through the third, I realized I had a couple stalkers I never noticed before." Just as his captor promised, the wound gets deeper as he talks, but it's manageable, especially once his healing kicks in. It's barely working now thanks to the seal, but it's still helping a bit and dulling the pain.

The other captor grumbles as he starts searching Naruto's hoodie, pausing as he finds a scroll in there. "The hell you got sealed here, Uzumaki?"

"Oh, so you DO know who I am! Oh, and that one's just some rations for if the exams took too long. Ichiraku's, still piping hot."

The two incompetent nin do at least know Naruto's reputation for spending far too much time at Ichiraku's and believing ramen to be the food of the gods. If anything could convince him to give up, it'd be threatening to eat or waste his ramen in front of him-

The moment they open the seal, Yoko leaps forth from it and pins one to the floor before firing some fox fire from her tail to burn off the seal on Naruto's forehead. He sighs and forms a handigns, filling the room with clones. "Really, this is just amatuer. I'm not even using my good material on you guys! No wonder they need a double elimination round."

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Haku hums ot herself as she prepares a few more tools. "Here we are… You know, I've taken quite some time to decide whether steel or ice senbon are better for interrogation purposes." She stops before Karui with a smile. "Have you any guess which?"

Karuo huffs as she squirms against her bindings. "Like I give a sh*t."

"Oh, but you should!" Haki holds up her fight hand, full of steel senbon, and generates ice ones in her left. "You see, the steal ones, though always needing to be meticulously cleaned, make the subject last far longer!" She giggles. "Ice senbon melt and leave frostbitten open wounds, which bleed profusely when the subject moves and cannot be so easily healed, even with iryojutsu. I like to reserve them for later, and stick them in the most fascinating places. Have you seen what happens when frostbite strikes a joint from the inside? I've seen people lose fingers so easily that way."

Karui begins to sweat. "N-No way in hell are you a genin…"

"Oh, I am. I never had any chance to develop any rank until recently, but now that Zabuza-sama and I have returned home under our new kage, I thought it best to earn the rank befitting my talents."

And now Karui is sweating bullets. Having been trained by the best and most chaotic swordsman in all of Kumogakure, she's heard more than enough regarding every known member of the Kiri no Shinobigatana Shichinin Shū, and Momochi Zabuza, as one of the last surviving members and most prolific to ever wield Kubikirihōchō, stands above most. She was always told an encounter with him is an automatic flee-on-sight order, especially with the beef much of Kiri has had with Kumo over the years as the one nation to combat them most.

All she can think as Haku approaches with her first senbon, preparing to slip it in with the innocent curiosity of a toddler squishing an ant, is that her team better hurry the hell up with whoever they're interrogating. She doesn't know what's up with the cowardly boy in the corner avoiding even glancing at the interrogation, but maybe it's a sign that this girl is the only hardcore one on this team?

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Suigetsu bursts into rapturous laughter. "Holy sh*t, is this really all you two have?!" He bares shark fangs from beneath his dripping hair as he stares down Omoi and Atsui. "One dedicated swordsman who can't manage to do much of anything to me, and a clueless dipsh*t with nothing but fire jutsu?! You guys are f*cked!"

Atsui scowls. "Shut the hell up! We'll get you to talk soon enough!" he stabs down into Suigetsu's arm, but it liquifies and passes through harmlessly.

Suigetsu sighs and shakes his head. "Really, man, this is pathetic. Even with my chakra sealed, my body's automatic response to trauma is to liquify. You can stop me from using jutsu, but you can't stop my body from doing what it just naturally does. Maybe if ya went for my head near the seal, sure, but you won't get anything out of me if you kill me." He starts to chuckle. "Besides, even if ya could hurt me, you sure as sh*t can't do enough to make me squeal."

Omoi starts to pace and mumble. "But if we fail to make you sing, we'll fail exams, Yugito will abandon us here, we'll have to become nukenin, we'll end up picked off by jonin wanting intel on our sensei-"

Atsui facepalms and groans. "And why, exactly, do we have no chance?"

Suigetsu's grin slowly grows unnaturally wide and feral. "I survived the purges by running for my life, for days on end, full of weapons and hemorrhaging water from wounds left by far more dangerous people than you. And I did the same when Orochimaru's goons were after me. Sorry, kiddies. You're f*cked."

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Ino sighs as she kicks over her victim's chair and walks out to the meeting room. "Really, that was a cakewalk. We need more psychology classes in the academy."

The gentlemen she tipped over whines and shudders.

"Don't be such a bitch. Come on, Shika, let's pass this already."

The laziest shinobi in Konoha shrugs and follows her out as Ino recites the password. "Dart incident." With a buzz, the doors all open, including the one to the opposing team and Choji.

Choji groans softly as he looks up form his chair, covered in cuts and bruises. "Ok... I'm alive. Did we win?"

Ino huffs. "Of course we won. Now can you boys untie him so we can get moving, or will we have to make you?"

The two opposing konoha shinobi look to one another, before deciding it best not to be sore losers against the next generation of Ino-Shika-Cho and quickly cut Choji free. He sighs in relief and squirms his way out. "Thanks, guys. Better luck next time." He limps just a bit on the way out, but quickly takes a bag of chips from Shikamaru and digs in as Ino heals a few of his wounds on the way out.

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"I think that went well." Hinata smiles serenely on her way out of the testing chambers, with Kiba and Shino in tow.

Kiba side-eyes her a bit as Akamaru hides deep in his hood. "Maybe you shouldn't have spent so much time training with Anko-sensei."

"Hm? Oh, I suppose her teachings did help, but my clan does excel in this field as well. Particularly when it comes to efficiency. We're excellent at causing a great deal of pain and instilling fear without a drop of blood shed. Most excellent when dealing with high-priority targets that need to be sold back to their villages after."

Shino adjusts his glasses. "That is… quite insightful. For a clan that publicly prides itself in combat expertise, that is a formidable secondary skillset."

Another door opens ahead of them as team seven steps out. Yoko immediately steps up for pets and to converse in beast-speak with Akamaru, while Naruto grins at the sight of them unharmed. "Yo! Easy for you guys too?"

"Indeed." Shino demonstrates by commanding a few of his kikaichu to buzz about. "It's rather difficult to interrogate someone when you're unconscious."

"Ah, yeah, I get that. I took my time knocking my two out, though. I needed a warmup after escaping those ropes."

Sasuke rolls his eyes a bit, but can't keep the smile off his face. "Meanwhile, we prodded straight into our victim's head almost as easily as Ino. Kaka-sensei taught me a good hypnotic suggestion jutsu for my sharingan, and pairing that with Sakura's medical training and natural sadism got it over with quickly."

"I'd argue the sadism, but…" Sakura sighs. "Yeah, you're right. I blame our sensei, they made us crazy."

"Nah." Kiba cuts in. "Naruto made us crazy."

Naruto bows, arms spread. "Thank you, happy to be of service."

Hinata can't keep from giggling, but despite how observant she's always been, she fails to see the short-lived blush on his face.

They're all soon interrupted as Suigetsu kicks open his door and walks out, still dripping, with his usual grin. "Too damn easy!"

Choujuro stumbles out, hunched slightly as he inspects the door. "I-I don't think it's very smart to damage Konoha property like that, Suigetsu…"

Haku shakes her head as she leads an injured Karui out, already performing some basic iryojutsu on her. "I did my best to make these wounds painful, but superficial. You should be fine in a week, but some of them may scar if you're not careful."

Atsui pulls Karui away from Haku with a huff. "We've got this, just go on with the exam, damnit. And don't think we won't catch up to you at the next one! We're the hottest team in all of Kumo, and don't you forget it!"

Karui huffs and shakes her head. "Cool it, Atsui. We lost, deal with it." She grumbles. "He is right about one thing though, Haku. We'll be coming for you one day, to settle this score."

Haku only flashes her usual gentle smile. "Well, I look forward to it. I'm sure you're all far better in a fight than interrogation. I'm sorry the cards fell as they did, but we should all make the best of the outcome, hm?"

Naruto raises an eyebrow. "I didn't know you play cards."

She turns and stares him down for a moment. "Haven't you already seen my impeccable poker face? Besides, I needed to do something to pass the time, traveling with tou-san and those appalling Demon Brothers. It also earned us a fair few hussles without any bloodshed or anbu attention."

Karui's jaw drops. "Hardcore."

Shino raises an eyebrow. "Your poker face is indeed impressive, Haku-chan. But we will have to see how you fare against myself and my family. We're among the greatest experts in the art of the bluff in the entire village."

"Is that an invitation?..." Haku's taken aback for a moment, her poker face almost shattering.

"Indeed. We had planned to run a game the day after returning from the second stage of the exam, whenever that will be."

"... Very well." This time her smile is… softer, somehow. Something in her eyes makes it far more believable. "I look forward to it. For now though…" She turns to face down the hall. "I believe it best we move on and find out what the second exam is."

Another door bursts open nearby, revealing Gaara stepping out shrouded in freshly-stained sand. "Ugh… Why must nobody take my jutsu seriously?" He inspects the blood for a moment. "I don't think they'll be able to use that hand for much for some time."

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A.N.: Finally, I'm back, and this chapter I feel is a pretty big upset compared to most chuunin exams. A little action, some psychology, some flirting, really a bit of everything without making this round overstay it's welcome. So, for now, I'm gonna get to work on mapping out round 2, expect that in another month. In the meantime, go check out Henshin Hero Academia and Getting Anywhere, or go check out and expand the Konoha's Fatal Joke TVTropes page!

Chapter 33: Limping Out the Gate

Chapter Text

Every team sits huddled around a map they've been provided, scattered around a field and speaking to each other in whispers, mumbles, and code. Naruto switches rapidly between handsigns to get his point across. Mi, Sha, Tori, Tora, Saru, Ne. Sakura hums, then repeats Mi and Sha followed by wiggling an incomplete Kai. Naruto responds with Rin, Mi, and using both hands to complete a Wakai sign. She sighs and nods reluctantly, before turning to Sasuke. He stares at the map for a few more moments before humming and nodding. "Seems most solid to me. Let's run with it."

The map between them present four separate extreme training grounds. The first is ground 44, the Forest of Death. They've heard plenty of stories about it from Anko, so they have an idea of what to expect there. After that is a great ravine north of there made in a great battle between the Shodaime Hokage and Tsuchikage. The last stretch is an urban training ground modeled after blockier industrial designs found in the northeast territories of the elemental nations. The starting points of each are labeled clearly, with the tower at the center of the forest as the start of the entire relay. One genin runs each stretch, passing their scroll to a teammate and sending them on their way.

"So, got your signals ready?" Sakura looks to the boys and they nod, each holding a scroll of Naruto's making. "Ok, we're as ready as we can be. Armed to the teeth, trained up with new moves…" She sighs shakily. "Yeah, we can do this. I'll see you boys at the end."

A buzzer sounds and the teams separate, each sending one unit to one of three proctors. They gather through a doorway into an enclosed room where they can separate into their chosen parties unseen, and given black cloaks that hang nearly to the ground to shroud themselves in and hide in the back of a cart that will take them to their destination.

Nobody will know who they'll be racing and fighting against in each stretch until the race has begun and kunai start to fly.

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Hiruzen watches the divisions closely through his crystal ball. One by one, he determines each team's likely and potential strategies. Gai's driven by pride in talents. Kurotsuchi's by terrain advantage. Team 8 by abuse of specialties and unique skills. The moment Tea 7 splits up, he begins to laugh. It starts as a hearty chuckle, then slowly turns into a full-blown hysteria. "I swear, you're going to have this whole exam by the balls by the time this is over!"

Danzo huffs from across the desk. "I must admit, I expect this to be one of the most interesting exams since our heyday. Remember when we dealt with that menace Jitekkou?"

Hiruzen snorts. "Wasn't the least bit surprised he went on to become the Sandaime Kazekage. If I recall, you almost took a spike of iron sand up your-"

"Yes, well, you didn't come out of that mess quite unscathed either. I'd say he was one of the few kage of the generation to come close to us. The Sandaime Mizukage certainly didn't measure up, and that brat Yagura made quite the mess."

"Don't remind me. Thankfully, there's three survivors of that mess out there right now about to make these exams far more entertaining."

"I don't think I've seen this many kekkei genkai in one place for quite some time. The variety of techniques should be staggering. You might even see a few new ones to pick up for your personal library."

"I'd be shocked if I didn't. For now though, how about a bet?" He peeks up to Danzo with a smirk. The man is usually far too reserved to gamble, but his competitive streak with his old rival is the one thing that can bring it out.

He hums, but the gravely nature of his voice almost makes it a growl. "I suppose that depends on the nature of the wager."

Hiruzen points to the cloaked genin visible in the ball. "I'll bet on Team Seven to make the top three in this round. You keep telling me that letting the last Uchiha and our jinchuuriki roam free is stifling their potential. I'd like to use this round as proof otherwise, and that having them free is making the rest of our genin far better as well."

Danzo's eyes narrow for a few moments. "… Very well. I suppose I can take this wager, on the condition that should you be wrong, you turn them both over to me."

Hiruzen takes a quick puff from his pipe, then reaches out to shake hands. "Fine then."

Danzo gladly shakes. He knows Hiruzen's faith in his genin, especially of this generation, is unwavering. But faith means nothing when he knows one of them is a target chosen by his new business partner.

.

.

Deep in the Forest of Death, a several boats full of cloaked genin ride up the river towards a tower at the center of the grounds. The beasts of the forest remain at a distance, but many can still be seen stalking from beyond the trees, waiting for the numbers to spread and thin. The waters are slow and calm, and everything around them is far too quiet. Every creature in these woods is either quiet and hidden well enough for shinobi to barely notice or a predator on the hunt. The plants themselves even appear threatening, a myriad of colors warning of imminent suffering and death should you erroneously make contact.

The silence is broken only as they disembark and are lead into the tower. Every genin chooses their own exit from the tower, at any angle and any floor, be it window or door. In an escape mission, one must carefully choose their exit strategy.

Minutes of silence pass on, and genin from all walks of life await the start of their most grueling challenge yet.

The buzzer sounds and the grounds north of the tower erupt into chaos immediately.

Black cloaks burst through windows in mass, while those emerging through lower floors are bombarded by a salvo of kunai- some of which explode- right out the gate. As the fireball of the explosions clears, Tetsuma emerges clad in a suit of steel samurai armor that's folded around him defensively and unfolds with a hand sign command. Another cloaked figure rushes out the gate after the mayhem dies down and trails at the back of the group.

Up ahead, one cloak flies off prematurely to reveal a green blur far ahead of the rest of the pack. Kunai fly after him, but he keeps ahead and swings on branches to avoid just a few, proving to have this leg of the race in the bag.

Down below, the river seems to suddenly double it's pace as a humanoid figure slowly emerges from it and bares shark fangs. Suigetsu surges forwards with reckless abandon, dipping in and out of the water as attacks come his way.

A kunai manages to catch one competitor in the back, but he fades away into a cloud of kikaichu that homes in on the attacker, while the real Shino rushes ahead from behind the cover of the tree line to the west of the river.

A few bloodthirsty competitors looking to thin the herd head after one who strays from the pack, but many of them start to slow and stumble after a stretch of missing all their throws and being led through some particularly colorful fields. Ino peeks back with a smirk with a vial between her lips, then leaves her would-be assailants to suffer through the poisons she led them through.

One competitor in the middle of the pack with a suspiciously humped back gets blasted with a fireball. The cloak burns away and the genin's head turns completely around to reveal a wooden mouth and eye through their charred mask and fires a poisoned kunai directly into them while Kankurou unwraps himself from the bundle in Kurasu's arms. He then starts lashing out his chakra strings to attach himself to branches and swing about at a much higher speed than his legs could carry him. Puppet masters are usually quite stationary, but he's had to adapt to be more agile just to deal with his sensei's slave-driving and his brother's foul temper.

Shino cringes as he begins to realize a sound has been building in his ears and starting to throw off his balance. He plugs his ears with kikaichu and directs them to track the source of the noise.

Kabuto grimaces and plugs his ears with seal-carved plugs. Dosu's far too much of a competitive hothead, just as Orochimaru had warned him. For now, he focuses his attention on the last major player to remain cloaked. He's already deduced who they are, his personal target for this exam. He'll have to slow her down, just a bit.

Dosu fails to notice the few bugs that track him, none of them able to get close enough to absorb his chakra. The constant vibrations he's putting off are disorienting them enough to lose their flight path completely and crash to the forest floor. Anyone else who gets close is met with a counter and a wave of crippling nausea and ear pain that surely puts them out of the race.

Everyone fails to notice a single shinobi traveling through the ground the entire time, only peeking up for a few moments to catch some air through his respirator.

Kabuto finally takes his shot, throwing a kunai at Sakura, who's avoided notice through a total lack of jutsu usage and combat thus far. Lying low has kept her safe thus far, but as the numbers die down, she becomes a clear target.

A viable excuse if he's ever seen one.

A quick throw of a single kunai catches her cloak and rips it off, revealing Sakura in her usual attire, but her top is tied down at the waist by a pink sash and similar cloth appears to be wrapped around her arms. She cringes as a cut weeps on her shoulder, but she grabs onto a branch, swings to crouch on it's side facing north, and kicks off with all her might.

Tetsuma, just a short distance ahead, catches sight of her coming and rushes through handsigns, then reaches down and barely touches the ground with his fingertips as he runs. A boulder bursts into the air and threatens to crash into her, but Sakura narrows her eyes and rears back a fist.

Suddenly, the cloth wrapped around her right arm and knuckles becomes rigid, and a single punch crushes the boulder!

The impact slows her down a good deal, but the moment Sakura touches ground she breaks into a full sprint. Her mornings jogging with Lee are paying off as she starts progressing towards the front of the pack.

Kabuto growls, knowing he can't allow this. Most of his jutsu are off limits, so he'll have to rely entirely on strategy and tools. He draws a few explosive kunai from his pouch and flings them ahead into a particularly large branch. The ensuing explosion collapses the branch into everyone's path, and only a few manage to avoid it.

Lee's stuck to the ground for most of his race and dips to his left to go around it with ease. Dosu roars and swings the back of his gauntlet into it, creating a localized sound blast that puts out the fire in front of him and splinters some of the wood in his way, softening it enough to not be thrown completely on his ass and instead tuck and roll over it. Suigetsu goes under through the river, while Tetsuma uses an earth jutsu to vault over it after it lands.

Sakura is less lucky, hitting one of the smaller burning branches off the main branch as it rolls and shifts ahead of her. It smacks her out of the air and into a nearby trunk, stunned and immobile for a few moments.

Kabuto hums contently as he passes, smirking as he's now certain she'll take long enough for his lord to complete his mission.

.

.

Far to the north, at the southern points of the ravine, where multiple branches of the fissure and sharp rock formations dot the landscape, Sasuke sits cloaked and alone, staring down to the south as his mind wanders.

It wanders so much that he fails to notice another genin sneaking up on his flank until they speak, or so he assumes. In reality, he never would have noticed their approach at all, even if he had been paying his full attention.

"Lovely afternoon, I must say."

Sasuke jumps and wheels around, reaching for his kunai pouch, but the Kusa genin ahead of him raises her hands defensively. "Oh, my! No, no, I'm not looking to fight. I mostly had questions for the last loyal Uchiha. My village and your clan have quite a history!"

That much, Sasuke knows to be true. Kusagakure is known to be among the foremost tool experts among shinobi, and the Uchiha clan sold a good deal of armaments to them for many, many good years. Despite Kusa's closer proximity to Iwa, their relationship with Konoha has been far better, with their relationship with Iwa being largely focused on a surplus in crop trade they desperately need.

Sasuke grumbles as he looks her over. An unassuming getup really, save for the obnoxious purple rope belt. "Fine, then. I suppose I have time for that." He lowers his guard, partially, but his eyes remain focused.

"Oooh, those piercing eyes. Mark a true Uchiha, there. Even the Hyuuga can't quite manage a death glare of such potency, and you haven't even activated your sharingan. I must say, I'm impressed!" She chuckles. I haven't felt a stare like that since an unfortunate encounter with your brother."

And that one word sends Sasuke's mind into a spiral. He grips his pouch and scowls. "The hell do you know about Itachi?"

She laughs heartily. "Oh, quite a lot! I first met him when he was just a young genin himself, already so focused and easily irate with the nature of things. Quite the philosopher, that boy was." She sighs wistfully. "Indeed, a prime specimen of a shinobi, if not for the atrocity he committed. Honestly, it's an event I still can't get my had around, but I've heard you were there for it. Must have been quite the grisly sight."

Sasuke grits his teeth and slips his hand into his kunai pouch. "And what of it? Either make your point, and a good one, real damn fast or this is gonna get ugly."

"Ooooh, touch a nerve, did I?" Her grin slowly spreads into something unnatural, and sickening. "Good."

Suddenly, Sasuke feels his ankles have been grabbed and peeks down to find a pair of snakes emerging from the ground and holding him down.

His attacker rushes in to strike. Sasuke switches on Moeruken in a blaze of glory and the snakes at his ankles reel back from the flames. Ankles free, he rolls back into a backflip and lands on his hands, then pushes off for a donkey kick.

He whiffs entirely and takes a knee to his spine. The following punch to his face flips him backwards and tumbles him towards a stone wall, but he flips up to stand on it's side with his two-tomoe sharingan spinning.

She takes a moment to inspect her hands and knee, and the burns accumulated there from sparring with the boy's technique. "Fascinating. I've never heard of such a jutsu, but it simply makes all the sense in the world. My my, you're proving more impressive by the moment, Sasuke!" She giggles and runs through a few handsigns. "Seeing as you've essentially removed taijutsu from the equation, then how about ninjutsu? Sen'ei Jashu!"

A slew of snakes bursts from her sleeves and towards Sasuke, who draws his sword and switches to Mahiken. The edge of his blade sparks in unison.

The chakra-sharpened edge slices through the snakes with relative ease, but a pair of them bite down on rocks to throw them at him from odd angles.

He can't manage to block both at once and takes one to the shoulder, throwing off a swing and leaving him open for a quick bite.

The poison starts to set in quickly, even with the lightning in his veins holding it off.

As she rushes in with more snakes emerging form her left sleeve, Sasuke's eyes spin and he dips into the earth rapidly.

She peeks around for any sign of him, but has her back turned to Sasuke as he bursts from the ground with his blade extended to impale her.

She whips around with a wind-enhanced kunai and counters, forcing Sasuke to skid back through the jutsu-softened earth until his feet fully surface at the end of a ten foot trench dug with his own legs.

"Excellent, Sasuke!" Her tongue rolls out as her face stretches and folds with her grin, like soft rubber across her skull. "Show me the strength of your will!"

Sasuke's heart stalls in horror as her legs turn to a snake tail as she slithers rapidly around the rocks, dipping in and out of view. He struggles to track her movements as his mind races and pieces together her jutsu into a vivid, horrible picture.

He spins around and clashes blades with her, finding himself on the backfoot even as he keeps swinging.

Her counters drive him back, and she's barely bothering to attack. Every swing rattles his bones and jars his shoulders as his technique grows sloppier by the moment.

The poison is setting in faster.

As one final clash knocks the blade from his hand, Sasuke locks eyes with yellow, slit irises. He nurses his hand, crouching and hunched. "O-Orochimaru?"

"Oh?" He starts to cackle maniacally beneath his disguise. "You already know of my magnificence? Well, I see no point in delaying any longer." A plethora of snakes to emerge from behind a boulder and ties him down to it. Sasuke writhes and struggles, but he can barely move any longer. "You've proven yourself excellent already, dear boy." Orochimaru chuckles and slowly peels his mask off, unveiling a pale, angular face and lavender markings beneath his eyes. "Should I do this now, you should have plenty of time to recuperate and complete the exam." He smirks as he pulls a vial from his belt and bites into it, sucking the concoction into his fangs.

"What… the HELL do you want with me?!" He tries to charge Moeruken, but the venom's settled in. That last impact broke his focus and halted Mahiken, and how it runs unbridled in his bloodstream, numbing his limbs uselessly.

"Oh, it's quite simple, boy. You're going to test the next step of my greatest achievement." He hums and starts shifting through hand signs. "It's quite lucky, really. When I infiltrated Kusa to replace one of their genin, I discovered an incredible new resource there. I'd thought her bloodline long gone, but now I've an excellent and seemingly endless supply of material to work with. It just to happens to mesh with the properties of the sample already in my possession excellently." He grins as his jutsu sequence ends. "This experiment should be enlightening to say the least."

"Stay… the hell away from me…" Sasuke would be shaking beneath those serpents, if not for the venom crippling him. All he can do is watch in horror as Orochimaru's neck extends and his fangs descend into his shoulder.

.

.

Sakura wakes with a groan, finding blood dried over her left eye. She narrows down eyes and glares into the distance, trying to focus for just a moment. A few quick motor tests and gently inspecting her own head with gentle fingertips confirms it's safe to stand, and she starts a basic Shōsen jutsu to fix the cut over her eye before cleaning the blood away with a little water form her canteen. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes to clear her head…

and slings her pink silk bandages up onto a low branch, a faint blue glow flowing through them as they wrap around the branch and hold on tight. Sakura pulls herself up and launches herself over the fallen branch, spotting her competitors far head as a few explosions sound in the distance. "Hmph… fine. Suigetsu shouldn't be an issue this far back…"

She takes to the river and runs along it, but soon begins to pump water chakra into her feet and skate along as she picks up speed. With a quick application of water chakra back into her bandages, she whips it out and grabs a jagged rock jutting out of the river, pulling herself to it to slingshot ahead.

Even as rapids come up ahead, she skates along on them in winding patterns to navigate the worst of it. She almost giggles, reminded of ice skating with her classmates last winter, long before graduation.

She has quite a distance to cover before catching up, but she's far from out of the race. Even leaving last, Sasuke's speed should be more than enough to make up for it, and Naruto's tricks should cover the rest. For now, she just revels in how far she's come, almost dancing through one of the most hazardous locations in Konoha's reach.

Far ahead, an alarm sounds confirming that the first student to clear the first leg of the race has done so. She doesn't need anyone to tell her it was Lee, that much was frankly obvious from the start.

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Far up the path, at the northern tip of the ravine, Naruto sits in his cloak, meditating, and just barely lifts his head as the alarm blares. Kurama speaks up in his head.

"I believe your obnoxious friend in green just passed the first line. Who do you suppose he passed his scroll to?"

"Oh, that's kinda obvious. This urban setting it best reserved to Neji's eyes, so Tenten's running the ravine. It's the most open space, so she's free to use her weapons, and although she's the slowest, she can certainly slow everyone else down, especially if she's ahead."

"I should expect to hear a lot of explosions in the distance then, shouldn't I?"

"Probably." He pauses as a new slew of memories hits him. "Stage 5B is set. That one should be fun."

"You know wars have been started over the sort of things you're about to do, right?"

"Eh, everyone signed a liability agreement. I can't be held accountable for anything in here, so why not test a few new tricks?"

"Now this is exactly why you're the only jinchuuriki I've liked."

.

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Back in the middle of the pack in the forest, Kurasu barely manages to protect Kankurou from a hail of Testuma's kunai, one grazing his left shoulder. Kankurou returns fire with a poison smoke bomb, forcing most of the competitors to scatter away from it. Shino huffs and orders a kikaichu ahead through it, and as it confirms the kikaichu can survive it, he commands them into a spiraling flight pattern that splits the cloud and makes a clean tunnel through it.

Noticing Shino rushing in, Suigetsu plans to kill two birds with one stone by unleashing a wave to dissolve the cloud and crush Shino's hive in the process.

Shino manages to hear him coming and one section of his kikaichu horde intercepts him, surrounds him, and unloads a lightning jutsu in a wide net across their entire swarm. "Hijutu: Dengeki Mushi Shōmi." (Hidden Jutsu: Shocking Bug Net)

While Suigetsu splashes unceremoniously back into the river, Tetsuma leaps across the river to intercept Kabuto. Kabuto ducks past what would have been the range of his broken blade, but a full katana instead swings from Tetsuma's sheath and gets a long grazing strike across his arm and chest.

Kabuto's eyes narrow on the blade and he catches sight of a clear divide that glows with a small amount of chakra. He groans and backs up past the trees to disappear and nurse his weeping wounds while Testuma rushes ahead towards the ravine.

Just as Suigetsu starts to get back up, he peeks back to find Sakura's foot swinging through his head. She skates across the water with ease, humming to herself as she recites the advice of an ice-wielding angel. "If you want to support your team, you have to hold your own in any chaos. Be quick, be controlled, be untouchable, and take advantage of every opening."

With everyone having been so focused on competing with each other up ahead, they left a wide berth for her to breach through and take the lead among those remaining in this stretch.

Dosu takes notice instantly and aims his gauntlet, giving it a flick.

At first, Sakura flinches and stumbles, but she grabs her head and runs another Shōsen through her ears.

She stumbles just long enough for Dosu to catch up and swing for her, but she backflips over and performs a quick chain of handsigns out of his line of sight.

As he turns around to block whatever she counters with, he's surprised to find it's not a kunai or a kick, but a quick-spit wad of dense, slimy mud that splatters against his gauntlet and plugs every hole! "What the hell?!" He backs up and tried to wipe it all off, but Sakura performs one last handsign.

"Doton: Doryūheki!" The mud wad rapidly expands into a dry wall of cracked soil, dropping Dosu to the floor and pinned by his arm.

"DAMN YOU!" Dosu rages as he fights to pry himself free. Sakura only giggles as she races ahead. "When I meet you in the next round, I'm gonna flay you alive!"

Dosu pauses as he hears a disapproving "tsk" nearby, finding Suigetsu floating by as he finishes reforming. "That's just poor sportsmanship. Ya lost, get over it, be glad you're alive." He raises the water around and behind himself in one swift wave of his arms. "Later, loser!"

With a quick push, another wave sends Suigetsu racing after the other competitors.

Dosu would have called after him with every name in his very long book of insults if not for a sudden pop as he kept fighting to free his arm. Then he was too busy swearing at everything in general.

Every competitor remaining knows better than to waste time fighting. Numbers have dwindled considerably, stamina is running low, and only a few half-hearted strikes are exchanged when opportunity arises. As Sakura nears the ravine, she pulls a flare from her pocket and fires, unleashing pink smoke and light into the sky.

But no signal is returned. No blue flare, no smoke, nothing. Worry creeps into her mind. "Sasuke, where the hell are you?.."

All the while, other competitors split up to find their own teammates, scattered amongst the rocks at the base of the ravine, on either side of the waterfall running into it. Ino passes her scroll to Chouji, who takes off with fire in his eyes. Tetsuma tracks down Kurotsuchi, who takes to the walls and ledges within the ravine. Suigetsu finds Haku and tosses the scroll before plopping back into he water to just chill. Haku frosts him over so he'll really chill before making a path of ice down into the ravine to slide her way north. Akamaru accepts the scroll from Shino before he and Kiba sprint off into the woods atop the cliff. Temari is already gliding ahead on her fan.

But Sakura still cannot find Sasuke.

It takes her another two minutes, precious time in this race, to find him unconscious, slumped in the middle of a scorched clearing. "Sasuke!" She rushes to his side, checking him over with a basic diagnostic jutsu- only to freeze as she spots the angry, swollen spot on his neck, sporting a seal of three tomoe, a mockery of the Uchiha's eyes, turned against one.

She narrows her eyes and steels her will, focusing on bringing down his fever and evening his breath. "Just what kind of seal is this?" She turns her head to observe the battlefield, taking in every cut mark, every burn, and every hole. "Something bigger than the exam is going on here…"

All the while, far up north, Naruto scowls as he silently waits, eyes on southern shy. He saw that spark of pink in the distance, and no blue to answer. Yoko growls faintly at his side. "Yeah, I don't like this either… but I trust Sasuke to get back up and finish this race."

.

.

The pressure of Hiruzen 's chakra could be felt all throughout the tower. A rage powerful enough to end nations runs through his veins and into the air, strong enough for Danzo to be wary and distant.

The crystal ball has settled on the image of Sakura attempting to heal Sasuke and inspecting his seal. In the peripherals of this vision, several warped and faded images of slain guards can be found, laid around the perimeter of the exam's second stage.

An injured Izumo kneels by the desk, head bowed in respect and shame.

"Get every Anbu, Jonin, and Chuunin in the village without students in the exam searching for that snake this instant! If he's found, orders are to report before engaging, but not to engage in civilian areas. We cannot risk him summoning Manda to distract us with civilian casualties." His grip on his cane tightens enough to crack the wood. "And get a medic team to Sasuke Uchiha immediately, but should he wake, defer to his judgement."

An Anbu fades into view in the corner of the room, then disappears with a nod.

"I will not have my failed student run free ruining more children's lives. I'll end him myself this time."

.

.

Chapter 34: Curses, Blessings, and Bombs

Chapter Text

Kiba backflips off a sideways stalagmite and away from a volley of kunai, while Akamaru remains barely contained in his hood. "H-Hey, come on, Tenten! Why me?!"

She laughs and throws exploding kunai at a few of the other spires. "Hey, it is a competition!" With on quick handsign, the tags explode and several spires collapse into the bottom of the canyon.

Kiba growls a bit as he peeks back to the competitors catching up. Damnit, no time to lag. Akamaru, let's go! GATSUGA!" They leap into action and start tunneling along the walls to catch up, leaving tunnels and outcroppings for those behind them in the process.

Some distance behind Kiba, Kurotsuchi vaults off a spike to avoid a vicious blast of wind fired by Zaku. Another blast is aimed perfectly to hit her as she falls, but she spits a line of mud onto the wall that rises to her defense. She quickly grips the wall and stands on it, letting it take the brunt of the blast and toss her further down the path. "Thanks for the lift, runt!"

"Oh, that f*cking bi-!" Zaku's cut short as Haku overtakes him on a platform of ice between some of the largest spikes, making that path far less viable for those behind her as they're left slick and hazardous. She can only smile unapologetically as she peeks back, then sink into an ice mirror to dodge an air cannon before launching herself from another jutting from the cliff above to soar overhead and far ahead.

A short distance behind him, Gaara is riding a sand platform along the wall as impassively as ever, as his shield rises to catch a few kunai thrown by one of the Ame genin. Said Ame genin then gets knocked in the head by falling rocks as Chouji passes overhead just atop the cliff, rolling past in boulder form.

But all the way back at the start, well past Misumi from Kabuto's squad, Sakura remains dead-last and kneeling beside Sasuke's unconscious form. Her hands glow as her diagnostic jutsu runs across every inch of his body, healing what few injuries she can find.

Whatever happened here was a complete shutout, leaving only a single snake bite and a few bruises, and not even any traces of poison to remove. There were signs of a poison that already passed through his system and metabolized completely, but nothing that could be extracted and treated.

The most worrying part by far was the cursemark of three tomoe formed on the back of his neck, right by the bite mark. Someone wanted to leave a lasting effect on Sasuke, but she can't even begin to fathom what it could be.

"That's definitely my old teammate's work."

She almost jumps back at the sudden voice, but peeks up to find Jiraiya kneeling across from her, barely visibly through his transparency jutsu.

"Settle down pinkie, it's just me." He grumbles and holds a hand out towards the mark. "Yeah… thought as much. Not quite as foul as the last sample I encountered, there's something more balanced about it. He's advanced his formula, and Sasuke's adapting to it quickly." He peeks up to Sakura. "How's his chakra feel to you?"

"O-oh, um…" She lowers her gaze to her teammate and focuses her diagnostic jutsu. "I-it was a lot more erratic a few minutes ago. It's still a lot more active than it should be in someone unconscious, b-but it's movements are getting more fluid and evenly-paced. More like his coils are poised for combat, and reacting to something foreign, like a genjutsu." Her eyes narrow. "Wait, no, there's… there's something more to it. There is something foreign in there, b-but it's blended so evenly. In v-very small amounts, but it's there. But I have no clue what it is…"

Jiraiya nods. "Astute observations. I'll have to introduce you to my other old squadmate. As for what, I'm sensing nature energy being passively drawn to this cursemark. Some component of it is similar to the toad oil of Mount Miyoboku. It's an incredibly small amount, but it does work. The downside though is that it appears to convert it into usable sage chakra, in very diluted amounts, by processing it through the mutated cells of the cursemark and creating a form of taijutsu-focused senjutsu that's fused directly with the user's cellular metabolism." He grumbles and clenches his fist. "The more of it you use, the more of your life is drained away. I've heard tale of a few jutsu that directly burn the user's lifespan, and usually that's something reserved to jinchuuriki."

Sakura scowls. "B-but… what could Orochimaru possibly want with Sasuke that would involve branding him with something like that?"

He shrugs. "My best two guesses are some form of manipulation through the promise of power, or there's some secondary function to the cursemark that he's waiting to take advantage of. I'm no good with genjutsu. Can you tell if there's any part of it that's impacting his mind directly?"

Sakura focuses her hands on Sasuke's neck and head. "Hm.. there's something, but it's not very strong. The way this chakra's moving feels similar to the Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu, but it's weaker. It can probably only reach him subconsciously, or unconsciously."

"Some form of mental conditioning to weaken his will and manipulate him later, then. Orochi-teme's always been the type to play the long game."

"Do you think the mental impact can be sealed off?"

"Possibly, but that's really far from my area of expertise."

"Ask Inoichi-san then, Naruto did and it worked wonders."

"Can and will do." He hums and crosses his arms. "I need to get going. Keep this between us, the Anbu shouldn't even know I was here. The less of a clue Orochimaru can get that I'm anywhere near Konoha, the better."

"A-Alright. Should I tell Naruto and Sasuke?"

"They'll know, I'll speak with them about this directly later. For now, keep quiet, and defer to Sasuke's judgement when he wakes. I don't think it'll burn much away at first, and frankly, every shinobi Elite Jonin and up has some kind of life-threatening jutsu." He slowly fades form view, and in seconds, there's no trace of him having ever been there.

.

.

Hiruzen hums as he watches his crystal ball. With Danzo kicked out, and his anbu having left to search, he's now certain only he and Sakura know Jiraiya was there.

"Excellent work, Jiraiya. I suppose now may be an excellent time for me to follow through with one of my predecessor's old strategies." His crystal ball starts to sort through images of many elite shinobi and various other citizens throughout the city. "If Orochimaru believes proving he can infiltrate us so easily is enough to scare us into submission, then he's completely forgotten the unerring Will of Fire."

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Across the expanse of the second leg of the relay, Naruto remains seated as he watches to the sun begin to set. The land is bathed in his favorite color, and high above it, a gentle purple graces it that he can't help but find comforting. Every color of the sunset means something to him, really.

The orange is certainly himself, and his ambitions. The reds right at the horizon recall his mother's hair in the singular photo Hiruzen shared with him.

The gold of the sun is his father, the brilliant Yellow Flash, a beacon and goal for him to follow and mirror.

The pinks that drifts from there into the ether are Sakura, whose grown to feel much like a sister to him. She's a constant presence anymore, almost as much of family to him as Iruka has grown to be.

Sasuke is most certainly the navy blues of twilight, a comforting darkness with just enough light to feel welcoming, exact opposite of his orange on the western horizon.

For a moment, he wonders who that gentle purple is. The first thing it reminds him of is lilacs, and from there, a familiar scent, and a single hug he cherishes almost as much as when Iruka adopted him.

He hums as he hears someone approaching and peeks back to see Hinata stepping up the wall and onto the roof he's perched on.

Most look into the eyes of the Hyuuga clan and just see stark white, but there's always some hint of whatever color their eyes may have taken if they didn't carry that illustrious bloodline. It's most visible in lower lights, a faint trace of something that speaks of the person behind those eyes. Neji's are slightly teal, sharp and analytical. Hanabi's eyes have a hint of amber, depicting a bright spark beneath, waiting to ignite a raging fire.

Hinata's are a gentle, comforting lilac; passionate, yet poised.

"O-Oh, uh, Hinata, what's up? Still no sign of Kiba?"

She shakes her head and takes a seat beside him, looking out into the distance. "No, it's too soon for that. He's fast, but others are faster, and someone's probably slowing him down."

He scratches his head. "Yeah, probably. I know Neji's here, so Lee was probably in round one, and Tenten's the cause of the explosions I keep hearing out that way."

She giggles. "Definitely. I think she has a bit too much fun with those exploding tags you made for her."

"Hey, it's a quality product, I can't exactly blame her."

A comfortable silence falls between them and they watch the sunset, this moment of peace providing all they could ask for, yet leaving them both somehow craving more.

"H-Hey, um… H-Hinata-chan? I've been, uh… m-meaning to ask you something."

"W-What would that be, Naruto-kun?" She's already starting to blush just from the simple use of -chan, a formality he rarely uses. He developed quite the habit of calling Sakura that, after all his years of mindless pining, but now…

"It's just… we've been spending a-a lot of time together just t-training, and catching up between missions, and I… I-I really cherish that time, y-you know?" He turns away and rubs the back of his neck, hunching slightly as he struggles to put this to words. "E-Especially, well… that one session where we first shared our futon jutsu, and you… y-you told me you really b-believe I could be Hokage."

Hinata can't keep the smile off her face as she recalls that day, how he cheered and collapsed into the grass with the goofiest smile on his face. "A-And I still do. You're i-incredible, Naruto-kun. And it's natural talent and skill like Sasuke, or Neji-nii-san. It's all your own hard work that made you what you are now." She looks to him with a wide smile. "And how great I know you're going to be one day."

Their hearts race as they both feel what's coming. Naruto knows what he's about to do, but he still has his doubts as to whether it'll work. Hinata hopes, but she can't truly believe it's going to happen.

"I-I really can't thank you enough for believing in me, Hinata-chan." Naruto's voice is just a tad shaky, and just barely loud enough to hear clearly- without shinobi training, anyway. "But… I-I wanna try to. I-I know this might be kinda s-sudden, but, uh.." He rubs his neck again and takes a deep breath as he steels himself for this leap. "D-Do you, maybe, wanna go see a movie and g-get some dinner after the exams? A d-day or two after probably, s-so we have some time to heal."

"N… N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata's eyes slowly widen and tears begin to flow. "Are you.. a-asking me on a d-date?" She can feel the blush coming, and almost overwhelming her, but she fights to remain conscious. If this is real, she sure as hell can't pass out now.

She has a few moments to wait, but Naruto finally gains the courage to look to her and nod. "Y-Yeah, I am. Will you go out with me, Hinata-chan?"

It's merely a second, but it feels like hours before a Hinata gives him a wide, teary smile and a shaky, but eager nod. "Y-Yes, o-of course I will!" She giggles and curls up on herself, hiding her face in her hands. "I… I-I've wanted to, for s-so long! I just, I-I never had the courage to s-say anything…"

"R-Really?" Naruto's jaw slacks in shock, but he scoots closer and gently places a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, i-it's ok, I get it! I'm n-not exactly the most liked guy in the village, a-a lot of people probably really won't like seeing you out with me." He grumbles as he looks away. "I-It's one of the biggest reasons I was scared to ask, but… then I remembered what you said in the field that day, about Kurama…"

Hinata slowly peeks up to him as she lowers her hands. ".. I… I-I don't care what the village, or anyone, thinks about you. Most of them are just… idiots, a-and not worth our time."

He grins and chuckles softly. "Wow, to get you of all people insulting them, they must have done something wrong." He sighs and finally starts to relax. "… Ok. I trust you. I know this won't be easy, but…if you still wanna take a chance with me, even with what people are gonna say…"

"Naruto-kun?"

"Y-Yeah, Hinata-chan?"

He blushes deeply as she leans in and looks him right in the eyes. "B-Be sure to catch me in a second after I do this, o-ok? As for what everyone else thinks… t-they can all go to hell for all I care." She grins, then kisses his cheek, and half a second later, her adrenaline rush fails against her anxiety, and she passes right out.

Naruto catches her and stares for a moment, mind reeling, but then he props her up against his shoulder to let her rest for a while, until whenever Sasuke or Kiba start getting close.

He'll know, anyway. He's got a clone waiting further ahead to watch, and many more scattered around the training ground further north.

They all get a bit of a shock when Naruto makes another clone and disperses it quickly so they can all see what just happened.

Kurama just watches in content silence, glad to see his tenant finding a little more joy in his grim life. The world around the seal grows just a bit brighter, and some of the lights above become the gentle lilac of sunset.

.

.

Sakura barely peeks up when the anbu arrive. She keeps her eyes on Sasuke, with her hands focused on his head and heart. "I have him stable. Don't pull him out of the exam just yet, he's starting to show signs of waking, and soon."

The three anbu look to one another, before focusing on their squad leader- wearing a cat mask- as he addresses Sakura in a deep, throaty voice. "Are you certain he'll be able to participate?"

She nods. "Very. He'd be pissed if you pulled him out now. Besides, I think when he wakes-" She pulls back in a hurry as the cursemark begins to glow.

The black ink gives way to searing orange, slowly spreading across his skin, around his shoulders and up onto his face, in a pattern akin to fire. Sasuke slowly rises, eyes closed for a few moments, until opening them to unveil two tomoe each, surrounded by clusters of them across his face. "Hmm… so this is what he meant." His usual scowl is slowly replaced by a sad*stic grin. "I could get used to this…"

He finally notices the Anbu on his left and Sakura on his right. "Sakura… you kept me stable while I was adjusting to this, didn't you?"

"Y-Yes, I did. But… S-Sasuke, you need to be careful about this, whatever it is."

He nods. "I'll think about it. For now though, everyone else has a pretty huge head start, don't they?"

She nods. "I've been here stabilizing you for about half an hour."

"Good." He grins once more and turns towards the canyon. "It'll be fair for them, then."

He's gone before any but the anbu captain can register. He hums as he watches Sasuke go. "I suppose he is in good enough shape for this. Although I doubt he would have been if you hadn't been here to keep his heart rate under control."

Sakura sighs and collapses. "I need a few before I can move on to the next stage."

"That's alright, take your time. We've prepared a summoning array to get you there whenever you are able."

"T-Thanks…" Sakura sighs and closes her eyes for a moment. "I'll be fine in a few minutes. Not sure if I'll beat Sasuke there, though."

.

.

Kiba rushes back to ground level and drops for a moment, as Akamaru drops his transformation and collapses. "H-Holy sh*t, I don't think we've ever use Gatsuga so long..."

Akamaru whimpers and stumbles as he tries to stand.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Ugh." He struggles to his own feet and almost falls, but Naruto catches him. "W-What?"

"Hey, take it easy. You're the first one here, you'll be fine." Naruto hefts him up and helps him find some balance. "Hinata-chan's just up this way on that rooftop with the real me. I'll make sure she's ready for ya when ya get there."

He raises an eyebrow and snorts. "Yeah, she would be distracted by you." He pauses and scrutinizes the wide grin and rapidly-developing blush on the clone's face. "Dude, did one of you finally make a move?"

"Yeeeaaah." He chuckles and laces his fingers behind his head. "We're having dinner and a movie next week after we recover from this."

"Well damn, congrats, man!" He reaches up and Naruto gladly high-fives him. "Knew my honorary packmate had to get there eventually. She pass out again?"

"Yeah, the real me will have her up in a minute. See ya up here!" He waves and pops, leaving Kiba to head up alone.

The real Naruto meanwhile gently shakes Hinata awake. "Hinata-chan, Kiba's almost here."

"Hmm?..." She wearily opens her eyes and peeks up, then turns crimson and bolts upright as she realizes her head was on his shoulder. "O-Oh, um.. t... t-thank you, N-Naruto-kun." She yawns and stumbles as Naruto helps her to her feet. "Um… w.. w-was I just…"

Naruto nods faintly. "Y-yeah, you were sleeping on me for a while there. I-it's fine though, I k-kinda enjoyed it…"

Hinata turns crimson and stumbles away. "O-Oh, um… o-ok! I suppose I'll try to be less, um.. d-distant, from now on." She giggles nervously.

Kiba vaults up onto the roof beside them and huffs as he hands her the scroll. "G-Get moving, we've got a lead but you've gotta keep it." He groans and drops onto his back. "Your cousin's the only one ahead of us right now."

"Got it." She takes the scroll with a smile. "S-See you after the exam, N-Naruto-kun!" She backs away slowly before backflipping over the ledge and running along the wall.

Naruto sighs contently as he turns to gaze south. "Of course she scouted my trap-free routes already."

"Uh…" Kiba stares at him from the ground. "How much of the third leg did you trap?"

He grows increasingly nervous as Naruto drifts off into a laughing fit.

.

.

The gas-masked Ame genin growls to himself at the back of the pack, watching Zaku, Misumi, and even Chouji pull further ahead of him. In a fit of desperation, he shifts through handsigns to rain oil down on the stone spires and throw them all off.

Oil rain falls over a surprisingly wide area, but only spreading a thin layer of it. It only takes a little to make someone moving at these speeds slip up, so Misumi almost careens off. He dislocates his left arm and wraps it around the spire to keep himself there, before uncovering his mouth and attempting a small water jutsu to wash away enough of the oil to climb back up.

Zaku sees it coming and aims himself to fall just short of the end of a spire. He grabs it and swings under, letting the oil carry his momentum through to vault over to the next spire.

The Ame 'nin grits his teeth as he catches up to Misumi, but freezes at a sudden oppressive sensation behind him.

"Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu."

Several small fireballs tear through the canyon and light the oil ablaze all throughout the patch the Ame 'nin soaked. Misumi shrieks and drops from his spire, disappearing into the darkness below.

Thankfully, a river waits there to catch him, as well as several anbu in hideaways carved from the cliff face.

It takes little time at all for the Ame 'nin to join him as he receives a swift kick to the back of his head.

Sasuke passes right by Zaku in a blur of dark, violet chakra, followed by Chouji.

Zaku growls and unleashes a wind blast at both Sasuke and Chouji, but Sasuke simply rushes out of his short range before he can get it off. Chouji barely falters and sways, proving too heavy to be impacted by the technique at this distance.

Far ahead, Gaara and Kurotsuchi are neck-and-neck, each on opposite sides of the canyon and progressing with their own earthen jutsu to manipulate the terrain. Occasionally, Gaara fires a sand bullet or Kurotsuchi will fling a kunai, but neither manages to land a hit, nor quite cares to when what matters is the race.

Both of them are stunned as Sasuke rushes right between and past them, kicking off spires and breaking them in the process.

Gaara has just enough time to witness the marks on Sasuke's face and arms, to which Shukaku screams in indignation. "THAT SON OF A BITCH STOLE MY JUTSU!"

"Shukaku, I think we have bigger problems than that right now, so just focus already."

"The Iwa woman is of no concern to me, that Uchiha bastard needs to be ground to a fine pulp!"

"I thought getting your seal fixed was supposed to make you less murderous."

"Hey, I don't wanna kill everyone nowadays! Just that bitch in particular! And your dad! And that old bat who put me in you. And that one merchant on Saboten Avenue, and…"

Well past the two of them, Haku skates along on short-lived ice constructs, but hears Sasuke catching up and peeks back well ahead of time. She runs through handsigns and aims her fingers, firing a collection of five icicles at him.

Sasuke rolls through them and catches one, using it to stab into a weak point in the cliff face and pull himself forward.

He completely ignores the few senbon that are now sticking out of his shoulder and thigh. He's high on the rush of the cursemark, riding it to victory with an uncharacteristic grin plastered on his face.

The moment the mock city is in sight, Sasuke pulls his flare and fires it off, producing a trail of blue smoke. The real Naruto follows suit with his orange flare, and Sasuke tracks him down in under a minute.

He skids to a stop atop the roof, huffing as he hands over the scroll. "Get moving, dobe."

"Uh… no, hold on a sec." Naruto's eyes narrow at the sight of the cursemark, which is now shimmering and receding back to his neck. "What the f*ck happened to you?"

He groans and drops down to take a seat. "Snake bastard bit me. Cursed me with something." He grabs his neck as the cursemark finishes receding and shudders at a spike of pain. "Was useful to get here, but damn does the aftermath hurt." He peeks up with a scowl as his sharingan fades. "Get moving already, I don't wanna lose because you decided to slack off."

Naruto eyes him up for a moment, but sighs and rolls his eyes. "Fine, I'll go. We'll talk about this after. But what the hell makes you think I've been slacking?" He grins wildly as a blast echoes somewhere to the east, followed by the shrill shriek of a very startled Choujuro. "Nobody's catching up to me.

Chapter 35: Cheers, Jeers, and Japes

Chapter Text

Sarutobi Hiruzen has been in the game long enough to have seen just about everything. He's witnessed the god and devil of shinobi in their prime, changing the landscape, natural disasters spawned by the biju themselves, the rises and falls of many smaller nations, and a seemingly immortal cat capable of giving some chuunin a run for their money. He's seen all manner of unnatural technique and the abominations spawned therefrom, cults that rose, committed atrocities, and fell, and very little could match the horrors he saw in his own pupil's laboratories.

It's rare that he sees anything that can truly surprise him, let alone drive him to openly react.

So it's quite surprising to Jiraiya when he steps into the office to find Hiruzen pounding his desk in laughter as his eyes are glued to the crystal ball.

The mystery of why doesn't last long when he discovers the old man is using one hand to flip through handsigns to select different students in the exam as they trigger every trap under the sun and blow themselves to kingdom come. Their projected humiliation is all in the pursuit of a rank that most would think they were unfit for if not for who exactly set up these devious propellants, pitfalls, catapults, and seals in such vast quantities one would think an army were responsible.

.

.

Neji Hyuuga had never been so infuriated in his life.

He's put up with so many of the foolish shinobi in his generation and their sensei believing failures like Hinata and Naruto have any purpose being here, let alone shinobi to begin with. Lee is much the same, a nobody who only succeeds in complete buffoonery on a daily basis that makes him want to research the exact combination of tenketsu to deactivate as a mute button. His sensei is almost as bad in that regard, but the man's at least proven himself to be a competent fighter with a deep enough understanding of his clan's style to assist in his work on it.

But then he too started insisting on helping his failure of a cousin and that moron she's fallen for. And so did all of the other sensei, supposedly the most elite of the village, failing to see how much effort they were wasting!

And now, here he is taking the exams, far ahead of everyone but the shrieking teammate of that ice woman who he's keeping a wide berth with, and constantly dodging triggers for Uzumaki's obnoxious traps! Every few dozen meters at most, there's another tripwire, pressure plate, loose cobblestone, or even a proximity seal, to trigger yet another of his seemingly endless supply of time-wasting traps.

Those, he can handle easily enough. At most, they make him veer to one way or the other, or make a precise jump here and there. The real problem is the countless messages written all across every surface in an invisible ink only his own clan's eyes can possibly pick up! The jackass took the time to write such things as "On your left, dumbass", "Adjust that meter stick up your ass", and "If you're reading this, you're a dumpster fire".

Notably, before all of these messages was one calling Hinata gorgeous and insisting she ignore every message to follow.

If he ever catches Uzumaki in here, Neji vows to disable the boy's arms and leave him to fend for himself out here without jutsu or weapons.

Hinata in the meantime is just giggling giddily to herself as she makes her way through the one clear safe path, with a few symbols painted here and there that are clear signs to her of it's innocence. A few lilacs, some Uzumaki clan symbols, and a few hearts tucked further along the path outside where her field of vision would have picked them up from her starting line. Clearly, the boy had prepared heavily to keep himself from chickening out when the time came to ask her out.

But Choujuro was almost having a panic attack. So far, he's been tarred, blasted with confetti and flour, had two buildings collapse into his path, ducked salvo of blunted kunai three times, had to use Hiramekarei to create a chakra pillar to save himself from a pitfall, and he's pretty sure after the tar solvent washed him mostly clean by some miracle, he was covered in some other adhesive that smelled like walnuts, and now a pack of rabid squirrels is trying to chase him!

His shrill screams echo through the mock city for all to hear.

Kankurou's quite thankful with his familiarity with traps as he rushes through alleys. Tighter spaces are a huge hazard, but the spaces above them are usually wide open. Pitfalls can be avoided on rooftops, and there's less space to set traps to begin with up there. High places are the bane of trapmakers, but there's always a way around them, or to subvert them. That proves all too true when an entire rooftop becomes a pitfall and he collapses through three floors, only to then see a message painted on the walls of all three reading "WATCH YOUR STEP".

Kin finds herself taking it slow and careful through the course. Occasionally, she throws a random senbon or kunai to find nothing, only to pause as she just barely grazes a wire. She often ends up having to backpedal away from a trap as quickly as possible, only to back up into another. A hastily avoided pitfall ends up feinting her into a glue trap on a wall and costing her a good four minutes removing herself from it.

Hibiki meanwhile is almost unseen for the entire exam, trailing through the most cramped and difficult spaces with ease with their tiny frame, and blasting holes through buildings instead of taking available roads.

Shikamaru takes his time, wandering the streets, following the same path Choujuro already set off all the traps in, so he's clear of all threats and still able to pass the test, surely well before two teams who're down for the count after Sasuke f*cked up their mid-stretch runners. No matter how slow he is, passing is in the bag, and he'll be fresh and ready for whatever may be next.

He takes a moment to wave at Yoko as he spots her watching, and she nods and rushes to catch up with Naruto as he takes one of the few clean routes he designed to get far, far ahead of everyone but the two Hyuuga.

Eventually, Naruto saunters across the finish line with a sh*t-eating grin, still hearing Choujuro's screaming in the background. The end of the road is marked with a long crimson line of tape, and bordered by a pair of anbu. Getting to the end, he tosses the scroll to his dad, walks over to Hinata, and plants a kiss on her cheek. "I knew this exam was gonna be fun."

Hinata turns crimson and giggles faintly. "W-Well, you sort of think just about anything that's not boring is fun… no matter how dangerous it is."

"Speaking of dangerous." Iruka raises an eyebrow with a smirk. "Don't you think it's kind bold of you to kiss Hinata in front of Neji?"

"Nnnnope." He grins as he peeks over to the more arrogant Hyuuga, watching him seethe against a wall as they await the end of the test. "So, Sakura and Sasuke get here yet?"

"Yeah…" His smile drops and he nods back to the nearby building. "Leave a clone here, you're gonna want to be there in person to discuss what's up with Sasuke."

Hinata pulls away from the real Naruto, but quickly finds him replaced by a clone at her side. "I-Is this about why Sasuke was so delayed this round?"

"Well, obviously either the civilian medic was debilitated in the forest, or the Uchiha prodigy let his pure bloodline get to his head." Everyone turns to Neji as silence falls.

Suddenly, Neji yells in pain as Yoko bites at his ankles from behind. He attempts to jab her, but she bursts into foxfire and disappears, leaving him to turn his eyes on and reveal the real Yoko as she surfaces from the dirt beside Naruto and Hinata. "Really? I thought Hyuuga were supposed to be more polite than that."

Neji's eye twitches. "How the hell have you started talking?"

"Maybe you'd get it if you weren't so blind. Hinata figured it out right away, and knew all the prerequisites months ago."

Neji growls and steps forward, but gets cut off by Hibiki popping up from the earth and across the finish line between them. They sigh and raise their goggles, cracking their neck before tossing the scroll to Iruka. "Not a bad test." They peek over to Naruto. "Were those your traps?"

"Hell yeah they were! Whatcha think?"

The hum and pinch their chin. "Good question… certainly some of the best I've seen, but you need more that can stand up to high firepower."

"Yeah." Naruto's clone groans and hangs his head, causing HInata to giggle at his side. "I've been working on that. Zabuza just tanked the biggest thing I could throw at him, and more I try to find a way around that kinda power, the more obnoxious it gets!"

"Yeah, I haven't seen many trappers have much luck with demo teams. Good luck figuring that one out." They shrug and saunter their way into the building to meet with their team inside.

Naruto hums. "Shoulda figured Hibiki'd be next. Ok, after them should be…"

"The boy from Oto." Hinata hums as she watches to the south. "I can see him, he'll be here momentarily. The jutsu he's using is… odd."

"Odd how?"

Neji's eyes narrow as he watches. "Those tubes in his arms… they're far from natural. Some kind of surgically implanted ninja tool that compresses and fires large amounts of wind chakra."

"Ooo, more fuuton to study, awesome!" Naruto rubs his hands together. "Compression is a nice touch, takes a lot to control, or a good seal."

"The hell does a buffoon like you know about seals?"

Naruto snorts. "Try to have an actual conversation with Tenten. I'm her supplier."

"I'll have to dissuade her from wasting time and money on fated trash."

"Ya know, living on the streets half my life, I learned a few things about trash." Neji's eyes widen, and for a second, he can hear the blood rushing around his eyes as he takes in every minute detail of Naruto's petty smile and tired, burning eyes. "People throw away such useful, valuable things for the dumbest reasons."

Noticing how his face has fallen, Hinata musters up the courage to hug him and kiss his cheek. "A-And you're strong enough to salvage yourself."

HIs grin returns, ear-to-ear. "Eh, mostly. I have dad to thank for a lot of that. And you've gotten me polished to a shine!"

Neji grumbles and shakes his head. "The elders will be quite displeased to hear you're galavanting with him of all people."

Iruka steps in. "I don't quite think Hiashi minds. And since when did the prodigy of the branch family care what the elders thought?"

Neji scowls and falls silent, just as Kankurou touches down at the finish line. "Uuuh… what kinda sh*t did I just walk into?"

Inside, Naruto is inspecting Sasuke's new seal, with a Kurama-possessed clone beside him, and Jiraiya just behind them both. "Real piece of work. More balanced than Shukaku's last few attempts, but horrendous nonetheless. The energy I'm getting off this is almost as toxic as mine when I'm pissed off."

"That says a hell of a lot." Jiraiya grumbles. "Think your brother's sealing expertise might be useful for looking into this one a bit more?"

"Potentially, getting him to agree might be a little tougher. It is his personal field though, so it might work. And it's a big enough leap in the right direction to give him ideas for new seals down the line that won't be half as bad as his usual."

Naruto shrugs. "Can't hurt to try. What's really bugging me is.." He pauses. "Ah, we have a guest incoming. It's cool, she can help."

With that, Hinata steps in, waving Shino off as she shuts the door. "So, your clone said you needed a closer look at a seal?"

He nods. "Yep. Try your byakugan here on Sasuke's shoulder, see what you can get out of it."

Sakura nods in agreement as she slumps half asleep in a nearby chair. "Good move, her perspective can be a huge help. Better grasp on how his chakra is flowing."

Hinata can't help but smile at the praise. "Thank you, Sakura-san. I'll give it my all!" She steps up and activates her eyes, getting a close look. Silence falls, but Naruto notices all too easily how her leg bounces and twitches, and her face slowly contorts to a grimace. "Oh… oh dear. This… may be one of the most complicated and dangerous seals to remove we could ever find."

Jiraiya groans and leans back. "I was afraid you'd say that. Lemme guess. Same reason as the Caged Bird Seal?"

She nods. "Indeed. It's a three-dimensional seal burrowed into his body and attached to his chakra system to the point of integration."

Naruto promptly facepalms, and the echoing smack jolts Sasuke awake. "H-huh?" He peeks back to Naruto and the angry red handprint on his face. "... That bad, huh?"

"It's literally fused to your chakra system, and it's some three-dimensional bullsh*t the old perv and I can't even see most of."

"f*ck." He drops his head back into the sheets and groans.

Sakura takes a seat next to his head, reaching over and carding her fingers through his hair. "Hey, we'll figure this out. I'm sure they're both running through a million possible methods for handling it right now."

Jiraiya grumbles. "Without seeing it in detail, our options are incredibly limited."

Kakashi peeks up from his book in the corner of the room. "What about getting some Yamanaka involved to view Hinata's memory of the seal?"

Naruto hums. "Considered it, but we can't work with that until we get back to the village. Ino's nowhere near good enough for that yet. I trust Inoichi with it, though."

Sasuke nods. "Wouldn't mind that. He's already my therapist, so he'll probably be hearing about this anyway."

Kakashi hums. "WIll be an issue to some degree, but once we're back, we can go straight to him. Might want to pick up Anko on the way as well."

Naruto nods. "Yeah, kaa-san's seal should be studied for differences. Fourteen years between versions is probably a big difference, but it should give us some insight." The room falls silent for a moment, and he slowly raises his head. "What?"

Sakura smirks. "So she's "kaa-san" now, huh?"

He slowly turns red, but flips her off. "S-She gets me, alright? And gave me some really great advice I honestly really needed for today…" His blush slowly grows deeper as he peeks over to Hinata. "I probably wouldn't have asked you out if not for her."

Sakura jumps out of her chair and knocks it over. "YES! Ino owes me ten thousand zeni!"

Hinata eeps and pulls her hood up to hide in, while Naruto just stares blankly, then turns to Sasuke.

"... Fine, yes, you were right that she'd bet on this. I owe you five thou. But really, Sakura?"

"Hey. I know my boys, and I'm a broke civilian girl. I'm gonna take everything I can get."

He hums and closes his eyes. "... You're doing remarkably well for someone civilian born. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were Tsunade's own granddaughter."

Sakura freezes, falls silent, and tries to reboot, while Hinata giggles softly at just how red Sasuke seems to be turning. "W-Well, that's a good step forward."

Naruto nods. "Smooth, Sasuke. Damn smooth."

.

.

In the common lounging space of the former anbu building, Shikamaru lays back on a couch and yawns as he awaits the next leg of the test. Ino steps up and shoves his legs off to make room before plopping down next to him. "You're in no position to be yawning, Shika. You barely did anything in the last test!"

"Yeah, and I saved energy for the next part." He pushes himself upright and sits beside her, staring ahead as Temari and Gaara take a seat across from them. "Ah, you two. Naruto told us a bit about you. I'm Nara Shikamaru, this is Yamanaka Ino. You must be Temari and Gaara, two of the Kazekage's kids."

Temari shrugs it off. "Well, smart to look into your enemies, I suppose. You two must be in the new generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio, then."

Ino shrugs. "Eh, not all it's cracked up to be. Our dads are just embarrassing, the title's more annoying than anything. We gotta get big enough to earn our own name."

"Temari smirks. "Well, that's an ambition I can get behind. Being stuck in our father's shadow may have a few political and financial perks, but it's most people kissing our asses for no reason and our achievements being equated to his work."

Gaara mumbles. "He's never raised a finger to train any of us."

Shikamaru nods somberly. "Well, the fact you've gotten here regardless says that it's all your own talent getting you here."

Gaara's eyes narrow as he looks down to his hands, and the sand that swirls around them.

"You too, Gaara." He peeks up to find Shikamaru's stern eyes. "I know Naruto well enough to figure out what he meant, and what's up with you. You might have a bit of an edge, but it's no different from a kekkei genkai. A strong one, yes, but you've clearly got a strong grasp on that power."

Ino stares at them both for a moment, until it finally clicks. "Ooooh, right. Yeah, we're cool with that. Found out about the Kyuubi a couple weeks ago."

Gaara's frozen in shock for a moment, as is his sand, indicating equal shock for his tennant. Eventually, Gaara shakes his off and his tensed shoulders go slack. "How do you not fear him? The Kyuubi is the strongest and most dangerous of all."

Shikamaru snorts and grins. "Maybe, but he's not so bad. Interesting conversations at least, if a bit sad*stic at times. Never spoken with anyone so old and experienced before, so it's insightful."

Temari pauses, but slowly peeks over to her brother. "What… W-What's yours like, now that he's calmed down?"

He stares at her for a moment, same blank expression as always. "Shukaku is… impressed that you chose to ask. As for his personality…" He hums and things it over for a moment. "... He is consistently loud and obnoxious, but at the very least, his lack of inhibition makes him a decent source of unorthodox insight and spontaneity. He has a bit of sage advice and odd bits of wisdom here and there, as old as he is, but largely seems to be a passionate fool with a handful of knowledgeable obsessions."

Shikamaru can't help but shudder. "Ok, we're kinda lucky you two ended up with who you did. Swapping biju would be fuel for an apocalypse."

Gaara's eyes slowly widen as realization sinks in. "I would very much like to stop imagining this now, but I cannot."

"Blame Naruto." Ino grins. "He's driven all of us mad."

Temari rolls her eyes. "Now I'm starting to wonder if the whole 'strong shinobi are crazy' rule is a result of what it took to get that strong, or if they were already crazy and that insanity is why they could take the risks that got them there."

"I'm considering writing a psychological thesis about that. More than enough evidence to go around, but it'll be a long project."

"Shukaku wishes you luck. He considers himself a bit of a scientist as well, and wants to provide you with more historical evidence from his own encounters."

.

.

Hours later, the remaining teams and their sensei gather in a large concrete room, waiting on railed walkways along opposite walls. Unlike the Ground 44 tower's test chamber, this one lacks the giant hand statue, but instead has a more natural setting, with a small waterfall along one wall, some bamboo grown in all four corners, and rich, mulchy soil below. Upon the third balcony stands Hiruzen, a very agitated Anko, and a stocky cat-masked Anbu.

Below them, on the main walkways, stand Konoha Teams 7, 8, 10, and Gai, and teams from Iwa, Kiri, Suna, and Oto. Twenty-four genin in total remain.

Hiruzen steps to the edge of his balcony and raises his hand, guiding everyone to attention. "Not once in my many decades in this office have I seen such a promising generation of shinobi to rise the ranks." A proud grin layers and folds the many wrinkles in his weathered face. "Had I the authority to, I would promote each and every one of you this instant. But, sadly, the purposes of these exams, and frankly what would appear as blatant favoritism due to how many from my own village have come this far, prevents me." A few chuckles and quiet cheers fill the room. "Yes, yes, you all deserve to be quite proud of yourselves for coming this far. It is no easy task, rising above the rank and file of your village and proving yourselves to be forged stronger. But, I regret to inform you, this forge will only grow hotter from here. Steel yourselves, ensure your mettle is strong enough to last."

He smirks as he receives two long rows of confident or defiant faces, save for Gaara and Shino, as impassive as ever, and Shikamaru feigning sleeping on his feet. He must fight to not roll his eyes at the Nara boy's antics.

"Seeing as so many of you have passed, but only a few may graduate from this exam, we will be holding an elimination round here and now. I wish you all luck moving forward in representing your villages, your clans, and your own worth as a shinobi." He turns back to Anko and nods.

She gestures towards the giant monitor above. "Your names have all been entered for randomized lots to cover twelve matches. Once the matchup is called, you have every right to back out if you know it's a fight you can't handle. Any shinobi worth their merit knows when they're in above their head, so weigh your options carefully. If you're too injured to battle, step out now. If you need to see how much effort you'll have to put into your opponent first, feel free to wait. The remaining competitors after the elimination round will move on to the final tournament. You brats better bring your best here, or you won't get to show it off to the judges there and earn your rank!" She grins. "We expect great things out of you, be sure to prove us right." She steps up to the edge to look out among the students more clearly. "Does anyone with to withdraw now?"

Silence greets her, and her grin widens.

"Oh, you kids are a blast. Then let the matches begin!" She whips around and points to the screen, suddenly shifting randomly through every potential matchup,

Every genin's eyes are glued to the screen, weighing up their potential matches, debating worst outcomes and best matchups. Some fiddle with their tools anxiously, some pray to silent deities, and others hear the blood rushing through their ears.

The first match is called, and a pair of brown eyes meets a single beady eye surrounded by bandages.

"Higurashi Tenten and Dosu of Otogakure, take your places in the arena!"

.

.

A.N.: I'm baaaack…

The elimination rounds have begun, and ooohohoho do I have magnificent plans for them. As for what took me so long, 1 part planning this arc after randomizing matchups, and 9 parts holiday game releases, holidays, romantic obligations, and family events back to back. BUT, I'm back on it, a new chapter of Henshin Hero Academia will be soon after this, and the prelims will go by FAST, covering a good 4-5 chapters for all 12 matches. I have them decided already, and a lot of these are matchups I've never seen in any other fics, let alone in canon. So expect great things!

Chapter 36: Give It Your All

Chapter Text

Tenten saunters down the steps and into the arena with a confident sway one would expect of either a fool or a kage, twirling a pair of kunai in alternating patterns as she calculates a dozen different approaches.

Dosu on the other hand stalks his way out, stiff and hunched as ever, fingers twitching as he runs through a few dozen options for ways to maim a konoha shinobi in their own village, in front of their kage, and get away with it. His jutsu don't allow for much in brutality, focused more on pure efficiency, but he can probably make her endure a lot of pain before she gives in, surely.

Soon enough, they face each other in the center of the arena, and await Anko's signal in silence. The waterfalls behind them babble into the pools beneath them gently. The bamboo sways gently in the breeze blown through the high windows. For all the serenity surrounding them, absolute mayhem waits within.

"... Hajime!" Anko leaps back, and both genin leap into action.

Tenten draws a few quick kunai and flings them out in one swing, but Dosu slips between two and blocks the third with his gauntlet.

Immediately, Tenten stumbles and kneels from the intense ringing in her ears. Her vision splits and blurs, and she barely notices a gray blur rushing her amidst the browns and greens of the arena.

She backs away with a leap and lands against the wall, standing there as she pulls out a scroll. "Nice trick, bastard. Try mine!"

Just as Dosu rushes her on the wall, she jets off with a chakra-enhanced jump and tears across the arena, skidding to a stop on the mulch halfway across.

You don't train daily with two taijutsu nuts and a perfectionist without learning to keep up somehow.

With a quick pulse of chakra, she throws her scrolls up and starts to unload salvo of weapons from them. "Sōshōryū!"

The damage to her ear has her balance and aim off by a good deal, and Dosu is having no trouble ducking between her attacks and blocking a few with his gauntlet. Every deflected kunai or tanto causes more damage, but the occasional burst of caltrops is limiting his mobility and giving her more of an edge by the moment. They remain neck and neck, but Dosu grows increasingly infuriated by her resilience. "Why the HELL won't you just give up already?!"

Tenten starts to chuckle as she throws, and that gives way to laughter as she runs a glowing hand over her ear while pulling a third scroll from her back and flinging it open. Suddenly, a massive cloud fills the arena and blind her competitor and all viewers. Dosu backs away rapidly to avoid whatever's coming, keeping his ears peeled for whatever's to come.

Off to the side, Naruto chuckles as he his eyes gain a crimson glimmer for just a moment. "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

"Listen here, you arrogant little sh*t…" Tenten huffs as she kneels in the smoke. "My sensei, if not for being a laughable fool, could be considered Konoha's second-place sad*st off his training regimen alone. My teammates are both taijutsu freaks who run circles around me, literally, and either specialize in breaking bones and concussing or causing insane internal damage. One is a loudmouth with no self-preservation instinct, and the other's a stuck-up elitist. And yet I go home from all of that to relax by working in a room so hot and loud most people would consider it torture."

As the smoke clears, she stands among three unfurled and scattered scrolls. She's completely unarmed, but her hands are prepared in a half tora sign. "You really think a little ringing in my ears is gonna stop me?"

Suddenly, the kunai behind and to Dosu's sides light up. He attempts to run, but they start to explode before he can get more than a few sprinting steps away, slowed down by scrambling straight into a caltrop patch.

He catches a blast in the back and flies forwards, tumbling across the field of weapons and ending up shallowly stabbed and cut by several, including about a dozen caltrops stuck to him and his coat. Where he rolls to a stop, he peeks up to find Tenten kneeling with a tanto to his throat. "Now do I have to blow your ass up again, or are we done here?"

Dosu growls and twitches beneath her. His back hurts like hell, moving at all is painful, but he refuses to give in without getting something out of it. He pushes himself up with his left hand while reaching for her tanto with his right. He intends to block and throw her off with a point-blank sound jutsu.

That falls apart when her reaction time proves far faster, stabbing into his elbow and pinning his arm and weapon to the ground.

Anko hums. "Not bad. Alright, Higurashi Tenten wins! Dosu, stand down and return to the catwalk. A medic will be with you shortly. Tenten, you'll have to give him the tanto for now, the medics will retrieve it."

Tenten sighs and stumbles to her feet. "It's cool, I have hundreds." She wanders back to the stands, quickly met by a medic nin checking her ear. "Ugh, I feel like Neji jabbed me there."

Neji hums. "Normally not a target point we use, but an interesting option most people don't focus on defending."

"Neji, shut the hell up, I'm in no mood for your sh*t right now."

For once, he's actually silenced. She's been incredibly cross with him ever since the incident during joint training where she slapped him.

On the other end of Konoha's catwalk, Sasuke hums as he eyes the many scattered weapons being picked up. "She knew her aim was too thrown off to rely on accuracy, so she intentionally threw her explosion-carved kunai harder and further, so she could force him to back up into the blast zone. An excellent backup plan, and reliable even when her aim isn't impaired. Turning every move into something multi-purpose by rigging the battlefield."

Naruto's almost got his mouth watering as he leans over the railing. "Imagine what kind of absolute f*cking mayhem she and I could do if we teamed up."

Kakashi perks up from his book with a hundred-mile stare and a shiver. "Uuughghguhgugh. Great, it's only a matter of time before you recreate sensei's infamous one-man army maneuver."

"Like I wasn't gonna try anyway."

"The second match has been decided!" Anko calls out from the stands. "Hyuuga Hinata vs Akiyama Hibiki!"

Naruto's eyes quickly turn to his girlfriend as she makes her way down the steps. "You got this! Kick their ass, Hinata-chan!"

She giggles softly as she approaches Hibiki, who stands casually across from her, sunglasses hiding their gaze and masking their thoughts.

"Well, he's pretty confident in you. If you've got his attention, I guess I shouldn't bother holding back, huh?"

She hums and tilts her head/. "I'd prefer if you didn't, actually. I didn't have put much effort into the last two tests, so I'm still feeling quite capable. You might not keep up if you hold back."

"Oh, this should be fun…" Hibiki slowly crouches, legs spread almost into a split with one knee bent as she places one hand to the floor. Her lowered hand glows as she channels her first jutsu.

Hinata slowly shifts into a Jyuuken stance, and as her eyes activate and her facial veins bulge, she loosens her stance. Her hands go limp, and her arms lower, as she brings her left leg further forward.

Neji's eyes narrow as he scrutinizes her technique. "What the hell is she doing? That stance is disgraceful. Is she trying to humiliate the entire clan?"

"Neji, shut the f*ck up." All eyes in the stands turn to Naruto, whose eyes are solely focused on Hinata and accompanied by a fanged grin. "You're right about one thing. She's going to humiliate the Hyuuga Clan with how blind they've been about her real potential."

"HAJIME!"

Hinata remains still, but Hibiki blasts the floor with a small explosive jutsu, leaving a patch of fire behind as they vault over Hinata's head. Hinata remains still, keeping her head down as Hibiki flies over, only to turn at the last second and swing both hands towards their ribs. Hibiki backflips away, leaving small glowing spots for a moment with each handstand. Hinata swiftly turns her Jyuuken off as those spots explode ahead of her, as well as another blast from behind where Hibiki started.

Hinata reactivates her eyes just in time to duck away from a palm thrust that sets off a small detonation just behind her head. She uprights herself while waving her left arm overhead and down to her side, forcing Hibiki's arm down as she brings her right arm and forward for a Jyuuken slap to Hibiki's head.

Hibiki grins as it approaches, the side of their head glowing with a yellow heat as an explosion builds.

Hinata's hand glows blue and quickly spreads up her arm. That chakra field feels the blast coming, and her elbow and wrist fluidly twist to back her way and up under Hibiki's chin.

Hibiki's eyes widen as she ducks back away from that strike, only to take it to their chin as they stumble back. A chill runs through their face, and attempting to speak is a sluggish endeavor. "What… the hell did you do to me?"

Hinata hums and waves her hands about as water condenses on her fingertips. "I'm just going with the flow."

As she rushes in to trade blows and a series of gentle smacks and pops of smaller explosions are traded, Neji scowls from above in the stands. His Byukugan activates, and he quickly assesses her technique. "Water chakra jyuuken? Rather than closing chakra points off, it's spreading to multiple around where she strikes and slowing the flow of chakra through all of them."

Naruto chuckles as he watches her take the lead. "And that water chakra is working around the fire in Hibiki's Bakuton, while making it easier to flow around the blasts and adapt hebi style into her Jyuuken. It's just as accurate, but more adaptable."

Kakashi hums as he pulls his headband up to watch with his sharingan. "Snake style is an excellent addition. It's forceful, quick, and very fluid, circular motions that water chakra excels in. It almost looks like the two of them were meant for each other. When did she come up with this?"

"I think it was about two months ago? She's used it on me plenty, and lemme tell ya, those pokes may as well be snake fangs, that sh*t hurts."

"And the effect of injected water chakra?"

"Don't let it get to your head, or you may as well be under some kinda time slowing genjutsu. From there, you're as good as dead. Take it near your heart? Almost as bad."

Sakura cringes. "Wow, that's… actually kinda terrifying."

Ino leans over the railing. "You go, girl! Kick their ass!"

Hinata grins as she triggers a pulse of water chakra to her feet, spinning as though skating while bringing a twin fang strike in from Hibiki's right.

Hibki counters will far larger blast, bringing both hands together and firing at Hinata's arms to force her back and spin her out of control.

Hinata's eyes narrow as the blast builds, shifting her feet to switch her stance and start channeling into a counter-clockwise spin. The blast accelerates her in the opposite direction, just as water bursts up from below and forms a shrouding whirlpool.

Hibiki rapidly backs away and prepares a blast in each hand while Hinata performs a quick set of handsigns before rapidly palm-striking the water around her. It condenses into a series of three water bullets that fly across the battlefield, only to be blasted apart by two of Hibiki's explosions. The third gets through, but is easily dodged.

Hibiki dodges directly into Hinata's path as she approaches in a low rush, only to be thrown off her feet and sent tumbling into the bamboo thicket by a blast Hibiki uses to correct their course and return to the middle of the arena.

As Hinata skids to a stop, she sighs softly and closes her eyes. "Very well. I didn't want to use this so soon, but I suppose I have no choice here."

"Forcing you to play a trump card this fast?" Hibiki grins. "Aw, you're makin me feel real special now."

"Who said anything about a trump card?" Hinata's smile is almost sickeningly sweet. "I just didn't want to pick up Naruto's habit of using incomplete techniques in the field."

"Hey, come on, low blow!"

She giggles and channels wind chakra to her hands, developing a pale glow from an inch past the tip of her middle finger and down along her pinky to her wrist.

Hibiki's smile fades. "Oh… Well, I guess this is going to get interesting."

"Oh, very. I can tell you're familiar with wind chakra, but you're not very good at it, are you? Otherwise, your explosions would cause much less flame, and be more concussive."

"Let's get this over with, then." Hibiki pulls their gloves completely off, pockets them, and they rush each other. The following trade is rapid, with a series of small, deflecting blasts meant to keep Hinata at a distance and redirect her arms. Twice, her wind blades are disrupted by incoming fire chakra, but she reconstitutes the damaged one while defending with the other.

The constant threat of wind chakra blades has Hibiki on the defensive, and this has them off guard when Hinata lets her wind blades break to replace them with her water chakra coating, which she condenses around one hand to catch a blast and trap one of Hibiki's hands. "Blast style isn't designed for drawn-out fights. You're almost out of chakra, Hibiki-san."

They stare for a moment, but huff and nod. "Yeah, yeah. You got me." Their captured hand tightens it's grip on Hinata's. "But I've got enough for this." One more blast condenses in Hibiki's left hand, in an underhanded thrust aimed for the center of Hinata's mass.

Hinata reaches with her free hand and pulls Hibiki's arm aside, knowing she could lose fingers if she tries to catch it like the last one. She redirects it for the most part, but feels a searing heat on her right side just beneath her ribs, shredding some of her clothes and burning through the rest. Her jacket and mesh shirt end up with considerably large holes revealing a patch of burnt skin beneath, but she powers through and jabs a water-enhanced palm thrust to Hibiki's chest.

She stops a mere inch from them. "... You lose, Hibiki-san. I could incapacitate you at any moment."

Silence falls, but Hibiki hangs their head and nods. "Good match, hime. I surrender."

Anko nods and calls out. "Akiyama Hibiki forfeits! The winner is Hyuuga Hinata!"

Hinata steps back from Hibiki as her chakra blades dissipate, bowing with a gentle smile. "That was an excellent match, Hibiki-san."

Hibiki chuckles and stretches as they stand, then match her bow. "We should do this again sometime."

Hinata nods eagerly as she stands. "Our skills are quite the interesting matchup. I can see training together being a wonderful way to see some rapid growth."

"Well, I needed a good rival from outside Iwa to deal with. Every good shinobi needs a foreign rival."

Anko nods sagely. "Damn straight. Personally, I always look forward to a chance to kick the sh*t out of that bastard Ao from Kiri."

Choujuro cringes. "Uh, from what I've heard, that rivalry is really one-sided."

"Well, yeah, I just can't stand how stuck-up he is."

"Me neither." Zabuza grumbles. "The rod up his ass is bigger than my sword."

As Hinata skips her way back up to the stands, Neji scowls at her from across the room. "How the hell did she learn to do any of that?"

Lee is almost squealing with excitement. "Such incredible results! Her training has paid off in ways I could never have imagined! Truly, Hinata is a genius of hard work, just as Naruto and I are!"

"There's nothing genius about any of you. Her technique is asinine, and a disgrace to our entire clan! Rather than accepting her inability to ever live up to the role of heiress, she's entirely discarded everything she was ever taught!"

"Neji…" He turns to his sensei's stern, yet gentle, frankly disappointed glare. "Do not speak ill of your cousin. She has proven herself stronger than your clan's elders believed. I thought you of all people would understand and respect that."

Neji falls silent for a moment, but turns away and stares into the distance. Rather than calming down, all he can do is glare at Hinata as she discusses her battle with Naruto, the two of them obviously flirting with each other.

"Hinata, I swear on the Sage, even Kurama was impressed by how fast you switched between elements at the end there! But I swear, you must have been holding back in our spars." He smirks with a light blush. "I never knew you were that flexible."

She turns red and huffs as she looks away, swaying for just a moment. "W-Well, I need to work on it a bit yet, b-but I have been practicing with a good deal of dancing."

He hums and thinks that over. "... Maybe you can teach me? I-I really have no idea how to dance… but considering Gai has me learning two styles and jiji's teaching me a third…"

"Oh, yes, you most certainly can do it. E-Especially with your clones to help out!"

"Naruto-nii." They both peek down to Youko. "Please try not to overwork yourself, again. Use dance lessons to wind down after everything else at least."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." he sighs. "Still… I probably should learn a few slower, more formal dances for dealing with your clan, huh?"

"Maybe, but…" She smiles and shrugs. "Who cares what they think?"

He grins wildly. "Now what got into you?"

"Well, maybe you've just got me feeling a bit bolder."

"Oh, I can't wait to see where this goes."

Sakura grumbles. "These two are almost too good together."

"The third match has been decided!" All heads turn to Anko and the screen above the Hokage's booth. "Nara Shikamaru vs Inuzuka Kiba!"

Naruto quickly pulls a notebook out. "Alright everyone, place your bets!"

Sasuke cuts in first. "20,000 ryo on Shikamaru."

Hinata sends a threatening smile his way. "I'll match that on Kiba."

Sasuke's eyes narrow as he watches Kiba leap over the railing, whilst Shikamaru takes his time down the steps. "This one's… too close to call."

Shino pushes his glasses up. "Indeed. Although Shikamaru has the advantage on strategy and intellect, and can easily incapacitate most foes, Kiba is familiar with his signature jutsu, and has a very chaotic and unpredictable combat style. And for their newer talents, I can only surmise that they are most likely evenly matched, and neither has any significant elemental advantage."

Sakura's brow furls as she leans into the railing. "Turning this into a battle of attrition where the winner is more decided on who knows who better and who slips up first."

"Or who runs out of stamina or chakra." Kakashi peeks up form his book once more. "But Shikamaru has appeared more driven than most of his clan, and is very economic with bot of those, while Kiba is frequently quite wasteful."

"Like I said." Sasuke grumbles. "Too close to call."

Shikamaru stands across from Kiba on the earthy mulch, right hand in his pocket, left hand hanging limp. Kiba cracks his neck as Akamaru hops out of his hood and hops with excitement. "So, Shika, sure ya don't feel like forfeiting?"

He smirks and twirls a kunai in his left hand. Very few of them saw him draw it. "I dunno. May seem a bit out of character, but I actually feel like winning for once."

Kiba's smile grows into a feral grin. "Now we're f*ckin' talking. I've been waiting to see what you can really do!" He tosses a pill to Akamaru, and he catches it and scarfs it down, causing his fur to turn crimson as he grows a few inches taller. A moment later, he turns into a copy of Kiba, and crouch together in a low, bestial stance.

Anko peeks between them, then grins as she leaps back. "Hajime!"

Kia and Akamaru leap into action, forming a spiraling double helix as they tear across the mulched battlefield.

Shikamaru flips through a quick series of handsigns and spits out a massive stream of clear slime. "Suiton: Mizuame Nabara!" (Water Release: Starch Syrup Capturing Field)

The sticky mess produced forcesthe two to divert their paths, but Shikamaru keeps spitting as he unleashes a wild array of the sticky substance in every direction, leaving random empty patches between, but no clear path to approach on foot anywhere.

Kiba skids to a stop and grumbles. "Great, Izumo's favorite. Of course you got him to teach you that."

"Hey, it's a damn useful jutsu. And surprisingly low-cost if you have materials on hand for it." He spits two small pouches out and shakes them to show he'd bitten them open. "A little starch and a humid atmosphere like this, and it gets pretty easy."

"So I can't even count on that draining your lazy ass." He grins. "I was hoping for that."

Shikamaru whirls around and ducks low as Akamaru zooms over his head. "Don't think I'll lose track of one of you that easily, either. Now to keep you two grounded." He flips through a few more handsigns as Kiba catches Akamaru and throws him back at Shikamaru, but it's too slow for his jutsu. "Suiton: Baburu Jiraigen" (Water Style: Bubble Minefield)

He starts blowing a wide array of bubbles of all sizes, scattering them to hover over the entire field of syrup he produced.

Akamaru ends up flying straight through one of those bubbles after being thrown, interrupting his solo Tsuga as it bursts into a mess of the same sticky substance below him and leaves a thin layer coating him, as well as blinding him. He skids across some of the slime and stops in a dry patch.

Shikamaru's shadow is chasing him down immediately.

"Akamaru, get out of there!"

He yaps and growls, an electrical current suddenly enveloping him and breaking down the adhesive, before he drops his henshin, then rapidly leaps through the dry patches and over bubbles to escape. Akamaru barely manages to find a route through thanks to his agility and smaller frame.

Shikamaru crosses his arm and waits in silence as his shadow retracts, surrounded by a minefield of adhesive traps.

Naruto whistles from the sidelines. "Now that's a hell of a way to iron out his biggest weakness."

Chouji chuckles as he munches down another handful of chips. "Mmm… Yeah, he's been waiting for a chance to show this off. Kage Mane no jutsu costs a lot, but when it's normally the only jutsu most of the clan members have, they run out fast and have to be smart about how they use it. But these jutsu cost less and make it easier for him to land it." He chuckles and scarfs down another chip. "And it's only gonna get better!"

All eyes return to the battle as Shikamaru and Kiba both go through a similar set of handsigns. Kiba's ends in with his nails and fangs darkening, with that tone spreading up his fingers and all the way to his elbows, while Akamaru starts to spark on the other side.

Shikamaru hums and ends on a tora sign, before clenching one fist and releasing a dense ball of flame that slowly rises and casts a potent light. "Katon: Yūdō-tō no Jutsu." (Fire Style: Guiding Light) The light source rises from his hand and hovers sixe feet above, casting odd light patterns through the bubbles and making almost randomized shadows as they float about. Guessing their movements becomes increasingly difficult as the bubbles refract and cast Kiba and Akamaru's shadows in directions they can only struggle and fail to predict.

Kiba's eyes widen as he realizes the shadows are becoming too irregular, and he needs to move. He leaps into a Tsuga, using his earth chakra to burrow through the floor and disappear, while Akamaru takes tot he air and starts rapidly popping the bubbles with his lightning-charged Tsuga. The electrical barrier guards him from some of the adhesive, but he's quickly slowing down as he frantically pops more and more of them.

Shikamaru kneels and forms a tora sign, bringing the light source lower and up to his back, casting a massive shadow, before switching to a ne sign and sending his shadow down into Kiba's tunnel. "Kage Mane no Jutsu!" Akamaru tries to reach him faster, but ends up too gunked by the bubbles to control his spin, flopping into a larger syrup trap on the ground with very little chakra left.

Silence falls as Shikamaru kneels and Akamaru struggles to get up, pulling a mess of mulch up, adhered to his left side and paws. Shikamaru pants slightly as his chakra wears thin, bringing his hand to his throat. His own nails would do nothing, but Kiba's… "Can someone with a Byakugan check and confirm that Kiba's trapped with his claws to his own throat down there?"

Hinata activates her eyes and nods somberly. "Kiba-kun is captured in the Kage Mane no Jutsu and poised to claw his own throat out."

Anko nods and calls out. "The victor is Nara Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru sighs in relief and drops his jutsu, prompting Kiba to dig his way out a few feet in front of him. "Damn, Shika. I didn't know you had that in ya."

He shrugs and flops back. "Eh, mom used to be on a team with Izumo and Kotetsu, so once she found out I had a water affinity, it was an obvious course of action."

Akamaru stumbles over and yips.

"Yeah, I know boy, we both need a bath after this one. You especially."

Anko rolls her eyes and whistles to them. "Can you two hurry it up and vacate the arena, please? We have nine more matches to do here."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Troublesome woman…" Shikamaru kicks himself to his feet, keeping his hands in his pockets as he wanders back up.

As Kiba returns to the stands, slow and despondent, Shino's bugs get to work on consuming the starch syrup to free Akamaru of it, while Hinata pulls Kiba into a quick hug. "You may have lost, but that was a wonderful fight. I have no doubts you'll win next time."

Kiba stares for a moment, but sighs and returns her hug in earnest. "Yeah, it was pretty great. I'll get it next time. Just do me a favor and kick his in the final tournament for me, ok?"

"I'll certainly try." She giggles as she pulls back and returns to Naruto's side.

"You did admirably, Kiba." Shino adjusts his glasses. "Your new techniques are coming along nicely. Although I believe you still need to name those elemental Tsuga. Though I doubt that will be difficult."

"Yeah, but I wanna perfect them before I do. That'll be a bit yet."

Asuma pats Shikamaru's shoulder as he returns. "Well, that's one down. I'm surprised you didn't forfeit at the end there."

"You kidding me? After all the work mom had me put into learning Izumo's syrup trap jutsu, I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't at least make it to the public tournament."

Ino huffs and hunches. "So you really only won because it'd be more troublesome if you didn't."

"Exactly."

"Alright, listen up, runts!" All eyes turn back to Anko. The fourth match has been decided! Haruno Sakura vs Subaku no Kankurou!"

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A.N.: How's that for the first three matches?! I had so much fun writing these, guys. I would have had it up a lot sooner, but autism spectrum-induced chemical sensitivity and a minor CO leak had me debilitated for a week before anyone else noticed anything was up. So there's that.

Also, I've been playing Eastward for my youtube channel and a loot of editing into the finale of my Kirby's Return to Dreamland Deluxe playthrough. Even animated my own finishing move for the True Arena finale! So that was fun.

I have the matches all randomized and picked which I'm saving for last, but I'm still using RNG to decide the matches until then. You guys are gonna love how this turned out, and I'll make sure that even if one of your favorites doesn't get to move forward, they will get to prove themselves awesome.

So, keep reading, drop a review, and keep being awesome, guys. See you with a new chapter before April's out!

Chapter 37: Toying with Tools

Chapter Text

Sakura wanders down the steps with a smile and a gentle sway, and to most, she seems almost zoned out.

Sasuke knows that look almost too well. There's something deeper there, she's deep in her own head, while moving is a secondary process. Her intelligence has always been greater than all but Shikamaru, out of their whole graduating class, but after their team started to really progress, that gap started to close.

At times, when she gets like this, she seems to twitch with partial facial expressions, or her hands tensing, but always each half of her body in different ways, like having a rapid-fire argument with herself.

Little did he or anyone else know, that's much closer to the truth than any of them could have predicted. Rather than an internal monologue, it's an internal dialogue between ego and id, forming conflicting strategies and blending them together into something fluid, functional, and harder to predict. All the while, her simultaneous mental processing lets her multitask through a battle without any loss in efficiency.

Now if only her two halves could get along a little more.

"This kabuki bastard is gonna be too easy! We already saw his opening gambit in the woods, there's no way he can fool us with that pack now! So, should we go right for blowing his back out?"

"Ugh, no, and don't say it like that. He might know we've got that figured out and not be starting with the disguised puppet. Our best move is to gauge which is which with a little genjutsu-induced panic."

"Oooh, how bad we wanna scare him? Full Narakami? I've had some ideas for some real nightmares I was planning to save for Naruto, but…"

"Again, too much, but a quick flash of something that bad could help. How about some layered whack-a-mole as an opener?"

"Yeah, that could be pretty fun! Just try not to get our bandages cut, I'm sure that puppet has a ton of hidden blades."

"Obviously. I'll have to rely on water jutsu for damage until I've catalogued enough to feel safe, or get them separated."

She finally focuses on the physical world again as she takes her place across from Kankurou on the mulch floor.

Naruto, up in the stands, hums as he looks her opponent over. "Not sure what to think of this guy… I didn't see him do much of anything during the third leg of the race."

Ino peeks up with narrowed eyes. "What? But, I saw in racing in the first leg. He used his puppet pretty blatantly during it."

"The hell?" Naruto's eyes narrow, as he looks through the rest of the Suna siblings. "… Gaara was definitely in the second leg… Temari must have disguised herself to confuse us and make people in the third leg think her brother's weak, while giving us all no clue what she does."

Sasuke nods. "Yeah, I passed Gaara in leg two. So she's playing the long con."

"Good strategy, all things considered, but not much help for her brother in this matchup."

"Well, there was only a one in three chance he'd be up against someone from his leg of the race. Just an unlucky match, in more ways than one."

Kankurou cracks his knuckles to loosen his fingers up, producing strings and projecting them over his shoulders to the bundle on his back. "Hope you're ready to suffer, pinkie. I won't be going easy on you."

"Really?" Sakura hums as she stretches. "Well… I suppose that's all the permission I need to go all-out."

Anko grins as she steps back. "Hajime."

Sakura flips through handsigns rapidly, sinking into the floor in an instant.

"sh*t." Kankurou's eyes dart about. "Dochū Eigyo no Jutsu… After all the water she showed off, I didn't expect earth."

Moments after, he detects movement behind him and wheels around, only to find three Sakuras approaching him at high speed. At first, he suspects basic bunshin, but they have shadows and weight. Now suspecting physical clones of some kind, water or earth, he swings Karasu around and off his back, the bundle ripping open and producing the clacking, cackling cloaked puppet swinging blades at each as they approach.

The first clone splashes apart and rapidly sinks through the mulch. The second follows suit with a slash through the jugular. The third continues to approach, and he fully suspects a third clone to test him. Instead, he feels a sudden weight on Karasu as the third Sakura impales herself on the blades and hangs her head. For a moment, he's stunned. It feels too real to be an illusion.

She suddenly raises her head, and her face is Temari's with blank eyes, unleashing an ear-splitting scream.

Kankurou is stunned just long enough for the genjutsu to mask Sakura's bandages fully pinning Karasu's arms down and cutting the puppet off from the puppeteer as the strings are severed. The illusion fades to prove the weight was her bandages all along, and Sakura swings Karasu around to throw it across the arena and away from the puppeteer.

The moment it's out of the way, Sakura flips a kunai into her hand, backhanded and rapidly dueling with Kankurou. He blocks with his own and fires a string at her kunai, pulling it from her hand and swinging it back wards her. She backs up and flips through handsigns, then slams her hands to the floor and raises a mud wall.

Kankurou backs away from the wall, knowing a setup when he sees one-

Only to back right into another wall and almost crumple against it, as the one in front of him fades away. Sakura rushes him from behind the fake one as it disappears, but Kankurou reconnects with Karasu with his right hand and makes it fire a poisoned kunai her way.

Sakura ducks away from the first kunai and coils to leap over the second kunai following it, as well as clean over Kankurou and the wall. As she does, Kankurou grabs her sandal with his strings and pulls, bringing her down onto the wall, right on her ribs.

Sakura coughs and sputters, but quickly rolls aside, swinging a kick at his head. He ducks, but takes a solid punch to his ribs as she stands on the wall and springs at him.

Kankurou, by now, has pulled Karasu back into range. Realizing how agile his opponent is, he splits Karasu's limbs off and brings the whole collection of blades out, rapidly pulling them her way.

That Sakura falls apart into packed topsoil as it's stabbed, leaving Kankurou to freeze in his retreat as he feels a kunai at his back. He slowly peeks back with a shiver, realizing he can't possibly get Karasu around himself to attack her before he's got a kunai four inches into his liver. "That… was an earth clone the whole time?"

"Since the mud wall genjutsu, yeah. They should only be half as good as me at taijutsu, but I've been getting morning workouts with this village's biggest taijutsu specialist nutcase, so I figured my clone could be more than enough to handle a puppeteer up close and personal."

He huffs, but hangs his head in defeat. "Fine. I forfeit."

Anko nods and turns to declare. "Kankurou has forfeit! The winner is Haruno Sakura!"

"WOO!" Naruto cheers from the railing on the sidelines, with a few clones clapping and doing random backflips behind him. "That kicked SO much ass!"

She chuckles as she stashes her kunai and steps back. "Good match, Kankurou. Honestly, your control seems pretty great, but you've gotta do something about your own defenses, and get better at detecting genjutsu while multitasking."

He huffs. "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. The multitasking, I'm always working on, but something for taijutsu defense is a new project to focus on, I suppose."

"Try talking to Tenten and Naruto while you're here, they can probably give you a few good ideas."

He shrugs. "I'll consider it. Good match, pinkie. I'll be keeping an eye out for ya." He wanders off to the stairs, his sister meeting him at the bottom to discuss the battle, while Sakura retreats to her own team.

"Ya know…" Sasuke catches her attention. "I think that might be the best strategy you've adlibbed yet."

"O-oh, um…" She giggles faintly as her eyes dart about, avoiding his for the moment. "T-Thank you, Sasuke. I-I guess I really did go all-out on this, didn't I?"

"Strategically? Yeah, I'd say so. But, I think the whole team knows you're capable of a lot more than that."

Naruto grins and rolls his eyes. Well, about time, he guesses.

"Alright maggots, listen up!" Everyone turns to Anko. "The fifth matchup is decided! Rock Lee vs Akamichi Chouji!"

The two quickly catch each other's eyes. Chouji seems apprehensive, but Lee, he just grins and leaps over the railing and into the arena. "YOSH! I've been waiting for a chance to finally challenge you, Chouji! This will be an incredible match!"

A lot of students here didn't even recognize Lee at first. His usual green jumpsuit has been entirely discarded, and replaced with a loosely-tied white karate gi top with a green sash with his headband plate sewn on. Below his waist, he wears green shorts, topped with green shinobi sandals and shin guards with a white face and a green dragon pattern. His arms remain bandaged as usual, and his hair is grown out to hang loosely at the base of his skull, the tips splayed out.

Overall, Ino can't help but hum and nod in approval. "Cleaned up nicely. He actually looks competent for once! Seems you've got glow-up competition, Naruto."

Chouji groans and slumps as he stumbles down the steps. "I-I'll give this my all, I guess."

Temari huffs. "Well, this one's pretty obvious, and lucky for that Lee kid."

Sasuke shakes his head. "No, I wouldn't say so. Actually, I think Chouji's just worried that if he does win, Lee's exactly the kind of opponent who would force him to use everything he's got. And he's also an interesting matchup for Lee, with his clan's taijutsu's specialty. It really comes down to Chouji dreading that whether he wins or not, this match is gonna be exhausting and painful for him."

She raises an eyebrow. "What's that ton 'o fun got that can keep up with that obnoxious speed demon?"

Naruto slowly grins as he focuses on the duo taking the stage. "Oh, you'll see. This should be fun."

Chouji steps up and takes a deep breath to steel himself, then smacks his own cheeks from both sides, crouches with his hands on his knees, and stomps forward with his right. "Alright then. Bring it on, Lee!"

Anko grins and coils. "Ok then… Hajime!"

She leaps back just as Lee rushes forward, throwing a lunging punch to test Chouji's reaction speed. Chouji starts reaching up to catch it, but Lee strikes too swiftly and retreats to the left, leading the Akamichi to nurse a sore shoulder. "Damnit… ok, saw that coming." He just barely ducks another punch and falls back to roll away from a sweeping kick, inflating with Baika no Jutsu to enhance his defenses and make more distance.

Once further, he turns back quickly to save on chakra, and starts running through handsigns. Ushi, I, U, Hitsuji. Suddenly, the soil below bursts up and covers him, condensing and taking on his colors, forming an exoskeleton that appears to be just a larger version of him in all brown shades. "Doton: Dorotabō!"

Lee stops on a dime as he sees this technique come together, eyeing up the resulting form. "That is… interesting."

Chouji chuckles, his voice now a bit deeper with this jutsu. "What's wrong, Lee? Ya seem scared of a little dirt."

"Chouji-kun, I respect you more than enough to know this is no mere earthen armor. But, I suppose I will have to test it regardless!" He sidesteps, then takes off around Chouji to flank him at insane speeds. He aims for Chouji's ribs, and gets past his defenses once more-

Only for his fist to sink into the armor and get stuck to a tar-like mud, allowing Chouji to grip Lee by the trapped arm and swing a palm strike at his chest.

He attempts to catch Chouji's hand, but only gets his own pushed between the offending limb and his now battered ribs as he slides back with his wind knocked clean out by one strike.

Lee recovers fast and takes a moment to retreat as Chouji inflates and starts rolling after him. He leaps onto the nearest wall and kicks off over Chouji, letting the living tank chase him across the arena.

It's only when he looks back that he realizes his gravest mistake.

Kankurou and Sakura had kept their close-knit battle to a restricted area well away from all the slime Shikamaru scattered in his match with Kiba. Chouji on the other hand is picking it all up and adding both the slime and more soil to his expanded form, adding layers to his defensive jutsu and making it impossible to get a solid hit on him.

Knowing he's currently outgunned, Lee rushes up the wall and onto the roof over the balcony the Hokage watches from. "Sensei! Do I have permission to use my newest tools?"

Gai gives him the patented Nice Gai pose. "You have my permission to go wild and show us all the fruits of your labor!

Chouji unfurls and deflates, remaining as a mass of gathered mud in humanoid form at four times his normal size. Chouji's somewhere in it's torso for sure, but there's too much between that and Lee for taijutsu to be effective.

And then Lee bites his thumb and rubs it across a seal tattooed onto the back of his hand. Suddenly, a full array up his arm beneath the bandages and up to his shoulder lights up, revealing the hidden ink.

As it does, Naruto's jaw drops, and slowly forms into a feral grin. "Oh, Lee's gonna be unstoppable with this."

Suddenly, his entire right arm is shrouded in lightning, arcing to any nearby surface it can reach. With a confident grin and a burst of speed, Lee thrusts himself clean across the room in one leap and swings a vicious, electrified chop into Chouji's mud construct. It cuts in cleanly and catches Chouji in the gut, shocking him significantly.

Chouji powers through the pain and grabs Lee's entire chest in one hand, throwing him across the arena and sticking him to the wall with some of the mud and slime.

Lee hits the wall rather hard, but grabs the mud with his sparking hand and rips it away. By the time he reaches the ground, Chouji's halfway back to him, but leaps and suddenly inflates with Baika no Jutsu! The rapid expansion bursts the Dorotabō off and splatters the sticky mud all over the arena once more, hitting Lee and sticking him to the ground.

Chouji's on top of him quickly, and thrusting down a double palm strike. Lee returns the gesture from below, and the clash is a tie at first, only for Lee's electrified hand to stun Chouji's right side and result in one side being overpowered and driven up, throwing him off entirely. Lee then swipes at the remaining mud pinning him down and kicks himself to his feet.

"You've grown excellently, Chouji-kun! Your strength is superb, and your defense certainly makes up for your lack of speed. But this won't be enough to defeat me today!"

Chouji huffs and pants, down on one knee and shaking his left arm to regain feeling. "Maybe…" His speech is slurred, and his cheeks are inflated, something having been packed into them. "But this might be!" He rears his head back and flips through several handsigns that leave Sasuke reeling with familiarity. "SAKE BASAN NO JUTSU!" Chouji unleashes a wide burst of blue and yellow flame, causing a deep whistle that almost sounds like a crowing rooster.

The flames are too bright for most of those viewing to keep an eye on the fight for a moment, but then they turn back to it, it's been decided.

Lee stands behind Chouji with his electrified hand a mere inch from his back. "I must say, that was a splendid jutsu, Chouji-kun. Your Flames of Youth burn most bright, and I have no doubt you are worthy of graduation to Chuunin. Alas, this victory is mine. Your jutsu was powerful, but far too slow to be effective against me. I'm sure it would have beaten many others in this room, and in many ways, you've overpowered me. But I have spent many years training to be fast enough to make up for my lack of ninjutsu by making my opponent's jutsu irrelevant when confronting my sheer speed."

Chouji sighs and hangs his head. "Yeah... yeah, that makes sense. But it was a good match! You got me pretty fired up." He turns and extends a hand to Lee. "I surrender. Great work, Lee."

Lee's smile brightens almost more blindingly than Chouji's jutsu, then he quickly wipes more blood on his lightning seal and shuts it off, before taking Chouji's hand for a shake. "I look forward to challenging you again someday! You make for quite the interesting opponent, Chouji-kun. I wish you luck on the next exam, though I am certain you do not need it."

Anko hums and nods with a grin. "Akamichi Chouji forfeits! The winner is Rock Lee!"

Tenten and Gai are immediately cheering, while Neji remains… stunned. He's laser-focused on Lee, mind reeling at the range of skills he's just shown, techniques and tools he'd been left entirely in the dark about. "No… no, these cheap tricks won't be anywhere near enough for that fool to get anywhere in life. This victory was just a fluke brought on by facing an even greater failure…"

Chouji slowly wanders his way back up to his team in the stands, and Ino pats his back. "Hey, ya did great out there! Lee's just a complete freak of his own, it was a bad matchup. Just about anyone else in this room, you woulda beaten easy."

He can't help but smile. "Wow, you really think that?"

"Even just in our team, you're the best of us in a straight fight. You'd turn Shika's new jutsu against him, and we all know his Kagemane no jutsu can't stop your momentum fast enough."

"W-Well, yeah, but I still think you're overestimating me."

"I dunno, Chouji." He turns to face Naruto. "I think you'd give me a lot of trouble. Traps aren't too good for dealing with brute force targets. Learned that the hard way against Zabuza."

"And ya still can't catch me, runt!"

"I'm workin' on it, give me a month!"

Chouji chuckles and scratches the back of his head. "W-Well, if you say so. Guess I'm doin' something right, then."

"The sixth match has been decided!" All eyes turn to Anko and the screen once more. "Yamanaka Ino vs Subaku no Temari!"

The two blondes turn to each other and smirk, both expecting an easy fight one way or another.

As they descend the stairs and step into place, Sakura's running calculations in her head at a mile a minute. "Temari's the only one in her team that hasn't shown her skills. A huge problem for sure, but it obviously has something to do with that thing on her back. As long as Ino keeps a close eye on it, she should have a shot at this, but without knowing any of her jutsu…"

Naruto chuckles. "Ino's got something interesting up her sleeve, so I'd give her a leg up."

"Ok, what did you help her with?"

He slowly develops a feral grin. "Oh you'll see."

Ino stops across from Temari and looks her over carefully, eyeing the weapon on her back as Temari reaches for it. "Well… may the best blonde win."

"But my fight hasn't been called yet!"

"Naruto, shut the f*ck up and watch."

"That's the spirit!" Anko hunches and bares her teeth in a feral grin. "HAJIME!"

Just as she leaps back, Ino pulls several senbon and tosses them in rapid succession to guard her approach. Temari blocks with a swig of her closed fan and opens it on the backswing, unleashing a powerful gust that forces Ino to fall back.

Seeing the wind jutsu in action instantly has Ino running through nights of strategizing with Shikamaru.

Ino rapidly strafes left and around Temari clockwise, through the bamboo. Temari growls and swings again, calling out her Kamataichi no Jutsu. A large swath of bamboo is cut down, but Ino is standing upside-down on the balcony beneath her team, above the area struck by her jutsu and braced against the wall. She also happens to be right beside one of the waterfalls. "Suiton: Shigure!" (Water Style: Drizzle) several small bullets of water rush at her, splashing all around Temari as she jumps aside from the first two and swings her fan to block the others. Swinging it mid-air sends her backwards, but the additional distance is to her benefit.

Temari uses it to create another larger blast unhindered. Everyone on the stands above Ino splits up to avoid it, but she falls off and lands behind the massive pile of fallen bamboo atop the cut stalks. Much of it is blown away, but it hides her from view entirely, allowing her to set up.

This is the most common mistake made by Suna shinobi. They're so used to combat in the open desert, where there is little to nowhere to hide but beneath the sand itself. But allowing a shinobi to hide within their element is never a good move. Iwa hides among the rocks, Mizu beneath the water.

But a Konoha shinobi hidden amongst the greenery they've known all their life is comfortable and confident, and that makes them so much more dangerous.

Temari's eyes dart about, knowing her foe could escape to either side easily, and Underground Fish Projection, though sure to be difficult for her as a water user, isn't out of the question.

But living in the desert also makes you easily blind to the combat benefits of a good stream, and wearing darker colors.

Ino bursts from the winding stream to her right, and a new salvo of Shigure bullets fire away. Temari blocks the direct hits with her closed fan as she backs away, the rest splashing around her. Before Ino can touch ground, Temari swings the closed slab of iron into Ino and knocks her across the stream and into another bamboo thicket.

Seeing this as an opening as Ino gets caught in them, she rears back for another Kamataichi no Jutsu-

Only to freeze as her eyes go blank. Her scowl then slowly becomes a playful smile as Temari tosses her weapon aside.

Ino smirks as she climbs down from the bamboo she was stuck in. "Ishiki Bunshin Shinjun no Jutsu, complete." (Consciousness Clone Infiltration)

Sakura's jaw drops. "Wait…" She turns to Naruto in horror. "You taught her how Kage Bunshin makes copies of the user's mind?!"

Naruto starts to cackle. "And then she tied them to basic bunshin that're barely visible! Apparently, there's a few pretty big flaws still, but not my place to say." He sighs and leans back against the wall, contented. "Still, chalk that up to another awesome jutsu I've made."

"Orioke no Jutsu doesn't count as awesome."

"You just haven't seen what it does to Kage level shinobi yet."

Temari raises her hand and waves. "I forfeit, Anko-sensei!~"

Anko grins eagerly. "Good work, kid! Do ya have a follow-up, though? I know the clone is expendable, but…"

The real Ino waves to all the water scattered around. "You know what else I've been training in."

"Yep, that'd do it. The winner is Yamanaka Ino!"

Cheering breaks out across the room, and Ino dismisses her clone, then huffs and slumps just as Temari regains control. She looks to the girl across from her with her jaw slacked, struggling to process how easily she'd been outsmarted. "That… was one hell of a strategy. How did you manage that?"

Ino huff as she pushes herself up to return to the stands. "Well, Shikamaru may be lazy, but he's a great strategist. Being around him so much makes it start rubbing off on ya."

Temari hums as she recalls his match against Kiba. "I suppose it would. I may have to tease his brain a bit before we return home, then."

"You can try but it's hard to get him motivated." She waves for Temari to follow as they return to the stands. "So, no hard feelings about the loss?"

"Well…" She grumbles. "Some, but I won't hold it against you. It was a good fight, I just need to find a teacher with a wider variety of wind jutsu to work with. Or just start coming up with some of my own."

"Ever consider trying for your second element?"

"… That… might go a bit better, yeah."

"Ok, ok, enough yapping, everyone!" All eyes return to Anko and the screen, and the whole room tenses up upon seeing the next two combatants. A pair of shades is adjusted as the eyes behind them gaze upon a baggy pair of black-ringed emerald orbs across the arena.

"The next match is Aburame Shino vs Subaku no Gaara!"

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A.N.: Sorry for the long wait again! Life just keeps getting in the way, one way or another. The wedding last week was great, though! And thankfully, I have a lot of ideas for the remaining fights, and should be able to bring them to you in quick succession. As for my other works, the Mesopas Pokemon region is gonna have a huge update soon on my youtube channel, TotK is done there, Pizza Tower's done soon, Kakarot is done, and I may be picking up both Sea of Stars AND Baldur's Gate 3 soon! So expect a lot of interesting stuff if ya follow me there. For now, I'll see you on the next chapter~ Although the next one will be Henshin Hero Academia… or will it be a sequel I promised?

Chapter 38: Breaking Guards

Chapter Text

Shino and Gaara lock eyes from opposite ends of the arena stands, both stoic and silent. To anyone unfamiliar with them or below the rank of Jonin, they would appear completely uninterested.

A good portion of those present know all too well that both of them are curious and almost excited about this match. Gaara recognizes a careful and intellectual foe when he sees one, and they tend to be the ones that come closest to giving him any trouble. Shino knows all too well what power Gaara carries, after spending so much time around Naruto and Fuu. The opportunity to face one, knowing what he does now about how his kikaichu interact with them, is an experiment he can't help but revel in.

As they make their way down to the arena, taking their time as to run through strategies and consider each other's skills, their comrades are running just as many scenarios through their own heads.

Naruto is in the middle of calculating odds as his eyes slowly widen and he leans back against the wall. "Holy sh*t."

Sasuke side-eyes him. "You noticed it too?"

"Yeah. This… I have no idea where this is gonna go. It's a toss-up. Their skills sets compliment and counteract in so many ways that the whole thing's a shut-out. It all depends on if his kikaichu can adapt to that kind of chakra. Normally, I'd say no chance in hell, but…"

"Fuu." Sakura bites her lip. "Yeah, that's the deciding factor here. That, and how much of it Gaara has control of now…"

Shikamaru hums as he opens his eyes and glances sideways from his spot laying on the walkway against the rails. "Finally, a match I can't predict."

Kakashi feels almost tempted to raise his headband to burn this one into his memory.

Finally, they take their places across from one another on the mulch, their stares seeming almost uninterested, until Shino speaks first. "I hope you don't take my methods too personally. Even among my clan, some find my methods very… surgical."

Gaara grunts as the sand in his gourd starts to flow. "Precision is simply a mark of professionalism and skill. But no scalpel can pierce my shield."

Shino adjusts his glasses. "Even an indirect approach can have surgical precision."

Gaara slowly grins. "Then show me just how steady your hand is under pressure."

Anko smirks as she soaks in the bloodthirst, raising her arm and preparing a shunshin. "... HAJIME!"

Just as she leaps clear of the arena, Gaara's sand rushes forth to consume Shino whole. Shino responds in kind with a wave of kikaichu from his sleeve, accompanied by masses of them rising from all around the arena, having been hiding there for some time now. The plumes of tan and black crash together, and although some of the black wave crunches and crumbles, the sand too begins to lose it's form and drop to the floor.

Gaara's eyes narrow. "I see. Eating the chakra straight out of my sand and wrenching control of it from me. An excellent technique. We then must wonder if you can outlast my chakra and sand stores before I capture you or kill your hive."

Shino nods and tilts his head. "I wonder which of us has more."

Another black cloud gathers behind Gaara, only for him to turn sideways and fire a series of sand bullets through it with his free hand. "You have the unfortunate task of commanding intelligent beings. My sand is autonomously defensive and has no will of it's own to override."

"You speak as though the wills of myself and my hive are separate." Shino sinks into the earth with a few handsigns, and his bugs remain on the surface. As another plume of sand approaches them, the bugs start to spark as they collide with it. The earth chakra within the sand behind to break down, but the wind chakra resists it.

"It takes much more than a little spark to get though my sand. Your lightning casts a wide net, but it lacks potency." Gaara's eyes narrow and a small wave of sand carries him to his right and pivots him to face Shino as he bursts halfway from the ground shrouded in lightning bugs, right where he'd been standing. "And burrowing is ineffective against someone whose village is so familiar with it."

"I suppose you're right." Shino pushes his glasses back up his nose with a hum. "But are you familiar with how it feels to track anything that burrows?"

A burst of larger, horned kikaishu emerges from beneath Shino, shrouding him, and Gaara prepares to crush them in his sand. Instead, he finds the sand is rapidly losing earth chakra and the remaining wind is causing it to disperse into a small sandstorm that almost blinds him as he retreats. "Earth specialized kikaichu?" He casts a glare at Shino. "You have two specialized hives?"

Shino smirks and scoops up a large cluster of them. "Fascinating, aren't they?" He flips through three single-handed signs, and the beetles in his hand arrange into a dense carapace cluster. "Hidoton: Mushi Shuryudan." (Hidden Earth Style: Bug Grenade) He rears back and pitches it into Gaara's sand, which quickly catches the dense bug ball. He attempts to crush it, but instead, the cluster breaks open and dozens of them scatter into his sand in all directions, eating away at the chakra within.

Gaara quickly compacts a spherical barrier of sand around them, then throws it back at Shino before they can eat away at more of his sand. Shino sidesteps it and finds another small wave rushing him, but leaps away and onto the wall. As more sand chases him, he steps onto the underside of the spectator's stands and rapidly backs up along it.

He intends for this to give Gaara tunnel vision and keep him from spotting the electric kikaichu flanking him, but Gaara's sand starts to spin around him autonomously and buffet them back as they arrive. They start to spark up and bore their way through, but he raises a second wall with one hand and pushes them back at a sharp pivot with a wave of his arm, crushing that collective into the wall.

Finally, Gaara's short temper catches up, past the buffer earned from finally getting to sleep, and he sends two large torrents out to catch up with Shino. He attempts to flip through handsigns mid-air, and his lightning kikaichu rush out to block the sand and earn him a few extra seconds.

He turns out to have far too few to block that much sand moving at that speed, and it only earns him half a second and a pummeling from both sides, followed by encasem*nt in a sand coffin.

For a moment, everyone expects this to be the end of the match.

It only proves to be the beginning as the Shino in his grasp breaks apart into a larger cluster of earth kikaichu, skittering across the mass of sand spent on that attack and sucking it dry within seconds. The sand drops, and the real Shino emerges from the ground back where he'd been before his earth kikaichu first got involved.

Gaara scowls as this gambit sinks in. "When?... it must have been after you last spoke… when you threw them at me? The shield blocked my view for a mere moment…"

"Yes, and I was already half-buried. Made retreating and replacing myself easy." He cracks his neck. "And my earth kikaichu have a similar carrying strength to ants, and doubled if they've eaten recently, so the bug clone managing to walk on walls and ceilings is simple enough, just covered with a light genjutsu."

Sand at Gaara's feet slowly turns him around and leaves him facing Shino directly. "A valiant effort, but you forgot…" Suddenly, Shino tenses up as he's slowly lifted from the ground by another sand coffin. "Burrowing is a familiar strategy for my village, and I figured you at least left a large collection of kikaichu there to ambush me with later. Turning out to be the real you just makes finishing this fight easier."

After a few moments, Shino signs and nods, when only his head remains outside the sand. "Very well. I yield. That was an excellent battle, Subaku no Gaara."

All is still for a moment, but Gaara slowly puts Shino down as his sand retreats. "You put up a far longer and more interesting fight than any foe I've dealt with to date. I hope to face you again one day, and test the shinobi you'll become." He slowly regathers his sand, some reaching out to inject fresh chakra into what was drained.

Anko slowly steps back out to the battlefield with a wide grin. "Well, Subaku no Gaara is the winner! Ya both did great, though. Get back to the stands, chill for a bit, you both earned a long rest."

Cheers ring out on both sides of the arena, as they retreat to their teams.

Kiba gives Shino a quick fist-bump. "That was awesome, man! Damn shame ya lost, but that strategy was amazing! Anyone but Gaara, and I think ya would've won."

Hinata nods. "Well, there's a few others, but yes, it was just an unlucky matchup. You're already worthy of chuunin to me, Shino."

"Am I correct in assuming you're certain Naruto would beat me as well?"

"I know I'm biased, but I'm also critical enough to know I'm right."

"Point taken and accepted."

Kurenai rolls her eyes a bit. "All three of you have done great out here. Honestly, Hokage-sama looks so impressed, I wouldn't be surprised if he gave you two promotions even without getting to the finals."

Hiruzen's eye twitches as he overhears her. "Yes, go ahead, spoil that one why don't you? I don't get to do much from my desk, let me enjoy what I can, damnit."

When Gaara returns to his siblings, Karkurou's giving him a wide grin. "Ya did damn good out there, little bro. Had no doubt you'd win, but that's the most effort I've seen ya put into a fight. Your strategies are improving pretty fast."

"Well, I had to pick up some of it from your ramblings at some point, not to mention Shukaku doing much the same constantly… although his rambles are more along the lines of more vicious ways to end a fight, but they tend to have merit."

Roshi chuckles from nearby. "At least he's not a glutton. Son keeps talking about all the delicacies he's tried over the millenia before he was sealed, and begging me to find some of them for him. Thankfully, he's got good taste in sake."

Temari sighs. "Great, you get the gourmand, and we're stuck with the madman. I'd kill for us to have yours so we have a good excuse to eat out more often."

"I wouldn't mind trading, his tastes are expensive and sating him costs me a fortune. You're a Kage's kid, that must be chump change for you."

"You'd be surprised," Gaara grumbles. "Father's terrible with the village's finances."

"Alright, time for the next round! Our next randomized combatants are Matsumodo Tetsuma vs Zaku!"

"Finally!" Zaku stretches his arms as he makes his way down to the arena. "About time I got to slaughter one of you little bitches. But did it have to be the Iwa dipsh*t in armor? The hell kinda shinobi wears armor?" He stops across from Tetsuma with a vicious grin. "I guess it might be fun to kill a samurai wannabe."

Tetsuma cracks his neck and grips his katana, shifting into a slow, wide stance.

Hiruzen's eyes narrow at the sight of it. "Ya talk a big game, but I have yet to see a damn thing out of you that backs it up."

Anko rolls her eyes as she walks up the wall and out of combat range. "Talk's cheap, kiddies. HAJIME!"

Zaku thrusts both open palms towards Testuma and exposes the holes in his palms with a manic smile. "Zankūha!" (Decapitating Air Wave)

An overwhelming blast of pressurized air bursts from his hands, rushing at Testuma and tearing a trench through the mulch in the process. A massive clang echoes through the chamber as his target's struck, kicking up a dust cloud that shrouds everything for a few moments.

Eventually, it clears enough to see Testuma kneeling there with the plates of his samurai armor rearranged and sealed together. His katana is stabbed into the ground, with his shoulder pads and gauntlets reshaped into a wedged shield in front of it. Although he was clearly pushed back, the edge split the air blast and diverted most of the impact to thinner trenches on each side of him.

He huffs and slowly stands, keeping the repositioned plates over his left hand as a shield, seemingly attached to his fist directly. "Ya know, too many shinobi are just goddamn predictable. Loud-mouthed jackasses like you are always too damn proud of some overpowered jutsu they think is the hottest sh*t this side of the Valley of End."

Zaku growls. "Shut the HELL UP! ZANKUHA!" He fires another, staggering a blast from each hand at an irregular interval.

Testuma blocks the weaker blasts with his shield hand as he slowly approaches. "And the moment the one thing you're good at goes out the window, you have nothing. And most of those hotheaded bastards all sling a mid-range ninjutsu they think is a quick ticket to the top."

"QUIET, DAMNIT!" Another blast of air rips through, and this time, Tetsuma rearranges and folds the metal plates into a flat plane with just a pulse of chakra, holding it at an angle as he sidesteps most of it and brushes off the rest.

"I know shields and armor aren't really a shinobi's bread and butter, but damn do they do a good job at making co*cky little sh*ts like you just goddamn useless."

"I'LL SHOW YOU f*ckING USELESS!" Zaku charges chakra into his arms until the holes in his hands glow. "ZANKUKYOKUHA!"

An overwhelming blast rips through the arena and shrouds the entire battle in a dust cloud as mulch and misted water fly into the spectator stands. A few people are bonked with an errant piece of broken bamboo.

It takes a full minute, but the dust eventually settles enough to see Testuma standing with his katana to Zaku's throat, with his armor discarded and sporting a massive dent in his chestplate, revealing the mesh shirt and light vest he wore beneath. If he'd been wearing that armor at the time, it would have caved his chest in.

Zaku growls darkly. "You… really think I'm gonna yield? I'll f*cking kill us both here and now first!" He aims his palms up towards him for another blast, but cries out as Tetsuma pivots and slashes the blade through both his palms and over both holes.

"I wouldn't recommend using that jutsu again when you're likely to destroy your own hands in the process, but what do I know? Go ahead, give it a shot."

Zaku grits his teeth as he weighs his options. Part of him wants to go down fighting, but he's already been warned that his implants are valuable and sensitive. Any damage to them can result in catastrophic injury if used before repair.

After a few moments, he sighs and hangs his head in shame. "Fine. I yield…"

Tetsuma quickly resheaths his sword and walks off without a word, picking his armor up along the way, as Anko returns. "And the winner is Matsumodo Testuma! Zaku, head out the west wing exit for treatment, we have iryonin waiting there to heal you."

"Yeah, I f*cking noticed…" He growls out, then calls up to the stands as he passes. "Kin, you better f*cking win your match!"

Kin huffs and flips him off from the stands, but seems clearly far more relaxed the moment he's out of the room and she's the only remaining member of her team.

Tetsuma grumbles as he tries to repair the dent in his armor with his kekkei genkai, but his control isn't quite refined enough to fix such an uneven dent. There's always another bump or nick to correct, and fixing those tends to make others. "Damnit, this is gonna take me weeks to fix."

Kurotsuchi gently slugs him in the shoulder. "You got it, just keep trying. Good work out there, good to know two of us are going to the finals."

Hibiki gives her a blank stare. "Kuro, you haven't fought yet."

"Yeah, but I'll win."

"Save it for another round, princess!" Anko calls out. "Right now, our next competitors are Choujuro vs Uchiha Sasuke!"

The two catch each other's eyes from across the arena. Sasuke's are stern and piercing, while Choujuro is taken aback by his opponent's intensity and is instantly on the backfoot.

Shaking his head, Sasuke steps down to the arena and gives his for some time to compose himself, all while studying them. "That bandaged bundle on his back has to be one of the seven swords of the mist. Zabuza mentioned a lot about them, maybe I can figure out which. Thick bundle, broad blade, but nowhere near big enough to be Samehada, not that it's owner's even been tracked down yet. Not square enough to be Shibuki, or oddly-shaped for Kabutowari. Too big for Nuibari or Kiba. That leaves Hiramekarei. Arguably the most versatile… gotta stay on my toes."

As they stand across from each other, they each reach for their blades. Sasuke grips his chokuto and keeps it sheathed, and Choujuro grasps Hiramekarei as it rests on his back.

"... HAJIME!"

The moment Anko's off the ground, most expect them to rush each other instantly. Instead, it becomes a battle of wills. Light twitches and transitions in their chakra are barely perceptible, testing each other silently.

Above all others, taijutsu and kenjutsu specialists have a keen eye for the smallest details in their foe's movements. Shifting a foot by half an inch, loosening or tightening your grip, anything and everything has purpose and meaning, and narrows down expectations of your target's next move.

Sasuke's grip is consistent. His blade's style and function is singular, and his elements remove need for compensation when applied. An occasional faint spark of lightning sparks between his bicep and forearm. Once or twice, there's a spark of flame from between his fingers. His eyes slowly turn red, and a pair of tomoe in each dilates into view.

Choujuro internally debates his style and grip. His free hand twitches as he debates forms to use, his grip tightens as he considers bigger opening moves.

What Sasuke notices most is his footing is off, and his stance overall is shaky. He's trained well, but he's nervous.

And that's all Sasuke needs.

He draws his chokuto and rushes Choujuro with his sharingan spinning. Choujuro responds with a swing of Hiremekarei, and the clash rings out across the arena. Neither blade has any give until Sasuke turns his blade sideways and forces Choujuro to lean forwards. With his footing ruined, Sasuke pushes back with both hands and the flat of his blade, breaking Choujuro's balance.

Looking to regain control, Choujuro grabs the second handle in his left hand and splits the blade into its twin form. He tries to swing the lower half under Sasuke's guard and into his ribs, but Sasuke backs up and out of his range in a flash.

Sasuke takes a moment to circle Choujuro and size him up, but ends up being rushed instead.

"KAIHO!" (Unleash)

Chakra erupts from Hiramekarei and enshrouds every inch, extending the blade's edge a few more inches and reinforcing both blades. Choujuro leaps into a diagonal spin with the blades held at alternate heights by his right shoulder and left hip. The whirling pair of blades is then fully extended and slammed down onto Sasuke with a burst of momentum, both caught as Sasuke falls into a kneel beneath the oppressive assault.

Sasuke and his blade then spark to life with lightning, and he tilts his blade down to the left and makes Hiraemekarei start sliding off.

Choujuro knows better than to keep up the pressure until he falls, so he releases one blade and tries to force Sasuke's down with the other, while the freed blade comes in on Sasuke's right.

The last thing he expects is for Sasuke to bolt through three one-handed signs and expand the range of his Mahiken to a three foot radius. Lightning sparks through Choujuro and rapidly numbs him, forcing him to back up and out of melee range.

Just as Choujuro's out of lightning range, he drops Mahiken and flips through another three handsigns, catching Choujuro's eye and ending on Tiger, lighting himself ablaze. "Moeruken Kohai!"

Naruto leans over the rails with a vicious grin. "YES! And if my seal holds, he's got this!"

Kakashi peeks to him for a moment, then raises his headband to watch. "A seal for what, exactly?"

"Well, biggest flaw with Moeruken Kohai turned out to be lack of air. But, buy a nice oxygen tank, siphon it all into a seal on the roof of your mouth…"

Kakashi slowly goes slack as it sinks in. "Please tell me you did this with supervision."

"Does Ero-sennin count?"

"You know damn well he doesn't."

Sasuke sighs as he stands and cracks his neck, slowly raising a blade that starts to glow orange in the heat of his flames. "Let's see if the boy from the mist can take the heat."

Choujuro's rushed down in a hurry, but the flames prove more than just a burning hazard. They're bright, difficult to look right into for long, and shroud Sasuke's movements in just the right way to disguise half his tells in a brawl. The fire chakra in his chokuto starts to burn through the chakra barrier around Hiramekarei, and Choujuro is left constantly on the backfoot.

This persists until Choujuro gets fed up and roars out, unleashing a massive torrent of chakra from the blades as he recombines them. The thin gap between condenses and pressurizes the chakra stream, producing a long, thin blade, twenty feet of slicing chakra arching through the air.

Only for Sasuke to simply disappear like a mirage, leaving a large patch of fire in the mulch where he's been standing. Choujuro freezes as the genjutsu is unveiled, and he whips around in search of Sasuke, only to find a massive heap of burning bamboo falling towards him. In another, he swings another chakra blade and cleaves the falling hazard, but leaves himself wide open.

Sasuke's blade is at his back, the heat leaving a light burn as it sears through his leather vest. "You're not bad, but you really need to grow a spine, before what little of one you have gets cut."

Choujuro gulps and trembles, but eventually nods and slowly steps away from blade as he raises his hands. "I-I yield."

"WOO!" Sakura cheers from the sidelines. "Two for two baby!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes and smirks as he shuts his flames off, revealing he's actually a bit singed from his own technique. "Hear that, Naruto? Better not f*ck it up for us."

Naruto looks around at the potential remaining opponents and cringes. "Might be a tall order, but I've got it."

"Oh?" Haku looks to him with the same gentle smile as ever, but something in her eyes is threatening. "Afraid to fight me in earnest?" She silently welcomes Choujuro back up to the team and gives the boy a quick hug. He freezes up for a moment, but gladly leans into it.

Kurotsuchi scoffs. "Nah, he's gotta be talkin about me, future kage to future kage and all."

"Really? Who says you two are the only ones?"

"Ladies, ladies." Naruto gently waves them down. "... You're both f*cking terrifying, and I look forward to kicking both your asses."

"Sorry musuko, you're gonna have to wait." Anko chuckles. "We're down to the last three, and the next match is Suigetsu vs Kin"

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A.N.: Yeah, I know, this one took me a long while. But, I'm slowly getting back into the swing, and the holiday clusterf*ck of content for my youtube channel has slowed down. Also starting to get a bit out of that long depressive episode. So, next chapter should be in March instead of waiting 3 months, especially since I've got big plans for the three remaining matches. Can you guess what the remaining two after Suigetsu and Kin are?

For now, comment, subscribe, and look forward to the finale of the chuunin exam preliminaries. The final matches are gonna be quite the spectacle…