Cold, almost hypothermic. The more I tried to swim, the more I felt myself descending lower into the abyss. Using my sight was no use as there was barely any light coming from the surface, so I decided to let go. I felt my body slowly lose consciousness, surrounded by darkness…
“Gah-” I struggle to fill my lungs with air. I breathed in hastily, almost like I was trying to consume all the oxygen around me. As my breathing slows down, I realize that I’m not surrounded by water anymore. After opening my eyes, I look down to notice that I’m standing on a wet wooden floor. How did…? I look up, noticing the hole that I fell from. The water defies all physics as it stays just above the entrance. But, how…? I decided to push all the questions in the back of my head for a moment as I realized that I still did not know where I was. Swaying my head from left to right, I take in the surroundings. I somehow ended up in a rundown bar that had quite a lot of rustic elements to it. It wasn’t completely dark as some of the decorative candles were still lit even after all this time. I sit up slowly, brushing myself off. The more I looked at everything, the more nervous I felt. The unfinished plates with food, the burning candles, and the slightly deformed sofas told me that this place hadn’t been abandoned for a long time. It seemed like it was a sudden change that nobody anticipated. A shiver went down my spine. Deciding to ignore the underlying fear that was building up, I noticed a statue in front of me. It looked like a girl that was sitting, curled up, on a chair. The statue looked… out of place almost, as it was in the middle of everything. I walk up to it, studying it from up close.
“Oh… hello…” an eye slowly opened on the girl’s face. I jump back, not ready for it to move. The girl moved slowly, almost rusty, as it tilted its head straight. “Oh… I did not mean to scare you,” its voice sounded doubled, having both a masculine and a feminine tint to it “It’s just that I haven’t seen somebody in so long. You’re the first person to come by in a while as this place shut down a long time ago, or was it long? I can’t be sure.” Its eye closes, a melancholic feeling surrounding it.
I step forward slowly, feeling a little more safe now that I know it wasn’t trying to actively hurt me.
“Who… are you? And, more importantly, where am I?” I asked, feeling more at ease. It looks back at me with a pitiful look.
“Did you also get stuck down here? I am so sorry… This place isn’t for the faint of heart. But, to answer your questions, I am Koyuki and this place is a memory of some sort. The person that this memory belongs to has long been absent in this world. They left this place abandoned as they slowly forgot about their past. It wasn’t a happy memory, I’m sure, but being able to completely forget about it makes me a little… concerned for the dreamer of this world.” it spoke steadily like this was just another day for it. I stare at it, nonmoving. It noticed my reluctance and slowly sat up from its chair, straightening its winter clothes. Looking more at it, the girl was wearing a white winter coat, having some blue boots to accompany the outfit as well. Its hair was long and silver, almost translucent in this dim light.
Noticing my stare, it spoke to me “Well, not to be rude, but I would also like to know who you are and how you ended up here in the first place. Are you also a memory, just like us?”
I think about its question and mumble “I… don’t exactly remember how I got here. My first memory is of being in a vast ocean, not being able to swim to the surface. I thought that was it for me, so I just let the waves carry me into the abyss. I somehow ended up here… with no recollection of who I was before this. I’m sorry if this is not helpful…”
The girl walks past me and looks up at the hole that I fell from. “This hole is a portal between the dream world and reality. The dreamer was the only one who was able to fall from here, often visiting this place to feel comfort,” it uttered, looking back towards me “But you look nothing like the dreamer.” I try to take a step back, feeling the judging stare from the girl. It started walking towards one of the exit doors of the bar, opening it to reveal a new void. “Are you coming?” it asked me, tilting its head. I hurriedly walked to it, not wanting to be left alone in this darkness “Y-yeah, alright…”
The figure and I walk through the void, stepping on visibly nothing. I grab the girl’s sleeve, not wanting to get lost in here.
“Where are we going?” I whisper to it, looking around nervously.
“To find the dreamer,” it responded without much emotion in its voice “as it is necessary to know why a stranger was able to access this world without permission from them. It is… odd.” I keep walking behind them without saying anything more.
Suddenly, a door appears in front of us. I jump while the figure remains completely still like it has been here before. The door looks like a prison cell door, having rust on its bars. The girl opened the door without much resistance from it. Inside, we see a… girl? It was hard to describe it as that because something about it was very wrong. The figure walks closer to it, dragging me along as well. The girl’s body was made out of quartz, having visible cracks across it. The head was different though as it was completely black, having attached to it a mask that resembled a young girl’s face. Her hair was white as well, but it wasn’t as shiny as the figure’s. It stepped away from us on four legs, walking around like an animal.
“Who… is that?” I murmured, not wanting the girl to hear me.
“That is the dreamer’s vision of her child self,” it squats down and extends its hand “Her behavior being completely animalistic compared to anything else in this dark space.” The girl gallops to the figure, letting herself be petted by it. “There was once a time when the dreamer fell in love for the first time. She was ecstatic by the feeling at first, but once her love was unrequited, she started completely hating every part of herself. She often felt like she wanted to get rid of her skin and her thoughts, but she once made a promise to herself stating that she is not allowed to cause any kind of harm to her body. So instead of physically harming, she created this version of herself, pouring all her grief and hatred into it. She would often visit here to punch her, kick her, tug her hair and, of course, all of these actions created these cracks all across her body. This version pretty much has the mind of an animal as she did not know how to defend herself in those dire times. Quite a sad existence, isn’t it?” My eyes widened as I heard the story, looking at the girl with more and more guilt. “Well, it’s about time I did this” The figure sits up and walks towards the origin of the chain that was holding the girl here. Wait, a chain? I look at her leg, just now noticing the chain that was constraining her from leaving this room. The figure holds more and more tightly onto the chain until it breaks. How the hell did she do that? Wasn’t it made out of steel? Questions fill my mind as I notice the chain vaporizing into thin air. The figure walks back to us.
“How… did you do that?” I ask timidly. It looks at me, smugly.
“Looks can be very misleading in this world, that is all I’ll say,” it stated, showing her arm. The girl started running around the room, ecstatic. The newfound freedom was very enlightening.
“She seems to be very happy about it” I laugh, happy to see her so energized.
“It is only natural after all. This room is not the most welcoming, especially with what she experienced” it replied, watching her. The figure started walking towards the exit, sure that the others would follow it as well. The girl and I got the hint and followed closely behind.
“Now, for this to work, you’ll have to do exactly as I say. Is that clear?” the figure asks. Both of us nod, a little scared of what's about to come. “First, lay in the darkness,” it said, all of us doing as she ordered, “and then completely relax your body. It does not work if you’re forcing it.” I close my eyes and empty my mind, entering a meditative state. The quietness of the abyss made it so much easier to relax. After a few minutes, I notice lights playing beyond my eyelids. I open them, realizing that we are in a completely different area now.
“Whoa…” I exclaim, taken aback by the beauty of the world. Blue petals surrounded us, flowing in the wind. The ground was made out of water and reacted when we touched it, but it didn’t feel wet. We could even see our reflections through it, completely mesmerized. Around us, there were a couple of immense black pyramids, made out of obsidian. The part that caught all of our attention was the gigantic moon in the sky, just watching us, observing our every little move. It should’ve been petrifying, but something about its moonlight gave us a comforting feeling. It was like seeing an old friend.
“Before we get absorbed into the prettiness of this world, it would be better to start moving already. We have a goal to complete after all,” it stated, its silver hair flowing in the wind. Its ever-so-changing eye was staring right at us.
“R-right! Who or what are we searching for this time?” I asked sheepishly, making sure that the girl was right by my side.
“...an old friend.” the figure grimaced at the thought of it. Reading the room, I became focused on what we had to do.
“Lead the way then, Koyuki.” I smile, feeling safe by its side. The figure was a little taken aback by how trusting I became with it, but its expression changed quickly as it started walking towards one of the pyramids.
Old friend, huh? I thought to myself as we all started climbing the pyramid. After looking at the shape of it for a bit, I realized that it was actually a rotated cube, but half of it had succumbed into the water. My confusion grows more as we reach the top of it.
“This is odd.” the figure comments while looking around, slight concern visible on its face.
“Hm? What happened?” I ask, looking curiously at it. The figure stays quiet, its movements becoming more alarmed as they keep searching the place. The girl shares the same confusion as me, observing it. I grab its shoulder, trying to snap it out of it. “We can’t help you if you won’t tell us what happened,” I said, noticing that all of its focus was shifted to me.
“They’re… not here,” the figure shuddered in place “and that could mean a lot of things. The person we are searching for either got completely forgotten, which is extremely unlikely, or… they were hidden away deeper into her subconscious after what happened.” I look quizzically at her, barely grasping what that meant. Deeper into her subconscious… I think while walking close to the edge of the cube. This whole thing made me realize that I really don’t understand the rules of this world. Staring into the water below, I notice the moon reflected in it. The moon offers me a false sense of comfort while I stare at it, letting my brain wander. Suddenly, I noticed something. Something… was coming towards me, coming from inside the water. A hand? Is that a hand? I felt as though I could not move. It comes closer and closer, having a slight orange tint to it.
“There’s more to be seen, it comes from within,” it spoke
It suddenly drags me down, making me fall from the so-called pyramid. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the figure reaching to grab me, but to no avail. As I fall, I notice its eye. It was… scared. Are they… concerned for me? That was my last thought before reaching the water and succumbing in it, finally feeling the coldness of it.
It felt familiar. The slow descent into a dark and cold abyss. No light to be seen from the top, my lungs fighting to breathe. This had happened once before. So, knowing that, I close my eyes with the hope that when I will open them again, I’ll just be back into that rundown bar with Koyuki once more. I’ll be safe once more…
Darkness. Once I felt that I had finally reached the bottom, I opened my eyes, feeling the dry floor around me. But, this was not the rundown bar. I sit up, taking in my surroundings. It seemed that I was now in a long hallway, decorated with all kinds of cute stickers and decorations. The wallpapers were a childish pink, having hearts painted across it. The floor was fluffy, reminding me of a bunny’s fur. Bunny’s fur…? That’s oddly specific. The light was also weirdly bright, not giving any kind of creepy feeling. This place really did feel safe, but it still felt like something was screaming in the back of my head, warning me. I tried to focus on it, but I still couldn’t grasp what it was saying.
Ignoring my gut feeling, I start walking forward. I noticed that on every door in this hallway, there was a drawing with a childish look to it. It was almost like it was telling a story. A group of five kids playing together, all smiling. There’s an argument between all of them. Suddenly, there were only three of them now, playing together. The younger one in the group plays alone while the other two discuss something serious. Huh…? It seems to be the same drawing, but one of the people in the discussion poofs, leaving the other to just stare off into the void, smiling. I backtrack back to the previous drawing. I pay closer attention to it. Two people having a serious argument. Two people… Koyuki and someone. Yet, this Koyuki was different. It looked completely human, not like the figure that we met in that bar. It had two eyes, shiny, new winter clothing, and a weirdly motherly feel. The person next to it was completely unknown. No it wasn’t. The kid in the back looked like the animalistic girl that I met, but much more sane. She looked like a normal child playing with her toys. This all suddenly started to feel more off-putting. Even so, I decided to continue walking down the hallway. A person staring off into space while the other plays with her toys. A child sleeping in the background while the other four argue with the unknown person. Reaching the end of the hallway, I notice the last drawing placed below the mirror on a table. I look at the mirror. Nothing’s wrong. I grab the last drawing. Four kids smiling happily, holding hands. A phone starts ringing. I look to my right, noticing a rotary phone. I answer it.
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“Orange.”
“Orange who?”
The lights break. I look up. I see myself. I see… eyes. Behind me. Behind me? Orange, glossy eyes, behind me. Tall, very tall. Oh! It’s the unknown person! Huh…? I stare at it. It stares back. I stare at it. It stares back. A checkmate. I can’t move. My vision becomes blurry as tears fill my vision. Orange hair, orange bunny. Funny smile, funny face. I sob, feeling like I’m about to faint. Happy memories, sad memories. Scary times, suffocating feelings. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’msorryI’msorryImsorryImsorry-
“Aren’t you forgetting someone?”
I pass out.
***
The figure extends its hands, trying its best to grab onto them, but to no avail. In a matter of seconds, they disappear into the abyss of the ocean. It looks at the water for a couple of minutes trying to figure out a solution to all this. It loses itself in thought, getting more and more frustrated as time goes on.
Suddenly, the girl bumps into the figure, wearing a slight sympathetic expression on her face. The figure pets the girl, looking like it had found an idea.
“If they went to hell, we must contact heaven first,” it said, completely confident about the statement. The girl was inevitably confused as that string of words doesn’t really have that much sense to the average conscience. The figure looks at the moon, a sour expression growing on its face.
It closes its eye, takes a deep breath, then speaks “I do not speak to you often as you have crushed us all once you came into contact with the dreamer, but do one right thing in your life and help us find that person.” It opens its eye and stares right at the moon. It shines bright, nonmoving, almost in a taunting manner. The figure sighs, getting more impatient. “You have forsaken us all in this hell and you cannot even think of losing some of your dignity for a noble cause!?” The figure practically screams at the moon, its eye completely open.
Abruptly, the moon begins to darken. Once it becomes completely devoid of light, it shines a bright red, simulating a lunar eclipse. The water below gets promptly overwhelmed from the rising red hands, reaching for the sky. A staircase forms in front of both of them, leading to the deepest reaches of the world. “That’s what I thought.” the figure stated, beginning to descend into the madness that remained hidden for way too long. The girl follows suit, looking quite worried for what’s about to come.
As they kept descending, the chaos of the beginning of the stairs dies down, becoming more ambient than anything. The hands practically disappear, letting the environment shine through. It looked like a dark sky filled with stars, seeming infinite to the naked eye. It was… beautiful, to say the least, or that’s just what Koyuki thought. Besides the staircase that the two of them were walking on, there seemed to be other staircases just like this one, going in seemingly random locations.
The figure admires the surroundings, then whispers “I have only ever heard of this place through empty words, never truly giving it much thought, but seeing it now in front of my eye, it is a… beautifully crafted place, a somber feeling surrounding it all.” The girl looks up at Koyuki, expressing an almost excited look. “Even if this place is pleasant, it is a little contradictory for us to even reach it as we are trying to reach the top, not the bottom. But, through unforeseen circ*mstances, I am almost entirely sure that that person got stuck in here, experiencing memories that they really should not experience. This place is not for the faint of heart, so I do worry…” the figure advised, looking almost worried at the approaching door at the end of the staircase.
Reaching it, Koyuki took a big breath, letting all her worries shine just for a second. Suddenly, it becomes as stone faced as usual, opening the door without fear. Before stepping in, she looks at the girl, crouches down, then hugs her tight. She is taken aback by the sudden comfort, not knowing how to respond. “Once we’ll step in here, we might never be who we were before ever again. Do you understand that?” it asked, its face not visible because of the hug. The girl shook for a second, but acknowledging the severity of the situation, she became stone faced as well, not letting any fear through anymore. “Good,” the figure stands up and faces the door “we are now ready. Let us go.”
“The first memory. The one that started it all.” the figure explained, walking through a small, comfy bar. It did not look like the bar that it came from as it had a completely different structure and vibe. Multiple people populated the area, but the person that caught their eye was… him. A person with a seemingly friendly aura was wandering the bar, the dissonance between his masculine voice and feminine body was apparent. He had long, wavy, orange hair with two bunny ears sticking out the top. The person next to him was… the girl, but less animalistic. She just looked like a normal girl, having long white hair and two ears that matched him. She was wearing a long, silky dress, giving her an almost sleepy aura. She looked around timidly, not seeming too confident in her ability to start a conversation. She was planning to run away until that guy entered her view. “Hey, I really like your avatar!” he smiled, friendliness surrounding him. The girl was taken aback by the sudden noise, but shyly responded back to him. After the cutscene played, they both disappeared, taking the colors out of the environment as well. This sudden change reminded the figure that this was, indeed, just a memory. “We must continue.” The figure explained, walking deeper into the bar.
After walking through one of the doors, they ended up in another memory with a completely different environment. This world seemed more open-ended than the last one, having the appearance of a floating city in the sky. It was very evolved, having more buildings than the eye could see. In the middle of it all were the three friends, wandering around the city, seeming almost lost. The two bunnies from before were present, but the new one sent a shiver down the figure’s back. It looked exactly like it, but the only difference was its face, looking like an average face with two blue eyes.
Suddenly, they all flew off by swinging their arms, leaving it completely shocked. It tried to do the same, but nothing happened. The figure looked at the girl for answers, but she was nowhere to be seen. It started looking left and right, panicked, until it realized that the girl was… flying? “How…?” the figure asks, impressed by her ability almost. The girl flies down towards it, slightly crouching down for it to ride her. Even through the absurdity, the figure climbed on her. She took off not long after, heading straight to where those three went.
Arriving at the said location, it now seemed like the group found another girl exploring the area. She seemed as timid as the white bunny, having yellow hair, grown till her shoulders. She was dressed in a typical school outfit, having a yellow sweater accompanied by a short blue skirt. Her blue backpack balanced her whole outfit, seeming quite empty. Through the whole conversation, the figure picks out a peculiar topic.
“So wait, how old are you?” The girl with yellow hair asked, not entirely sure from the white bunny’s voice.
“Oh, I’m twelve.” The girl replied, not bothering to add any more information to that statement.
“Haha, yeah… but actually, how old are you?” the schoolgirl inquired, not seeming convinced by her previous answer.
“Um, I’m actually twelve.” The bunny insisted, not really understanding her confusion. The cutscene cuts off abruptly, the people disappearing with it as well.
“Twelve… not once did I sit to think about the dreamer’s actual age. Interesting.” The figure murmured, thinking out loud. It switches its attention back to a more familiar face, pointing with its head towards the unknown. The animalistic girl lets the figure ride her once more, flying into the sky, hoping to find something more.
The environment changes yet again, entering another memory. Yet, this time it was different. The whole surrounding looked wack, almost glitched. It is visible that this memory is having trouble staying connected with the dreamer’s world. The figure rides off the girl, switching its focus on a group nearby. In a seemingly glitched forest, a group of around seven people were arguing. Yet, none of the conversation was understandable because of the slight glitching. Suddenly, three of them, the white and orange bunny accompanied by a clone of it, left the world through a portal. The rest of the group vanishes, being outside of the field of view of the dreamer. “A dispute, not quite resolved at the right time. This kind of event really wasn’t appropriate for a girl her age.” the figure suggested, passing through the same portal as them.
“Well, from here on out… I don’t think we’ll be understanding much,” it admitted, staring off into the incomprehensible pink abyss. Fractions of memories tossed left and right into the pink clouds, repeating over and over like a broken record. Only a couple important phrases were able to be understood, like “I’m sorry I made you feel this way”, “Don’t go, please”, “So I’m the bad person now, huh?” All that scattered glass showed the perspective of the dreamer into different situations, both good and bad. The figure and the girl were mesmerized by them, slowly moving through the abyss.
“I’m not entirely sure where we should even be going…” it spoke, a little lost from all the fog. Suddenly, they came across a barricaded door, decorated with all kinds of drawings and pages that seemed out of a journal. Scratch marks were visible from under the door, which was a little concerning to see. But, below all those pages, a sign that said Wonderland was barely visible. “Wonderland, huh… never thought we’d come across something like this in hell.” the figure remarked, staring at the door for a long time. It starts tugging at the chains wrapping the door, noticing they are more loose than it thought, falling right off the door. “These chains… they’ve been brutally destroyed and hastily put back together before by… something. I don’t recognize these marks nor fingerprints because they seem to be ever-so-changing, never the same.” the figure gulped, dropping the chain in fear. After a few minutes of silence, it opens the door, looking back at the girl “We have to keep going. This thing… whatever it is! It’s not one of us.” The girl bumped into the figure, making it ride her, a sign that she was indeed ready for this journey. “Let’s go then.” the girl galloped through the door, closing brutally right after them.
***
Bright… light. I squint my eyes while my vision gets used to the sunlight hitting my face. I shift around, realizing that I’m completely engulfed in a white blanket. I sit up, feeling the mattress under me. A white bed, huh? Now that my eyes are used to the light, I look around to see a cozy bedroom, decorated with all kinds of fake plants. The dark blue walls combined quite well with the dark wood furniture.
I sit up from the bed, looking out the open window. I seemed to be in an apartment on the second floor next to a rather clean neighborhood. The view outside was familiar, yet I couldn’t pinpoint why. Suddenly, the computer on the desk lit up, showing a paused game of Squad. I shifted my gaze to the door next to the bed, wanting to understand more about where I was.
I open it, walking into an open space living room. It was brightly lit, having a couch and a TV right in front of me.
“Good Morning~ Did you sleep well?” a bright voice comes from my right. I look towards it, seeing an orange haired person cooking up a meal. He was wearing a cozy yellow sweater with a big sunflower displayed right on his chest. As he looks up at me, his orange, glossy eyes become more apparent. “I’m currently cooking up some eggs. Would you like some?” he smiled, slightly wiggling his bunny ears out of excitement.
“Of course! Eggs are the best!” I exclaimed, rushing up to him. What? Why does this feel like muscle memory? I swipe up the un-whisked egg bowl, “May I help you?”
“Aww, that would be very sweet! Thank you, darling~” he smiled widely, flipping the scrambled eggs on a nearby plate. Darling? What kind of relationship do we even-
“Hehe, it’s the least I could do. After all, you're always the one cooking cuz you know what happens when I try to cook,” I chuckle, giving the bowl to him. The bunny puts the mixture into the pan.
“It’s fine~ That’s how you learn after all, right?” he scrambles the eggs a bit more before plating it. “Let’s eat this deliciousness on the couch, yeah?”
“Okaaay!” I skipped to the couch, getting comfy. This is wrong. This is definitely wrong- The clanking of the plates snaps me out of it, feeling him sitting right next to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder, opening the TV. I grab my plate, taking a bite.
“So, did you dream of anything?” he asked, his eyes fixated on the TV. I sit there for a second, trying to remember anything. What…? My memory felt nonexistent, recollecting only experiences with him in this exact apartment. That’s not right. That’s not right at all- He hugs me closer, having his eyes aimed at me. The warmness of his gaze turned blank, awaiting a response. Before I could even come up with anything, I hear myself speaking
“Yeah, I just dreamt of you and I just sitting on a rooftop, looking at the moon. The moon reached out and grabbed you, stealing you away. After that, I just sat there, surprised. I woke up shortly after that.” I spoke, looking straight at him. What… the hell even happened?
“Aww, how cute!” he smiled, petting my head. “Well, that was nice, but now your cutie has to go and start working. I’ll call you when I’m done, alright?” he stated, going straight to his bedroom, closing the door after him. I lay down on the couch, mindlessly watching TV while trying not to think about what just happened. Yet, while trying to relax, my body instinctively grabs the plates and goes to wash them. That’s fine too I guess. I look around a bit more. While the actions that I was doing felt familiar, this apartment seemed completely unknown, like I’ve only ever observed it from afar. I close my eyes for a second, feeling a wave of tiredness hit me. Out of nowhere, I see a door in front of me, lit up by only the light behind it. The door itself was scratched from head to toe, having scribbles on the wall beside it counting the days passing. There were hundreds of these scribbles, filling up the wall completely. In the blink of an eye, the door opens slightly, having someone peeking right through. The figure of this person was ever-so-changing, never settling on a specific form. His piercing blue eyes stare at me, nonmoving.
Suddenly, I hear a thud come from the bedroom, snapping me out of it. Silence followed shortly after, the sound of footsteps being completely absent. I start approaching the door, not knowing what to expect. I knocked on it a few times. No response. I knock once more. My hand starts shaking. As I reach for the doorknob, the door opens suddenly, revealing a familiar face.
“Sorry, I had to finish up that call before answering,” he spoke, a bit out of breath. “Wait, forget that, are you alright? Why did you-” before he could finish, I stepped away instinctively. That’s not what he'd say. He would never ask if I’m alright. A voice stated in the back of my head, different from my own train of thought. It had an almost childish sound to it. What- “Did… something happen? Why are you so freaked out?” he asked, reaching out to me with shaking hands. I forced my body to stay in place, letting him hug me. The shyness of the hug felt familiar, even more so than normal. Like I was meeting an old friend.
“Sorry, I guess I just got startled by the door opening so abruptly,” I explained, returning back the hug. While hugging still, I notice something behind him. Something… that couldn’t possibly be. A body hovering just above the ground, completely limp. My eyes widen-
The door closes. He backs away from the hug and smiles at me, seeming almost relieved. I returned his smile shyly, still not sure about what I saw. Putting that thought in the back of my head, I asked “Do you not have any more work for today?”
“Oh nah, that was the last call I had to take, so you came in at the right time!” he smiled even brighter. “Anyway, maybe we should do something a little more fun now, right?” he remarked, looking around the room. “What do you wanna do?”
“Um…” I sit still, not really used to the idea that I have a choice in what we do. Huh? Since when am I so indecisive?
“Let’s… play something, shall we?” he chuckled, searching for something. I look at him, still sitting in the same position as before. “Damn, no luck… Oh, let’s play truth or dare! What about it?” he proposed, seeming quite confident in his choice.
“Alright, seems fun,” I reply, walking to him to the couch. “Who starts first?”
“You can start first cuz I selected the game. I choose truth for the first one to start easy.” he grinned, awaiting his question.
“Who are you?” I asked. Wait, that was not me who- I stared at him intently.
“Huh? What do you mean?” I am me. I don’t think I understand the question, haha,” he laughed nervously, unsure what to do with his hands. “Anyway, it’s my turn to ask. I’m guessing you're going to select truth, so what’s your current obsession right now?” he insisted, looking directly at me. I think for a bit, looking around. Just for a split second, I see a girl with white hair in front of me, her fists clenched.
“None,” it spoke, emotionless. I feel myself snap back into my body, realizing that I was the one who said that, technically.
“Alright… that’s fine too. Uh, I pick dare. Maybe that will make it a bit more interesting,” he tried to smile, tensing up his body.
“I dare you to leave and bring him back.” it ordered for me, seeming almost irritated. The atmosphere is completely tense at this point, both of us not knowing what to do. “Bring him back,” it demanded, getting more and more irritated, “BRING HIM BACK!” My body feels like it’s splitting apart till I notice the white haired bunny right in front of me, tugging at him. The bunny kept tugging at his clothes, screaming incoherent sentences. She was crying. I look at the both of them, stepping away slightly. He looks at me, his stare screaming for help. I tried to get her off him which ended up with my hand being bitten. The girl stopped suddenly, looked down and said “Get out of my house. You’ve already ruined everything.”
“Uh yeah, sure thing. Let’s… go to the bedroom.” he announced, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the nearest bedroom. He closes the door as soon as we enter the room.
“Huh, I swear this bedroom was not here before.” I mentioned, looking around at the dimly lit room. “But yeah, I’m guessing that bunny person didn’t say that for no reason, so… who are you?” I insisted, sitting down on the bed.
“I’m… I…” he stuttered, his body glitching slightly “I’m exactly who you want me to be.” I stare at him blankly while he winks back. “C’mon, not my fault for wanting to pick up a girl in a fake apartment,” he smiled, sitting down next to me.
“Fake apartment?”
“Oh, I meant great apartment. Anyway, what brings you here anyway?”
“I literally have no memory”
“Oh. Well, what can I say, I like my girls clueless.” he smirked, rubbing my thigh.
“Thanks.” I said while leaning slightly away.
He grabs my face, making me face him, “C’mon, am I not the person you’ve been searching for all these years? I know what you’ve been through, so I can help you. You just have to trust me.” Our faces are as close as they can get, feeling his breath on my skin. Something about this felt… familiar. The weird situation, the dim atmosphere, his close face… it all happened before. 4:00 AM. The clock read 4 AM. I push him harshly, sitting up from the bed.
“You’re nothing like him! No, no! This is all wrong! Of course you wouldn’t know how it happened because you weren’t the one that experienced it. He was never flirty and he never cared about what I felt. He never allowed me to make choices, so who the hell are you?!” I scream at him, tears welling up in my eyes. I felt my body shaking. “Why the hell would you even wanna be like that monster…?” I asked, looking at him. He backs away, his expression vacant. His body started glitching.
“I… I just wanted to be what you wanted. I just wanted to make you happy, so why are you always so angry at me?! Everything I do, Everything I say is just wrong, isn’t it? No matter how much I try to please you, you never look back… you never… care enough,” he hugs himself, his body turning into a bunch of parts stuck together, none of them truly part of him. I reach out, tears sliding down my cheeks. “What, are you going to reach out now just because I’m like this?! I had to forget who I was to please you, to ruin my mental health just because of what you like, and now you reach out?” he snapped, slapping my hand away. “I should’ve just let you be raped by that f*cking guy. I’m sure you would’ve been happier,” he chuckled sourly, glitching out more and more. I sit still for a moment, staring through him. My legs start moving on their own and, suddenly, I grab his hand. I hold it for a moment, but only for a moment. He observes me, completely confused, yet intrigued.
I put his hand on my breast, looking through my tears, and said “Will this make you feel better…?” He froze. His expression was confused, disgusted and flustered all at once. “...Isn’t this what you wanted?” I whispered, putting his other hand on my cheek, letting him feel my flowing tears. He starts walking backwards and I follow, hugging his lower back. We bump into a mirror, leaning as close as ever. “Use me.” I spoke, my face devoid of any expression. He sits there, frustrated. Suddenly, he pushes me as hard as possible, making me almost lose my balance.
“What is wrong with you?!” he yells, the mirror shattering behind him. “I don’t get it! I don’t get it. I don’t get it…” he mumbles under his breath, clawing at his hair, “GET AWAY FROM ME!” He glitched into the mirror, disappearing.
I regain my balance and walk over to the mirror, looking at myself through the broken shards. I noticed something unusual. My face… was burning. It was as red as it could get. I felt my heart beating out of my chest and my thoughts were foggy, all over the place. I stared at myself a second longer, feeling my chest, and said “So, this is love.”
***
“Agh, this is going nowhere!” The figure punches a wall, defeated. The girl brushes her body against its leg, purring like a cat. “We’ve been searching in this godforsaken town for what feels like hours now! I thought that once we found that locked door and opened it, we would’ve found them, but there’s no trace. I just can’t seem to find any clue to where-” he stops himself, noticing an open light in one of the nearby apartments. It was coming from the second floor. “Well, speak of the devil.” he scoffs, walking to it.
Upon reaching it, they look up at the balcony. The apartment building itself only had 3 floors, more so looking like an extended house. The other buildings looked exactly the same, having different cars parked in front of all of them. It checks the wall, wondering if it was climbable. It finds a chipped part of the wall, being able to hold onto it. The figure starts climbing it slowly, making sure not to hurry. “Can't believe those climbing lessons are really coming in handy right now.” it chuckles, feeling the girl grasping onto it.
As soon as they reach the balcony, the figure collapses onto the floor, gasping for air. “Just give me… one second…” it whined, laying face first into the floor. While the figure was catching its breath, the girl walked into the apartment, still on all fours. She makes eye contact with that white bunny girl, both not moving an inch.
The figure sits up from its misery, waddling into the apartment as well. What it saw was not as expected.
“Aww, you’re just so cute!!! He would’ve loved to see you!” the white bunny smutters the girl with pats, smiling widely. The figure walks over to them, confused. It notices something particular about this whole situation. The bunny, the girl and itself had all white hair and trauma. “Didn’t know the dreamer was so creative.” it thought to itself, chuckling a bit about the situation. Returning back to the present moment, it asks “Hello bunny person, have you perhaps seen another person similar to your height, kind of confused all the time?” The white bunny looks at it, thinking for a moment. “Oh, if you’re talking about the two people that completely ruined everything, they went into that bedroom over there. They were talking about some dirty stuff I think. I stopped paying attention pretty fast,” she responded, still petting the girl as if it was a dog. “Two? That can’t be right…” the figure stated, going straight into that room.
Upon opening the door, the first thing that it noticed was the broken mirror. It had a paper stuck to it. Walking over to it, it observed the fact that some of the shards were painted with blood as if someone purposefully stabbed their own hand on it. “That can’t be good.” it thought, grabbing the piece of paper. A short poem. Noticing the rose drawn next to it, it started reading it:
In the dead of night,
Time escapes me
Left with just one light
I crave thee
A presence of fright
Prolongs to the night
Only to me
Only to me
After finishing the poem, the whole apartment started shaking. Things falling left and right, just as if an earthquake was happening. The shaking becomes worse and worse, making the figure lose balance. It starts crawling to the living room, making sure everyone is okay. It notices the girl trying to shield the bunny from the falling pieces, looking for a reason for this happening in the first place.
“We need to get out of here!” the figure yelled at them, holding the wall to regain balance. It points to the balcony door. The girl grabs the bunny by the collar and gallops outside with no hesitation. She was sure that the figure could get out without their help. The ceiling shatters in two, letting all the other debris fall right in the middle of the room. As it gets harder to see, the figure is barely able to walk besides the wall towards the exit. In the brink of the moment, it looks back, feeling a certain familiar presence coming through. It blinks a couple of times, noticing a silhouette. “It… can’t be,” it thought to itself, completely losing sight of what it was supposed to do. It starts approaching it, reaching out. Its eye is as wide as it could be. The silhouette… was hovering just above ground, a thin line above its head. While there was barely any walkable ground left, the figure reached the body, holding on to it. It looks up, its eye filling up with tears.
The figure closes its eye for a second, taking it all in. It remembers… this feeling. The feeling of loss and regret. The feeling of pure distraught as he learned about the truth of his close friend. Suddenly, he finds himself in that same familiar room that he’d been stuck in for ages. Not physically, but mentally. He sees that same exact silhouette, hearing the loud police alarms just outside the window. His friend’s body was lit up by those same blue and red lights. In the blink of an eye, he finds himself at the church that he used to attend every Sunday, only for it to be completely ruined by this horrid experience. He used to find his inner peace in this place, only for it to become unknown once again. He looks at the portrait laid directly above the coffin, making a promise to himself. He promised… that he’d try to protect all those that he’d care for, that gave him another reason to keep going. He promised to himself that he’d never let anyone disappear from his life ever again.
Coming back to the present moment, it cried out “I let it happen… again.” Crouching down next to it, the figure ultimately accepts defeat. Its body becomes as hard as stone, returning back to its original form of a statue.
The apartment building collapses onto itself, just as the others do the same. The nearby cars start blaring in unison, adding on to the chaos. The girl jumps back, trying to avoid as much of the falling debris as possible. The earthquake slows down slightly, letting them fully comprehend the fact that the figure was still inside the apartment when it collapsed. They both run to it, gnawing chaotically at the pile of scattered objects and dust, but to no avail.
No, that’s not it
The figure lets go of the corpse and makes a run for it, sprinting towards the window. It successfully jumps out, letting itself be caught by the girl. They didn’t have any time to lose-
That’s just too predictable and unrealistic
The memories, the thoughts that were brought by this corpse overwhelm it, freezing in place. Yet, instead of the building collapsing, it stays there, unmoving. All the noise from the outside stops as well, silence prevailing.
Suddenly, the sound of slow claps starts filling the area. The figure, confused, walks towards the balcony of the building, noticing how everything stopped in time, even the girl and the bunny. Yet, beside them was a familiar person, clapping slowly at the figure’s efforts.
“I’m so glad you got over your fear! With that newfound determination, you would have come to find me, right? It just shows how your character was written to be unrealistically heroic and helpful at all times, leading all the other side characters. Isn’t that just the greatest role to have?” I smile brightly at it, just so proud. The figure stays there in fear, noticing the offness in my gaze. My eyes are slightly lidded down, my smile crooked and forced. It’s as if it was a completely different person in the body of a familiar one. It still jumps down, walking over to me.
“What… are you talking about? I mean, we would have come to find you, so then why are you here? Have you been here all this time? What do you-” the figure gets cut off by my gesture, putting one finger to my lips to silence it.
“It was all so simple really, so I thank you for making me realize it. This world,” I open my arms, showing everything around us, “it’s just so… useless. I couldn’t understand for a while why it was all so predictable, and yet, after I met him, I realized that I created it. I made this whole world to create unnecessary problems and fix them, just to feel like I was doing something worthwhile. Making conflicts, writing angsty scenes, surrounding myself with old memories that have passed a long time ago. It sounds so depressing, doesn’t it” I spoke, looking off into nothingness. The figure steps closer to me, then stops. It wants to reach out, but doesn’t know what to do. Technically, its job was done. It found the dreamer and now they can return back to their normal lives, but they never counted for this kind of outcome. The outcome where… the dreamer would destroy everything familiar to them. Finally moving on. That’s not at all what the dreamer would do, and yet, here they were, looking at every broken building as if it was the ugliest thing someone could’ve made.
I suddenly delete everything unnecessary. All the falling buildings disappeared out of sight, only the figure and I remaining in this fractured world. The ground and the sky were all glitched out, random objects appearing and disappearing out of sight.
“So then… what’s next? Now that the ‘conflict’ has been resolved, won’t everything go back to normal? Isn’t that what you planned, dreamer?” the figure asks shyly, unsure of everything.
“For a character that’s supposed to be calm and collected, you act quite aloof. Disappointing honestly.” I remarked, deleting it right on the spot, “Now all that’s left is finding that thing that I never counted for in the first place.” I notice a faraway person, scrambling left and right, trying to find an exit. I walk over to it, staring intently at its glitched body, never settling on one shape. “Hello, old friend,” I said, noticing its frantic actions. It looks at me, its eyes widening.
“You! Did you do all of this?!” it screams at me, its body slightly shaking.
This is such a waste of time
I try deleting it on the spot, as I normally have all the power in this world of mine, yet, nothing happens. It just stays there, watching over every move that I make. My confidence drops slightly as I realize that I don’t have control over this thing. A person that I created somehow caught a conscience of its own, making it impossible to predict it.
Interesting
“Ugh, do you really have to stare at me all weirdly like that? Can’t you just answer a damn question like a normal human being?” it demanded, stomping over to me. I sit there, observing. “You’ve always been like this. Always with your head in the clouds and never listening to anybody’s advice. Can you get out of your damn head for one f*cking second?!” it shouted, grabbing and lifting me off the ground. I stare, curiously. “Only keeping your ideals, never fixing the bigger problems and just living in a fantasy world… that will destroy you, sooner or later, but you know that already, don’t you?” it stated, its body becoming bigger and uglier, clawing me into the air.
My skin gets cut by its ever-so-changing claws, my heart beating faster and faster. For the first time in forever, I feel that my life is in danger. Tears leak out of my eyes as I try to escape, but to no avail. This kind of panic, this kind of hopelessness…
“Oh! I get it!” I chuckled, my smile forced, “You’re everything I tried to run away from. My insecurities, my loneliness, my struggles… everything bunched up into one messed up character, if you could even be called that.” It becomes three times the size of me, getting ready to eat me whole. “Everything that went wrong… it still haunts me and I just can’t seem to make it go away,” its mouth opens, its teeth as sharp as knives, “This is it, isn’t it?”
It swallows me whole, darkness filling my vision. I feel my body breaking down slowly, my shape unrecognizable. This is it.
